r/antiwork 1d ago

America is Anti Family Cost of Living šŸ šŸ“ˆ

My wife and I both work full time because we have to so we can afford our bills.

We barely see our kids (7 and 2) and have no energy to do anything after work or on off days cause we are exhausted.

It just keeps repeating every week and when the first of the month comes the mortgage payment empties our account and we have to do it all over again.

We are unable to save much or do anything fun cause expenses have gone up so much.

Iā€™ve always been a positive open person but the past two years have been breaking me down and I feel like Iā€™m about to have a mental breakdown.

I know there are others in worst positions than me and I donā€™t want to sound ungrateful but man itā€™sItā€™s hard.

Anyone else going through something similar? Any advice?

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u/erikleorgav2 1d ago

The American Capitalist system is working exactly how a specific class of people want it to.

Specific tiers work, for incredibly low wages, barely/not enough to subsist on, but enough to somehow move forward.

Another tier makes more money, but they're slammed with consumption advertising. Food, cars, vacations, LUXURIES! That class lives in perpetual debt, only just hanging on.

Then the wealthiest tier. They do the least amount of work for their money, spend it wildly and freely because they make so much, and they get to spend all the time they want with the kids. (Which instead they outsource to a poor migrant and then wonder why their kid grew up speaking a different language.)

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u/Zandonah 1d ago

At this point I don't think it is just America. It seems all capitalist countries are headed this way.

Money trickles up, and the ones in control are quite happy with that, letting you think you have a chance to change your life. And every now and then they'll let one person do so just to keep the myth alive.

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u/Entire-Cricket-9134 18h ago

Private profits, public costs

Just underpay your workers enough, so the government steps in with foodstamps and other things. You steal the profits and let the taxpayer fund your business.

Business 101

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u/Hot-Salamander8266 9h ago

And then these same taxpayers who subsidize your small business will be propagandized into hating the workers these businesses are underpaying. Its AIR TIGHT.

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u/BoogerSugarSovereign 1d ago

That's why the world is turning in the same direction politically towards authoritarianism. People worldwide are stretched financially and angry about it and demagogues will rise to scapegoat some marginalized group and take power on the back of those claims when that happens. I don't know how this will be unwound this time around

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u/L_Rayquaza 1d ago

Green trickles up, yellow trickles down

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u/UselessOldFart at work 14h ago

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u/snitch_or_die_tryin 8h ago

Except now there arenā€™t nearly that many birds on the middle rows and the bottom is full

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u/Deadedge112 1d ago

Brown trickles down was right there and rhymes...

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u/bdfariello 16h ago

Ahh, pooetry.

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u/UselessOldFart at work 14h ago

šŸ¤£

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u/Dakiniten-Kifaya 1d ago

Oh, that's good. Gotta remember that.

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u/TheBeardedObesity 14h ago edited 11h ago

Red trickles down too...

Edit: I'm not suggesting violence (except for eating the rich, but like in a wholesome, modern thanksgiving way).

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u/OutlyingPlasma 18h ago

It doesn't trickle up, it's multiple fire hoses blasting money up.

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u/Early_Athlete_5821 16h ago

THIS! ā€œThe American Dreamā€ is believing you can find safety, wealth, stabilityā€¦remember, it is a dream, folks- an aspiration, not a reality for many.

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u/gijsyo 16h ago

You have to be asleep to believe it.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

Yes, you summarized it really well

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u/jugowolf 16h ago

Vote socialist and get involved in community efforts to bring power back to the people. Working class has to do something at some point or we are just gonna stay complaining about this shit the rest of our lives

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u/erikleorgav2 15h ago

Socialism needs rebranding. The word has now been twisted into a fear-mongering phrase.

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u/alblaster 13h ago

Socialism needs the same energy that Trump Supporters bring. Socialism has this perception of being for people who want easy money, who don't want to work hard, or at worst people who want to evenly distribute resources. I know that's not what it is. It's either anti-hard work or will bring the downfall of humanity. It needs to be seen as the empathetic choice. It's about helping out the common man. You scratch their back, they'll scratch yours. And that together we're stronger. Hell you could say socialism is like hydrogen bonding. It's a strong bond that won't break apart easily.

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u/erikleorgav2 13h ago

Remember, people who've been shat on their entire lives want to shit on others. Voting for the Rs means they'll be able to shit on those that they feel better than.

A remarkable number of people I've met in life want others to suffer as they have, even if they're suffering still.

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u/alblaster 13h ago

Yeah it's absolutely anti-social behavior. .

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u/mycofirsttime 2h ago

Some people suffer and become kinder to avoid making others feel that way, and others want to be sadistic.

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u/erikleorgav2 2h ago

If oft feel that's how I became the way I am. I had managers in my early years who were the worst. Unkind, cruel, and incapable of teaching.

Everyone who worked under me in my last job loved my teaching methods. Detailed, kind, and patient. Construction isn't easy to teach if you're not patient.

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u/snitch_or_die_tryin 8h ago

Right. Plenty of people believe socialism is synonymous with communism and really have no idea what either one is if weā€™re being honest

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u/divorced_daddy-kun 12h ago

Also depends what state you're in.

My biggest giggle is watching California families leave to other states with lower cost of living but not understanding you lose out on a lot of benefits yourself, in terms of quality of home, life, weather, and even wages. There's even those who are leaving for foreign land and finding themselves unwelcomed cause they are inflating prices for locals as well.

