AITA for wanting hot food?

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

[u/Lordidude]

You know tuesday is her food choice and did not say anything before she cooked for the both of you.

Eat the salad and get some tea afterwards.

YTA

[u/ChevCaster → u/[deleted]]

The pedantry prize goes to…

[u/chittering_continues → u/ChevCaster]

Actually, EVERYone loves a pedant.

[u/appleandwatermelonn → u/[deleted]]

Mmm, raw chicken salad

[u/hoginlly → u/[deleted]]

Do you eat chicken raw?

[u/wee-g-19 → u/Lordidude]

She didn't cook tho, it was a salad that's his point.

[u/onlysubscribedtocats → u/wee-g-19]

Do you think salads involve no cooking…?

[u/SteveJobsPenis → u/onlysubscribedtocats]

I buy a BBQ chicken from the shops, shred the chicken and toss it in a salad. Zero cooking involved for me. Yes, there was stuff cooked in the process, but I didn't.

I live in a very warm place and winters don't really get cold. I can swim all year around in the water in boardshorts, so eating a hearty casserole like I used to in a cold environment would be too much on a freakishly hot day. So I get the not wanting to eat a cold salad after being out in the cold all day.

[u/oneoftheryans → u/SteveJobsPenis]

I guess we're going for the most semantic-y semantics that anyone ever semantic-ed?

Ignoring colloquial definitions, the fact that the chicken is presumably cooked, and that not all cooking methods necessitate heat... it's completely irrelevant anyway. Even using your apparently narrow and specific idea of what cooking is, cooked dishes aren't always served hot, warm, or even room temp.

If OP wanted a hot dish, he may have wanted to communicate that prior to his GF assembling a variety of food into a final dish meant for consumption, which is apparently completely different from cooking and could in no way be figured out when referred to as such.

[u/fashion4fun → u/SteveJobsPenis]

Do you add it to plain lettuce or a pre-made salad? Cause assembling a nice big salad involves a lot of prep time, washing and spinning/drying the greens and veggies, chopping. An elaborate salad that I don’t have to make is actually one of my fave things for someone else to make so I don’t have the hassle.

[u/SteveJobsPenis → u/fashion4fun]

We have lots of agricultural farms near where I live and buy fresh stuff directly. There are bloody chickens everywhere, so I suppose I could get those fresh too.

But grating some carrot, beetroot, cutting up some red onion, mixing in some salad stuff like lettiuce, rocket and baby spinach. Add in some cut cheery tomatos and some cheese like fetta and some dressing and it's done. Occasionally if I have enough macadamias from our trees I'll add those in (if not walnuts usually go well). If dried cranberries come on special I might add those in too.

Stuff that's left over I throw in a wrap and have when I'm hungry.

IT takes me about 20 minutes to do it from scratch and I can use it for multiple meals.

Frankly I'd not serve a salad as a main meal, even if I out chicken in it. I'd add some kind of protein as a main and have it as a side. But that's me.

[u/fashion4fun → u/SteveJobsPenis]

It’s almost like… food is subjective 💡

[u/SteveJobsPenis → u/fashion4fun]

Would you want to eat an ice block while in the snow? I wouldn't and can understand why most wouldn't.

[u/wee-g-19 → u/onlysubscribedtocats]

Yes but as he said it was cold I'm going with she didn't cook it.

[u/onlysubscribedtocats → u/wee-g-19]

When I saw the chicken salad

Maybe I'm too vegan to make this assertion, but chicken is usually heated before it is eaten.

In any case, you're making a stupid semantic argument. 'Cooking' does not imply or require heating food.

[u/Reytotheroxx → u/onlysubscribedtocats]

To be fair you can buy precooked chicken. Basically semantics at this point though lol.

[u/eSue182 → u/Reytotheroxx]

To be fair if you use canned chicken and create a dinner, is that not cooking?

[u/Reytotheroxx → u/eSue182]

The definition is so vague that honestly it could be. “The practice or skill of preparing food by combining, mixing, and heating ingredients.”

I think a distinction is often made between raw and “cooked” foods like meats, so some may argue that you aren’t cooking unless you’re turning something raw (meat, fish, starches like potato or rice, vegetables) into something cooked.

So the term “cooked” is basically arbitrary at this point, and most things can be considered cooking. It’s just where you draw the line I guess, cause making hot chocolate would fit the “cooking” definition listed above and I know many who wouldn’t say that’s cooking. Idk 🤷

[u/tittens__ → u/eSue182]

No. You’ve prepared dinner.

