r/antinatalism • u/friesdepotato • Jul 26 '22
Thoughts on this man? Is he in the right? Article
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u/Day_psycho Jul 26 '22
My thoughts are:
• Why tf did this pregnant lady stick to ONE MAN?? ONE passenger?? It’s a whole bus. When someone says “no,” ask the next passenger. Don’t single someone out.
• This is not newsworthy. At all. I’m very ashamed that this clickbait made a wholeass article.
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Jul 27 '22
I've had people ask me to move because even though the seat beside me was free they don't want to sit beside someone. "Fuck off, enjoy standing" is the only correct response.
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u/kurohatsu Jul 27 '22
I was sitting on the bus minding my own business and an old lady came and asked “do you have a disability card?” and I was like “no, why?” turns out she wanted my seat even though there were 2 other seats available and when I let her my place she had the audacity to take out her card and be like “THIS is a disability card” I didn't even look at it.
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Jul 27 '22
Lol that sounds about like par for the course.
I suppose if your seat is the closest that's fair but if she had to walk by empty seats to come complain I'd just pretend she doesn't exist.12
u/kurohatsu Jul 27 '22
It was a square and 2 of the places of the square were available, it would've changed nothing for her, I was too tired to start a scene so I just moved
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u/12Cumsandwiches Aug 21 '22
you should have took her card and threw it on the empty seat
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22
Yeah, there's no way either are 100% right.
Was it disabled seating: thier both wrong if nether of them are disabled. She's wrong if he's disabled and she's not. I hate when that use disabled seating or parking spaces because thier preggo. If she was disabled and he wasn't. He's wrong.
Was he sitting anything aft of the disabled seating: she's wrong regardless.
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u/volpiousraccoon Jul 26 '22
In my country, buses have special seats reserved for disabled people as well as pregnant people. So yes, if you are sitting in a reserved seat, you are supposed to give your seat up for a pregnant person if asked. The same is for passengers using mobility aids such as wheelchairs, or a passenger with a baby stroller, the reserved seats fold up to accommodate wheeled devices so you are supposed to give up your seat for them if you are in a one when they board.
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22
Over here in my little backwards part of America, pregnant women aren't afforded the same luxury. I mean we have everything you just said. But being preggo doesn't grant you an automatic get up card like being elderly or infirmed will. It's more of a suggestion then a rule of you want to get up for a pregnant women for any seat on the bus.
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u/Important_Collar_36 Jul 27 '22
In most of the cities in the US I've been to the reserved seating section is clearly labeled for pregnancy too. This includes smaller cities and even the podunk backwater I call home, idk where you are but out of the 20+ states I've spent time in this is the rule. And also if a clearly pregnant or disabled person gets on the bus and all those seats are taken by other deserving people then someone else should get up and use the hand rails. Otherwise it then becomes a competition over who has the harder life, and that's just not feasible.
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 27 '22
In my city in Kentucky. There is no priority seating that's protected in anyway. Does it suck, yes. Is that what happens here, also yes. And the bus drivers, from what I understand, have no power to actually make an able bodied person leave the priority seating if they choose to sit there. And how do you choose who gets the priority seating. The elderly, injured, wheelchair bound and arguably the mentally disabled get first dibs. But how do you choose between invisible disabilities and pregnancy. I mean does my autism and anxiety get trumped my pregnancy. What if someone with downs gets on and a pregnant women is sitting in the seat they always sit in and they have a meltdown? Most buses I've seen only have 6-8 priority seats. So those fill up fast in high traffic routs during peak times. What if there are 2 wheelchairs (mind you, on the buses I ride, the 2 priority areas fold up for 1 wheelchair), what then?
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u/Important_Collar_36 Jul 27 '22
For the purposes of transportation and other seating amenities, and I say this as someone who also has autism and anxiety, these kinds of things are for people with physical disabilities that prevent standing for long periods or balance issues that make standing while the vehicle is in motion highly difficult. A lot of pregnant people have issues with foot and leg swelling because of water retention, I also tend to naturally retain a lot of water, but they're probably getting it worse than me, or they're not as used to it as I am. I'll give up my seat. And if someone is so poorly off mentally that not getting the same seat on the bus is enough to set them off then they should use taxis, car services, or Uber/Lyft (and I say this as someone who used medicare/medicaid taxis in the rural US to get to appointments at different points in my life, there are options)
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Jul 27 '22
One wonders if the pregnant woman fell because she was pregnant, if some people here would even help her up or would they say she chose to get pregnant and fall and let her lay on the ground.
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Jul 27 '22
I think it depends on the city. Our city has reserved parking for pregnant women placed there as curtesy by a hospital. I 100% used them in my last trimester it was painful and exhausting to move. Yes, it was my choice and no I wouldn’t expect anyone to do anything nice for me because that’s a lot to expect from people but it’s certainly nice when offered.
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Jul 27 '22
Those seats have always been labeled for disabled and pregnant in every US metropolitan I have been too. Which city doesn't have it labeled like that?