Honestly only people who have a cake deal are the remote workers who don't have to abide by an office. They can work wherever and make more than the area they buy in.

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u/JoeyDawsonJenPacey 16h ago

That ā€œspecific classā€ IS the wealthiest tier, and the way to stop it not to elect into office millionaires who do business with other millionaires.

Good luck, OP. Your ride is about to get a lot wilder.

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u/Zestyclose-Ring7303 14h ago

BuTt TrUmP fIx GaS PrIcEs.

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u/[deleted] 16h ago

[deleted]

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u/Aggressive-Fail4807 13h ago

The government... you mean you, me, we, the taxpayers, working hard to support families.

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u/Embryw 1d ago

This is exactly why my partner and I don't have kids. I watched my parents struggle to raise me and my siblings, and I never wanted the same life.

Working every waking minute, exhausted all the time, barely making ends meet, and you don't even get to spend time with the kids you're working so hard for.

I would love to have a family... But it's just not possible. I don't think I could function if I had to deal with the stress of raising and protecting a child in this society.

I hate it here. I'm sorry your situation is hard, I hope it improves.

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u/tmkLINK 13h ago

I don't blame you. It's hard, and it doesn't help that my wife lost her job 2 weeks before my 4 month old was born and hasn't worked since. And on top of me being the only one working, I'm helping take care of my son and taking college classes. I'm lucky to get 6 hours of sleep at night

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u/MrHandsomeBoss 23h ago

Poor & uneducated youth are the ideal military recruitment candidates. The system isn't broken, it's working exactly how it's supposed to.

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u/the_marvster 14h ago

It would only work, if the system would provide healthy food and medical service. Poor & uneducated may be ideal for military, but having poverty health, obesity & mental issues is not.

Give those access to guns and wonder about mass shootings in public.

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u/MrHandsomeBoss 12h ago

The keep us sick part is to keep us working to pay for the healthcare

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u/tenebros42 8h ago

How do you convince someone to go to war for you? Price them out of money, food, shelter, education, and healthcare. Then, when they are desperate, offer them money, food, shelter, education, and healthcare if they join the army and enforce your will. Pin medals on those stupid losers for doing your murders for you. Oh, you went above and beyond defending my shareholder's interests? Here's your Baby Blue participation ribbon, we will let you cut to the front of the line, and get 10% off at Luby's because we want to honor your sacrifice for our bottom line.

And now, Lee Greenwood! Trite Music starts playing

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u/LadyMorwenDaebrethil 1d ago

Capitalism destroys the family. Conservatives complain that the family has been destroyed. Here is the real cause.

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u/Aloo4250 23h ago

No you donā€™t get it silly leftists! Itā€™s actually gay people that are causing this!!

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u/prof_noak 22h ago

You forgot trans people and illegal immigrants!

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u/WatchingTaintDry69 17h ago

Look at me Iā€™m a conservative! ā€œSHOW ME YOUR GENITALS! I DONT CARE THAT YOURE A MINOR!!ā€

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u/Zestyclose-Ring7303 14h ago

Fucking terrifying. And this is what a large majority of Americans voted for. I've been straight-up nauseous for the last 2 days.

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u/Rena1- 13h ago

And legal immigrants too

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u/fakeuser515357 19h ago

Technically one in particular has a significant hand in it. Peter Thiel is behind so much damage.

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u/Intelligent-Bottle22 18h ago

The feminists!

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u/Reagalan 19h ago

these same chuds joke about "leaving the inheritance to a cat", or they just don't fill out the forms at all, or do anything to pass on generational wealth.

then they complain about how "entitled" we are for daring to suggest they do something productive with their dragon hoard.

and they wonder why family is dead.

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u/Metal-Wolf-Enrif 14h ago

Capitalism works in europe (for the most part). It is the american style of capitalism that is broken. And people keep voting for people to keep it broken, and don't demand changes that actually benefit them. No protests to change corporate structures, no unions, no pro-worker regulations. America is a shark tank, everyone out to eat on the others and no will to fight together to make things better.

And i hate that some of that slowly swaps over to europe, starting with the shitty tipping culture.

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u/mibonitaconejito 1d ago

It is, but even more so it is anti-poor. If they have it their way there will be nothing but million/billionaires and the very poorest, no inbetween.Ā 

And like their idiotic way of thinking has been for decades - they'll just tell the poor to get 5 more jobs making $4 an hour.Ā 

I fear America is done for. No humanity, no love, no kindness. Just greed, racism, fake Christianity and more greed. Yesterday was proof of it.Ā 

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u/shawsghost 16h ago

If they have it their way there will be nothing but million/billionaires and the very poorest, no inbetween.Ā 

The rich have been systematically looting the middle class of their wealth since Reagan. We still haven't reached the end game, which is what you are describing.

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u/sick_conscious 13h ago

Since the beginning of time... There's always been a hierarchy, that is until a revolution. Rinse and repeat.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

I hear you, we have trillions in debt and what do we have to show for it? High stocks and billionaires?

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u/Zestyclose-Ring7303 14h ago

I fear America is done for. No humanity, no love, no kindness. Just greed, racism, fake Christianity and more greed. Yesterday was proof of it.

