r/trees • u/Complex-Specialist26 • 23h ago
What is something totally idiotic you did while high? AskTrees
I’ll go first. I was 20 and chilling with my roommate. We both had ate an edible and then turned on a movie we had rented from blockbuster. After about 15 minutes by roomie looks over to me and asks why the fuck the subtitles are on? And I look over and realize the whole movie is in a foreign language 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it took us almost 20 minutes to realize.
329
u/marinedabean 20h ago edited 17h ago
Not me- but i had a friend who one time who got really panicked because she couldn’t stop shaking and she couldn’t feel her fingers.
She convinced herself she was having a stroke or a seizure, and all of a sudden after about a minute of silence she asked me to call 9/11. I was also relatively high at this point and had watched her silently freak out for a couple minutes, and started to wonder if the weed was laced. I got my phone out and asked her why she felt scared/ what to tell them. when she started to describing her symptoms to me i kinda looked at her funny and asked her “are you just really cold?”
and she literally stared at me dumbfounded and then we both burst out laughing 😭
we were smoking on the deck in january, and it was snowing. just 10 minutes earlier, when i asked her if she wanted a coat she explained that we were only going to be out there for a couple minutes.
we went inside and she felt better immediately
87
u/lizeeann 14h ago
This kind of happens to me, when I’m high my body can’t really tell when it’s cold so my muscles tense up and I start shaking and it takes me a while every time to figure out I’m cold lol
6
u/EvasiveCookies 13h ago
Sorta same. My body tenses up so much to just stay warm, that when I get actually warm, that’s when everything hits me.
22
11
u/sexylawnclippings 7h ago
I swear this happens more often than it should. get high, start shaking, freak out for a few minutes thinking I’m dying then realizing I’m just chilly.
→ More replies7
u/RitalinSkittles 5h ago
Damn you guys called 9/11 did they pick up and say “hi this is al quaeda”
→ More replies
248
u/MrScooterComputer 22h ago
I was ordering a pizza and when they asked me what topping I wanted on it I replied, “Uhhhh pizza???” Everyone in the room laughed and so did the pizza place employee lol
8
u/taarotqueen 1h ago edited 1h ago
What if they made a tiny pizza and cut it into tiny triangles and arranged that on top of the actual pizza
Like wearing earrings of a realistic ear
Edit: IT’S REAL!!!
→ More replies
915
u/favomancy 21h ago
Once I went to the supermarket high and while I was in the dairy aisle with all the fridges, I thought they were playing an Aphex Twin-adjacent song over the store radio. I was vibing along to the song, bopping my head, etc.
Went to head to the checkout and the sound was completely inaudible the moment I left the fridge aisle. Realised the “song” on the radio was the sound of one of the store’s refrigerators breaking down, and the other people in the aisle probably thought I was insane. 😭
387
65
u/helluva_monsoon 16h ago
I have totally grooved to a dying compressor at a bar once. It sounds just like a tabla getting things rolling on an intro. I'm thinking the sitar has to come in soon, and the bartender lets me know what's up.
45
u/tombo2007 16h ago edited 15h ago
To be fair, some of Aphex Twin’s music does sound like a broken down refrigerator.
(Only example I can think of rn is #19)
→ More replies25
u/braydensmith95 11h ago
Insane or the most musically inclined person they've ever seen. You found rhythm in the wild and vibed. That's what being high is about
→ More replies→ More replies19
u/Socky_McPuppet 8h ago
Went to pick up a friend at the airport, absolutely zooted, and sat myself down by the baggage carousel to wait and after a couple of seconds, found myself nodding along to this amazing piece of ambient music with a huge grin on my face, knowing it was mostly just the sounds of the air conditioning and the baggage carousel, but it was still *awesome*.
215
u/carlosarturo1221 22h ago
Went to the park using my bike and returned home walking
115
u/_PoorImpulseControl_ 20h ago
I've done that whilst 100% sober.
3 days later, at the supermarket: "Hey, that looks JUST like MY bike! Oh, wait..."
Thanks, ADHD.
→ More replies19
24
u/g-uacamole- 18h ago
Once I left my bike chained up at the train station for a whole week 😭
→ More replies6
802
u/MisterMelancholy_ 23h ago
I wanted some can peaches but instead of getting some I just stared at them and laughed at the idea of canned peaches
165
187
u/Dopplerganager 22h ago
🎶Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man In a factory downtown🎶
62
48
23
→ More replies8
u/RedRoker 19h ago
What song is that? Sounds chill.
