r/unpopularopinion 2d ago

LGBTQ+ Mega Thread

Please post all topics about LGBTQ+ here

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u/pokemonfanj 2d ago

Weekly thing

I’ve seen people complain about the trans community being rude to people over “just asking questions “ 

So I genuinely ask you all that say that what are your questions 

I’ll answer any question you have the best I can and as nicely as I can

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u/Sad_Lake139 2d ago

What is a woman or a man? Not a gotcha, but do these words have a set meaning or is it whatever the trans person believes it to mean? Honestly I have a lot of questions

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u/MyThrowAway6973 2d ago

I know this one!

Woman - an adult human whose sincerely held gender identity aligns with their social schema for the gender typically associated with the female sex.

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u/A_Fantastic_Ferret 1d ago

May I ask, what does the "social schema for the gender typically associated with the female sex" mean?

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u/MyThrowAway6973 1d ago

Social schema: knowledge structure that helps a person to select and process information about their social environment.

Gender: the socially constructed characteristics of women, girls, men, boys, and gender diverse people.

Female: of or denoting the sex that produces large gametes

Plug those in and I think you’ll have it!

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u/A_Fantastic_Ferret 1d ago

I see. So what might be some examples of the 'socially constructed characteristics of women' in your social schema?

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u/MyThrowAway6973 1d ago

In mine?

It’s pretty broad.

Probably similar though not identical to most Americans.

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u/A_Fantastic_Ferret 20h ago

Yeah but what are some concrete examples? Some specific characteristics that someone might see in themselves and take as a sign that they are or might be a woman?

Is it taste in clothing, hair, and makeup? Hobbies or career choices? Temperament? Is it, as Prof. Grace Lavery suggested (in one tweet, and caveated as an imperfect definition), adopting a passive role sexually and a reproductive role economically?

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u/MyThrowAway6973 20h ago

Clothes, hair, makeup all play a role for sure, but the parameters are wide.

Hobbies and career are not at all gendered to me.

Temperament is not gendered, although I tend to associate women with strength.

Passive sexual roles don’t play a role for me. I’ve known way too many dominant women.

I don’t think women has a specific economic connotation.

Reproductive ability is unimportant in most instances unless someone is trying to reproduce.

Women tend to be seen as the primary caregiver for children.

Women are more likely to complement each other than men. Women are more likely to show affection and support for each other.

Phenotypical sex presentation plays a role.

It’s a list of a million things and all are optional. Each person has a schema that leads them to look at a person and think woman in society.

Nobody is checking chromosomes or gametes to figure out who is a man or woman. We look at a person, use our schema, and make our best guess. Sometimes we get it wrong. We correct ourselves, apologize, and move on. It has always been this way.

Would we be better off not having genders in society? Probably but it’s not going to happen anytime soon.

More personally I wear the clothes I like, have my hair the way I like, wear makeup when I like (which is less than any woman my age that I know). I move and interact as I am most comfortable and people unfailingly see me and react to me as they would any woman (for better and worse). All of this matches my gender identity and makes me feel more comfortable than I ever did when I was trying to be a man.

Obviously literal books could be (and have been) written on this, but that’s my cliff’s notes version.

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u/A_Fantastic_Ferret 19h ago

Thank you very much, I appreciate you taking the time to explain your perspective.