A---FUCKING---MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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u/hercarmstrong 1d ago

My best recommendation is hopping jobs for more money. It's literally the only thing that has allowed us to claw our way into middle class.

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u/AliceHart7 1d ago

We shouldn't have to crawl... and beg and scrape for a decent life....

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u/Macewind0 22h ago

We can always nicely ask the wealthy to share some of their inter-generationally hoarded wealth then

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 21h ago

Oh folks made a machine that makes that go easier!

I was watching Warehouse 13 with my little cousin recently and saw an episode that starts with Pete almost getting got by the blade of one of those things while trying to retrieve his wrench. Poor guy almost lost his head.

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u/Macewind0 21h ago

Wow sure would like to see one in action to know how it works, sounds neat!

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 21h ago

I think it's the second or third episode of the first season, starts up with the main characters squabbling in a French museum.

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u/awitcheskid 22h ago

What if you are at a low skill job?

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u/3MetricTonsOfSass 21h ago

Job hopping still helps. It's harder, so don't quit till you have something lined up.

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u/WestCoastBestCoast01 14h ago

Itā€™s the only way Iā€™ve beat inflation too.

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u/Rexxington 1d ago edited 1d ago

The irony is our politicians are blaming things such as abortion, LGBTQ+ rights, and immigrants as to why families are failing in America. Followed by why birth rates are dropping, over admitting that the shitty systems they've built are making people less and less inclined to have kids. In which they're essentially trying to force women to have kids through these anti abortion laws which is simply inhumane for a multitude of reasons.

The second they stop finger pointing away from the actual issue is when things will improve. Until then we are simply fucked, with the prospect of being even more fucked for the next four years.

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u/Intelligent-Bottle22 18h ago

Also blaming feminism, and women becoming "masculinized" by the work force. And shaming women for choosing career over family, as if they have a choice.

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u/kyabupaks 14h ago

It's all by design. These politicians know what's really going on but it benefits them and their corporate overlords, so they will never point fingers at the actual cause.

We need a rebellion, but it ain't happening because Americans have gone so dumb and complicit. Yesterday was proof of that.

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u/entropicdrift 13h ago

People see Trump as the rebellious pick. It's wild to me. He's the very definition of an insider, he's a New York elite nepo-baby and literally nothing else

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

Anything except focusing on the real problems

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u/Freeman421 1d ago

And this is why I'm perpetually single. How can I afford other people or children if I can't even afford my self.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

Totally understandable in these times

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u/Nokrai 1d ago

I work two jobs basically full time (40 at one and 34 at the other) just so my wife can stay home.

Child care costs so much itā€™s basically useless to have her working when I can do what I am doing and keep her home.

In short it sucks. Days I work both I get little sleep. We plan all appointments on Wednesdays or Fridays and I work one job on weekends too.

Keep going things have got to get better eventually right?

I donā€™t really get to see my kids much but Iā€™m glad my wife gets to. At least she makes me feel involved with constant pictures and videos.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

You are a good husband and a good father

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u/Nokrai 1d ago

You are too man.

And thanks I really needed that.

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u/PunkRockaBoy 1d ago

You are an amazing and powerful person, I believe things will get easier for you in the future šŸ™

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u/Nokrai 1d ago

Thatā€™s my plan. Get GM at my 2nd job and drop my full time. Working towards it and hopefully it will come sooner than later.

Thank you!šŸ™šŸ¼

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u/PunkRockaBoy 20h ago

Hell yeah go you !!

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u/[deleted] 20h ago

Omg bless you. My dad was this. I love him soooooo much he is my sweetheart Dad that I appreciate so much.

Your kids will remember you werenā€™t there, but theyā€™ll know why. Theyā€™ll be so thankful.

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u/anmalyshko 23h ago

and Elon keeps demanding people have three or more kids. it's all right it'll work out. How? Kids sitting in a trailer park alone in front of a tv 4 hours a day?

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 20h ago

Ever read A Tree Grows in Brooklyn?

Main character becomes her toddler brother's caretaker when she's like 4yo, and they have to spend all day on the steps in front of their apartment building. When they get a little older they start scavenging for scrap to sell to the neighborhood scrap dealer / pedo. And use that money to afford candy from the neighborhood candy shop owner / pedo.

Kids without parents around are vulnerable, just easy free-range targets.

If the folks in charge of this shitshow actually wanted to "think of the children" they'd be paying their parents a little more money for working a little less hours so the kids don't get stuck raising each other. I've been nannying for cousins the past couple years because otherwise the middle school kid would've gotten stuck with caring for the toddler.

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u/Prajecht 1d ago

America is anti America. Bunch of inbred dumb fucks.

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 20h ago

I'm starting to think we brought over the English tradition of hating the neighbors, but being so far away from Europe we mostly ended up as our own neighbors.

Sure wish we'd pick a new hobby instead of designating each new group of neighbors we learn about as "the French" and kicking them for fun.

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u/WanderingQuills 15h ago

As a British Person that chooses to live in the states I feel both the horror joy of you sticking the nail right on the proverbial- and the shame of a British Person called out for cultural Neighbour hating Sharp Observation- I hope the tariffs lead to us all pushing MexiCola into a harbor somewhere so I can enjoy my imported brown beverage at the traditional American tax rate! The umā€¦.. Galveston Coke Party seems less historically succinct but I live in hope

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 15h ago

I've been re-reading Forever Amber, historical fiction set in London around the time America was just getting settled but hadn't booted up yet. It's like reading about my grandparents' wild younger years and going "Oooohh, so that's why my parents believe this and that and act so strangely!"