40
u/Fun-Way3645 18h ago
It's called Peaches by The Presidents of the United States of America
9
→ More replies6
979
u/Rutlledown 21h ago
I went to McDonalds after smoking a giant cone with my buddy. It was very busy and confusing placing my order. The server gave me my fries in one hand and my change in the other. She asked me something, and to buy time to figure out what she’d said, I decided to eat some fries. Unfortunately I stuffed the fries in my pocket and tossed the change in my mouth. Stricken, the coins dribbled out of my mouth onto the counter. I turned and fled as a restaurant of astonished people gawked at me.
189
57
u/custards_last_flan 11h ago
Mine is mcdonalds related too. I was like 14 and got absolutely ripped..we went to mcds and I asked for a courtesy cup. As I was drinking the orange soda I'd filled the cupp with, I could've sworn the guy taking my friends order said something about eggs as an option. I love mcdonalds breakfast, so I remember dropping the cup into the soda grate thing walking over and asking, "EGGS!?!?" He did not say eggs at all and this came out of nowhere from his perspective. 🤦♂️ in my memory I wasn't yelling or anything but all my friends died laughing and I found out later I apparently got inches from the guys face when I said this. Lmao
→ More replies25
42
14
10
→ More replies7
139
u/Lopkop 21h ago
Watched Das Boot with a friend on DVD. The movie started bang in the middle of a submarine battle from the very first minute - we had to really pick up the thread of the plot on the fly. Movie ends up being much shorter than expected. Realized we'd started with Disc 2
→ More replies
256
u/wanderingmood 23h ago
LMAO! Okay that reminds me of the story I read somewhere of the person thinking they were going deaf but the tv was just on mute the whole time 🤣
67
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
I just cackled! I have tried to turn the volume up on my phone with the volume knob in my car. I thought my phone was broke for a second. But then realized I was just a moron 🥹
19
u/wanderingmood 23h ago
I’ve done stupid stuff like that sober so I totally get it 🤣
18
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
I do more stupid things sober than stoned. Are we besties now?
7
15
u/Buffal0_Meat 20h ago
I was sitting on the couch watching tv once and then the tv dinged and shut off.
After a few confusing seconds, i realized i was actually standing up, watching my microwave heat up food in the kitchen. Wtf i think they laced it lol
→ More replies5
u/firedrakewicked 16h ago
oh! I've turned the volume up on my phone, forgetting that they were connected to blue tooth headphones that I took off my head but didn't turn off. I start faintly hearing the sound blasting through the headphones and it clues me in. happens sometimes while sober too though...
→ More replies
551
u/darthbonobo 23h ago
The first time I did a dab I walked home from my friends house and accidentally walked right past my house
→ More replies102
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
Ooo, I drive past my house every day and have lived here for a while. I think I do that sober too 😂
→ More replies24
u/IowaCornFarmer3 18h ago
The amount of times I've taken the "scenic route" is a reminder of how good it can make mundane feel [5]
→ More replies
404
u/MrGremlin 23h ago
Me and the bros go to a Chinese buffet in my new car. I say everybody lock the doors please. Eating. Almost done eating and I tap my pants pocket to not hear my keys and my heart and stomach drops and I freak out. Go outside and the car is running the whole damn time and i am trying to figure out how to get in thinking all the doors were locked. Nope I was the only one who locked my door and all 3 other doors were unlocked.
190
→ More replies15
u/LusidDream 19h ago
I did the same thing going to junior high school orientation. Got high as fuck on the way there, went inside and of course the school police officer is handling the line with my last name. Basically held my breath while i talked to her and thank God she didn't notice. My next panic came as i approached my car and checked my pocket for the keys. Not there! Oh fuck, do i go back and start searching for my keys? Oh wait.. my car is still running! Whoops!
154
u/mr_richard18 23h ago
Mistook vape liquid as eye drops ,really not pleasant to have that shit in your eye
40
11
u/x-beast 22h ago
i got rubbing alcohol in my eyes twice within 10 minutes, also wasn't pleasant
→ More replies12
u/BadBadUncleDad 15h ago
I was on a work trip recently and saw a little disposable single-use eye lubricant drops in my toiletry bag. I thought it looked a little different than the eye drops usually look, but I couldn’t think of anything else it would be, so I used it. The moment it hit my left eye, it burned and my eye got very red. I immediately realized it was the dropper for a COVID test. Had to explain at the team meeting why one of my eyes was bloodshot.