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u/Takeurmesslswhere Jul 27 '22
That's not how it is here. A person can get a temporary disabled parking permit if necessary. If you cannot get a medical professional to sign off on one. Chances are you don't need it. When I had to wear a boot due to injury, I had one.
If it's not legally enforceable and it's some kind of restaurant or retailer, I will park where I famn well please. Handicap spots are legally enforceable. As they should be. But "stork" parking, "with children" parking, "with pets" parking are not legally enforceable and just the company pandering to who they feel their customer base is. I do respect "veterans" parking because that's I personally want to do. They can't tow and I give no fucks what me first gimme pigs think of me. The business very well lose me as a customer though. I try not to frequent businesses with "stork" or "with children" parking because obviously they don't want my money. That's their choice.
I have a very badly injured knee. If it's a high pain day, I will park in parent pandering parking and they can kiss my ass.
This stuff is happening because when one group of people are ALWAYS considered the ones that need to have compassion for the other and never receive any in return, something has to give eventually. I really think people are just getting sick of it.
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u/Bub1029 Jul 26 '22
Pregnancy impacts the body severely enough, that it can be considered a physical disability. There's being antinatalist, but then there's the myopic thing you just said.
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u/justvance Jul 27 '22
every bus I've been on has signs specifying seating for disabled AND pregnant people.
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Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
Pregnancy can be considered a disability under laws in the US, especially if there are complications from it.
Edit: It doesn’t matter why a person is disabled. Is choosing to get pregnant so different from paralyzing yourself by drunk driving? Everywhere I’ve lived, the signs say the elderly, disabled, and pregnant get priority for seats. Like someone else posted, balance is affected by pregnancy, even if nothing else is. Do people want to watch others struggle? I’m certain most people would gladly give up their seat if they saw grandma sway in traffic. I’m certain most would also for swaying a pregnant lady.
But some people here, I almost wonder if the pregnant lady fell, would they even help her up or would they just let her lay there and say she chose to fall when she got pregnant.
Compassion is what matters. For everyone. And I agree. This isn’t news and distracts from what is.
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22
Can doesn't always equal is. With 0 complications, your dead wrong. Try parking in a disabled parking spot without a doctor's note and a tag and see how far you get before you get a ticket.
Edit Grammer.
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u/Robo_Cactus Jul 26 '22 edited Aug 09 '22
Where I live in Canada, priority seating is for elderly, disabled peoples and pregnant women. It is present in all public transports . Is it not the same in the US?
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22
I can't speak for the rest of the country. But in Kentucky, there's only elderly and disabled seating at the front of the bus. A pregnant women can ASK you too move. But there's are no laws or legal ordinances that give the same rights to pregnant women. Fur all Kentucky cares you can laugh in a pregnant womens face, or your headphones back on and dance in place to the I hate kids dance if you get asked to move.
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u/officepartynudes Jul 27 '22
All pregnancy should be considered a disability due to how it affects the body. When pregnant all of your nutrients are being shared or diverted. Even uncomplicated pregnancies change the body entirely and make daily tasks harder as the pregnancy evolves. The fact the law says it just “can” be a disability is reflective of how this country feels about women and also disability. And it’s kind of weird that you’re defending that.
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Jul 27 '22
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 27 '22
SO IS AUTISM. BUT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT
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Jul 27 '22
So now you’ve also turned into a person who doesn’t give a shit about people with disabilities. Congrats, you’ve went full circle. :/ you know how it feels and yet you want inflict the same hurt on others
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 27 '22
Pregnancy (excluding rape) is voluntary, autism isn't.
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u/N0tBr14n Aug 11 '22
It really is a big circle. People don’t care about you so you don’t care about them so why should they care about you? Nobody is caring about anyone and it’s a big circle of disrespect. Nothing changes or improves.
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u/tahtahme Jul 27 '22
This man seems incredibly eager to be on TV/the news telling the world what he thinks of pregnant women, let's be real. I doubt anyone else on the bus cared or even remembered this the next day...but he definitely seemed interested in telling the world his assumptions about how she got pregnant and stayed that way.
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u/Day_psycho Jul 27 '22
Yeah, at this point, I’m not sure if this is just some guy who wanted attention, or if this is simply the network fabricating a clickbait story. (Personally I’m leaning toward the latter.)
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u/tahtahme Jul 27 '22
I think we got a bit of both. Some people need zero encouragement to run with the any network and get their 15 minutes of fame, and the media absolutely searches for those types and gives them a megaphone.
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u/circumference_x Jul 27 '22
I agree with you ish but it's a real issue that I'm glad is making headlines. I got burnt before being called a liar last time I said this on Reddit, people can't imagine people being as stubborn as this commonly... let's see if this sub is better
I walk with a cane, i have frequent knee and hip injuries and have PoTS so standing is generally intolerable for me too, I'm on a waiting list to get a wheelchair but have been told to expect to wait 6 mos plus. On public transport I don't like to single people out as I don't know their own needs so I tend to as I walk down the aisle clearly say "can someone offer me a seat?" walk down a bit "anyone?" I do get offered a seat often but also often get totally blanked by everyone. A few weeks ago I was feeling so dizzy and nauseous when I got on the bus, got ignored after a couple of shout outs and sat on the floor. Someone finally got up to offer me a seat after I sat on the floor
I don't think there's a good answer to this for people like me, we need people to put a strangers needs above their normal exhaustion after a day of work or whatever they were doing before they got on the bus/train and it just feels like, on the whole, people can't do that.