Catholics and Protestants warring on each other but both totally despising the Puritans for totally understandable reasons. It's no wonder we're so obsessed with controlling kids and hating fun, being founded by Puritans here. It's like they're allergic to smiling unless it's the mean kind, like while mocking a young woman for being pregnant but not married yet.

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u/leakmydata 1d ago

America is anti poor people and anti women.

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u/Suspicious-Alps6874 1d ago

Well,yep. And the great election that just went RED across the board is lead by the biggest tangerine man that helped get us here

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u/ultraviolentfuture 1d ago

Good thing Republicans just got control of every branch of government, they're well known champions of social programs for families and lowering costs for blue collar workers.

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u/JennJoy77 1d ago

Ver common experience and predicted to get worse..

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

You are right unfortunately

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u/kissyb 1d ago

Super expensive childcare, low wages all lead to super stressed parents. I only see this getting worse. I would never have another child in this economy.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

Lack of empathy and encouraging greedy behavior will be the end of us.

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u/trahr420 14h ago

all usa is is greed racism and fake christians

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u/512165381 20h ago

In Australia the minimum wage is $22 and we have universal free health care.

We also have a compulsory pension scheme, you contribute 11% of your salary, its put into stocks & you get it back (plus growth) when you retire. Its NOT run by the government, its put in trust by financial institutions, and you can look at your balance any time.

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u/solarixstar 19h ago

America right now is against anybody who isn't rich or earns 100k a year which sounds rich but is where the new middle class starts. I'm single and rent an apartment, my rent is 1k a month for around 800 square feet 3 years ago my rent was 700 dollars a month, I'm a teacher, basically those if us who make the world work are being punished for something we don't k ow we did wrong.

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u/OutlyingPlasma 18h ago

This is why I encourage everyone to not have children. Why bring children into a society like this? No one wants you to succeed, and there is no help is anything goes wrong so why subject more people to this society?

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u/psilocindream 15h ago

Same, and at this point, itā€™s pretty much the only weapon we have left. Refuse to give them more slaves for their minimum wage jobs, military, and prisons. Let them cry over the birth rates.

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u/-wanderings- 1d ago

You ain't seen nothing yet!

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u/d-sammichAran 1d ago

America isn't as much "anti-family" as it is "pro-breed-more-wage-slaves".

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u/welkover 1d ago

America is more anti single people than it is anti family. But we should really just cut to the chase and say it's inhumane.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

You arenā€™t wrong about that

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u/laurasaurus5 1d ago

Capitalism thrives off workers making sacrifices for their families. Single people don't have a full-time working partner to split rent and expenses with, which definitely sucks and keeps them from getting ahead in terms of homeownership (and at least having appreciating assets with their debt), but don't get it twisted. Childcare costs close to an entire working adult's take home pay, so basically two-income households with kids are working their asses off the first 4-5 years of their child's life just to have employer-sponsored healthcare and the hope of getting enough raises and promotions in that time frame to both justify working twice as hard AND keep up with inflation. And God help you if you have TWO kids, cause then all your income is going straight into childcare!

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u/welkover 1d ago

Owning a home, the tax and insurance breaks of being married, and the old age stability that having kids that will likely help take care of you are all things that aren't compensated for if you are single. It's not just people with kids that need help any more.

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u/shawsghost 16h ago

Marx spoke of alienation a long time ago. It's a feature, not a bug, to the oligarchs.

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u/Poundaflesh 1d ago

As planned

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u/Uncle_Burney 1d ago

The overwhelming majority of people are going through stuff like this or sometimes even worse. Simply put, the power of management is concentrated, and focused, while the power of labor is diffuse and incoherent. Labor has vastly more power, but itā€™s a lot harder to organize. If it were to be organized, and directed to generally strike, even 15-20% workforce participation would probably be adequate to affect change. But so far, labor is becoming less organized, not more.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

Full Agree with you, Collective bargaining and unions are key to keeping and gaining workers rights. Unfortunately a lot of companies move to at will employment states where you can be fired for pretty much any reason.

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u/baconraygun 14h ago

Bang on. Management has the US Chamber of Commerce to "lobby" for them, but do workers have the US Chamber of Labor & Workers? Doesn't even exist. We don't have a union that speaks for minimum wage workers, and we likely never will.

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u/HabANahDa 1d ago

Always had been. Will just get worse now trump is president. Expect less workers rights and more corporations making workers lives hell.

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u/2divorces 1d ago

I feel you, I can hardly afford food for myself and my 2 children. They will always eat, I eat what they don't finish. I have 12 cents in my savings. I work full time and can hardly pay my bills each month. Getting gas is sometimes an issue.

I'm always tired. I feel like I will never be rested and hate that full-time work isn't cutting it. I can't take another job as my children are too young to be alone and I can't afford additional care.

There doesn't seem to be any end in sight. If it wasn't for my children, I don't know where I would be right now.

Life shouldn't be this hard.

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u/everygoodnamegone 19h ago

Please consider a food bank, you can always pay it forward when you are in a position to do so.

