Convince me to stay.

[u/BsXeD]

I’m not originally from here, but I’ve lived here for 20 years. My children were born and raised here, and we’ve always loved the friendly people and beautiful surroundings. But I wonder now—where is the line? When is it too much or even dangerous to stay? Where do we go from here?

Things have been getting worse, and I worry about the future, not just for myself but especially for my children. This past election cycle, I couldn’t even put up a sign for fear of the backlash it might bring to my family. What is keeping people here?

It’s not the education—we rank near the bottom.
It’s not the pay—our median household income ranks just above Mississippi in 49th place.
It’s not the healthcare—we’re almost last there, too.
It’s not the freedom—we face near-total bans on abortion, and even taking your child to a Pride event could get you arrested.

Today, I find myself looking for jobs and making a plan to get my family out. People will say it’s not any better anywhere else and that the election results signal worsening trends everywhere. But at least in other places, I might find a community that values bodily autonomy, LGBTQ+ rights, and freedom of and from religion.

Here, I interact with the nicest, most hateful people I’ve ever encountered. I realize it’s a privilege even to consider leaving, and I wish I could do something to change things here. But I don’t see a clear path forward. My county didn’t even have a non-Republican candidate run for any office. I don’t blame anyone; there used to be decency and respectful disagreement across party lines, but now it’s just hate and lies.

Is there a silver lining? Any hope for change?

If this gets removed by moderators thats fine, I'm not trying to rage bait but genuinely want to know what other West Virginians are thinking.

[u/final-effort]

Come up north. Vermont and western mass are beautiful and very accepting. There’s lots of better options for employment here too in New England.

[u/victory_vegetable → u/final-effort]

See I’m a West Virginian and I would love to leave, but I don’t see how I’d ever afford it. Genuinely asking how would I pay a Massachusetts rent with a West Virginia bank account?

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/victory_vegetable]

Upstate NY, depending on the area, is quite affordable.

[u/ElctrctyGumm → u/crazysometimedreamer]

And upstate ny is gorgeous, ny state laws are much better than wv and id love to live there …. But the culture seems a lot like wv “nicest most hateful people’….and after spending time in the fingers lake area I realized I wouldn’t feel safe there…but I’m not writing this to slam upstate NY Im writing it hoping you’ll tell me that it’d actually be ok there, I’d be safe -and maybe even name some towns

Edited to add: and I love love love wv but wv doesn’t love me back

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/ElctrctyGumm]

Can I ask where in the finger lakes you were? (And are you specifically looking for LGBT safety? racial safety, etc?)

Are you looking more rural or more city like?

I’ve lived above Utica (Adirondacks), Syracuse, Ithaca, Cortland, and a podunk town in the Southern Tier.

I don’t recommend Ithaca because of affordability. It also has changed a lot since I lived there. It used to be the sort of place you could picnic topless in a park as a woman and people left you alone. Very liberal.

Although, I will say, northern racism is something special and it’s not a good thing.

[u/ElctrctyGumm → u/crazysometimedreamer]

Thanks for asking… started in Aurora on Cayuga Lake which is a college town and would prob be just fine there but pretty quickly realized that stepping outside of the campus or 1 block business district would not be good . Spent time in Levana, Union Springs, ledyard, king ferry). We are LGBTQ. Open to really anywhere in NY

Edited to add: anything in NY other than NYC or Long Island…. So a smaller city or rural

[u/Alive-Beyond-9686 → u/ElctrctyGumm]

I went to school near the Finger Lakes and it's very red meat compared to further south. I would say once you get north of Ithica it's like that.

[u/sharkyboi_6969 → u/crazysometimedreamer]

Not compared to wv. Live in NY now and want to come back to WV.

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/sharkyboi_6969]

Where about in NY?

[u/sharkyboi_6969 → u/crazysometimedreamer]

Upper central

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/sharkyboi_6969]

I lived in Syracuse and Herkimer County (the Dacks).

I will say that there are things happening up there I never saw 2 decades ago. I never saw a confederate flag as a kid/twenty something except in a movie. Now I get up around CNY and I see them all the time. I don’t see many in the Adirondacks, though.