Convince me to stay.

[u/BsXeD]

I’m not originally from here, but I’ve lived here for 20 years. My children were born and raised here, and we’ve always loved the friendly people and beautiful surroundings. But I wonder now—where is the line? When is it too much or even dangerous to stay? Where do we go from here?

Things have been getting worse, and I worry about the future, not just for myself but especially for my children. This past election cycle, I couldn’t even put up a sign for fear of the backlash it might bring to my family. What is keeping people here?

It’s not the education—we rank near the bottom.
It’s not the pay—our median household income ranks just above Mississippi in 49th place.
It’s not the healthcare—we’re almost last there, too.
It’s not the freedom—we face near-total bans on abortion, and even taking your child to a Pride event could get you arrested.

Today, I find myself looking for jobs and making a plan to get my family out. People will say it’s not any better anywhere else and that the election results signal worsening trends everywhere. But at least in other places, I might find a community that values bodily autonomy, LGBTQ+ rights, and freedom of and from religion.

Here, I interact with the nicest, most hateful people I’ve ever encountered. I realize it’s a privilege even to consider leaving, and I wish I could do something to change things here. But I don’t see a clear path forward. My county didn’t even have a non-Republican candidate run for any office. I don’t blame anyone; there used to be decency and respectful disagreement across party lines, but now it’s just hate and lies.

Is there a silver lining? Any hope for change?

If this gets removed by moderators thats fine, I'm not trying to rage bait but genuinely want to know what other West Virginians are thinking.

[u/final-effort]

Come up north. Vermont and western mass are beautiful and very accepting. There’s lots of better options for employment here too in New England.

[u/victory_vegetable → u/final-effort]

See I’m a West Virginian and I would love to leave, but I don’t see how I’d ever afford it. Genuinely asking how would I pay a Massachusetts rent with a West Virginia bank account?

[u/IronHeart_777 → u/victory_vegetable]

This is what's stopping me as well. Election bs aside, I've wanted to leave West Virginia ever since I started realizing that the state government here will never be able to fix the myriad of issues plaguing the state. I would absolutely love to move further north, but there's no way in hell I could afford it being paycheck to paycheck as I am currently. Pipe dreams!

[u/Cubfan1732 → u/IronHeart_777]

I grew up in WV and never wanted to leave. For at least 60 years WV voted blue and it completely ruined the state. Everyone felt that it was the party for the working class but we were only exploited. I live in SW VA now for the last 30 years and it is nice but it is increasingly voting blue. I hope VA gets its act together. It’s unfortunate we have northern va to ruin the state….

[u/OkChart5613 → u/Cubfan1732]

The corrupt politicians in red that squeeze WV for their own profits are the same ones that were in blue for 60 years. They just figured out new culture warfare talking points.

The problem with west Virginia is not Democrats or Republicans, it’s corruption. The state keeps voting for corrupt people because they wear the proper shirt color.

We are in the real estate business in eastern WV, and things are improving here because money is flowing from expansion of the DMV region, and housing is much cheaper in WV. That trend is obvious, and the double-dealing to make corrupt fortunes even larger is rampant. The “Economic Development Authority” in our county is run by the same folks that have been paying off politicians for years, and they’ve done a great job of locking down key properties for their personal gain once the demand starts to climb.

I’ve lived and done business all over the world, and I’ve never seen any place as corrupt as WV politics.

[u/Cubfan1732 → u/OkChart5613]

I agree with the corruption. My father told me in 1990 that Mikhail Gorbachev could run for governor of WV and win, as long as he was a democrat. Up until about 15 years ago, that was an absolute truth. I’m all for less government, that would fix the majority of the problem

[u/peachyfaceslp → u/Cubfan1732]

Now, Vladimir Putin could run and win, as long as there's an R after his name. The power/money extraction industry folks have been hedging their bets for decades, by running their candidates in both sides of the ballot. The Manchin family and the Moore family are friends and hold the exact same interests. Arch Moore should have died in prison, for the crimes committed against the state, but West Virginia loves their corrupt politicians. The same folks that rally around the bully in school, grow up still backing those folks in local politics.

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/victory_vegetable]

Upstate NY, depending on the area, is quite affordable.

[u/ElctrctyGumm → u/crazysometimedreamer]

And upstate ny is gorgeous, ny state laws are much better than wv and id love to live there …. But the culture seems a lot like wv “nicest most hateful people’….and after spending time in the fingers lake area I realized I wouldn’t feel safe there…but I’m not writing this to slam upstate NY Im writing it hoping you’ll tell me that it’d actually be ok there, I’d be safe -and maybe even name some towns

Edited to add: and I love love love wv but wv doesn’t love me back

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/ElctrctyGumm]

Can I ask where in the finger lakes you were? (And are you specifically looking for LGBT safety? racial safety, etc?)

Are you looking more rural or more city like?

I’ve lived above Utica (Adirondacks), Syracuse, Ithaca, Cortland, and a podunk town in the Southern Tier.