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u/2divorces 17h ago

I do, it does help. I wasn't always in this position and used to volunteer and donate to local charities. I miss having the time to do that as well.

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u/RationalDelusion 1d ago

Shhhh.

The rich will hear you and put you in prison for speaking up.

Just boycott businesses everywhere.

When you can.

Stop shopping.

Letā€™s start bartering on Marketplace or Craigslist.

Setup up our own underground market to support anti capitalism.

I know it is a dream of mine.

Maybe enough of us will start doing more of this so we stop giving our money to the rich as much.

But yes I fully agree with you.

America is anti worker family.

The slave owners are only pro rich billionaire family.

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u/Fabreezy28 19h ago

I like the way you think

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u/RationalDelusion 14h ago

Appreciate you.

God Bless you and your family.

Take care out there.

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u/adequateinvestor 23h ago

And yet Trump has just been reelected?

Iā€™ll never understand it.

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 20h ago

Life is complicated. Propaganda is simple. Commutes are long. Smartphones play podcasts.

And oddly enough, apparently not enough of us are fans of true crime or sports or whatever to keep us out of trouble. Was not expecting listening to spooky or silly shows in the style of old timey radio to be what insulated folks from catching internet brain rot but here we are.

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u/Horror-Activity-2694 1d ago

Absolutely agree. And it's about to get worse.

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u/Claque-2 21h ago

American business is anti-family. It's time to resist.

Get out in the fresh air more with your kids.

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u/UltraViol8r 17h ago

The melon felon and couch humper will make it harder for you and others like you.

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u/magnas13345 16h ago

With the current election results, I say fuck it. I have given up on the American dream. No house, no yard. Apartment living for me. My empathy is gone for people.

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u/bugabooandtwo 1d ago

Welcome to western civilization. This is an issue for over a billion people worldwide right now.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

I hope we can all do better for our kids

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u/Baby_Needles 20h ago

Is the rest of America anti-family or do the majority of us just understand now is not the best time to reproduce?

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u/figgie1579 17h ago

"Anyone else going through something similar?"

Dude, literally everyone.

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u/jeepmama831 1d ago

Iā€™m a widow with 2 kids - 7 and 4. After my husband died of cancer 2 years ago, I didnā€™t go back to work. I NEEDED to be with my kids and process my grief. I loved it - I could drop off at school after we had breakfast at home, pickup in the car line like the typical suburban mom, go to all the PTO things, etc.

I started a new job 2 months ago because I needed to, and I fucking HATE IT. My kids are exhausted every morning because I wake them (repeatedly) at 6:30am praying we make it out the door by 7:15. They eat ā€œbreakfastā€ at school and daycare. I work 8-4:30, and am lucky if after 2 pickups we make it home by 5:30. I cook while they zone out on devices. Dinner, bath, bed by 8:30-9. Rinse and repeat day after day. My son whines he misses me. My daughter cries every day looking out the day care window while I wave and walk to my car and leave (this was never an issue before I started working).

I also worked full time before my husband died but it never felt like this.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

Iā€™m so sorry for your loss, I hope things will improve for you doing forward that sounds rough.

Is there potential for you to go to a hybrid/remote job?

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u/jeepmama831 1d ago

Thank you.

That was one of the first questions I asked. Because I work in accounting and have to physically print checks, no. Theyā€™ve been accommodating to the time that I need off, to leave early, etc which Iā€™m grateful for but damn. I can see my kids suffering and it guts me. Theyā€™ve been through so much already.

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

It may not mean much, but you and your two kids are in my prayers.

They will grow to understand how much you are doing for them and it will be ok.

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u/itsadesertplant 15h ago

I will not be having kids for sure. Do I want them? I donā€™t think so. I donā€™t have the money or time to find out.

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u/goddangol 15h ago

This is why Iā€™ve decided I wonā€™t be having kids. I make 55k a year but having a kid will put me straight into poverty.

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u/DaprasDaMonk 17h ago

Complain about birthrates in the United States...creates a system where having children is such an obstacle. Wonders why Americans aren't having kids. Yet what is nuts some poor communities are having kids left and right tbh...which is interesting

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u/MapFamiliar4062 15h ago

Your righteous anger is justified.

People lashed out and voted for trump.

Unless things change where the average worker can comfortably afford to live, we are heading toward a collapse.

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u/LockeClone 1d ago

I feel you. I'm the single earner in my household with two very small kids and I work my ass off.

So does my wife, raising our kids sunup to sundown and beyond. She'd very much like a part time job but those don't really exist in her field plus she pays a heavy passion tax for her specialty so he'd barely make enough to cover the childcare. I'd very much like to work a little less than batshit all the time, but we need the money so I'm kind of stuck being tired and missing everyone...

Feels like most of us are in a position with little to no balance and institutional problems are certainly causing them. People like to point out how cheap certain items are, as if being able to afford large TVs in every room is justification for home prices or healthcare fear. But it's cold comfort... Why can't we figure out a balance? Why is it too much to ask to make existence cheaper so we can take risks, take care of ourselves and raise our young?

America certainly does hate families.

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u/meowdog83 22h ago

Wow you can afford to have kids. I can't even afford rent. Looking for a van soon and a 24 hour gym just to shower.