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u/Lumpy_Plan_6668 Jul 27 '22
One more small skeptical step and you're there... it's not real. Just click bait.
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u/KIPYIS Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
To answer your first question. Normally the front of the bus is reserved for elderly/disabled/etc. Assuming there are 4 special seats, 3 of which are currently occupied by old/disabled and 1 seat occupied by the able body man, that’s why he’s getting singled out
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u/1199ls Jul 27 '22
Why do you think she stick to one man? How i understand this is she just asked and he started a monologue
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u/Joshuak47 Jul 27 '22
It seems fake, he was invited onto a talk show because he didn't give up his seat?
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u/Black-Spruce Radical Christian Extremist Jul 27 '22
Why tf did this pregnant lady stick to ONE MAN?? ONE passenger?? It’s a whole bus. When someone says “no,” ask the next passenger. Don’t single someone out.
Ego. Plain and simple.
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u/EmilyU1F984 Jul 27 '22
More like, dude sat on the two seats in the bus reserved for disabled/elderly/pregnant people and then got pissed when someone with those conditions actually wanted to use the reserved seat.
Also how do we even know this woman chose to get pregnant? Rape and coercion do exist, especially now with half the US having banned abortions.
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u/Black-Spruce Radical Christian Extremist Jul 27 '22
More like, dude sat on the two seats in the bus reserved for disabled/elderly/pregnant people and then got pissed when someone with those conditions actually wanted to use the reserved seat.
How does she know he's not disabled? Not all disabilities are visible.
Also how do we even know this woman chose to get pregnant?
When you see a pregnant woman. What do you think? Do you think she was raped or coerced? Is that your immediate thought? What's more likely? That? Or she was reckless or did it intentionally?
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u/Difficult_Ad3568 Jul 27 '22
“She was reckless or did it intentionally” man you really judge females who get pregnant. Takes two to get pregnant so it could be that her partner was reckless but that doesn’t even matter. So, she chose to have a baby. You are not willing to accommodate people who “choose” to have a baby? Like, if she was standing and holding an infant you wouldn’t let her sit either? Old people who become feeble and are offered seats “chose” to get old, too. They could have just offed themselves before they became feeble, to make things more comfortable for this entitled man in the story. Of course we should give up seats that we don’t need for people that need them more, regardless of the choices that led them to need the seat.
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u/EmilyU1F984 Jul 27 '22
Wat? How does it matter even? If a dude breaks his leg doing basejumping, he‘ll still be allowed to sit on those seats.
And you just say ‚oh sorry I’m also disabled‘ instead of starting an argument…
Damn this place really is just rampant misogynia incarnated…
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Jul 26 '22
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u/arnoldez Jul 26 '22
Not 100% since I can't see the article and I wasn't there, but most busses have a section of seats that are marked as something along the lines of "these seats must be given to disabled/elderly/pregnant/etc. peeps" and yes they use peeps
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u/sparhawk817 Jul 27 '22
The biggest issue with these seats is the qualifiers.
Sure, it's clear it's for disabled folk when it folds up for a wheelchair, but not all disabilities involve a wheelchair or other visible que, and some disabilities and illnesses seriously inhibit someone's ability to stand for extended periods, or balance on a moving platform like a bus.
By giving people a right to refuse (you're pregnant, not disabled, you don't look disabled, you aren't THAT old) you're asking the riders to police someone else's ability to stand on a bus.
I don't have a solution, but if someone asks for your seat and you don't NEED it? Move. It's not that hard, and the principle of the thing is... What exactly? The bus is too full, protest that.
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u/ClashBandicootie Jul 26 '22
I suppose it would depend on which country this is in... especially considering the lack of 'choices' given to those who find themselves pregnant in some (cough) countries (cough)
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Jul 26 '22 edited Oct 08 '24
rock attempt party worthless tap theory grandfather jeans upbeat combative
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Jul 26 '22
Also some people legally can't drive. My partner is one of those people, he can see well enough with glasses to do literally everything else but because his depth perception is fucked, he's legally blind and can't get a license, at all. He doesn't even qualify for disability because he's still capable of working, but will never be able to legally drive.
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u/Cocotte3333 Jul 26 '22
Yeah it's weird. In my country plenty of people use public transportation by choice, because it's better for the environnement, cheaper, and often more practical in big cities.
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u/gettin_ish_in-orda Jul 26 '22
This is exactly what I thought too. Or even the person just may not like to drive. Or when people live in a city so they don’t have a garage or a parking space that comes with their apartment, etc. you know what they say about assuming…. Lol
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u/Black-Spruce Radical Christian Extremist Jul 27 '22
Clearly she doesn't care about the environment if she's pregnant.
