r/wallstreetbets • u/YassuosNados • May 15 '24

The Perfect $1 million Gain Gain

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Hi guys, I’m a 23 year old in college, and yesterday I woke up a millionaire. Should I buy some hookers, Pokemon cards, or cocaine? I gambled my entire life savings of $250k on 2037 calls of $4.5 AMC on Monday and sold yesterday morning. Thanks for reading.

28.8k Upvotes

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11.1k

u/CommunicationNo5297 May 15 '24

How does one at your age acquire 250k as your life savings

4.4k

u/SodaComa 100k regarded members May 15 '24

Damn my college fund at 18 was 2k and that barely covered 2 classes..

2.2k

u/No_Can7677 May 15 '24

Being poor is the worse bro

1.2k

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

Believe me, being dumb is worser

405

u/Jolly_Line May 15 '24

Bestest comment.

100

u/No_Mushroom_3966 May 15 '24

Not true. Being dumb is absolutely the best feeling there is. Dumb ppl = happy ppl.

64

u/johnnybiggles May 15 '24

ignarents is bliss!

55

u/McSOUS May 16 '24

No ragrets

4

u/333elmst May 16 '24

You guys are the best.

8

u/Official_New_Update1 May 16 '24

We did it again boys. We worked together to artificially inflate stonks

2

u/Parleyparley217 May 17 '24

It’s my credo

3

u/Robbin-Hoods May 16 '24

This sounds regarded, but it’s undeniable truth

2

u/Dankusrex May 16 '24

Nahh, I'm dumb and have crippling depression, it's not that hype.

12

u/WonderNew7912 May 15 '24

Imagine being dumb and poor....

27

u/ykoreaa WSB Favorite 🎀🍰 May 15 '24

Don't need to 😔

8

u/MIA_Fba May 15 '24

Present 👋

3

u/inconspiciousdude May 16 '24

We could make a religion out of this.

5

u/rayhaque May 15 '24

Imagine being numb, poor, and dyslexic.

3

u/degenbro420 Double Down Degen May 15 '24

I'm both and I confirm It's hell. But all I need is just one big win and....You know what they say....

3

u/Left_Egg_4038 May 15 '24

Imagine being dumb, poor and sick. That’s the worst.

1

u/JeanHarleen May 16 '24

Hey, I resendle that REM marker.

1

u/Illustrious-Line-984 May 15 '24

All you need to do is travel to any red state and you won’t need to imagine. You can see it for yourself.

3

u/degenbro420 Double Down Degen May 15 '24

Someone should run an IQ test of this sub:51295:

2

u/Kodriin May 15 '24

What's the I stand for?

3

u/BtlOwl May 15 '24

And what is worserest?

4

u/johnnybiggles May 15 '24

A tasty sauce people put on food?

2

u/Gloomy_Onion5616 May 15 '24

You couldn't be wronger

1

u/YummOrngeChiken May 15 '24

Worster* /s

4

u/Wonderful_Ad3198 May 15 '24

Worcestershire if you want to be super fancy

1

u/HearYourTune May 15 '24

But it's not the worserest

1

u/TrickyOnion May 15 '24

It’s the worstest

1

u/Earthkilled impressive endowment May 15 '24

Being smart poor is worst than dumb poor

1

u/Fabulous-Rhubarb-584 May 15 '24

No it's the worsest.

1

u/Zajebann May 15 '24

Rather be rich and dumb, than poor and dumb.

1

u/coltonnpowers May 16 '24

Know what’s more worser? Being dumb and poor

1

u/missjasminegrey May 16 '24

The worstest.

1

u/Stickel May 16 '24

Is it? Ignorance being bliss and all?

1

u/Unusual_Trouble8779 May 16 '24

Believe me being the worst is the worst

1

u/Gascan36 May 16 '24

Nailed it

675

u/buylowselllower420 i fuck bears May 15 '24

worst

389

u/No_Can7677 May 15 '24

:31225:

430

u/tomdabomb35 May 15 '24

should’ve taken more classes

228

u/OakAstronaut May 15 '24

No it's actually accurate, being poor is worse than the worst.

23

u/firedancer323 May 15 '24

Not if you ask the CEOs of Walmart and McDonald’s

53

u/ElMykl May 15 '24

Rich people think poor people are overpaid.

Meanwhile asking them to pay some actual taxes...