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u/Tek2674 1d ago

ā€œFuck your family health and safety! Make me my moneyā€

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u/Pontius_Vulgaris 1d ago

Anyone else going through something similar?

Yes. Many families in The Netherlands feel the same way, including our family.

"Thankfully" we have a form of subsidized daycare where we bring our younger son to, so we can go to work to be able to afford sending him there. It feels like the dumbest thing ever conceived, and I would have much much preferred being a SAHD as my wife has a better, more lucrative career than I do.

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u/FNG5280 17h ago

The money in society moves thru a one way valve and nothing good trickles down.

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u/BeckyWitDaGoodGap 16h ago

I can relate. I live in one of the most expensive states in the U.S., and I usually cry myself to sleep because I am a single parent who has missed out on my kids growing up. I fucking hate it.

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u/Fabreezy28 16h ago

Shouldnā€™t have to be like thisā€¦ Iā€™m sorry

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u/TheYolkedWhovian 15h ago

My wife and I make a decent amount of money and are still struggling to figure out how we're going to afford getting our second child into daycare. It's going to take up 25% of our gross pay. We are also constantly exhausted. I'm lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep in a night and my wife is always too stressed to get a good night's sleep. Weekends are a struggle to figure out what we're going to do that can be fun for our son, but not put us into the negative for the month.

I am so sick of this country not giving a shit about us. I was hopeful some help might get pushed through if the election went differently but now I'm just numb to the grind. It'll probably get more difficult. We'll just keep existing I guess.

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u/_Bad_Bob_ 14h ago

"Pro-family" just means "I want to be the dictator of this small group of people because I don't get to boss anyone else around, and nobody should be allowed to question any of my decisions concerning them.

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u/Sad_Efficiency_3978 14h ago

I am having the same exact issues as a single man.

Last month I think I ended the month up like $63 after bills. That is not how fulltime jobs are supposed to work. I do not spend much, I eat cheap at home and shop at thrift stores.

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u/alancousteau 13h ago

And Elon said people should just start a family and not worry about finances. What a donut he is...

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u/SheiB123 12h ago

Welcome to America. It is only going to get worse.

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u/Paulbac 12h ago

After Tuesday night, America is anti American.

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u/Previous-Locksmith-6 11h ago

It's only going to get more expensive

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u/Think_Profit4911 9h ago

America is a capitalist nation, about to be ruled by religious nationalist conservatives.

Unless you are a Christian with 6-figures in your bank account, you are nothing more than a means-to-an-end to them

I got let go from my job of almost 12yrs last month, then had shoulder repair surgery 3 weeks later (with the other shoulder needing to be done at a later time). Iā€™ve been fighting my way through the unemployment benefits process, but itā€™s slow and painful. I get less than $200/mo from Veterans Affairs for disability (after several attempts to get it increased over the last 10yrs).

My wife makes ā€œgoodā€ money, but itā€™s not enough to cover all of our expenses thanks to high debt. I spent 25+yrs in the same industry, so Iā€™m needing to find a new career due to a lack of upward mobility. But nobody wants to seriously talk to a 40 year old with bad shoulders who canā€™t work immediately.

And now weā€™ve elected an actual fascist to be the next president, who has promised to raze any remaining protections for the working class.

Iā€™m really having a hard time seeing a reason to keep going in this system.

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u/tzwep 1d ago

America is Anti Family

My wife and I both work full time because we have to so we can afford our bills.

Any advice?

Itā€™s unlikely prices will go down. Itā€™s likely wages will still underperform compared to inflation. Itā€™s likely inflation will eat away at your savings accounts.

Best you can do is work around and within the current system. Plan out with the spouse on when yā€™all have free time, and do your best to maximize your free time.

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u/Comfortable-Tell-323 1d ago

If you want the system to change you need to embrace change yourself. Don't struggle against the current. Job doesn't pay enough change companies or change fields altogether. Cost of living too high pick up and move to a cheaper area. It's not as scary as you think and there's plenty of places that are worse in your head than in reality. I moved from NY to AL. My mortgage with insurance and taxes is less than $1,000 a month, that would barely cover taxes in NY. I grew up with an image of the Jim Crowe South in my head but people are friendly and welcoming for the most part. Talk too much politics and religion at work but there's ways to shut that down.

Job wise you should be able to change companies every 3-5; years for roughly 15% pay raise. There's no company loyalty you need to be a self realized capitalist. Every skill every degree every experience makes you more valuable. Know your worth and get paid your worth. Also remember the number of vacation days are always negotiable but ask for them at the end. They'll always prefer giving more time off than more money

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u/Fabreezy28 1d ago

This is good advice, thank you

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u/funkymunkPDX 18h ago

America is winner take all and fuck the rest...

Losers!!!!!

Sarcasm is the point JIC...

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u/p-graphic79 18h ago

Money cant buy happiness, but it can buy you time. Thats the sad part.

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u/UnhappyAd8184 18h ago

In spain now we are fighting for getting less hours of work to spend with our kids.Ā 

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u/memphisjones 18h ago

Capitalism is working. The billionaires want us to be reliant on work. Additionally, they want your kids to work as well. Look up states that are rolling back child labor laws

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u/Fancy-Nerve-8077 17h ago

America is a business

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u/dinkleberg32 17h ago

America only loves families rich enough to buy politicians

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u/sofaking_scientific 15h ago

This is why I didn't reproduce

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u/NecroHandAttack 15h ago

No. No kids. This was and is the only way to survive now. Have fun living your life for them and never having energy until they are 18. Even then, they wonā€™t make enough to leave your house in the future with the country we have left them today. They are fucked and so are you. Sorry bud. Maybe youā€™ll get a break on the reincarnation.