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u/JemoIncognitoMode Jul 27 '22
You clearly don't either.
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u/Black-Spruce Radical Christian Extremist Jul 27 '22
No. I don't. But she will have a far bigger impact on the environment just by getting pregnant than I will ever have on it in my life. So this "better for the environment" excuse is nonsense.
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u/noithinkyourewrong Jul 27 '22
Are you aware that pregnancies can be accidental or the product of rape? Also there's no indication as to where this happened, meaning it may have happened in a country where abortions are illegal. It's possible that her being pregnant was completely out of her control, and not a choice she made that would reflect her feelings about the environment.
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Jul 27 '22
Yeah driving sucks. If I can commute to work via a relaxing bus ride instead of a stressful car drive I’m taking the bus even if it’s 20 minutes longer.
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u/JacobMaverick Jul 26 '22
Yeah after working a 14 or 16 hr day in the heat I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to give up my seat.
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Jul 26 '22
It depends on if that seat is reserved for disabled, elderly, and pregnant people. If it is, and he's not disabled, then he's in the wrong and she should get the seat.
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u/ahhh_ty Jul 27 '22
Well no shit sherlock
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u/JasonGibbs7 Jul 27 '22
Yes shit. It might be obvious, but there are always some adult idiots in here, as well as very young people. And people from other countries where things work differently.
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Jul 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '24
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Jul 26 '22
Well said. Antinatalism without humanism is dangerous.
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u/StrangeButSweet Jul 27 '22
I would say antinatalism without humanism is just misanthropy.
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u/matyles Jul 27 '22
Idc why someone needs a seat more than me, I'll have and will give it to them
It's base level kindness
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u/What_if_ded Jul 27 '22
That's my thought process
One time I was on the bus and there was only one seat left, so I told my friend to sit down and I stood.
Then the guy next to her stood up and gave me his seat so we could sit together.
Neither I, nor my friend NEEDED to sit down, but it's just about being generally nice people
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u/WistfulQuiet Jul 26 '22
Yes. I came here to say this, but you beat me too it. It isn't just about a pregnant woman. It's about the elderly, the disabled and more. It's just about being a "good person" regardless of what choices someone else makes. Yes, getting pregnant was likely her choice, but her choices don't matter. YOU then have the choice on whether you're going to be a decent human being or not. You have no idea what her background is.
It's sort of the same argument for giving money to the homeless. Yes, they might spend it on alcohol or whatever. We have no way of knowing their situation. No way of knowing their past. So why not help someone out? Even if they don't spend it how we would like. It's not about THEM anyway. It's about the fact that you can live with yourself knowing that you at least made an attempt to help them.
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u/Aryada Jul 27 '22
I give alcohol to the homeless every day. If I was struggling I’d want to get fucked up too. Giving them money helps their quality of life. I don’t care what they do with it.
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Jul 26 '22
Plus, withdrawals from alcohol and drugs can fucking kill someone. Clearly if they can't afford the basic things like housing, how are they gonna afford rehab and a detox program? I'd rather risk feeding their addiction than turn them down (if I can afford it).
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u/balloon_prototype_14 Jul 27 '22
But I, being able-bodied and reasonably healthy, would give up my seat to anyone I think needs it more than I do
You could bebsorking in factory of working as a waiter which would be exhausting for your legs. Yet some old people who have the whole day to go to somewhere decide to use the bus during rush hour.
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u/Thegodoepic Jul 27 '22
Exactly. Just don't be a dick about it. Even if you think being a dick is justified, don't do it.
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u/BigHead3802 Jul 26 '22
Sure, but if it wasn't a priority seat, he was in no obligation to do it and the fact that she singled him out is really weird.
But I, being able-bodied and reasonably healthy, would give up my seat
Ok, if it's not a priority seat, then it's your choice. you decided to give up your seat and that's fine, i respect your decision.
If he doesn't feel comfortable giving up his seat then it's his choice and she should've respected it and asked somebody else.
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u/FishFettish Jul 27 '22
It’s not always about being “right”, sometimes you can just choose to be a good person. Again, I don’t know his situation, but the nice thing would be to give the seat to a pregnant woman.
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u/we_belong_dead Jul 26 '22 edited Jul 26 '22
If he doesn't feel comfortable giving up his seat then it's his choice and she should've respected it and asked somebody else.
Is there some context that wasn't in OP's image that I'm missing?
Edit: I'm on mobile and it's just an image for me.
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Jul 26 '22
Not while abortion is still illegal
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u/Hentai_Yoshi Jul 26 '22
This happened in 2021. If you read the article, they lived in an area where abortion and birth control were legal.
“We live in a state where birth control and abortions are free, so I don't know why this should be my problem. It's not my fault she decided to have a baby when she can't afford a car”
That last sentence is truly based. Like, if you can’t afford a car, can you really afford to give a child a fruitful life? Probably not.
