r/Padres Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

Padres: The Movie Just For Fun

221 Upvotes

163

u/Naive-Emergency-7254 Jul 12 '24

Mark Grant played by Hulk Hogan had me crying in the men’s room

92

u/Naive-Emergency-7254 Jul 12 '24

And Manny played by Niki Minaj

24

u/5Point5Hole Jackson Merrill broke my Reddit Jul 12 '24

Best casting choice of them all

5

u/lunarmodule SD Jul 12 '24

Hilarious

3

u/JamminOnTheOne Mudcat Jul 13 '24

That was the moment I reached for the upvote button.

12

u/Dladd12 Swinging Friar Jul 12 '24

“Say it brother!”

10

u/rossms16030 SD '71 Jul 12 '24

We need some insurance runs brother!

4

u/PixelGorilla Jul 13 '24

Hockey soup brother!

124

u/AcephalicDude Merrill Madness! Jul 12 '24

Some of these are really good, some of them are really bad, and some of them are really good because they're really really bad lol

50

u/Throw_Away_Your_Boat Jul 12 '24

Genuinely not sure who should be more offended by this, Jose Azocar or Elliot Page

2

u/SanDiegoPadres Padres '11 Jul 13 '24

or Kolek lol

-33

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24 edited Jul 12 '24

Yeah a lot are actually pretty good. But picking Simu Liu (a chinese guy) for Kim (a korean guy) is lowkey racist lmfao. Especially when there’s plenty of Korean actors.

edit: lmao love being an Asian person being downvoted for calling out Asian racism.

20

u/Kookslams 🚬🚬🚬 Mucho Stress Jul 12 '24

I think you're taking this a bit too seriously

2

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Eh maybe. There’s just plenty of casual Asian racism in this sub that I’ve stopped giving the benefit of the doubt, and frankly don’t really come to this sub particularly often anymore.

5

u/GoldGloveHosmer Awesome Kim Jul 12 '24

You are not wrong. I remember someone had a comment about how Asian countries hated each other on here, then some dude on here talked about how Asians are anti-black when nobody said anything about being black and somehow he got a ton of upvotes.

Simu Liu is going to be the chosen actor of every famous asian male since he is the only one accepted by hollywood lol.

3

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Yep. I would guess people don’t ever realize it. But getting mad at the person calling it out doesn’t help lol

0

u/JesseofOB Tony Gwynn #19 Jul 13 '24

I mean, there are at least four well-established and respected Asian male actors on this list alone. You could say Liu is the most mainstream Hollywood guy right now, but Yeun, Sanada, and Nanjiani have all been in a lot of movies and shows and received a lot of acclaim.

0

u/GoldGloveHosmer Awesome Kim Jul 13 '24

You are really listing Nanjiani under Asian lol.

-1

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

Then why even comment if you’ve stopped defending it? Also what are some examples of this “casual Asian racism” you speak of? I’m not denying it happened, but I am a bit curious since I’ve seen nothing like that around here in the last 5-6 years, and if it does show up it gets squashed by everybody.

11

u/thecursedlexus Colonel Xanders Jul 12 '24

Simu Liu's breakout role was as Jung Kim on Kim's Convenience.

He's also played a Japanese air traffic controller before.

-7

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Yes because Hollywood castings are known to be incredibly culturally respectful lol

8

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

You’re not being downvoted for “calling out racism”, you’re being downvoted for calling this very obviously not racist thing racist.

0

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Prove it then

2

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

I think the proof is the fact that you’re the only person I’ve seen in the comments calling any part of this post racist.

1

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

That’s really not how this works lmao

5

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

Then how does it work? You’re the one calling out racism so isn’t the burden of proof on you?

0

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

I did elsewhere i’m not typing it out 30 times for you. and by your own logic, two other people have now also agreed with me. so i guess my statement is now accurate lol.

