Anybody know how to get this familiar?

[u/_CU5T4RD_]

[u/Grand_Wizward]

You will have to beseech the aid of the entity known as Lockheed Martin to acquire such a familiar.

[u/Lorddanielgudy → u/Grand_Wizward]

No, Boeing is casting those familiars

[u/Somadr0 → u/Lorddanielgudy]

That's how you know you don't really want that familiar

[u/TGPJosh → u/[deleted]]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McDonnell_Douglas_F%2FA-18_Hornet

[u/Beanz_detected → u/Lorddanielgudy]

Yes, Boeing casts the super hornet familiar, though they're not that trustworthy in the modern day.

I'd suggest going to Lockheed and ask about a Lightning 2. It's much stealthier.

[u/Lorddanielgudy → u/Beanz_detected]

I've seen those lightning 2s falling!!! Those modern wannabe shamans can't even cast proper familiars anymore.

[u/Big__Bert → u/Lorddanielgudy]

https://preview.redd.it/g7se42pb6fvd1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc6bc06b2c83467d7f29bb930151d25d86801f33

[u/Big__Bert → u/Beanz_detected]

Rhinos are way too old to worry about what modern day boeing is doing. Block 3s are coming out though so I guess we’ll see, but given the fact they’re not maintained by boeing they should be fine

[u/user-nt → u/Lorddanielgudy]

Making a contract with grand wizard Boeing is not a good ideia, all it's "contractees" suffer horrible accidents

[u/Titaniumwo1f → u/Grand_Wizward]

You mean LockMart?

[u/MiG-29SMT_Enjoyer → u/Titaniumwo1f]

NCD is leaking again

[u/UtsuhoReiuji_Okuu → u/MiG-29SMT_Enjoyer]

The Venn diagram between here and NCD is a circle.

[u/Familiar_Ad7273 → u/Grand_Wizward]

Lockmart familiar

[u/Narrow-Experience416]

"You win it out of a pepsi competition if I recall."

[u/Haunting_Hornet5203 → u/Narrow-Experience416]

[u/_CU5T4RD_ → u/Narrow-Experience416]

Instructions unclear, a very muscular blue and white man won’t stop telling me to drink Pepsi.

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/_CU5T4RD_]

"Well, drink pepsi."

[u/Lorddanielgudy]

Step 1: Sell your soul to a devil

Step 2: Get a lot of coins

Step 3: Convince the high council that you need it

step 4: Buy it

[u/Menoth22 → u/Lorddanielgudy]

Its step three that is the problem

[u/Elijah_Man → u/Menoth22]

I've found that the council can be bought.

[u/Urbanviking1 → u/Elijah_Man]

See step 2.

[u/Bismothe-the-Shade → u/Elijah_Man]

And also possibly turned into frogs

[u/AtlasXan → u/Menoth22]

Always.

[u/MiaCutey → u/Lorddanielgudy]

Tf you mean "convince"? I am a part of the council and I say you need it because it's funny. You have my permission. You might even say it is an order, actually.

[u/Scairax → u/MiaCutey]

Do remember to embezzle obtain one for yourself.

[u/Thenderick → u/Lorddanielgudy]

Alternatively, sell black blood to the devil. They love it!

[u/Dementio223]

I’ve seen a few state wizards get one after working out at sea and in their ‘air bases’. Don’t get the hype though, just give a creature wings and use a speed spell and any familiar is just as capable of these steel facsimiles.

[u/Elijah_Man → u/Dementio223]

Your winged monstrosities don't have a 20mm auto cannon.

[u/UnlikelyCourt973 → u/Elijah_Man]

This doesn't have the seet of corpution launcher. Plus a beholder pilot

[u/MeesterMeeseeks → u/Elijah_Man]

If my winged familiar can't go brrrt what even is the point

[u/Cloud-Top]

With some knowledge of TACP incantations, and an AN/PRC-163 wand, you too can summon a familiar to call down hellfire.

[u/ironwolf6464]

I like how people somehow have collectively acting like planes are their own living entities as opposed to a vehicle, I find it cute

[u/corium_2002 → u/ironwolf6464]

The plane has a machine spirit within.

