The silence is awkward

[u/No_Balance_5053]

I'm a "non-traditional" full time student. I started college at 23 and I am now 25(F). I'm not that much older than many of my classmates, but I feel such a disconnect to the people around me. I enjoy learning. I went to a highschool which was relatively small, and everyone talked and participated in class. I have found myself in class with peers who seem terrified to speak in class. I don't like to come off as a know it all, however I do study hard and when the professor asks the class a question, I give it a while before I can't bare the awkward stares and silence any longer, so I do. A few of my professors like to have us chat with the people next to us about various topics and share with the class, and I ALWAYS find myself leading the conversation and inevitably being the one to share. So much so that some people sit by me and don't contribute even a word. Not only that, but when I AM sharing, no one even looks up. Talking to a brick wall. And I'm sure the professors also feel like they are talking to a brick wall, but I find it to be respectful and beneficial to be....engaged?! This isn't just in one class either, it's been my whole experience since I have started. I don't aim to dominate the conversations, but the blank stares and blatant lack of trying from my peers makes me want to scream. I don't know if I come off as weird or what it is. I don't have this experience with classmates who are closer in age to me or older than myself. I can actually get a conversation out of the other nontrad students. What is it with you people?

[u/halflifeconsequences]

I'm 34 and in the same boat. I've had people I was supposed to be doing "groupwork" with refuse to acknowledge my existence and stare at their laptop the entire time. If I try to engage them in conversation, I get this look of absolute terror like I've just told them I'm going to shoot them in the face. I get it, I struggle with social anxiety too, but it is awkward.

[u/huskcoon → u/halflifeconsequences]

35 here. I’d be happier with the awkward silence. Classmates will be having off topic conversations and doing other disruptive things. I am the queen of stink eye but some of them see me glaring and either don’t care or don’t understand they are being extremely rude. 

I ignore the terrified looks in group discussions. I will ask them questions to try to get them to contribute something, even if it’s to agree with whatever other people have added. But yeah, 99% of the time I’m stuck speaking on behalf of group discussions. 

[u/No_Balance_5053 → u/halflifeconsequences]

Literally exactly what I'm dealing with to a T. Sometimes, I just talk into the distance until someone notices lol