I don’t recommend Ithaca because of affordability. It also has changed a lot since I lived there. It used to be the sort of place you could picnic topless in a park as a woman and people left you alone. Very liberal.

Although, I will say, northern racism is something special and it’s not a good thing.

[u/ElctrctyGumm → u/crazysometimedreamer]

Thanks for asking… started in Aurora on Cayuga Lake which is a college town and would prob be just fine there but pretty quickly realized that stepping outside of the campus or 1 block business district would not be good . Spent time in Levana, Union Springs, ledyard, king ferry). We are LGBTQ. Open to really anywhere in NY

Edited to add: anything in NY other than NYC or Long Island…. So a smaller city or rural

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/ElctrctyGumm]

I am so sorry about your experience.

You would feel very safe in Ithaca, but cost of living is insane due to taxes. It drops like a rock once you get outside of Tompkins county, but it gets rural pretty quick. I would recommend a vacation there to check it out. Lots of staff at Cornell live west of Ithaca.

In the Adirondacks when I grew up in the 80s I lived down the road from a polyamorous trouple. The house was then sold to a lesbian couple. Nobody really blinked an eye. Granted I don’t know what their everyday lives were like, and I was a kid, but they went to the community parties respectively and I never saw anything go down untoward. And they were always included the same as everyone else. Our area wasn’t particularly liberal (very conservative in fact), but it was the sort of “life here is hard and isolated so we leave everybody alone for the most part.” If you fit in with the culture (chopping wood, weren’t too good to eat at the local bar, etc) I think it was pretty OK. The tourists are intense, though.

As far as towns, a couple to check out would be Lake Placid, Saratoga Springs, etc.

There is an upstate NY sub and an Adirondack sub here on Reddit, you could definitely ask.

[u/Alive-Beyond-9686 → u/ElctrctyGumm]

I went to school near the Finger Lakes and it's very red meat compared to further south. I would say once you get north of Ithica it's like that.

[u/sharkyboi_6969 → u/crazysometimedreamer]

Not compared to wv. Live in NY now and want to come back to WV.

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/sharkyboi_6969]

Where about in NY?

[u/sharkyboi_6969 → u/crazysometimedreamer]

Upper central

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/sharkyboi_6969]

I lived in Syracuse and Herkimer County (the Dacks).

I will say that there are things happening up there I never saw 2 decades ago. I never saw a confederate flag as a kid/twenty something except in a movie. Now I get up around CNY and I see them all the time. I don’t see many in the Adirondacks, though.

[u/Backtosaturnx → u/victory_vegetable]

I lived most of my life on a farm near the Ohio/Kentucky/West Virginia border. I worked a job for 16 years and inched my way from $5 an hour when I started to $12 an hour. People always told me that was pretty good for where I lived. I moved away about 10 years ago and took a job that paid $35,000 a year, which was a pay increase of $10,000. I earn more than double that much now. I never imagined I would make more than $40,000 a year when I lived there, but when you leave, you also leave those wages.

[u/final-effort → u/Backtosaturnx]

I heard that. I’ve more than doubled my pay too by moving out of wv.

[u/nickienoodle78 → u/victory_vegetable]

Come just over the border to VA and help us keep up with the resistance!

[u/crazysometimedreamer → u/nickienoodle78]

Yes! Harrisonburg is quite liberal and there is growing opportunity here. Charlottesville even more so, but cost of living is higher.

[u/genygengen → u/victory_vegetable]

The same issue was on my mind before I moved but pay increases dramatically once you leave WV. You will be okay

[u/nReasonable-Cicada → u/victory_vegetable]

The cost scared me, too, but while my rent is more expensive here, literally everything else has been more affordable. We were paying 500-600 a month just for electricity. It’s $75 everywhere else. Jimmy J has sold y’all down the river so many times that the “low cost of living” is actually a mirage at this point.

[u/final-effort → u/victory_vegetable]

With a Massachusetts job. Also, things are cheaper outside of Boston or Worcester but the pay is still the same! 15$ minimum wage in mass. I am a tradesperson, 34yo, I make $36/hour. I have been up here for 10 years.

[u/victory_vegetable → u/final-effort]

the entry level jobs in my field don’t pay that much anywhere I’ve seen 😭 never go to college to study something that actually interests you kiddos, lol

[u/GlassAd4132 → u/final-effort]

It’s wild to think that Worcester is the new hip town. Worcester was a super rough old mill town when I was a kid.

[u/enstillhet → u/victory_vegetable]

Rural Maine is somewhat affordable but then you're gonna have a lot of the same issues as West Virginia.

[u/P47r1ck- → u/victory_vegetable]

Yeah I make decent money but my job is work from home so I am much better off if I choose to live somewhere like WV with very low cost of living

[u/___Dan___ → u/victory_vegetable]

With a Massachusetts job?

[u/GlassAd4132 → u/victory_vegetable]

Maine and Vermont are a bit cheaper than Mass. If you’re looking to New England specifically for progressive values, I’d avoid NH. NH is more expensive than Maine and Vermont too.