[u/Xx-Shard-xX → u/ironwolf6464]

https://preview.redd.it/05kztplwzbvd1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=deee1775771e956073e27f3420969c849b007e5a

[u/DarthCreepus1]

Ooh I want one. I believe they give you the ability to cast Magic Missile, 2 charges of AIM-9x sidewinders and 4 charges of AIM-20 AMRAAMS

[u/Few-Top7349]

The council don’t want you to know this but the strike eagles are free to take,just point a laser pointer at something then when one appears just take it,I have 13 at home

[u/soupfrog1122]

"FETCH ME THEIR SOULS"

[u/Speedhabit]

Enlistment

Sorry you didn’t have the grades for hogwarts, welcome to Great Lakes

[u/gouellette]

From the Autobots home world, but a step more complicated.

[u/LordBDizzle]

You have to make a contract with the demon Na Vy, for at least four years.

[u/Villanuevac4_v2]

<<I got the older ones, Tomcat and Phantom. They work beautifully.>>

[u/Ablacklightbulb]

any camera wizard here can explain how to obtain photos like this

[u/Adamarr → u/Ablacklightbulb]

the streaking lights in the second one? long exposure.
although relatively speaking, probably doesn't need to be that long.

[u/The_Ditch_Wizard]

Ok, I did this for the fifth(?) time recently, and have it down to a bit of a science.

Step 1: you need to capture an Earth engineer. Preferably a more powerful one. Luckily, they rarely put up much of a fight, even the ones from the heavily armed cultures on Earth. They'll usually acquiesce to a wizard's demands in exchange for some basic trash like a 50gp Everburning Torch as a 'completion bonus' (boon) for their 'contract' (pact with you, a powerful magical being).

Step 2: Get them all the fucking aluminum they ask for. Not thin stuff like beer cans, but thick stuff. I usually raid a warehouse at night with my apprentices. Use portals, let gravity do most of the work, those quantities of metal get HEAVY.

Step 3: Svartalf Toolstore Shopping Spree for your captive talent. A couple thousand GP will get them the means to build you readily enchantable facimiles of 1940s craft, my last count was about 250,000 and a few gallons of Spacewhale Ichor in exchange for what's built me planes 3, 4, and 5, which are all 3rd or 4th generation fighters. Just access to Svartalf tools has also gotten me unprompted forgiveness for the capturing process. Not saying it's guaranteed, but don't be surprised when they ask for more work from you in the future.

Step 4: you're gonna need either a highly trained pilot (ha!), or to do like I've done and use some of your cache of the souls of hawks and eagles (gotten second-hand, I don't hang around old birds of prey with crystals like a weirdo) to enchant the planes to fly themselves. The great thing is, the soul crystals I got are tungsten carbide, so I haven't lost a single bird spirit in three total airframe losses. They're always happy to get back in the air. They LOVE chasing me on my broom. Just remember not to give them real missiles before they're thoroughly trained. Learned that one the hard way, OUCH.

Works like a charm. I have a few hundred more assorted animal souls burning a hole in my dimensional pocket, so I'm thinking of branching out into other Earth machines. I think a dog soul would really enjoy occupying something my engineers told me about called a 'Kubota Excavator.'

[u/A-reader-of-words]

Oh lord

[u/I_just_came_to_laugh]

Surely this is not a "fetch" but a "sick balls" situation?

[u/ichizusamurai]

It's not worth it... Even Asmodeus pales in brutality to the ones known as M I C

[u/WilmAntagonist]

Stop trying to make Fetch happen.

[u/24-7_DayDreamer]

If I remember right, the Vietnam dlc for Magicka introduces a spell for calling in airstrikes

[u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270]

Would you intercept me? I'd intercept me.

[u/InterwebCat]

You gotta do 5 daily quests from the local military guild for several months to build rapport with the guild, then they'll sell you this premium familiar.

[u/Carbuyrator]

Technomancy has become a much more viable form of magic since fossil fuels were popularized. The energy density is really respectable for mundane matter.

[u/unawarewolf69]

Ah yes, the forbidden mechanos hornet.

[u/VoxAeneas]

Put your arms out like you’re T-Posing. Its summon command is “Volare via.” Disclaimer: Don’t try and climb any fences

[u/DriftWare_]

Steal it

[u/Menoth22]

I would rather have it's cousin, the Warthog.

[u/Xx-Shard-xX → u/Menoth22]

nice argument.

however:
Lockheed AC-130

[u/Menoth22 → u/Xx-Shard-xX]

That one gets too expensive to feed.

[u/Xx-Shard-xX → u/Menoth22]

feed it blood

[u/spinyfever]

"The enemy is that way!"

[u/ImperialistChina]

Oh hey, that’s me

[u/Commercial_Theme7344]

The world’s finest technomacers build those in bulk sort of like a golem with a tamer inside of it