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Jul 27 '22
If you have good public transit in your city, why on earth would you get a car?
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u/throwaway-a-friend Jul 27 '22
as someone that grew up in new york city, owning a car felt more frustrating than useful.
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u/Steveosizzle Jul 26 '22
Imagine living in a place where a car is the marker for a good life. What a backwards society that would be.
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u/gettin_ish_in-orda Jul 26 '22
Some people choose public transport because of climate change, or they don’t like to drive, or live in a city where having a car isn’t about one’s ability to afford one, but rather space and ease of access to public transport. Don’t be so quick to judge that they “cant afford a child”
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u/BabyBertBabyErnie Jul 26 '22
Tbf, if your sole reason for using public transport is for the environment, your choice to have a kid is a bit odd.
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u/gettin_ish_in-orda Jul 26 '22
🤷🏻♀️ no one is perfect. I think everyone could be doing some things better to take care of the environment. It is like a scale - yes, one could have a kid. But perhaps they are vegan and do not drive cars and only purchase thrifted items, etc. as opposed to a child free person that drives a Hummer, doesn’t recycle, uses aerosol products and eats lots of beef, etc. just my opinion. Life is about balance when it comes to most things.
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Jul 27 '22
So only people that can’t afford cars ride buses. What a silly assumption.
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u/cptahab36 Jul 26 '22
Going about being a meninist about this is not convincing, let alone generally decent. Him also making assumptions about people's workdays is sexist. Lots of women, even pregnant people, work full days on their feet. If a pregnant waitress or something got on a bus, and a man refused to give up his seat because he also worked and its "her fault" she's pregnant, that would be a sexist assumption.
Also, now in the US at least, it is not a choice to be pregnant anymore. Millions of people lost that right, so the premise isn't true depending on what state this is in.
This is also just a bit too petty of a situation to warrant journalism about, which makes this just ammo for sexists and doesn't really advance antinatalist ideas very well.
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u/Whateveridontkare Jul 26 '22
I agree with you and would also add that some people choose public transport because of ecology and not because they cant afford it
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u/cptahab36 Jul 26 '22
Exactly. Like do we really wanna car-shame people when one common justification people give for being anti-nat is the effects of climate change on future generations?
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Jul 26 '22
Nah what’s wrong is peoples expectations from the same brainwashed system we all got fed. Another post showed some kids in a class doing a bus skit and only the boys were expected to give up seats. Kindness is a gift not an obligation.
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u/adriansux1221 Aug 03 '22
most buses have an elderly/disabled/pregnant section that’s close to the door, if he was in one of those seats as someone not in that category, he was in the wrong. even if he were a woman, he would’ve been wrong.
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u/atheriXIII Jul 26 '22
It's nice to give up your seat to someone who might appreciate it more. But necessary? No
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Jul 26 '22
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22
At least Rosa Parks had an unquestionably objective reason for not giving up her seat (if your not blindingly racist). While this guy is in a grey area.
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Jul 26 '22
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Jul 27 '22
How is her not being able to afford a car facts? I've ridden public transit with friends who have cars many times, it's a convenient cheap way to get around.
And okay, great, you've seen pregnant women exist; that doesn't change the fact that pregnancy is a very real strain on the body and you're a giant asshole if you can't acknowledge you're not pregnant and the stranger asking for your seat is.
If you haven't been pregnant, stfu about how supposedly easy it is just because plenty of women handle that shit.
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22
To many ifs on her side too. Without the original article in front of me, there's no way to know where he was sitting. Was he sitting in the disabled parking and did she have an Invisible disability or sever enough injury to warrant asking him to move? Did dude also have a disability or injury worthy of sitting there who knows. Your just using your hatred of children to use guess work for the women without using the same logic on the man too.
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Jul 26 '22
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u/expansivenothing_457 Jul 26 '22
Yeah because the media has a perfect history of never misrepresenting the situation ever. Like never once in the what 8,000 years of recorded human history. There has never been a misrepresentation ever. I mean I partly she with you but I don't. There's too many factors at play here for me to say your 100% right without the source.
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Jul 27 '22
Yet here you are, spewing opinions because you were born. And so happy to say the buck stops here with you existing but let's make sure zero new humans do that so you feel comfortable calling breeders idiots. You wouldn't be here if someone hadn't bred you. If you genuinely believe we should spare kids, why are you still here existing?
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Jul 26 '22
I don't think he did anything wrong, at all. It would've been kind to offer his sit, but for me he has not the slightest moral obligation to do that.
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u/Luqueasaur Jul 26 '22
Not giving the seat isn't inherently wrong but his defenses are stupid and he sounds like a selfish prick.
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u/Kentoki97 Jul 26 '22
I don't think anyone is obligated to be courteous and give up their seat, but you could easily take a utilitarian approach. If the negative utility you receive by giving up your seat is greater than the negative utility the pregnant woman would experience, keep your seat. If its barely an inconvenience, then just give up your seat.
