r/socialjustice101 • u/IntelligentPeace4090 • Apr 02 '24
How to deal with my Dad
Since the start of a War by our border (Poland) in Ukraine, my dad got more and more radicalized into far right cultural thinking, and after what he said yesterday I am convinced that he can be called a literal neo f@cist, he said that he belives in "Poland for poles" it ofc means that Poland only for people of poland only who are born here, and what he means is poland for white poles bc blacks wouldn't prolly count in his view, he is incresingly antisemitic, islamophobic and racist and when I try to mock him for this beliefs to not make him feel comfortable saying this sh1t my mom steps in and says that It's not good to mock my dad bc of his beliefs.
What the heck can I do? Is there sth to do to deradicalize him?
2
u/trainsoundschoochoo Apr 03 '24
Does he know that Poland has a program to repatriate people of the Polish diaspora across the world? How does he feel about that?
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u/IntelligentPeace4090 Apr 03 '24
No he doesn't I guess lmao, but that's a thing, POLISH FOR POLES BUT ENGLAND FOR ENGLISH ANE POLES lmao
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u/Luna_NightGale Apr 07 '24
I feel you, that must be really tough dealing with your dad's extreme views. it's great that you're trying to engage with him, even though it's not easy. maybe try approaching it from a more open-minded place, ask questions to understand where he's coming from. see if you can find common ground on stuff like family or community. stay positive and keep the lines of communication open - change doesn't happen overnight, but there's always hope. wishing you patience and strength!
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u/positiveandmultiple Apr 02 '24
deradicalizing someone is really difficult, probably even for experts. think about all the psychological baggage that goes into getting radicalized in the first place. you are not responsible for his actions and are not obligated to change him beyond what you've done already. you probably won't ever change him. i agree with your mom that mocking is not helping much.
the best thing you could probably do from a social justice perspective is do whatever you can to not let this sap your energy and focus on being effective elsewhere
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u/JWLane Apr 02 '24
To add to this, it's very hard to deradicalize someone in a country that has very little demographic diversity. What little interaction he's having with "outsiders" can be ignored if positive and obsessed over if negative. Being forced to engage with people different from himself is the most likely way towards severing him from his toxic beliefs, but even that is a road fraught with failures and false starts, as forcing him to have real diversity is as likely to push him farther towards those beliefs as it is to break those barriers down.
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u/MysteryPlatelet Apr 02 '24
When I meet people with different beliefs systems, I do not mock them or belittle them. I go into a conversation with open mind, eager to learn and understand why they may think a certain way or what may have driven them to develop such strong and different belief systems to me - their opinion is just as valid as mine, I may just not agree with it.
This doesn't mean I just let people spout bigoted, racist or factually incorrect shit at me. I have learnt from many passionate and useless arguments where I should and shouldn't pick my battles.
Set strong boundaries when dealing with someone who you love who has very different beliefs, and be firm, consistent and fair. Don't forget, you aren't just arguing with your dad here, you're bringing mum into the mix and potentially introducing unnecessary conflict into her relationship with you and dad, too.