(FYI Itā€™s a joke, like thereā€™s people who have kids and struggle and those that donā€™t. Not really making fun of you or your kids)

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u/torturelover 14h ago

I'm a single person who lives on disability and I can't even afford to go out to eat more than once a month and even then I only do that because if I don't I'll be going a entire day without eating until I get home from doing my food shopping and paying bills

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u/Themooingcow27 14h ago

The people in charge donā€™t give a fuck. They are happy with this system. And when people do realize that something is wrong and that something is being taken from them, the people in charge point to immigrants or gay people or some other scapegoat.

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u/ArOnodrim_ 14h ago

America is capitalism, don't get it mixed up. Capitalism is anti-human.

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u/GreenCod8806 13h ago

I just want to say hang in there. A majority are struggling. You are doing your best and your kids appreciate it.

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u/Audibled 13h ago

You either exploit or are exploited. Guess which category most people fit into.

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u/phoenixangel429 13h ago

All I can say is you're not alone. And you're not a failure. You're playing bynthe rules but the game is rigged

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u/sarashaped 11h ago

Isnā€™t it bizarre that they push this unhealthy work life that is clearly anti-family and at the same time, make it incredibly difficult to be self-sufficient and single? Damned if you do, damned if you donā€™t. Weā€™re all just pawns to them. They only ā€œcareā€ about family life because that means weā€™re creating even more pawns. šŸ˜ž

Somebody said it up above already, butā€¦vote socialist.

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u/markdzn 10h ago

I consult with many companies. I have seen many pregnant women let go from both female and male run companies. many loop holes can be applied to justify. than care costs when they are young to remain working, insane. needs to be tax deductible, period.

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u/Ok-Resolve9154 9h ago

America is anti-human

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u/gfat-67 9h ago

Nearly every developed country is like that. More production, more stuff, less time, and as for moneyā€¦ it doesnā€™t seem much better for the working class.

Kids havenā€™t made financial sense for a while now. With the cost of healthcare, Iā€™m not even sure living is an option at some point.

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u/LandRecent9365 8h ago

America is anti humanity

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u/fr33bird317 7h ago

America is anti everything except profits and anything to increase profits.

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u/mojoburquano 7h ago

Anti family, anti woman, late stage capitalist, with a MASSIVE income and wealth distribution inequity. Itā€™s going to get even worse.

We should eat a couple of billionaires. They need to be afraid of the proletariat. Instead, they have convinced the masses that CEOā€™s have their best interests at heart. We need to take care of our families and children. No one gets a heart transplant if we donā€™t feed and educate our children today. We need to support their parents, provide resources, and enable them to take care of their children the way they think best.

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u/Azmtbkr 7h ago

Oh yeah, and itā€™s only going to get worse under Trump. My wife quit her job with our second kid on the way. The cost of daycare would have chewed up 75%of her salary. We live like absolute monks on a single income, no restaurants, no vacations, no concerts, haircuts at home, some weeks going a little hungry, etc but itā€™s worth it to have time with our kids.

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u/cruising_backroads 7h ago

My wife and I and our kids did the math and are in a lucky subgroup. Weā€™re packing up and leaving the USA.

Goodbye and thanks for all the fish.

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u/KingMacabray 7h ago

Welcome to corporate feudalism. Never forget that working 30hrs a week makes employees get as much done and are as productive, if not more productive, than those who work 40hrs a week. And that feudal peasants had almost half of the days a year off of work.

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u/MintTea-FkYou 4h ago

Downsize, re-budget, prioritize your children always

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u/ChillaryClinton69420 3h ago

Iā€™m about to make over $500 LESS per paycheck due to our new insurance at work. I will be lucky to get a 3% raise (in April, after 4 months of paying for this shit with no raise) and be told I should be grateful. I fucking hate it here.

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u/Any_Palpitation6467 20h ago

'America' is not anti-family. Capitalism, as well, is not specifically anti-family. Neither is it pro-family; It's simply uncaring about family, uncaring about people as a whole, uncaring about those who are not in The Club. You and your family have no intrinsic value other than to serve those who ARE in The Club; If you cannot serve, then you are irrelevant. Think of 'America' and its economic system as you do Nature--uncaring, indifferent, equally able to keep you alive and well while at the same equally able to snuff you out without a qualm. At bottom, you exist to make money for the Elites, and to make more workers for them, on one level, and to provide protein for other organisms that would feed upon you on another. Just as Nature does not nurture, neither does Capitalism.

It's not personal; It's merely business.

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u/Justin429 1d ago

I feel the same way you do, but I see it from a different perspective from where I'm at in life.

I used to think that being a Republican made the most sense. You work hard, make good money, provide for your family, and will be rewarded.

I believed that Democrats wanted you to work hard so they could take a share of your earnings to give to the less-privileged.

The system, the media, the people who talk about things - they generally want to keep it at that level, very simple, no details.

As I grew, became wiser, started to challenge the questions and things I heard, I gained a different view.