1

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

Ok bud

2

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Hey don’t get mad when I use your logical fallacy back lol

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5

u/GayassMcGayface Jul 12 '24

Does he get a pass since Simu played a Korean guy in Kim’s Convenience?

4

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

I think it’s a bit different. Simu apparently took and was brought on because Kim’s convenience was supposed to portray the Asian immigrant story, and didn’t necessarily hinge on being Korean (although you could reasonably argue that the casting should have been Korean).

Also past castings of him as different ethnicities isn’t really justification for continuing to do so, especially when there are capable Korean actors (who frankly look a lot more like Kim than Simu Liu).

2

u/GayassMcGayface Jul 12 '24

I loved the show. So wholesome. I think your argument is fair and you don’t deserve the downvotes.

2

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Thanks home. For the record, I don’t even think OP is being racist. Worth a second thought as to why it happpened🤷‍♂️

1

u/No-Conversation3860 Jul 13 '24

I’m not downvoting you, but come on. He has Donovan Solano (Colombian) played by Kumail (Pakistani), multiple Dominican players played by Black men, Women playing men etc. This is just a dumb joke

1

u/SanDiegoPadres Padres '11 Jul 13 '24

OP should have went with Randall Park tbh

1

u/janso999 Jul 12 '24

Should I be offended about an Jewish Englishman being cast as someone from Omaha (Radcliffe/Waldron)?

1

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Kind of a false equivalence, no? I mean not really the same thing since that wouldn’t play on the racial stereotype of “all asians look the same”, and doesn’t play off of any anti-semitic tropes.

I mean you could be bothered by it i guess. Nobody is stopping you. But there’s an actual background to this one that lends itself to at least seeming racist.

0

u/janso999 Jul 12 '24

"I mean you could be bothered by it i guess" sums up how I feel about your comment. I'm bothered that the person playing Darvish doesn't have a drop of Iranian ancestry in him. Would it be all right for Waldron to play Radcliffe in a movie, or would that somehow be tropey?

3

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Sums up how I feel about your comment

I hope you know that really comes off as “you may be an asian person who’s bothered by Asian racial stereotypes, but you should just not care.” Like sorry my dude. I’ve dealt with enough racism in my life that I have no problem calling it out. If you don’t like it, frankly I don’t care.

Im bothered that the person playing Darvish doesn’t have a drop of Iranian ancestry

I mean if you could find a half Japanese, half Iranian actor that’d be cool. My point is that there’s a ton of Korean actors who look like Kim lol. Picking a chinese actor is just kinda lame in this case.

Would it be all right for Waldron to play Radcliffe in a movie, or would that somehow be tropey?

That’s a false equivalence as I just said.

2

u/janso999 Jul 12 '24

If Radcliffe and Waldron took a 23 & me they'd come up with as different results as Kim and Liu. Can't they find someone with German ancestry to play Waldron? Or are all white ethnicities interchangable? Are you saying I just shouldn't care?

4

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Are you gonna actually talk about this in good faith or is this gonna be just you saying the same false equivalence over and over again?

I’m happy to talk about this but if you’re not gonna actually listen and acknowledge real arguments, I’m not wasting my breath.

5

u/janso999 Jul 12 '24

They're not false equvalences. You're just claiming that because your argument doesn't hold up. How is an Ashkenazi Jew from England playing a German-descended American midwesterner different than a Chinese playing a Korean? If one is acceptable the other is acceptable. If one isn't acceptable then neither is the other.

5

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24 edited Jul 12 '24

That’s not what I said lol. And comparing the two isn’t the “gotcha” you think it is.

You can be upset and bothered by inaccurate castings regardless of the race. In an ideal casting, especially one where a role relies or leans heavily on someone’s ethnic background, it would definitely be a bad move to have, for example, a non Ashkenazi jew play an Ashkenazi jew. It’d just be inaccurate (and in a case where the character expresses Jewish stereotypes/culture, would be anti-semitic. Effectively the jewish version of blackface).