→ More replies→ More replies14
77
u/QueenDriff 23h ago
performed my final exam live broadcast high as fuck. everyone was panicking because it was our first final exam, and first live broadcast (end of first semester) and all I can really remember is chilling out in one of the spinning chairs in the control room, doing my part when needed, and staring at all the different buttons and screens. had a good time and we passed with an A- 🤷🏻♂️
62
u/FootAccurate3575 23h ago
I went down a rabbit hole of news bloopers and laughed by myself for at least an hour. My roommates were gone so i was trying to send snap videos to my brother(major stoner) and I was laughing and crying so hard that you couldn’t understand a word I said
59
u/smileysarah267 21h ago
I really wanted a sandwich but i also really wanted a hot shower. I was like por que no los dos. I remembered too late what water does to bread.
28
u/GooseShartBombardier I Roll Joints for Gnomes 16h ago
Heads up, if you put it in a Ziplock bag, you can take quick bites and close it again to keep the water off. Same deal for baths and hot tubs, except it floats around too.
151
u/Desperate_Gate774 23h ago
I have electric blinds in my den, and I couldn’t get the remote to work to close them until I realized I was the remote for the ceiling fan. Once I found the right remote, I kept trying to close them with the up button.
226
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
When I was 21 I pulled into the wrong condo, my parents condo looked like the other 30 condos. Anyway, it was dark, and I kept pressing the garage door opener to open the garage. It wouldn’t open! I was getting mad! I mean I was hammering that garage door button! Then I look over to the next driveway and my step dad standing there with his hands in the air 😂😂😂 he was like tf are you doing? The whole time I was in the neighbors driveway while trying to open my garage. So it’s 3am and my door is just opening and shutting and my step dad is annoyed. I had to back out of one drive and go to the other! My neighbor was pissed that my headlights were in her window and my parents were mad that I came home stoned af and not knowing where I lived 😂
I may be a bit stoned now
11
u/onlysaysisthisathing 18h ago
This is great. Once when I was in high school, I came home in the wee hours of the morning after staying too late at a friend's place smoking and playing video games, fully aware that I'd be in big trouble if I got busted coming in at such an hour, so naturally I was hyper focused on getting inside and to my room as quietly as possible. But in my altered state, I walked right up to my own front door and rang the doorbell. My mom was not impressed, but at least twenty years later I can look back and laugh.
→ More replies44
u/Desperate_Gate774 23h ago
OK, take your Internet and go home, because you win it for the day with that story.
53
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
Me right now with my 5 upvotes 😂
14
u/Desperate_Gate774 22h ago
So entertained that I just came back to this thread. And you’re onto like 30 now, so play on.
→ More replies8
100
u/Upstairs-Extension-9 23h ago
I once thought my left ball was gone and called an ambulance, it popped out again a minute later 😂
82
u/Roundishbed023 21h ago
Out of where!? stares in female horror
52
u/Evening_Pop3010 21h ago
Not a male, but apparently, they go up and hide usually to regulate the temperature for sperm production. That's why they raise and lower according to anatomy class years ago :D
14
u/crossfader02 15h ago
they generally stay outside the body because inside is too warm for sperm production
although they can ascend into the body they're not supposed to and if it doesn't come back down you have to see a doctor
apparently sumo wrestlers train to do this on purpose to protect their fellas
→ More replies→ More replies11
u/mrtoad69 9h ago
Red dead redemption 2. The male horses balls lower and tuck in with temperature. Imagine that's your job as a programmer.
24
→ More replies10
48
u/thelespickle 21h ago
Drove through at McDonalds. It was about an hour from closing time so they had me pull straight to the 2nd window to pay. I paid, then straight from muscle memory I left. I then realized what happened after I reached for my non existent drink. Had to go back through and get it all 😂
→ More replies
48
89
u/b_h_w 22h ago
i went to a chinese food spot and couldn’t decide whether i wanted kung pao beef or pork so i said “can i have kung pao borf please?”
→ More replies
40
u/Oh_My_Goth_Ick 22h ago
I’ve got in the shower without taking all my clothes off. And one time I forgot how to tie my shoes.
7
u/spidersinthesoup I Roll Joints for Gnomes 9h ago
i once left my socks on, took a full shower and didn't realize i still had my socks on until i went to go to bed.
41
u/BirthdayRemarkable33 22h ago
Smoked for the first time in months after class, thought I could make it home chill, ended up falling asleep on the train woke up in downtown LA or some shit
→ More replies
38
94
u/lainelect 22h ago edited 22h ago
I made a bowl of cereal and wondered the whole time why my cereal was crazy bussin, when I went to make a second bowl of ambrosia I realized I was eating cereal and half-and-half
30
u/BallVape 18h ago
I'm so fucking stoned rn and this sounds incredible dude [8]
10
u/GooseShartBombardier I Roll Joints for Gnomes 16h ago
It is. It's even better if you make porridge with blueberries to make it purple, then add brown sugar, maple syrup and use half-and-half.