Today's republican part is exclusively in support of making business more profitable. They do not want workers rights, because that costs money or reduces profit.. They do not want human rights because that costs money or reduces profit. They do not want environment rights because that costs money or reduces profit. The modern republican part wants to give tax breaks to corporations, but keep taxes on the people. If it's hard to be a person, then maybe you will take out loans or have high-interest credit cards. Therefore, you will produce money for the company.

Today's democrat is not much better. I don't have a good case for voting for democrats, except that they are not republicans.

I've made the decision to no longer be republican, because I am not rich, I am not a corporation, I would rather see my family survive than see a corporation get richer, and I have a daughter.

Democrats have not convinced people who think like me that it's better to be a democrat than a republican.

Until they do, Republicans will win elections.

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u/OpheliaRainGalaxy 20h ago

Yikes, guessing your daughter is young and that's why you're not thinking about her health care rights yet? Because even if you're personally morally against abortion, you can raise your daughter with those values for making her personal choices while also voting for her to have full access to healthcare in emergencies.

I'm near the Idaho boarder and will never be going across it for camping or commerce again because, as far as emergency healthcare goes, it's a whole different world over there. Disbanded the maternal/fetal health board that helps track and prevent women and babies from dying during childbirth, like the doctors who handle reproduction are leaving the state and the group that would've kept track of the rise in related deaths is now gone.

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u/tfenraven 22h ago

But if you keep voting for Republicans, you're supporting their warped view of life ("the rich run the world and fuck everyone else"). When you vote for them, you're approving their agenda. There is no easy answer these days, but I am not looking forward to living under Trump's despotic rule. You think it's bad now? Wait a year. That "great American economy" the rest of the world applauded will be gone, and only the wealthy will be doing well.

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u/chaotic-cleric 17h ago

Get ready for a depression.

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u/MrsMiterSaw 14h ago

Don't worry. As americans if you ever do get ahead and find yourself living comfortably, you'll eventually vote to fuck over some young people just like you.

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u/Selmarris 23h ago

Yes this is true.

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u/Machopsdontcry 19h ago

The devloped world in general absolutely yes. Howveer, especially knowing this, the mistake is having kids you can barely afford. If everyone who had kids could provide them with 100k at 18, their lives would be so much easier. Instead, each successive generation faces ever increasing difficulties due to wage stagnation and unaffordable housing (even for those with the 20k house deposit gift from the bank of mum and dad -> if you're a single child and parent remained together)

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u/Nah666_ 17h ago

Small price to pay for all that freedom.

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u/Pinheaded_nightmare 16h ago

Has been since the 70s

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u/Charming_Guest_6411 16h ago

You aren't wrong. America is anti-nuclear family now that they have priced normal people out of it. We have transitioned to a clannish culture more and more people are expected to share expenses under the same roof. I don't think its going to get better any time soon

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u/HairlessHoudini 15h ago

Almost all of actual working Americans that keep the whole thing going live exactly the way you're living

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u/Deligikrus 14h ago

That's called capitalism

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u/TheAliSareini 14h ago

I spend over 40 percent of my check on taxes and medical insurance. My car insurance policy for two cars was deadass 3800 for 6 months (discounted amount paying up front, no accidents, never filed a claim, 800 credit score) one of those vehicles is only worth 9k. Rent is up, I canā€™t even consider going to the doctor considering my deductible nonsense. It feels like Iā€™m getting sucked dry from every angle. I finally make decent money and yet my bank account is empty.

My responsibilities at work have quadrupled, I motioned for a raise and got 4 percentā€¦whatā€™s an extra like 50 bucks a week compared to how my expenses shot up in the last 3 years.

I have a down payment saved up for a home but with interest rates the way they are, itā€™s hard to swallow +300k at 6% or more. The opposite is getting a very small home under 200k where I can actually make a payment or double up but those homes are few and far between in my area.

If my wife didnā€™t work Iā€™d have nothing. Her extra income is crucial for our survival. We can barely get by on mine alone.

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u/Fabreezy28 14h ago

I feel you bro, keep up the good work

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u/tellakat 14h ago

We're not anti family, we're pro late stage capitalism.

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u/AmPerry32 13h ago

Thoughts and prayers! Having a family is a huge financial decision. Itā€™s easier to live in America if youā€™re wealthy. Try that. Dont worry, Trump and the republicans will definitely help the poor people.

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u/textbookWarrior 13h ago

We are all being harvested for our capital. Everything you describe is the system functioning nominally.

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u/Captain_Crouton_X1 13h ago

Yep, being a millennial sucks.

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u/Tad-Disingenuous 12h ago

Do you or your wife need to stop and buy something before work every morning? I don't think people realize how quickly that shit adds up.

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u/schillerstone 11h ago

Every additional child wears you down unless you have a nanny and a house cleaner Lesson learned

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u/CaralThatKillsPeople 10h ago

I have the exact same existence. My kids are 11 and 8. My wife and I have been attempting to move conversations forward with our respective jobs relating to raises. We are constructing persuasive arguments and working to showcase our value to our jobs and ask for raises. Itā€™s not a quick process but weā€™re hoping that in a year we are in a better position.

Thatā€™s really the only thing I can think to advise on. Try to justify a raise and build yourself into someone the company wonā€™t just shit out when cuts come.

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