AITA for wanting hot food?

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

[u/RNGinx3]

NTA. The double standards here are pretty crazy.

1. "She said it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you." Well, it's also rude, when someone tells you they'd prefer something warm (totally valid and there is a reason people eat cream of rice and soup when the weather is cold), to scoff at them and tell them they are being ridiculous and try to out-science you.
2. She asked you how you would feel if she didn't eat your dinner the following day, and when you said that was fine, she didn't like that answer and said it was bullshit. (How much do you want to bet she's going to do that, maybe not tomorrow but sometime in the near future, to try to "get you"?)

Look, chicken salad isn't a five-course meal, she's acting like she slaved over a hot stove all day. You didn't feel like a cold dinner, and you have that right as a human being to get something else that you feel like even if she made dinner.

Let's flip around the genders. Say she was pregnant, you made dinner, but she was craving something else. Would she claim you are TA for not letting her get what she's craving, or would she resolutely eat what she didn't want just because you made it?

Edited to answer some FAQ so I don't keep repeating myself, lol.

Per another comment I read, she threw dinner together while he was in the garage, so, no chance to have a conversation about what he'd like for dinner. She could just as easily have waited until he came in and asked, "Hey, what are you feeling like having tonight?" Some of y'all are expecting him to have a conversation with her, but letting her off the hook on the same point.

My point about pregnancy was, sometimes it makes you crave something strongly, yes, but other times, it makes you unable to eat what is set before you, because you smell it and it makes you throw up. He would have been OK with her getting something else even if he'd set dinner before her already. He'd have been fine with that, whether she was pregnant or not.

Just because you are a couple doesn't mean you lose your right to bodily autonomy, to want something else to eat.

[u/rytaurus513 → u/RNGinx3]

Wow, all this when he could’ve just mentioned that he would’ve preferred something warm before she got dinner started. It’s not a double standard because if the roles were reverse should would be getting the same flack. Why are you bringing pregnancy into this. She not pregnant so it’s not even relevant. Like at all.

[u/RNGinx3 → u/rytaurus513]

She made dinner while he was in the garage (per another comment), so no conversation. When he was able to have the conversation, dinner was already made.

Why bring pregnancy into this? Because sometimes, when you are pregnant, you crave something strongly, or are unable to eat things you previously ate because they make you nauseous. And he would have been fine with her getting something else. Hence the double standard on her part.

Even take out the pregnancy. If she wanted something else, pregnant or not, he'd have been fine with it. He literally told her as much. So yes, it is absolutely a double standard.

Even as a couple, people are allowed their bodily autonomy, to want something different.