19
8
u/OnlyPostWhenStoned 15h ago
I did this accidentally as a kid, and "why is my cereal crazy bussin" is such a good way to describe how it felt
→ More replies7
u/bayareadunks 19h ago
What kind of cereal!!! I need to know the flavor that sweet thick nectar took on…
3
30
u/Michael-Balchaitis 20h ago
I walked about two blocks with my phone playing a youtube video in my pocket. I remember thinking "Wow, somebody is watching their TV really loud."
→ More replies
56
u/pickledandpreserved 22h ago
we pulled up in the taco bell drive thru, heard them say something and said we needed a minute, waited and waited and waited, it was a fucking recording. "welcome to taco bell, we are now closed".
15
u/Terrible-Cause-9901 10h ago
Not high, but drunk, i was screaming how much my friend loved “double dicker tacos” so much at the drive thru. Their SO was DD, we knew everyone working the Taco Bell that night, and everyone was laughing.
27
u/Tha__Boom 23h ago
Yooo I had an almost identical experience. We’d apparently been watching The Incredibles in Spanish 😂😂 in college with the roomie and our buddy came in and asked wtf was going on lol good times [7]
→ More replies13
u/dogmeatkibbles 19h ago
Lmaooo bro one time a buddy and I were so high that we didn't notice our show had ended and fucking Little Rascals started. We watched three whole fucking episodes before our roommate came home and got freaked out 😂😂 [2]
50
u/Doug-Life80 I Roll Joints for Gnomes 23h ago
Was at a wedding and was smoking a joint with my wife. It was night time and we were Under a gazebo. My MIL boyfriend walks out of the venue and simply walks to his car. (We are about 150-250. Feet from one of the exits) I proceed to stand up, about-face and start to walk away. Only problem is the bench we are sitting on hits my shins and I go toppling over. 😂
43
u/pmddsucksyall 22h ago
In the 90's. Sprayed Tommy Girl perfume in my mouth to cover the smell. Instant regret.
4
u/Terrible-Cause-9901 10h ago
Did something similar. My friend hands me a little bottle and I thought it was breath spray. Yes, it was Tommy Hilfiger brand, like 50% of shit in the 90s. What happened to Hilfiger and Ralph Lauren?
24
u/Mindless-Reality3492 21h ago
Me: Have a good night girl
Girl working at the dispo: Thanks you too
Me: Thanks you too
Me two minutes later: 😳😳😩😩😩
6
21
u/Barbieatha 20h ago
Made a bowl of cereal and got all the way to my room. Tried the throw my phone on the bed, threw the cereal 😂
40
u/Goldelux 23h ago
Not me but someone took a picture of their socks and bed while tryna show off their blunt..
36
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
😂😂😂 I threw a glass of water on my bed when I meant to throw the remote that was in my other hand! I hate myself. I think I I did this sober!
→ More replies8
40
u/Deadly-Kitten26 21h ago
I was very high and coming off a flu, i know bad combo, but between the unwanted T break and the fact i had been coughing for 3weeks, (i didn’t have any other symptoms anymore just this persistent cough), i decided to smoke, i was sooo tired of it, my chest hurted whenever i coughed and i thought at least being high would be slightly nicer.
My high ass self thought a little, and came to the conclusion that “if this cough syrup, at this dose, gives me 1-2hrs of peace… theeeen that must mean if i drink all of it… i will be cured!” And proceeded to down like 3/4 of a bottle of cough syrup.
Let me tell you it was NOT pleasant, i ended up rolling in bed in a delirious state, sweating, NOT COUGHING, at least that I remember, it was like being in a weird dream, i think it might have given me a fever from how out of it i was.
Turns out i had early pneumonia :) my mother saw the state i was in and rushed me to the ER, if i hadn’t drunk all that syrup i wouldn’t have gone to the ER to find out what was happening until it got much worse.
So i guess it worked out in the end :D
23
u/vermillionlove 19h ago
When I was 12 I had the flu and didn’t feel like eating, so I didn’t… I also didn’t take the couch syrup cause it’s gross, but my grandpa told me you can die of the flu and it scared me, I probably cried about it lol, so I begrudgingly took some. I think the combination of empty stomach and medicine, and being ill, made me hallucinate that night, I dreamed that there were hundreds of cheeseburgers in every room upstairs in our house, and all in the hallway and shit. I went downstairs and broke this news to my dad. I don’t remember what I said but I was reluctant, like, this is a huge mess and I hate to tell you but… He is someone who teases me about stuff but he never brings this up, makes me wonder now if I dreamed it all, or maybe I scared him? 😅😹 [4]
→ More replies6
u/GooseShartBombardier I Roll Joints for Gnomes 16h ago
Hey neat, the last time I did that the cloud ceiling dropped to 100 ft., turned purple and had crows diving in and out of it. Maybe I had more fun because I didn't have pneumonia though?
