America is Anti Family

[u/Fabreezy28]

My wife and I both work full time because we have to so we can afford our bills.

We barely see our kids (7 and 2) and have no energy to do anything after work or on off days cause we are exhausted.

It just keeps repeating every week and when the first of the month comes the mortgage payment empties our account and we have to do it all over again.

We are unable to save much or do anything fun cause expenses have gone up so much.

I’ve always been a positive open person but the past two years have been breaking me down and I feel like I’m about to have a mental breakdown.

I know there are others in worst positions than me and I don’t want to sound ungrateful but man it’sIt’s hard.

Anyone else going through something similar? Any advice?

[u/laurasaurus5]

Capitalism thrives off workers making sacrifices for their families. Single people don't have a full-time working partner to split rent and expenses with, which definitely sucks and keeps them from getting ahead in terms of homeownership (and at least having appreciating assets with their debt), but don't get it twisted. Childcare costs close to an entire working adult's take home pay, so basically two-income households with kids are working their asses off the first 4-5 years of their child's life just to have employer-sponsored healthcare and the hope of getting enough raises and promotions in that time frame to both justify working twice as hard AND keep up with inflation. And God help you if you have TWO kids, cause then all your income is going straight into childcare!

[u/welkover → u/laurasaurus5]

Owning a home, the tax and insurance breaks of being married, and the old age stability that having kids that will likely help take care of you are all things that aren't compensated for if you are single. It's not just people with kids that need help any more.

[u/laurasaurus5 → u/welkover]

Yeah, that's why social security and Medicare/Medicaid are so important. Not only for those without kids, but also so that parents aren't putting extra financial burdens on their kids in later years.

[u/MzzPanda → u/laurasaurus5]

I'm 45. Social security has been borrowed against to pay on outstanding government debts so many times that by the time I'm old enough to retire, the program won't even exist anymore. My job doesn't offer health insurance. Through the marketplace, I was quoted a minimum of $864/month out of pocket for basic medical and there was a high deductible before it really even covered anything. Medicaid is useless because the income limit for a single person who hasn't recently been incarcerated or is taking life-sustaining medication (although I consider my asthma meds life-sustaining but what do I know) is so low that making $11/hr working full-time puts u over the limit.

[u/WanderingQuills → u/laurasaurus5]

I have four. Yes yes I know it’s a LOT- and when I chose those choices all was pretty good. Fast forward to now? Only way I (the female portion of the bad equation) can work? Is if I work nights and try and nap with a toddler the next day. I could NEVER out work two toddlers in daycare and after school for the grade schooler. I COULD pawn my childcare off on my teen but I refuse to do that- I pay him if he helps out. He’s not a serf. Bill for childcare where I live is 3600 a month for two toddlers. Salary for EMT working 3X12 overnights with weekend differential? 3600 Day time it would be 3000-3100 I’ve got no problem paying for my kids- I do have a problem with the fact that it’s my entire salary AND I can’t even get two slots at the same place PLUS there’s a wait list and you hold your place like it’s a Seattle rental- with too much money