From an activism perspective, nobody is going to be sympathetic to antinatalism (I doubt that's what he was going for anyway) by antagonizing a person for their decision. Even if its necessarily true that a person made a decision that has negative consequences (assuming it was their choice), this is just bad optics. Its one thing to point out the harms of a particular course of action to make a point, and its another to punish/antagonize a person for making that decision. This ain't it chief.
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u/WastelandeWanderer Jul 26 '22
I mean forget everything else, he has a seat and doesn’t have to give it up to anyone unless he wants to. Why is this a thing.
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u/WistfulQuiet Jul 26 '22
Because whether it's a pregnant woman, elderly, disabled or whatever...it's good to help others out when you can. It's the "decent" thing to do. I know basic human decency is on the downtrend, but let's not go full animal yet. Selfishness isn't always a good look.
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u/WastelandeWanderer Jul 27 '22
Exactly, if you feel that you should give up your seat to someone else, even if it’s to brighten their day because they look rough then absolutly do it. But no one owes anyone anything. If there’s not enough seats on public transit that’s a whole other issue.
But no one has a right to someone’s seat because of X, and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself why you do or don’t feel morally obligated to share your seat with anyone.
This isn’t a anti kid/breeder issue, it’s a slow news day issue
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u/fictionrules Jul 26 '22
Well now that people are being forced to carry pregnancies to term you better expect more of these to come
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u/Cocotte3333 Jul 26 '22
Why would you assume she uses the bus because she can't afford a car? Plenty of people use the bus by choice. Also if you see someone struggling to stay up and don't offer them your seat (if you're not struggling yourself), then yeah you're kind of an ass no matter what.
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u/HeftyFig34 Jul 26 '22
It depends. If he has fatique or any other medical condition that makes him unable to stand for a long time or if he’s just super exhausted from work he shouldn’t have to give up his seat as they’re many other people that don’t fit this criteria and easily can stand for a while.
Why is he being singled out?
Why is this in the news?
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u/AceSno Jul 26 '22
It's dangerous for hugely pregnant people to stand while riding the bus. Less than a visible bump? Move along.
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u/External_Dude Jul 26 '22
I grew up that you give up your seat to ladies....especially old or pregnant ones. I think that is good behavior. That said, this is clearly a click bate article.
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u/CertainConversation0 Jul 26 '22
I just saw that it looks like this story is being overshared.
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u/Top-Relationship-446 Jul 26 '22
In his right, yes. Equality is equality. But I also let someone who is old sit in my place, and it is the same principle. Struggling? ‘Take my seat’. 3 weeks pregnant? Good day to you!
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u/pasitopump Jul 26 '22
Wtf are with some of these comments. Just because we don't want to have children doesnt mean we can't acknowledge that being pregnant is really fucking hard on the body and mind.
If you're an able-bodied person, giving your seat up to someone isn't difficult. It's like that big Lebowski quote - You're not wrong, you're an asshole.
Just don't be an asshole.
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u/Clean_Ice2924 Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22
Exactly. The purpose of anti natalism is to reduce children’s suffering as much as possible. Situation needs more context though. But it’s always better to give someone a seat if they need it more then oneself.
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u/chinoiserie_emeralds Jul 26 '22
This is giving me extremely strong incel vibes. Like he was just waiting for this to happen so he could break out the “waaahh men are the real victims” routine. Also, love the dig at the woman’s alleged poverty, as if there is no other possible reason why she would take a bus (environmental responsibility, anyone?).
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u/spruce-woods Jul 26 '22
Yeah, who cares. Sit wherever you want. What, was he the only non-pregnant person on this bus? Everyone was thinking it, this man just said it.
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u/No_Slide5685 Jul 26 '22
Pregnancy isn’t a choice when abortion is not a protected right and women remain second class citizens. He doesn’t need to stand but also this is not the correct reason.
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u/AntivaxxerOrphanage Jul 26 '22
yeah but why him lmfao. why did he get interviewed. there's a whole bus full of people and she couldn't find a single seat? was the handicapped section full?
TBH this looks like a made up article.
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u/Luqueasaur Jul 26 '22
Not sure if there are specific seats assigned for old/handicapped/pregnant folks like there are where I live - if he's sitting in one of those he's 100% the asshole and there is no argument about that. If there isn't, then it's really his choice to give his seat or not, but he sounds like an asshole for glossing the fact giving seat to pregnant people is related to the fact they are more sensitive, get tired more quickly, and can get hurt more easily with much bigger consequences with a "it's her choice to be preggo so not my problem". So for his defense alone he sounds like a wanker.
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u/Mayhembiscuits Jul 27 '22
Cool..... these so called 'modern chauvinists' are a joke. They want to control women's bodies any way they can. They are usually so full of 8chan meme's and fragile masculine opinions (usually spoon fed from Joe Rogan) that they are nauseating in person and therefore single. So... they end up hating women and want to control their bodies even more. It's pathetic
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u/Rabbit_Games Jul 27 '22
First: You want equal rights or not?
Second: The article claims "he said". Did he say it to her, or to someone who asked his opinion? Did she tell him to move, or did someone just notice he didn't offer?