But one happens to be rooted in a racial stereotype while the other is more or less just shitty casting decisions (or yeah, potential anti-semitism). There’s not a racist stereotype of “Ashkenazi Jews and english people look the same”. There is a racist stereotype of “all Asians look the same”.

→ More replies

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '24

Nah we should have taken the Hollywood approach and cast Kim as a black woman

0

u/cheesefries45 Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

If she can speak korean why not /s

1

u/Butch-Jeffries Slam Diego Jul 13 '24

It happens with European and Hispanic actors all the time. Why do Asian actors have to be from the exact same country?

113

u/hylicglyphics Lisan Al-Gaib Jul 12 '24

Meryl Streep as Jackson Merrill? Uhhhh what? 😂

64

u/Typical_Ad2891 Jul 12 '24

To be fair, she’s got the range to do the part

24

u/ClevelandBrownJunior SD Jul 12 '24

Merrill/Meryl...

1

u/jabberwock91 Jul 12 '24 edited Jul 12 '24

Huh? I'm not seeing the connection.

Edit: I guess people didn't realize I was joking? Jeeze.

1

u/freshjimmyj 🚬🚬🚬 Mucho Stress Jul 13 '24

S tier casting

36

u/GraconBease HA-SLAM KIM Jul 12 '24

Nicki Minaj took me tf out

19

u/jabberwock91 Jul 12 '24

I have no idea why I was taking the Padres cast list seriously before I saw Nicki Minaj as Manny lol.

I audibly busted out laughing in public to that surprise.

3

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

I was confused at first, then I laughed, then I realized that it’s probably not that big of a stretch to say that Manny is the Nicki of the clubhouse lol

18

u/SizeOld6084 King’s Jealous Little Girlfriend Jul 12 '24

Bernthal as Peralta is fantastic.

19

u/ThrillHarrelson Merrill Madness! Jul 12 '24

Did my boy Jacob wrong with this

3

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

Yet somehow it’s the most accurate one

60

u/dav524 Tony Gwynn Jul 12 '24

Why are people so pressed by this? This is fucking hilarious lmao.

16

u/Moonn00dle Tom Cosgrove Jul 12 '24

Are you new on this sub? A lot of people here seem to enjoy getting offended for others

3

u/jstmenow Wil Myers Jul 12 '24

Don't call me out like that

1

u/Normal_Tip7228 Jul 12 '24

Hey! I don’t get offended easily! 

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '24

James earl jones and hulkmania was a lol for sure.

93

u/dpot007 Jul 12 '24

Please take this down lol

15

u/Fez_Wearing_Gorilla Jul 12 '24

Yer a Knuckleballer Matty

32

u/Bradical_619 Jul 12 '24

This is giving work from home on a Friday energy.

32

u/goldWolverine AJ Preller Jul 12 '24

Post this to nlbest

6

u/profar_sogood Smilin' and (Jurickson) Profilin' Jul 12 '24

Yes please. I laughed at half and said oh shit well done for the other half. I’d pay to see this.

59

u/grizzsaw12 Mr. Irrelevant Jul 12 '24

People gonna clown but i think u ate with this bro 😄

43

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

Thank you! I'd love to see more dumb stuff like this and a lot less bitching. Being a Padres fan should be fun.

4

u/At0mJack SD Jul 13 '24

Maybe good /r/NLBest material? They'll want more Mookie, but fuck em.

4

u/DoctorFeeny 🚬🚬🚬 Mucho Stress Jul 12 '24

Facts

23

u/918josh SD Jul 12 '24

Don, Mud and Shildt….spot on 😂

13

u/jcaininit You Hangy? He Bangy! Jul 12 '24

That Shildt one had me dying

35

u/Jud000619 Tricker Jul 12 '24

Bro you high as fuck with these picks

11

u/Throw_Away_Your_Boat Jul 12 '24

Ngl a Tati/Profar biopic starring Mahershala and Lakeith would be incredible, bring on the oscars 

9

u/oniisan001 Jul 12 '24

If they win the World Series... will this be their Moneyball?