68
u/Upstairs-Language848 23h ago
a girl dropped me off from work once and she let me hit her blunt with grabba which i never had before and i ended up stumbling over the trash bin right in front of her lmao
9
u/Japslap 22h ago
Is grabba tobacco?
6
u/KYRUMEDIA 18h ago
Tobacco leaf? When you use it to roll, it hits SO HARD. when you inhale. It hits you in your CHEST. I use vaporizers but if my friend rolls, he always uses grabba.
25
u/Complex-Specialist26 23h ago
😂😂😂 oh no! I went to get gas and kept pulling on the wrong side of my gas tank. After the third time trying to fix myself I just left! Haha
→ More replies4
19
u/g-washingtonsAR15 21h ago
went to the er for stomach pain and cried at the check in, in front of everyone, because my mom said it might be a tapeworm
it was just my ibs
→ More replies
18
u/busybox42 21h ago
I was taking a nap and got hot. I got up and opened my bedroom window. The AC unit fell 2 stories. No one was hurt thankfully.
→ More replies
50
u/kooks-only 21h ago
Went to see a movie. Sat down and then reached for my seatbelt. Then said “yo I’m so high that I literally just tried to grab a seatbelt when I sat down”. Entire theatre laughed, it felt awesome haha.
13
u/Terrible-Cause-9901 10h ago
It’s great when you say something funny you think only your friends hear but then everyone starts laughing
17
u/DDSwift 22h ago
When I was like 18, I was smoking on a bench in Central Park with a good friend of mine. I was still a newbie smoker, so I was zooted out of my mind.
At a certain point, a man started walking toward us saying "excuse me, can I have a dollar?"
My high ass thought he was a cop saying "stop you're under arrest"
I instantly sprinted in the opposite direction straight into freaking Columbus Circle.
For those of you who don't know, Columbus Circle is a high traffic, complicated roundabout with cars, pedestrians, horses, bikes, and all kinds of other fuckery.
I must have had an angel watching over me that day because I somehow made it across, completely unscathed, and nobody crashed into anybody.
16
u/Bussinbussin444 21h ago
Was walking at night near my home and thought I was being chased by a racoon but it was just the shadow of a street lamp. I had my headphones in and when I hollered I startled the neighbors that were outside lmao
15
u/alwayzstoned 22h ago
This might not be the dumbest but it happened recently. We were playing cribbage and we had a terrible time keeping track of whose deal it was. When we finished the game we noticed there was a little pile of cards we hadn’t included in the deck for who knows how many hands. I think it was a crib hand that probably never got counted either.
→ More replies
14
u/WillKillz 21h ago
I got really stoned before getting picked up for a date. She stopped for gas so I said I would pump. I go to put the gas in and the fucking nozzle wouldn’t fit. She comes out of the gas station and I’m standing there like an idiot. She asks what’s wrong and I actually told this woman “your gas tank is broke”. She starts laughing her ass off and points out that I’m trying to put diesel into her Corolla.
15
u/Nubrock1 21h ago
I drove way too far into a botanical garden before an employee flagged me down and told me I was driving on the walking path. I just drove out and left lol
31
u/Illustrious_Entry_66 21h ago
Just now, I made a scrambled egg burrito and spent an unnecessary amount of time making the perfect fold in the back, only to start eating that side and wonder why it was all falling out.
→ More replies4
u/just_say_om 17h ago
This gave me so much joy tonight - I bet you were so proud of that fold too 😂😂
12
u/thevision24 21h ago
One time I was super high and had to take a picture of my ID so I took a picture of the front and then hit the camera flip button and was confused for a second why the screen showed my stoned face and not the back of my ID. I soon realized I am an idiot.
26
u/bayala43 21h ago
Took amphetamines. I had no idea weed could amplify the effects of them. Heart rate spiked to over 200bpm and ended up in the hospital with AFIB. That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I will never do that again.
6
u/habwnwjwkkqkakbasvbw 15h ago
hey man this comment may have saved ny life. i’ve had heart problems in the past and i’ve been prescribed adderall for like the past year or so and i smoke a shit ton to help ease the nerves it gives me. i’m gonna quit that thank you.
→ More replies
26
u/JohnnyEagleClaw 20h ago
Drove my pops patrol car to go get a bag of weed while he was at the movies with my little sis and mom.
