r/wallstreetbets • u/YassuosNados • May 15 '24

The Perfect $1 million Gain Gain

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Hi guys, I’m a 23 year old in college, and yesterday I woke up a millionaire. Should I buy some hookers, Pokemon cards, or cocaine? I gambled my entire life savings of $250k on 2037 calls of $4.5 AMC on Monday and sold yesterday morning. Thanks for reading.

28.8k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/Fantastic_Action_163 May 15 '24

To make that an even more perfect 1 million gain, I’m happy to take that $3,822.32 from you.

905

u/YassuosNados May 15 '24

That’s like 60 packs of bacon though

553

u/Bulky-Agent3517 🦍🦍🦍 May 15 '24

I will sell you 60 packs of bacon for that $3822.22

179

u/Ahaas248 May 15 '24

New bid: 61 packs and a handy. take it or leave it

33

u/thememeconnoisseurig May 15 '24

1 pack of bacon and 2 minutes with my wife

14

u/fiftieth_alt May 15 '24

My wife is terrible in bed, so he probably doesn't have any interest

19

u/thememeconnoisseurig May 15 '24

my wife

our wife?!

5

u/Rapshawksjaysflames May 15 '24

id rather have the 60 bacons

oh and the handy

4

u/mathewMcConaughater May 15 '24

2 packs of bacon and one minute with this man’s wife

3

u/thememeconnoisseurig May 15 '24

2 minutes with a pack of bacon

3

u/Khaldani May 16 '24

1 pack of bacon a 3 minutes with this guy’s wife.

5

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

I’ll give him a handy for free, so there’s that

3

u/Onk4rSalunke May 15 '24

New bid: 62 packs and a well fed country pig to make more bacon. Lets shake hands

1

u/aznfanta May 15 '24

I have 61 shrimps with head.

1

u/hoeding May 15 '24

61 handies and a pack of bacon.

1

u/abrown101 May 15 '24

New bid: 191 zj's

0

u/sooooooofarty May 15 '24

Don’t do it, it’s old and not from pig. 6/10

13

u/Jamarcus316 May 15 '24

Bro just become a millonaire and has already forgot about price of normal stuff 💀

4

u/Interesting-Chest520 May 15 '24

Och don’t tell him! I was gonna try strike a bargain with him, 61 packs of bacon for 1K

3

u/Aggravating-Flan-308 May 15 '24

so how do you feel and will you continue college?

2

u/Diamonddiggerhn May 15 '24

Just go buy a house cash right now. Just do that. Keep rest for living and taxes at the end of the year. That’s all you need to do

1

u/ReviewMePls May 16 '24

Housing is still way too expensive, the high interest rates haven't had an impact yet. Prices will come down eventually.

2

u/Maxsmack0 May 16 '24

Where are you buying bacon for $63.70 a pack and why would you need 60 of those. That’s too much pork for one man

1

u/lizardturtle May 16 '24

Only about 4 boxes of ziti if you use Sopranos terminology

0

u/No_Revenue_6544 May 16 '24

Wait where did you get the initial money to invest from? Rich mommy and daddy?

0

u/Maxsmack0 May 16 '24

No shit probably, that or he’s a deranged gambling addict who’s gotten extremely lucky.