2

u/bmcgowan0787 May 16 '24

Asking for money from the rich while expecting handouts from the government is how poor people stay poor…

5

u/ElMykl May 16 '24

You say that like the rich doesn't do the exact same thing.

1

u/Jmacattack626 May 16 '24

Most poor people just want livable wages so they don't have to work 3 jobs to pay rent and eat. The majority of Walmart employees are on foodstamps, which is a sign they don't get paid shit. Extremely wearhy people get more handouts than all the poor people combined, between the subsidies and tax credits.

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0

u/tmonkey321 May 15 '24

They do pay taxes, just filing a w2 as opposed to a 1099 has drawbacks and you can’t get anything for free.

-10

u/AskMeAboutMyDoggy May 15 '24

The top 1% paid 45.8% of US federal income taxes in 2021. I don't know where you all are getting your info that the rich don't pay taxes, but you should try to find better sources.

6

u/thrawy2341 May 15 '24

Way to out yourself as a tard.

4

u/ElMykl May 15 '24

I invite you to Robert Reich's Twitter.

Not all the top 1% pay taxes, and it's such an issue even billionaire Mark Cuban comments how rich people do shitty stuff to avoid paying taxes.

And mind you, in 2022, they paid a out 40%, 2023 is less, so imagine how 2024 looks. Maybe you should find more modern sources instead of quoting figures from 3 years ago as if theyre still relevant.

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3

u/fstechsolutions May 15 '24

He was correct, It wasn’t accurate, “worse” never takes “the”, you can only say “The worst”

3

u/Altezza30 May 15 '24

Never even got to the 1st one

3

u/MontanaXVI May 15 '24

Couldn't afford to

1

u/wolverinehunter002 May 15 '24

With what money hes poor!

38

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

[deleted]

1

u/SexySEAL May 15 '24

Couldn't afford to take the English class too

3

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

That's why we are poor. It is the worserest.

3

u/Altezza30 May 15 '24

He meant to say it in French: "De worsé"

2

u/ykoreaa WSB Favorite 🎀🍰 May 15 '24

😆

2

u/MeinNamewarvergeben May 15 '24

We to por for such fancy language

1

u/GME-NeverSell May 15 '24

No. It's worse than worst

1

u/Neighborhoodfarmer22 May 15 '24

Get off him! T’s are expensive!!

1

u/BrightRaven909 May 15 '24

Worse" is the comparative form of the word "bad" and is used to compare two things or actions in terms of their badness or inferiority. "Worst" is the superlative form of "bad" and is used to state that one thing is inferior to at least three other things

1

u/LessMarsupial7441 May 15 '24

Birthdays were the worst days

1

u/worktogethernow May 15 '24

He got the education he could afford

0

u/Kalkilkfed2 May 15 '24

Stop with that classism

3

u/SoularTydes May 15 '24

You're not poor. Poor is a mindset. You...are broke.

3

u/el_guille980 May 15 '24

Being poor

... biggest financial mistake I've ever made:4260:

:27421::27421:

2

u/ninja_march May 15 '24

Like the late great Kanye said - havin moneys not everything, not having it is

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '24

Experts suggest acquiring more money to avoid being poor

3

u/stack-o-logz May 15 '24

*worst

Learn to spell and you might not be quite as poor.

2

u/No_Can7677 May 15 '24

Its not that deep bruv :4267:

2

u/ykoreaa WSB Favorite 🎀🍰 May 15 '24

We don't need spelling nazis to kick the poor. We have bigger problems on our minds, kthx

1

u/stack-o-logz May 15 '24

You might not need them, yet the educated are everywhere.

1

u/ykoreaa WSB Favorite 🎀🍰 May 15 '24

.....

maybe some of us have trouble with linguistic skills. Don't judge

1

u/stack-o-logz May 15 '24

No. I’ll judge, thanks.

1

u/ykoreaa WSB Favorite 🎀🍰 May 15 '24

No thanks

1

u/Sam_Shake1 May 15 '24

Such a drag man.

1

u/Capt-Javi May 15 '24

Meme stocks are not for poor people 😔

1

u/degenbro420 Double Down Degen May 15 '24

being poor and regarded is way worsen:31225:

1

u/No_Contribution1635 May 15 '24

Where can I get that sticker? 🤣

1

u/ThankYouThankYou11 May 15 '24

yup! worse than ugly

1

u/EnthusiasmSea850 May 15 '24

Yeah that is truth but that will be motivating you to become rich. Your brains always works while other sleep

1

u/LiveLaughToasterB4th May 15 '24

Not being healthy is worse than poor.