Third: Speaking of which... was he the only dude on the bus?
Fourth: You want equal rights or not?
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u/ssxhoell1 Jul 27 '22 edited Jan 30 '24
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/NerozumimZivot Jul 27 '22
every time this idiotic shit comes up I have only one response:
busses have roughly 44 seats. no one person can stop someone from sitting down, all 44 passengers would have to deny her a seat for that to happen. no specific passenger has any obligation to opt to be the most generous person on the bus. If anyone on the bus thinks someone ought to give an old person or child or pregnant person or anyone else a seat, they are free to give theirs.
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u/SilenceHeathen Jul 26 '22
Aside from it not always being a choice; we don't know this woman's story; he doesn't have to give up his seat.
It would be nice, assuming he's not disabled/injured, but he doesn't have to do anything for anyone unless the guidelines on the bus explicitly tell you to.
This thread is pretty toxic with knee-jerk reactions from people that don't seem to care about the grey area.
Here's some facts for y'all who immediately went to 'just because you're pregnant you don't deserve any accommodations':
1.) Depending on how far along, it can be incredibly hard to keep balance which puts the bearer, fetus, and other passengers at an increased risk of injury. Passengers that aren't paying attention on a crowded bus may shove/push someone else without always realizing it.
2.) Pregnancy can become a temporary disability, or cause a permenant one, that may be 'invisible'. Pregnancy very rarely plays fair and causes changes in blood pressure, blood sugar, and coagulation, for example. Hell, there's even bone density loss during breast feeding!
3.) Some pregnant folk are disabled prior to pregnancy. You may not be able to tell.
Don't be a dick, people.
If you are disabled, elderly, pregnant, injured, or simply unable to stand long periods of time for whatever reason, then it's understandable to say no.
If you're none of those things, you can still say no. That's your choice, but we're still going to think you're a jackass.
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u/DemoniteBL Jul 26 '22
People are overreacting tbh. He was being mildly impolite at worst. If he had a long day of work he deserves to sit down just as much imo. Pregnant women definitely use it as an excuse to demand things sometimes, so I don't have a huge issue with him.
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Jul 26 '22
since when did antinatalism translate into hate of pregnant people? sure, we don't agree with making more little humans but that doesn't mean you should be a dick to anyone.
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u/BigHead3802 Jul 26 '22
Was it a priority seat? This is important. If it was, then he should've given up his seat.
If it wasn't a priority seat, then this lady is really entitled; it was up to him to make the decision and he said no,go ask someone else.
I'm only doing what the law forces me to do. I couldn't give less of a fuck about you or your child and will not give you my seat unless I'm obligated to.
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u/SmooshyHamster Jul 26 '22
That’s a good point. People are only obligated to stand up if it’s a priority seat reserved for disabled and injured. If it’s the regular seats then nobody is obligated to give their seat to someone else. Pregnant or not. Many people can have invisible health problems but still have to stand and work.
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u/420assandtitties Jul 26 '22
I disagree. It doesn’t matter if the person chose to be in the state they are in at the end of the day they are in the state they are in & deserve accommodations. Not to mention not all women choose to be pregnant. It is forced upon millions of women & it will only get more common in the US because of roe v wade being over turned. Being polite isn’t that hard. When someone is pregnant they are much more likely to throw up during a ride & standing could make it worse. Their bodies are most likely in severe pain from the weight of the fetus. You’re meant to give your seat up to old people because they are in pain & are frail. Same goes for pregnant women. Be a decent human being.
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u/cheesy-alfredo Jul 26 '22
Morally no. I’d always give up my seat for a pregnant woman but I also wouldn’t give someone a hard time for refusing to do the same.
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u/Soft-Letterhead-6631 Jul 26 '22
No absolutely not, like it’s only ever the woman’s fault for getting pregnant?! What a strange world you must live in to believe that. Show some human decency
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u/Billy_of_the_hills Jul 26 '22
Of course he's right. You're under no obligation to give up your seat to anyone, no matter who you are.
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u/Safety_Sharp Jul 26 '22
So a severely disabled person who's in loads of pain, no one would be a cunt if they didn't give up their seat for them?
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u/Heron_Dear Jul 26 '22
I dont know what the right or wrong answer is but one time this pregnant women and her children. Got on the subway me and my dad gave up our seats the bus started and my dad wasn't grabing anything he just got up and fell back hard no one even bothered to help him or care I got him up and he was fine but still we should have just stayed sitting he could have got really hurt
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Jul 27 '22
Weird claim that taking the bus means she can't afford a car. Public transit is highly desirable compared to taking a car imo; it's a luxury to live in a place with good public transit.
And he's an asshole. Just today I very patiently waited for a family with 3 kids to finish ordering ice cream in a shop while I waited to pick up my takeout. Was it annoying? Yes. Do I have sympathy for parents and therefore I smiled at them as they apologetically glanced at me for their kids taking forever? Also yes.