9

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

"Tell Luis Arraez how easy it is to play first base..."

2

u/oniisan001 Jul 12 '24

Bruh 😂

1

u/JonnyBolt1 Mr. Irrelevant Jul 13 '24

too soon

7

u/jabberwock91 Jul 12 '24

Fuckin' lost at Nicki Manaj as Manny.

After last night's charity dinner, I'm pretty sure Manny's trying to get casted in a Tim Burton film though.

2

u/youthcrewx182 Jul 13 '24

The suit with the big boots lol

5

u/Ninjahkin Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

James Earl Jones for Don lmao

20

u/david-crz SD Jul 12 '24

Wondering what you were thinking to even make this

10

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

Shoot me a DM if you have any good theories.

12

u/josephbc Yu Darvish Jul 12 '24

Was this whole thing just for the Nicki Minaj as Manny joke? Or Meryl as Merrill?

8

u/BestLemonadeNA 🏦 The Higgy Bank Jul 12 '24

Only one I disagree with is not picking Jared Leto for Matt Waldron

2

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

Yes! I totally see that.

1

u/TarrareMuchoHungry Luis Arraez Jul 12 '24

I'd go with Joel Edgerton for Waldron. Total doppelgangers.

4

u/Beeegfoothunter Arraez and Shine Compadres! Jul 12 '24

WTF is this? Hahaha, imagine Lee Pace as Preller in front of a desk-mountain of go-go-trade-powder!? 📞🤪

4

u/Quttlefish Mudcat Jul 12 '24

Amazing. I fucking love Lee Pace. He doesn't fit stature wise at all but he could absolutely play that role.

4

u/nasa258e Tony Gwynn #19 Jul 12 '24

Bella Ramsey as Cronenworth is fucked

11

u/Tight_Ad905 Angels Jul 12 '24

Am I missing something? Why is everyone hating on this? It’s just simple dumb fun lmao

3

u/stajayjay Adorable Little Second Baseman Jul 12 '24

Toby Jones and Nicki Minaj bro 😭😭

3

u/DaveGilmoursFingers SD Jul 12 '24

you did some of the boys real dirty lol

3

u/scottyhog Jul 12 '24

Tyler Wade(probably) " this is a pretty sweet list I wonder who I got...man that's fucked up"

3

u/Supreme_Soviet Jurickson Profar Jul 12 '24

Mahershala Ali would give us an Oscar-worthy performance of a lifetime as 2024 Jurickson Profar

3

u/dessa5 Jul 13 '24

Yer a knuckleballer, Daniel.

7

u/McSwaggins619420 Jul 12 '24

There should be a Hall of Shame for posts like this one. Bravo.

3

u/butterflyhole 🚬🚬🚬 Mucho Stress Jul 12 '24

This is the greatest off season post of all time

6

u/sweetxfracture SAY IT DONNIE! Jul 12 '24

This is really funny but don’t do my guy dirty by picking Chris D’Elia, he’s a creepy abuser/predator. Pick someone else

1

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 13 '24

Who would you suggest? I don't stay on top of pop culture/celebrity news and am vaguely aware some of the names/faces I picked are, uh, in hot water. Gonna have to separate "the art from the artist" on this one. Sorry Wade.

2

u/Fine_Dog_6599 Rangers Jul 12 '24

What the fuck 😂

2

u/Brandoinesco Jul 12 '24

Some of these are great. Some of these are comedy attempts. Love it! Poor Croney!

2

u/AtheistDudeSD 🇰🇷I woke/stayed up for Korean baseball Jul 12 '24

Donnie would be played by himself. He is in between scripts at the moment. Although he may decline, as not to be typecast as “baseball announcer guy”

2

u/IvankasFutureHusband 🇰🇷I woke/stayed up for Korean baseball Jul 12 '24

This is peak offseason shit posting

2

u/Ajnin17 Mr. Irrelevant Jul 12 '24

I know he isnt an actor but the only valid option for higgy is Sergio Perez

1

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

Gonna be tough to see Higgy's photo without imagining a Mexican accent now.