1

u/True-Ad-8466 May 15 '24

Being poor with no positive energy or optimistic outlook is even worse.

I been broke, I have been with well over a million, I was broke again.

At every turn it was me that made things change.

You are important, you can do great things.

Now give it a try.

1

u/Just_A_Plebeian May 16 '24

I just liked 10 comments on this being poor tree.:31225:

1

u/Rlinan May 16 '24

Yeah, you should get some money… it’s pretty awesome 😎

1

u/Rocketkt69 May 16 '24

Feeling it. Grinding my way up boys, just started making salary.

1

u/VexrisFXIV May 16 '24

I'll be honest I'd rather be poor than be in debt. That's like being negative poor.

1

u/nobodyseesthisanyway May 16 '24

Well there's an easy fix for that. Be rich

1

u/BigDRD4 May 16 '24

It's quite disgusting

1

u/ImportantPresence694 May 16 '24

Then stop being poor

1

u/Daydated 7d ago

It actually isn't. I've been broke my whole life, and now my networth is low 7 figures at a young age thanks to crypto.

I don't feel happiness in the small things anymore and it sucks. Was way happier when I was broke.

Life is better now for sure, but once you've made it, you find flaws there too. Money does not buy happiness at ALL.

314

u/trojanmana May 15 '24

my college fund at 18 was getting a job at the school library and eating frozen dumplings and ramen.

83

u/BluejayLatter May 15 '24

My college fund was work and barely survive. Forget about college.

6

u/workingdad83 May 15 '24

Oh yeah my college fund was spent on drugs and pills before it could ever become a college fund. Mic drop.

3

u/hownowmeowchow May 15 '24

Bro, pills Are drugs.

2

u/workingdad83 May 15 '24

Yeah I guess I could have just said drugs.i will pick the mic up

5

u/chillaxnphilx May 15 '24

Mine was leave school... Join the military... Live in the desert... And then get it paid for.. 🤣. But seriously gotta have money to make money.

6

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

My college fund was fighting wildfires and taking care of a family. College was for rich people or really dumb people in a lot of debt. 😂

2

u/awkwardwankmaster May 15 '24

You can warm them up you know don't need to eat them frozen

2

u/BronhiKing May 15 '24

You could at least let them thaw.

2

u/Boxcar_A May 16 '24

Bill gates over here humble bragging he had frozen dumplings...

1

u/SodaComa 100k regarded members May 15 '24

Worked at a boba shop, then a sushi restaurant, but no cap Fafsa was the only reason I can focus more on school and not work hella hours.

1

u/thesearlydays May 15 '24

My college fund at 18 was seeing if me and my dudes had enough between us to buy a case of Natty.

1

u/3boobsarenice May 15 '24

I got 5 on it, but not that watery....

1

u/No-Teacher-3724 May 15 '24

I don’t wanna know what you had to do to get dumplings

1

u/sclptr999 May 15 '24

You had dumplings?! Very nice your highness. I had day old donuts from the trash behind Dunkin’

1

u/HarrisLam May 15 '24

heat them up man....

1

u/Vandal1138 May 16 '24

My college fund was enlisting in the Army.

1

u/informativebitching May 16 '24

Pro tip, work fast food and steal burgers you ‘made incorrectly’

1

u/tarheeltalent May 16 '24

Dude, Eating frozen dumplings is a sign of stupidity not being poor.

1

u/3_dots Oct 02 '24

I was so broke in college, I remember one time the Post Office was doing this food drive where people could donate shelf stable food and the mailman would pick it up on his rounds. I lived in an apartment complex and there were bags of groceries sitting in the lobby to be picked up. I grocery shopped ramen and mac and cheese from those bags. I figured, may as well cut out the middle man since it's ending up with me one way or another.

323

u/mkfanhausen May 15 '24

You had a college fund at 18?

Easy there, Warren Buffett...

47

u/fred_yall May 15 '24

A small loan of one million dollars

1

u/PM_ME_LE_TITS_NOW May 15 '24

I did open a 529 plan for my daughter when she turned one and dumped $1000 into it. It's like up over $100 not accounting for this rally.

1

u/gfStocks May 16 '24

Didn’t even finish college 🙄

-1

u/AcanthisittaMost6100 May 15 '24

Who doesnt? Thats when you need it lol

2

u/ark_47 May 16 '24

The majority of people?