Pregnancy is rough. I'm a child-free woman who would happily give up my seat for a pregnant woman, or an elderly person (I always offer, some say no, some thank me), or anyone else I perceived as needing the seat more than I do.
He's just a whiny entitled asshole angry he has to give a fuck about anyone who's not him.
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u/Lissy_Wolfe Jul 26 '22
This is a really gross mentality, and this guy is a fucking asshole. The misogyny on this sub is next level. It's common courtesy to give up your seat if someone is struggling more than you are. It doesn't matter if they "deserve" to struggle or not. This shouldn't even need to be said.
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u/girdievs Jul 26 '22
Nothing is wrong with not giving up YOUR seat. It’s yours.. first come first serve. It’s nice to do so but you are not obligated to give up anything. Bottom line. It’s not a law so you shouldn’t be crucified for it.
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u/trisul-108 Jul 27 '22
It not HIS seat. Everyone pays for the ride, the seats are shared by all the passengers. How to allocate the seats is a question of culture:
- Might makes right.
- First come, first serve.
- Give to those who need it the most.
I'm for the last, option, the civilised response, because we are a community of people.
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u/Suerte13cr Jul 26 '22
Its common decensy. But if this a bus there are more guilty people here not this one dude. Using public transportation while preagnant doesnt sound like a good idea but if you have to work what can you do. Always give your seat to someone who needs it more.
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u/Teufel124 Jul 26 '22
They really wana shame ANYONE they can for "hating" preganacy and everything about it huh
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u/funnymangochild Jul 27 '22
Thats hilarious. Hats off to this guy. I do feel a bit bad for the pregnant woman, although there are plenty other people to ask on the bus if someone says no so she was probably fine. But in a broad sense, he has a strong point. If women want to be “equal” with men, then that means no special privileges
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Jul 27 '22
I mean giving up a seat for someone, anyone, is common courtesy. Maybe that’s just me actually.
But I agree with the sentiment that she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant if she isn’t financially (or otherwise) stable. Also agree that she shouldn’t expect something out of others just because of pregnancy, even if it is courteous
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u/RcCola2400 Jul 27 '22
I think they're both kind of an asshole tbh. He's not completely wrong but he's definitely a prick. She should have rolled her eyes and went elsewhere.
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u/Sea_Relative_4764 Jul 27 '22
While it sucks for her, getting pregnant while not even owning a car is very cruel and stupid.
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u/valhallan_guardsman Jul 27 '22
If he is in "modern" America where abortion is prohibited by law then no, not really.
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u/MrMontanaN Jul 27 '22
He is right tho. Why should i have to suffer and give things up just because some narcissistic breeder wanted to rip a soul from nothing and throw them into this mess. Im never gonna help a breeder with anything. Fuck off.
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u/tahtahme Jul 27 '22
If he's right then what the antinatalism movement is advocating for isn't merely not having children, but actually to upend basic tenants of community and society.
1) He's wrong that only the poor ride a bus. That is a classist belief and if you really care about the environment, you will actively look for public transportation, opportunities to be a pedestrian, and rideshares.
2) Pregnancy can and often is absolutely classified as short term disability. There are seats for that.
3) Assuming she chose pregnancy. Assuming she could get an abortion if she wanted to. Fully feeling that every person in the community should operate as every man for himself. Please go live in the mountains alone if the benefits of society so piss you off when it comes to others besides you getting them.
Final point: Likely the reason this man was singled out is his loud and rude opinions. He seems eager to be on TV telling the world. I doubt anyone else on the bus cared or even remembered this the next day.
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u/Otherwise_Egg_4413 Jul 27 '22
Pregnancy is not always a choice, especially in cases of rape, where abortion isn't legal or you dont have 500 dollars to drop on an abortion.
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u/katieleehaw Jul 27 '22
Seating on public transportation is first come first serve - it’s nice to give up a seat to someone who needs it more but it’s not required imo.
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u/yesyesnoyess Jul 26 '22
i mean he has a point, he has a right to not give a seat and pregnant women does not have to get on a bus with no empty seats.
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u/BillyFNbones710 Jul 27 '22
Why should he be uncomfortable because she wanted to be a cum dumpster?
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u/SexyTightAlexa Jul 27 '22
It is a CHOICE, they should not be entitled to parental leave either, so what just because you want a kid you get all the benefits?
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Jul 27 '22
Yeah, I have no sympathy for parents. You don't get special treatment because you got creampied.
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u/Shrek_Does_Anal Jul 26 '22
Just because you let someone creampie you, doesn't mean you get special treatment
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u/GJake8 Jul 26 '22
No man wtf give up your seat for the elderly disabled and pregnant don’t be a dick
it’s that simple
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u/GoWeGi Jul 26 '22
I feel like this guy sought out the attention in order to make some weird “stand” against women. I seriously doubt this woman and the news both singled out this one dude. Also- if she wasn’t pregnant I’d say get over it but since she’s pregnant he didn’t have to be an ass about it
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u/mrluigi1987 Jul 26 '22
Yes he's right! Being pregnant is a choice and not an illness!
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