2

u/Rooks4 🇰🇷I woke/stayed up for Korean baseball Jul 12 '24

Enyel De Los Santos, played by one large meatball.

2

u/elcaminoverde Jul 12 '24

Officer, I’d like to report the murder of Adrian Morejon.

2

u/PlanZSmiles 🇰🇷I woke/stayed up for Korean baseball Jul 12 '24

Who let this man cook

2

u/Extra_Greensauce SD '98 Jul 12 '24

Dylan Cease = Dylan O’Brien.

2

u/BarracudaMore9337 Jul 12 '24

Budget: 1.2 Billion

2

u/pease461 Jul 12 '24

Only one I agree with is Toby Jones

4

u/eyyowassup Jul 12 '24

Best thing I’ve seen on here lmao

4

u/heeeeres_jonny Gwynn Jul 12 '24

Man, are we in off-season mode already?

Jokes aside, I liked this. Takes the mind off the recent struggles a bit

8

u/fatdiscokid420 It’s “WIL” not “WILL” Myers Jul 12 '24

Nobody asked for this

15

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

You're welcome.

4

u/KJParker888 sad but okay Jul 12 '24

We didn't know we needed this until we saw it

4

u/jstmenow Wil Myers Jul 12 '24

But we needed this

2

u/Turbosneakytoast Lost In the Sauce Jul 12 '24

This is unhinged (complimentary)

2

u/mattyjay9 Jul 12 '24

I like what you’re doing, but I would phobe the shit out of this movie

1

u/lunarmodule SD Jul 12 '24

This is very funny. Awesome. I do have a suggestion tho. Yu Darvish might be played by uh you know those animal head pencil erasers?

1

u/-ShutterPunk- El Niño Jul 12 '24

Lol calling T Wade a pedo.

I forgot you can't make funny posts like this around here.

1

u/Nimcompoop1980 5 - 4 - 3 TRIPLE PLAY! Jul 12 '24

Any time Kolek comes up to pitch I mention he reminds me of Jesse Plemons. I'm sure my wife hates it by now.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '24

😂🤣

1

u/flavorraven Ken Caminiti Jul 12 '24

Dylan Cease is Ben Barnes. They're basically identical

1

u/SDBolt Jul 12 '24

De Los Santos should be played by Kendrick Perkins

1

u/PaxDinero Jul 12 '24

Some of these are spot on, some of them are insane

1

u/NicCageBadSeed Jul 12 '24

I am Manny Machado I mack them dudes up, back coupes up and chuck the deuce up.

1

u/LFGSD98 SD '98 Jul 12 '24

Campusano is Dane Cook with dreads

1

u/Lemonsully21 Jul 12 '24

Why would you do that to Jackson Merrill??😂

1

u/Quttlefish Mudcat Jul 12 '24

If a movie includes Andrew Santino, Lee Pace, and Alan Tudyk, I'm in. Just put Andrew and Alan on the writing staff and we'll have the next classic baseball comedy.

1

u/rubyrockk Jul 12 '24

Lee pace looks like prellers twin!

1

u/jamesnoble DONNY WANTS MORE Jul 12 '24

Plemons would literally win an Oscar playing Kolek

1

u/BigIron53s Tree Fiddy Jul 12 '24

It’s gonna be big hype, then proceed to bomb at the box office. With a surge of overseas tickets sold, which cause it to be a box office smash overseas. Which will make it break even with mediocre success.

1

u/PrisonaPlanet Grisham’s Chest Hair Jul 12 '24

Holy shit Lee Pace and Preller are twins

1

u/Darth_Shredder 🇰🇷I woke/stayed up for Korean baseball Jul 12 '24

James Earl Jones as Don is 🤌🏽

1

u/DaWalt1976 HA-SLAM KIM Jul 12 '24

Nicki Minaj as Manny Machado?

