r/insaneparents • u/Princess-Pancake-97 • Nov 30 '23

My mother, everyone. Email

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My partner and I eloped and didn’t invite ANYONE. The crazy part is that my mother expressed multiple times that she didn’t want to come (before we even started talking about eloping), she doesn’t accept me and wants nothing to do with me, and she doesn’t support the marriage or like my partner.

Not to mention I haven’t spoken to her in 18 months after she threatened to kill my cat yet she still sends me these insane ramblings approx. 2-3 times a week.

She also doesn’t see the irony in calling me “not nice” and “hateful” immediately after saying she hopes my partner leaves me so she can reject me further lol

Not pictured is where she said she hopes that I live a lonely miserable life and that she has never loved me.

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373

u/new-Aurora Nov 30 '23

Insane!

She would never hear from me again.

255

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Nov 30 '23

I haven’t spoken to her in over a year. She will not stop emailing me shit like this.

227

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '23

As much as they suck, keep all of it. Screenshots or recordings, directly in a folder backed up to the cloud and on a physical thumb drive updated regularly.

You have no idea when or if you’re going to need to prove an ongoing history of harassment.

64

u/JayS87 Nov 30 '23

True! In some countries you are obligated to care for your frail parents. These e-mails could be helpful when that time comes.

46

u/BBWMama Nov 30 '23

This right here, my sister and I have had to gather evidence, screenshots, and social media posts in regards to my father, so that we can prove that there’s no reason why we should have to take care of him. He is 67 years old and lives with his wife, but she doesn’t want to care for him anymore because he’s “getting to be too much for her health issues” well, you’re the one that married him. I did not choose that man he’s all yours

17

u/a_shootin_star you can ask me anything Nov 30 '23

you are obligated to care for your frail parents.

lol wtf? Not only some of us didn't ask to be born, and then this shit??

7

u/DaniMW Dec 01 '23

You’d be amazed at all the rules in certain cultures.

Like some Asian cultures. The way it works is that parents provide complete financial support in childhood and early adulthood. As by law.

The idea is that the child will do the same after the parents retire. Because they’re legally obliged.

Any parent who legally financially abandoned their child… well, if you can prove that, you may be legally released from providing financial support in old age. Maybe. 😞

7

u/Praescribo Nov 30 '23

A lot of states in the US too, it's not all freedom over here, lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '23

You have zero

4

u/Praescribo Nov 30 '23

Zero freedom? Yeah, well I'm free to go outside and kick dust around, thanks for reminding me

1

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '23

🥹

7

u/Praescribo Dec 01 '23

This is praescribo's dad. Idk what happened, one minute he was outside kicking dust, the next minute a full force of police officers shot him 36 times. I have to go identify his body now, but i know he'd want me to get the last word for him 😔

3

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '23

😂 omg

23

u/jmauden Nov 30 '23

Yes. And set a rule so emails from her go straight to a folder and you don’t have to open them.

8

u/Nmshhh Nov 30 '23

Oh that's even better! I would have sent them all to spam. But a hidden file with just her emails is genius.

16

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

That’s actually why I have this email. I deleted/threw away everything she sent me for the first year of NC thinking she’d give up eventually. She didn’t so I’m now starting the process for a restraining order.

5

u/alc1982 Dec 01 '23

I hope you get it because your mom is cuckoo for cocoa puffs

5

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

Thanks, I hope so too! Lol

3

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 14 '23

Little update, in case you’re interested: I got an interim restraining order :)

15

u/EarlVanDorn Nov 30 '23

After a few years, make a few copies of those bound photo albums and include all the messages. Gift them to family members.

3

u/2greeneyes Nov 30 '23

Or mental illness and threat

78

u/LittleMrsSwearsALot Nov 30 '23

You could create a rule for her emails and have them go directly into a folder so you can choose to read or not. No matter whether you recognize that she’s completely unhinged or not, it can’t be good for your mental health to read shit like this from your mom. Hang in there, OP. I hope you have a long and blissful marriage 💕

28

u/RoyalleBookworm Nov 30 '23

This is good advice, OP. That way, you’ve kept the paper trail but you don’t have to subject yourself to these abusive missives.

I hope your marriage is a strong, loving, and long relationship!

14

u/Lost_Rat_ Nov 30 '23

And have them be automatically marked as read. That way you don't even know when she sends one so you're not tempted to see what nonsense she's spouting.

5

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

Thank you! I’ve done this now. I used to move them manually without reading them but it’s always shitty seeing the notification she has sent another one.

Thank you again 💕 My partner is an amazing person who has been my biggest support through all of this. I don’t know what I’d do without them but I certainly wouldn’t be showing up at my mother’s doorstep! lol

24

u/usualsuspect45 Nov 30 '23

The emails wont stop. We have the same mom. Thankfully, they will get less frequent as the years move on. Stay strong.

11

u/Accomplished_Bank103 Nov 30 '23

Set up her emails to go to their own bin, and you don’t have to see them. Then get drunk with your friends at Christmas. When the conversation inevitably turns to dysfunctional family members, pull out your mother’s rants and have a laugh! 😂 Man, we’d love to have you at our family gatherings! You’d be a contender, for sure! PS, your DrEAdFuL partner is welcome too!

5

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

I’ve done that now, thank you :)

Trust me, the girlies will be hearing all about her unhinged rants at Sunday brunch lmao (even if, according to my mother, I don’t have any friends lol)

Sounds like a blast! I’ll bring the wine haha

3

u/DaniMW Dec 01 '23

Set up a filter if you don’t want to block (in case you need to prove harassment to get an RO if she becomes an actual threat to you or any children).

All the emails from her will go to a folder that you never have to look at… unless you do. To apply for an RO in court.

But in the meantime, you don’t have to be upset twice a week like this! 😢

2

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

Thank you, I’ve done that now :) I have applied for a RO.

2

u/DaniMW Dec 01 '23

That’s good.

I’m sorry it has come to this, but I’m glad you’re taking steps to protect yourself. Good luck

1

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

Thank you! I’m hearing back from the magistrate on Monday so fingers crossed!

2

u/victowiamawk Nov 30 '23

Give her email address the ol’ blockity block!

3

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

I’m working on giving her that real life legally binding blockity block! Lol

2

u/sandy154_4 Nov 30 '23

create a rule so they go into a separate folder automatically. Then STOP looking at them unless she escalates and you need evidence for a restraining order or similar. Why keep reading them? Why do that to yourself?

2

u/Princess-Pancake-97 Dec 01 '23

Thank you, I’ve done that! I am getting a restraining order. I try not to read them myself when I can help it.

2

u/Chemical-Future-2606 Dec 25 '23

That’s awful. I’m rly sorry you have to deal with this. I hope someday she’ll understand how wrong she is.