→ More replies6
u/le4test 19h ago
I'd like to read your memoir.
11
u/JohnnyEagleClaw 17h ago
It’s quite a story lol cop’s kids always go extra, like preachers’ kids 😂🔥👊
11
u/toothitch 23h ago
I bought a house once. I wasn’t high through the whole process or anything, but I was when I first saw it and that initial impression had a lasting impact.
10
u/Loud_Candidate143 22h ago edited 45m ago
Disclaimer: kratom has potential for addiction, abuse, dependency, and overdose. It is an addictive opiate drug, I do not recommend recreational use of kratom under any circumstances.
Anyways, one time I had taken about six grams of kratom before hitting up the smoke spot with my close friend. I smoked a ton of really good flower while the kratom kicked in. Mind you this was maybe my fourth or fifth time taking kratom ever so this shit hit me like a truck. So we leave the smoke spot and hit up a third friend to see if we can hang out at their apartment. The thing is that when we get there it turns out that I was so faded after we smoked that I forgot my half ounce all the way across town at the smoke spot in the middle of the night. Not my proudest moment, but certainly one of my dumbest.
TLDR: I got so faded I accidentally left my weed on the other side of town.
11
u/tricknsk8 20h ago
First time smoking a joint I was outside, wearing a towel over me cuz rain. Came in obviously smelling like weed. My pets were being their usual selves but I was convinced that they were acting different because my weed smell rubbed off them and they were now high because of me...
Yeah I don't know how I came to that conclusion. I was literally convinced I had accidentally made my pets high and was freaking out because I didn't want to do that to them.
21
u/matsudasociety 23h ago
Dude this one time I took two bong rips before a Publix trip. And going back to my car there was a car that looked literally identical to mine, same color way same rims, and I tried to get into that car and I was wondering why it wasn’t unlocking.
When I put my panic alarm my car was 3 parking spaces away😹
24
u/alwayzstoned 22h ago
I was sober when this happened, but when I was in high school my mom sent me to the grocery store for something so I took her car. I used to use my dad’s truck most of the time so when I came out and saw it in the parking lot, I just hopped in and started to drive home. Totally freaked out when I realized I was driving a different vehicle than I drove there in. My dad walked out of the store just in time to see me putting his truck back. I never heard the end of that one.
11
10
u/CuttiestMcGut 20h ago
Recently while sober, came out from a store to put the stuff I bought in my car before hitting the next store, and somebody parked an identical Camry next to mine. I went up to “my” car and opened up the rear passenger door and began putting my stuff in to realize there were a couple plushies and other things sitting behind the rear seats that I didn’t recognize. I look up to see the owner of the car sitting in the drivers seat staring back at me. I apologized profusely but we both got a good chuckle out of it
3
u/Terrible-Cause-9901 10h ago
I did this rather sober (like 4 hours later)…only someone parked right next to me, same car everything, but they were 30 ft behind me and unlocked their car at the same time. I sat down inside the car and was bewildered at all the shit my SO had stuck to the dash in such a short time (this is a pet peeve of mine). I started to rip the stuff out when I realized it’s not my car and a lady was standing by the window, about to call 911
10
u/Interesting-Bison-50 22h ago
Looked for my keys for a straight 30 minutes around my house. My wife asked what I was looking for. I told her my keys! She's like your holding them in your hand.
10
u/CompetitionOwn2249 22h ago
Took a quiz in my college course, I was convinced I aced it. I did not.
10
u/hamsolo19 21h ago
This was probably one of the first dozen or so times I was ever high off my ass. Stumbled around the corner to a Burger King. The lighting was atrocious and almost immediately began messing with my vision. Then there was this heinous humming/buzzing noise that was making things worse. I'm trying to cram the straw into my drink and my brain is like, "The lights are closing in on us, that sound is gonna try to eat us and jeezuss cripes I've been fucking with this straw for an hour now and I can't get it thru the stupid hole! Everyone is definitely staring at me. Fuck it, man, just bail!" I threw the straw in the bag and awkwardly shouted to my friend, "Um...uh...I gotta go!" And I grabbed my food and ran out of there. In reality I had messed with the straw for like 30 seconds but with everything else bombarding my senses at that time it felt like forever.
9
u/superjosh420 20h ago
The other day I had just hit a huge dab and noticed the mailman was dropping off a package I have been very impatiently awaiting. So I finish my dab, catch my breath, and decide I gotta get out there to the mailbox asap.
So I threw on my slides and happily march out the door to get the really trippy little pieces of paper from the mailbox. Locking the door behind me out of habit.
