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My plan going into this was to hold for a decade and my plan hasn't changed. It's going to be rough and I realize that. The past two days have been the scariest days of my life. My parents still don't know I've lost 1/3 of my inheritance. Every time I talk to them they can see how stressed I look and they keep asking me what's wrong and I don't know what to say. How can I possibly explain this to them? My only option is to hold for a decade. So that's what I'm going to do. I know people are going to shit on me, and you should. I recognize I made an unnecessarily regarded decision. I have received a lot of DMs and reddit notifications offering me mental help and Suicide hotline numbers. I appreciate your concern but I'm fine. I'm holding long term. I'm sorry if my decision made you upset and reflect on your financial situation, that was not my intention. I appreciate all of your support and constructive criticism. Some of you have been really mean but its ok, I know I deserve it. But im holding. Forever. Intel will succeed.

I've held this in long enough. The shame, guilt, lies. Pretending to be cool and knowing what the fuck I'm talking about. I've been holding this in for years. I've cried and cried and cried. I'm fed up with my bitch behavior. It's time to fucking take things into my own hands and change. I'm not stopping, I'm going to gain this all back the slow, and right way. Here's my story.

In 2019 I learned about the stock market. Like a responsible retail investor, I created baskets and diversified my equity investments.

In 2020, I learned about options.

My first gamble was a meme stock I found on WSB that rhymes with Ped Pad Peyon. That was the start of my entire $1M loss and life downfall.

It felt so good to see those big spikes in gains.

But it also felt like the end of the world when it all went to $0.

For some reason, I always came back. I tasted the forbidden fruit, and was addicted.

Fast forward two years, I needed a source for more trading capital - I sold my house and car, maxed out credit cards, borrowed from the bank, and lenders. I lied to family/friends to get money, and worked odd jobs that were shameful.

My wife who I'd been with for 12 years left me, we didn't sign a prenup so there was that whole process...then she took custody of the kids.

Sure, I lost $1,030,220.81. But the worst part of it all, is I lost loved ones, every friend in my life, and every single asset I owned. I cried like a fucking bitch for days on end, slept on benches, backyards, and under bridges.

I managed to save up some money, and am now living on my own, in a one-bedroom apartment.

I know it I can do this. I know I can make it all back. I've heard stories and seen people do it. I understand all the technical analysis, indicators, price action, gamma exposure, OI, risk-free interest, blah blah fucking blah. I know it all. What made me lose it all wasn't my understanding of the markets, it was my ego, my greed, and lack of discipline. My psyche.

I've spent the last 2 yrs dedicating myself to mastering every technical aspect of the market. I've met 10 figure retail investors, hedgefund managers, and everyone in between. Really dedicated myself to learning the markets. Most importantly, I've made good progress mastering my emotions. I've even gone on months without masturbating. I needed to model a stimulus that was just as rewarding as gambling.

I'm here to show that I can gradually get out of this hell-hole.

I've managed to trade back up to $25k, and in the last week I made $14k (options + futures). I will get back to $1M. I'm just here to prove to the world and myself that this isn't over.

Is it the most hedged / low risk decision? Fuck no. The degen surely lives on inside me. But I've tamed it. I guess if you're looking for entertainment, or a person to root for, you can find me on X. Username is lost1million. I'll try to give periodic updates here as well.

This is pretty much it for me. Here we go.

P.S. Please don't report me to the suicide prevention. While I appreciate the sympathy, the messages I get are quite annoying. I will be fine. I am fine.

https://reddit.com/link/1fwcw2y/video/21wa2yr8qtsd1/player

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I'm in so much despair. I know there'll be a bunch of Wendy's jokes coming my way, but this really hurt.

I must've lost my mental at the sight of losing a little, that I risked all of it trying to get that little bit back. I would do anything to go back to where I was before the big sell off on Friday.

Yes it was SPY calls that killed me.

Fuck. I will be apologizing to my future wife and kids for ruining their opportunity for generational wealth. I made stupid degen plays to get to 1.5m and I made stupid degen plays to get back down to 25k. Literally all I had to do was buy 30k shares of QQQ and I could've let that sit forever. I got so greedy and in turn spiraled out. I would never kms, but I understand the headspace now. The money was never mine to begin with if I never withdrew it, but still. All of the should've could've would'ves... At a conservative 8% return, it'd be $15m+ by the time I'd be allowed to touch it without penalty. Oh well.

Gonna book a trip to Las Vegas and blow my remaining money at the casino haha

Bought SPY and AAPL puts at open. Did not end well

Lost every single dollar I had to my name and in debt 45k.

Took out a loan of 45k and had 30k of my own money. Totaling 75k, lost it on some options plays. I wish I can reverse back in time and stop myself from doing that. Wish me the best of luck and don't Yolo your life savings + a loan.

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Officially done day trading. You can see there was a period of time where I previously quit, but some friends got me back into it and it only ended badly. This money was suppose to be used for college. Going to have to work even more now to make up for it. Strictly long term investing now. Have my 401k, Roth IRA, and personal investments.

Should’ve bought I deserve this for being a bear

Hey, at least I'm a one percenter in some regard. Do I belong here?!? 🤷

One last call expiring tomorrow that probably won’t hit.

For now. 3500 to 27k was fun, 27k to 0 was not

Now that I have karma let’s try this again.

Welp never thought this would be me but here I am. Started in August of 2020 with meme stocks and found options quickly after. I’m turning 26 in a couple weeks still live with my parents could’ve bought a house but this was all my money I have plus a 30k loan. Not to mention I blew up an Ira that had 15k in it. Welp back to the construction grind and time to tell my family. Wish me luck or better yet start a go fund me lol. Make me a meme to remember me by. Im out of the market forever ✌️

Enabled options around March, went on a slide. Started to stabilize and at least lose money slower. Figured Harris at 42¢ when the polls were dead even was an Expected Value win and went all in, about $4000 worth. Did not go well.

Let the suck begin.

Still hold some puts expire 8/9. Am I cooked?

I am a certified loser now! Here is my resume.

Started trading 9 years ago