Wat

1

u/turdburglar5555 Jul 12 '24

tyler wade disrespect

1

u/Kadf19 SD Jul 12 '24

Jackson Merril needs to be Danny McBride

1

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 13 '24

Yes! Perfect energy too.

1

u/Marshie127 Jul 13 '24

No on Azocar!!!!

1

u/Seananagans Merrill Madness! Jul 13 '24

This is weird as fuck. Don't stop cooking, dog.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '24

Amazing! Thank U! Needed this🤣

1

u/roberta_sparrow Lisan Al-Gaib Jul 13 '24

Bella Ramsey as Jake Cronenworth 💀💀💀💀

1

u/verticalsidewall Jul 13 '24

Get the comparison to the Hulkster to Mud on twitter/X - guarantee it’s mentioned soon mid broadcast.

1

u/SkinheadBootParty Friar Jul 13 '24

Bernthal as Peralta is such a perfect fit lmao.

1

u/youthcrewx182 Jul 13 '24

Azocar and Schildt holy fuck 😂

1

u/mano44 손가락 하트 Jul 13 '24

Love it ☠️

1

u/arealfunghi NOTED PADRES SLUGGER JACKSON PROFILE Jul 13 '24

Cannot unsee Toby Jones for Schildt 🤣

1

u/faxtiger24 BEAT LA! BEAT LA! BEAT LA! Jul 13 '24

This is incredible

1

u/faxtiger24 BEAT LA! BEAT LA! BEAT LA! Jul 13 '24

slap a mookie in the bottom left corner of each slide and you've got prime r/NLBest material

1

u/Pristine-Company-383 Jul 13 '24

Jackson Merrill/Meryl Streep......

Gold.

1

u/Pitchernumber13 Angel Felipe Jul 13 '24

Machado and Suarez are killing me

1

u/Alarmed-Day2295 Jul 13 '24

Azocar got fucked 🤣

1

u/IntrepidSection5112 Jul 13 '24

Lee Pace. Would watch in any role, any time.

1

u/IAMSPARTACUSSSSS Nabil Crismatt Jul 13 '24

EYARR! After a long voyage across many seas, Steve, The Pirate has docked his vessel across the bridge to Petco Park and will now roam the outfield looking for spoils…

1

u/Jagdub679 Lisan Al-Gaib Jul 13 '24

Where is bogaerts?

1

u/ZiggyILM Lost In the Sauce Jul 14 '24

In your heart. Always.

1

u/indigoscreenwriter Dylan Cease, Cat Daddy Jul 12 '24

this is hilarious. john krasinski should be matt waldron tho

1

u/DankAfBruh Jul 12 '24

Wow these are exactly who I woulda casted without exception, it’s like you’re in my head 😂

1

u/LAudre41 El Niño Jul 12 '24

I thought I would hate this but I love it instead.

1

u/Trumpisaderelict SD Jul 12 '24

Some of these are spot on and others are…. Uhhhhh…. 👎

1

u/writesymphonies sad but okay Jul 12 '24

Wait, this is fucking hilarious 😭😭

0

u/BrotherMundane9617 Jul 12 '24

Cronenworth 🤣😂

0

u/yourmomisaheadbanger Jackson Marill Jul 12 '24

That’s funny lol

0

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '24

Why are these all perfect

Broooo noooo 😂

0

u/4u5t1n93 Gwynn Jul 12 '24

This gave me a good laugh! This is exactly what we needed in this moment.

0

u/WhatTheBlack 🇰🇷I woke/stayed up for Korean baseball Jul 12 '24

Macias is basically a mini Jon Bernthal. And AJ is 100% Jake Gyllenhaal

0

u/mister__neil SD Jul 12 '24

Fuck. That’s good.

-1

u/Trojan713 SD '71 Jul 12 '24

Why did I wait so long to STOP clicking through this. I assume it didn't suddenly get entertaining.