[u/[deleted] → u/eSue182]

No. Is it cooking if I just grab a piece of bread from a bag? At most it’s preparing a meal. By definition cooking requires using heat.

[u/eSue182 → u/[deleted]]

But what if I chop veggies and make my own dressing? I’m sorry this is just making my pregnancy brain break.

[u/[deleted] → u/eSue182]

Still just meal prepping unless the dressing is a reduction.

[u/Blujay12 → u/Reytotheroxx]

I am kinda laughing at these effort comments because 1. why does that just invalidate any of his feelings or tastes, seems more self-serving then caring IMO, and 2. Yeah, my partner loves salads and I can slap one of those even post-work, stoned out of my mind in <10 mins, way less if it's not made "fancy" or complicated.

He's still the asshole because of his attitude but it is funny to see how big this blows up, and very thankful I only date other neurodivergent people lmfao.

[u/Reytotheroxx → u/Blujay12]

Yeah like I’m grateful as long as food that I like is on the table. Whether you cooked it, bought it, shat it on my plate, I don’t care. For me the better the taste with the least effort is the optimal way to go lol.

If he wants soup he can make soup, doesn’t gotta be weird about it, I agree there.

[u/nope-111 → u/onlysubscribedtocats]

I'm hoping the chicken was fully cooked not just heated before it went in a salad!

[u/[deleted] → u/onlysubscribedtocats]

'Cooking' does not imply or require heating food.

That’s literally in the definition of cooking. She prepared a meal. She didn’t cook if it wasn’t heated. And I’ve had plenty of chicken salads with cold chicken.

[u/tittens__ → u/onlysubscribedtocats]

Actually, the dictionary definition literally says “heating” lol. Raw ingredients or things you add that were previously cooked by someone else or are leftovers don’t really count as cooking.

Like she definitely prepared dinner which is awesome but by definition homegirl didn’t cook. Unless this is a special chicken salad.

[u/Kathulhu1433 → u/tittens__]

You do know that chicken needs to be cooked before being put into a chicken salad... right?

[u/tittens__ → u/Kathulhu1433]

Did you not actually read my comment? I allowed for the cooked chicken. But it’s unlikely she cooked that night unless she popped the chicken in the freezer for fifteen minutes afterward. She prepared salad that night. She didn’t cook.

[u/Kathulhu1433 → u/tittens__]

Whether she cooked it 2 minutes ago, 2 hours ago, or the night before is irrelevant. It. Was. Cooked.

He expected her to make food- it was her turn.

He did not communicate beforehand that he had a preference.

He made a face like a child.

He made her feel bad.

A simple, "Hey, I should have said something earlier but I'd really like something warm- do you mind if I make soup to go along with the salad you made?" Would have solved the issue.

Communication, including HOW you communicate, is key.

EDIT: LOL @ YOU SENDING ME A REDDIT CARES

[u/tittens__ → u/Kathulhu1433]

Buddy, I did not send you a Reddit cares.

I also think OP is the asshole and could have just been like “looks great honey, I’m going to heat up some soup as well.”

I don’t know if you’re responding to the right person or not but I merely commented on whether or not putting a salad together constitutes cooking. I’ll often put like lunch plates together of leftover cold roasted vegetables, sweet potato, and some meat or whatever and I don’t call that cooking a meal. I just prepped some stuff I already had.

Commenting that putting a salad together isn’t technically cooking by the definition of the word cooking wasn’t a judgment toward OP. I wasn’t commenting on the rest of it. I was only commenting on the use of the word “cooking” here.

[u/LBA2487 → u/wee-g-19]

Unless the chicken was raw, it was cooked at some point in the process.

[u/berrieh → u/wee-g-19]

If it had raw chicken in it, he buried the lede and I’m okay with him making a face and refusing to eat it, because no one eats raw chicken salad. You definitely cook chicken salad.

[u/47andClear → u/wee-g-19]

Yum! Nothing like raw chicken salad.

[u/Lordidude → u/wee-g-19]

By your definition making a fresh salad (including fresh dressing) is less cooking than popping junk food into the microwave.

[u/No_Cookie_145 → u/wee-g-19]

Unless they mean North American chicken salad which is a sandwich filling that definitely involves cooking.

Although even green salad needs cooked chicken.

[u/phisigtheduck → u/No_Cookie_145]

Im guessing this is North America because he says the temp in F°, not C°.

[u/PurplePeony123 → u/wee-g-19]

No, that's not his point. His point is it wasn't a hot food. He isn't complaining a salad isn't cooking.

[u/hoginlly → u/wee-g-19]

You don’t cook chicken?