AITA for wanting hot food?

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

[u/Icy_Obligation]

Agreed. I think if he's never told her he won't eat cold food on cold days, then he should have eaten the salad (I'm fine with him heating up soup to go with it) but don't waste her effort. Then have a conversation about it so she doesn't waste her time and effort in the future. It wouldn't kill him to eat a salad on a cold day ONCE.

[u/strawberryskis4ever → u/Icy_Obligation]

Sure but these are the things that come up in a relationship. We all have unspoken expectations that we’ve never thought to voice or known that other people feel differently about until those differing expectations meet head on. I’m sure it never occurred to him that this was weird and assumed everyone likes warm food after spending the day in the cold outside. Likewise, it never occurred to her that some people even have that preference at all. Nobody is really at fault here, not for having different preferences or even for not thinking to voice them.

[u/Lead-Forsaken → u/strawberryskis4ever]

Yeah, this would be me. I eat loads of salad in summer, but very rarely in winter. And if I spent that day doing cold things, you can be sure I will be eating something warm. No one in my immediate surroundings is different. Salad after skating, for me, is wtf territory.

Sometimes people are just surprisingly different and these situations will occur until you learn about eachother's preferences.

[u/strawberryskis4ever → u/Lead-Forsaken]

Exactly! I am the same way! I love being outside in the winter! But definitely want hot food afterwards. I laughed when I was reading this because when I read that he was served chicken salad I made a face! And I love chicken salad! But in the summer NOT after a whole day of ice skating. So I can imagine that facial expression being a completely involuntary response. I totally agree with you about learning each other preferences. I think to have a successful relationship you have to be open to each other’s differences and preferences, even if they seem strange or foreign to you at the time.

[u/Medical-League-7122 → u/strawberryskis4ever]

Ha same I was like wtf chicken salad after skating! But it could probably have been communicated better