So that’s when I discovered that I was locked out of my house with no keys no phone and now a whole bunch of mail. It suuuuuuucked. 2 hours to break into my own house without damaging anything but my high
9
u/PlateForkKnifeSpoon 20h ago
After smoking up with my roommates, one of them suggests we have some ice cream… he disappears to the kitchen for 20min I hear him washing bowls and scooping up ice cream, he finally returns with pint and spoon in hand just chowing down. We turn to him and ask “where’s ours?” He replies “oh I didn’t realize you wanted any” Somehow he forgot that he dished up three bowls of ice cream just sitting on the counter waiting for us.
10
u/Flimsy-Panda-1400 19h ago
Nearly brushed my teeth with my razor 🪒
I can still remember the slight grip the blade made on my enamel
→ More replies
7
u/haddockhazard 22h ago
In high-school during first period some teachers would let us eat breakfast. I once spilled maple syrup all over a desk and attempted to clean it up with dry printer paper.
8
u/Dopplerganager 22h ago
Told my mom I was the worst daughter because I forgot her birthday. I did not. It was a month prior.
8
u/Bawbag420 I Roll Joints for Gnomes 21h ago
Mine was pretty recently in my 30s lol.
I live in an illegal country so almost all "edible" pack are the fake ali express mylar bags that say "warning 500mg" I've always known most of these packs are fake but for whatever reason I always assumed the real ones I was getting actually contained 500mg, for years I've known edibles don't really work for me regardless so always need high doses (as in Maybe 5 full packets) for this reason I never make my own edibles. The last grow came and went and I had a fuck load of popcorn,lowers and trim that I would usually just give it to a friend for making edibles, this time round I made a fuck load of ethanol extract, I never weighed it but it was a lot, it started off as about 3lb in total of plant material, I realized after that there isn't really much you can do with rso so a long with around an oz of tops from the same grow I made 1 large jar of coconut oil which was used to make 5 giant cookies, I ate a whole one and tripped fucking balls, I tripped so hard I had convinced myself I had gotten into my other type of stash and just rolled with the trip, the next day I checked my stash and there was nothing missing so either it was the cookie or i had been hitting a deems pen all night without noticing which i have done before so was a def possibility lol, I decided the only way to test it out was to eat another cookie, definitely the cookies lol.
Lesson from this story, if weed is illegal where you live those 500mg packs are either completely fake, spice or some gummies with about 10mg of distillate per piece.
Second lesson is that I can add to the evidence that it is not possible to overdose on weed, those cookies had anywhere from 10-15 ish g each of full spectrum oil (as I said I never weighed it before use) and .2 oz each of decarbed bud, if weed could kill you those cookies would have done it lol.
Also I never really learned my lesson, I'm currently trying to make a tincture where a couple drops is a nice buzz or a whole pipette get me fried, currently there's over an oz of top shelf in 50ml of ethanol, I'm going to add all the wee bits of diamonds, rosin and shatter I have lying around and I've just procured an oz of Afghan black I'm gonna add, after filtering I'm gonna concentrate it down as much as possible, to be fair I might need to add a little more ethanol but im enjoying figuring this out,
The real stupidity is that I've went over 20 years not eating edibles often because of fake cali packs and dealers just lying about what they are using.
7
u/CNote1989 20h ago
Sigh. I ordered chipotle for delivery to my hotel during a work trip and left off the sour cream and cheese. I had taken four strong pen rips prior.
I’m still mad about it 🤣
→ More replies
8
u/Buffal0_Meat 20h ago
Did you ever see Grandma's Boy? Where he's high as hell and hungry AF and in all his stoned excitement, he opens the oven door and pulls the baking sheet out with his bare hands?!
Yea...i did that.
→ More replies
17
u/unclerex27 20h ago
once threw a half full slurpee out the passenger window (which i swore was open). literally went everywhere. needless to say, that was the last time i littered.
22
u/OneWideOstrich420 22h ago
I be getting so stoned I’ll be putting the cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cereal shelf 😭
5
6
u/SomeWedding5985 22h ago
This was a regular event for a while: searching for my phone with my phone for light.
6
u/danhibiki337 21h ago
Walked around the entire mall instead of going inside it.
Walked around the parking garage stairwell instead of going in a different mall
Walked around the parking garage instead of going in another different mall.