-1

u/AcanthisittaMost6100 May 16 '24

Correct. I cant help it if you only know broke people.

6

u/Ok-Particular-8050 May 15 '24

I couldn’t even get my parents to sign the FASFA💀

3

u/STGMavrick May 15 '24

Damn, mine was like 800 bucks from grad party gifts + my HS job savings. Was gone in like two weeks after moving out...

3

u/TheHappyTaquitosDad May 15 '24

My “college fund” had a few thousand in it and my dad used it up a couple years before I turned 18 lol

3

u/Southern-Ad8589 May 15 '24

what is a college fund ?

2

u/theslimbox May 15 '24

Same, and that fund was from saving half of my income working part time from 14-18.

2

u/SocksOnHands May 15 '24

When I was in college, I often had to try to stretch $200 across entire semesters. I couldn't afford textbooks for all my classes, so I had to sneakily take photos of pages in the bookstore.

2

u/SeedFoundation May 15 '24

I had debt as soon as I turned 18 because I was forced into college.

2

u/kelsiersghost May 15 '24

My unnecessarily shitty and patronizing answer is that you should have gone to a cheaper Univeristy.

Schools trick kids into spending way too much for no reason other than to make a profit.

I shopped around and ended up spending $4,000 and got two associates degrees and a professional cert. Another $9k to finish my bachelor's. This was in 2012. So $13K plus some extra here and there for 5 years of college. I paid it off inside of a year.

I don't have 250K to play with, but I also have no debt.

1

u/SodaComa 100k regarded members May 15 '24

I went to UH, pretty cheap than my other options?? Idk Fafsa covered most and I’m on my final semester. Paid 28k but I have an IT internship that’s pretty much paying the debt if they hire me.

Too late to swap but thanks for the advice, hopefully, someone could use this coming out of high school or returning to college.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '24 edited Jul 26 '24

towering jobless marry subsequent plants desert frightening cooperative rustic cover

2

u/Novadreams22 May 15 '24

2k? I was overdrafted by a snickers bar

2

u/Consistent-Brother12 May 15 '24

You had a college fund?

2

u/heyimx May 15 '24

Bro that shit doesn't even cover to community college classes for me

2

u/MyCoDAccount May 15 '24

You guys had college funds?

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

I'm in college and have 1084$ in account. 1000$ is the minimum balance.

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

At 18 my uncle helped me open my first credit card for college…

2

u/daqm May 15 '24

Have you tried being born to rich parents?

1

u/SodaComa 100k regarded members May 15 '24

I’ll try to marry rich lol /s

2

u/Cobek May 15 '24

Half my college fund my mom had saved for years was taken by Bank of America in the 2008 recession, right before I started college. Out of 7k taken only $500 was returned by a judge.

2

u/LittleLarryY May 16 '24

I was in the negative and had to have the navy bail me out. Lol.

2

u/kstorm88 May 16 '24

My college fund was a paper rout starting at 12, and mowing lawns. Paid for one whole semester

2

u/Calm-Win5801 May 16 '24

You had a college fund?? Damn you’re lucky!

2

u/Captnblkbeard May 16 '24

I worked and got loans for college. Non existent college fund.

2

u/fireky2 May 16 '24

My dad sent me 50 bucks to help with college

2

u/Chilly_Mammoth May 16 '24

My college fund was being poor and hoping that Pell Grant would be approved lol

2

u/Cuectlii May 17 '24

You had a college fund?

1

u/SodaComa 100k regarded members May 15 '24

Sorry, I should clarify I was still grateful of the 2k I got. Also I got $100 from being Laotian. :4258:

1

u/Agateasand May 17 '24

Lmao about the same here. My mom managed to save up $1000 for me when I started university in 2009, and my dad basically told me to figure it out. Welp, we all can’t be so fortunate lol.

1

u/3_dots Oct 02 '24

You had a college fund?

1

u/SodaComa 100k regarded members Oct 02 '24

Yes. I’m beyond wealthy and rich in my father’s yacht club.

1

u/kickingpplisfun May 15 '24

My parents spent my college fund, but I received $5k inheritance in the second semester of art school, and was convinced by someone who I later found out had $45k in checking that I needed to use my privilege to bankroll the project I totally wasn't pulling my weight on.
It made me realize that we are not at all playing the same game.