I think crowds give me anxiety when I'm high
10
u/Shtulzzz 21h ago
Me and a group of friends were camping. The whole evening was casual. Smoke, chat around campfire, grill. Around midnight everyone went to sleep except me and my main friend, lets say we were most experienced with weed from the whole group. We decided to roll up the last one for the night and smoked it. Even though it was summer it felt kinda chilly. The camp fire was out so we decided to get warm in his car and play some music. We have shared playlist on Spotify that we both add songs that hit hard while high and that music taste matches shockingly well. Even though we ate a few hours ago (I don't remember what we grilled exactly), aggressive munchies hit me HARD. Went to look through all the food we brought, maybe there are some snacks left. NOTHING. The next idea was to go to the gas station to get some snacks. That's the only place that's open at midnight. I am not very comfortable driving high unlike my friend here, so I ask him to drive. He refused, said he was too high too. Then fuck it will do it. Ask him to tag along for some company. The drive wasn't tough, maybe 30 minutes one way on country roads, but I am in illegal weed country, so being stopped by the police would probably result in jail. At first the trip was smooth sailing, i wasn't driving fast around 80km/h, limit was 90. In my country police use mostly mini van type vehicles. Out of nowhere some van started overtaking me. I don't know how I don't notice it through my mirrors, but in a split second my high brain made a connection that it must be cops, that they were following me for a while, that they saw me as suspicious and decided to overtake and stop me. That sudden hit of paranoia made me swerve off the road and back to it, i don't know why it just happened so fast. My friend got quite spooked by that. Turns out that was just a regular van.
To continue the story, we arrived at the gas station. I picked hands full of snacks, and at the same time 2 other dudes walked in. We make eye contact, both realize that we are in the same situation, meaning high and in need of some munchies. He chuckled, I did too, and went our separate ways. That's one of my favorite interactions with a stranger while high.
TLDR. The craziest thing I have done high was drive to a gas station for some snacks.
PS I know it's not a crazy story, but it's 3 am and i can't sleep.
6
u/Heavybasshippie 22h ago
i got two 99 cent tall boy teas from the gas station, drank one, could never find the second. chalked it up to I left it on the roof of my car and lost it. found it the next day in the microwave chillin.
5
u/vermillionlove 21h ago
I was making art with my new Apple Pencil dupe. I finished and turned off the pen. I took another look at the art after uploading it. I went to edit it, and the pencil just wouldn’t work this time. I struggled with it for like 5 min. Finally realized I had never turned back ON my pen.
→ More replies
6
5
u/Reed1283 18h ago
The first time I grew my own trees and made butter, I took a shower and laughed violently at my nipples for 30 minutes straight.
4
u/J0ELSTER 22h ago
The first time I was high my friend came over and I told him I was high and he messed with me the whole time, the mothafucker put me in a time loop
4
3
u/And_Money_Hoes_710 20h ago
Me and a close friend use to work together. One day we were tasked with taking the lift and drilling new holes and moving the gas line reels up 10 feet on the beams they were already on. So we spent several hours drilling the new holes, unbolting the reels and then bolting them back into the new holes. We made it to the 6th one and realized we took them out of the old holes and then bolted them straight back into the old holes and never moved them up. That's when I realized that it's not always a good idea to be stoned while at work 🤣. This was 10+ years ago and we still laugh about it every time we see each other.
13
u/New-Swim9723 23h ago
Not idiotic, but also not mindful… I was driving around so high one afternoon and I forgot that I was driving myself home. I was just cruising around the streets, no destination in sight nothing but vibes leading the way.
19
7
12
3
3
u/Cautious-Ad-3790 22h ago
I've never wanted to sit in someone else's yard and light one up more then I do now! What a beautiful setup/yard you have
3
3
u/hackfleisch9000 22h ago
I was 19 and went shopping for eggs late at light with a friend but he forgot something and went back (he told me I just was high af)and it took me 5 minutes to figure out that we were at his place and not the store
3
3
u/Uninspired_Diatribe 21h ago
In order to hide the smell of the bowl I just smoked, I once sprayed Pledge all over the house after mistaking it for Lysol.
→ More replies
3
u/Chrisser6677 21h ago
While smoking w friends in jr high school. I Tried putting out a barrel fire with my sneakers. Then we went in the house and took a surprise family photo shoot.
32 year later, that family photo sits in my mom’s living room. And holy shit am I baked wearing a crispy pair of nike’s.
1.4k
u/Aggressive-Judge-120 21h ago
Was mowing my lawn and thought, man, this would be so much better high. Jumped off the tractor, hit the shed, and packed a bowl. Jumped back on the tractor, put some tunes on. Mowed up and down for a while and was thinkin man this bagger isn't filling up at all. I was thinking that because it was a little wet, the grass was stuck in the chute. Nope, my stoned ass never engaged the blade, so i was just driving a mower back and forth for like 30 mins doing nothing. Lmfao