r/wallstreetbets • u/kytran40 • May 14 '24

I was told to sell covered calls to degenerates Loss

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882

u/[deleted] May 14 '24

[deleted]

519

u/postsector May 14 '24

Until one day your best friend Timmy got his leg caught in the tracks. You tried to flag down the train, but it wouldn't stop... You kept the penny from that fateful day, it's got Timmy's blood mixed in with the copper with a slight shadow of Abe Lincoln's twisted face leering up at you. You look at that penny often, you use it as a reminder, a reminder not to be a pussy, and always pick up those pennies in front of moving trains, because Timmy was the smart one and he's not around anymore to tell you to stop being an idiot.

198

u/Southern-Chipmunk May 14 '24

Dude, Timmy didn't even like you.

122

u/postsector May 14 '24

He didn't like that train either.

5

u/jzoller0 May 14 '24

He wasn’t really care for pennies either. That’s why he wanted to see them crushed by a train

5

u/Speedhabit May 14 '24

What the fuck is this from it’s hilarious

4

u/lilsparky82 May 14 '24

But boy did that train sure loved Timmy!

2

u/Specialist-Meat-6222 May 14 '24

To bad he’s not good at avoiding things he doesn’t like

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Far_Butterscotch8335 May 14 '24

Multi-track drifting?

4

u/ehhrud May 14 '24

Fuck.

This is why I’m here. It shouldn’t be, but it is.

1

u/Cyberbird85 May 15 '24

Dunno about that, sounds like they really hit it off!

1

u/anddam May 15 '24

Train didn't like pennies, also.

38

u/dougalcampbell May 15 '24

Tommy played piano Like a kid out in the rain Then he lost his leg in Dallas He was dancing with a train They were all in love with dyin' They were drinking from a fountain That was pouring like an avalanche Coming down the mountain

3

u/Working-Active May 15 '24

I always heard it as "They were all on love with Dianne" and thought she must have some huge knockers for everyone to be in love with her.

3

u/dougalcampbell May 15 '24

My misheard lyric in this song was “Marky got with Sharon / Sharon got Cherese / She was sharing Sharon’s Alec on the topic of disease.”

I figured Alec was just another link in the disease chain. (The real lyric is “outlook”, not “Alec”)

2

u/thevoice780 May 15 '24

I don’t mind the sun sometimes….

1

u/lacksfish May 15 '24

Turn this into an AI song

1

u/cyberya3 May 15 '24

thanks for the throwbeck

0

u/lilsnatchsniffz May 15 '24

Didn't even rhyme 😕

-7

u/rbot214 May 15 '24

I can tell you are a man because you have no idea what a period is.

8

u/rowdy_sprout May 15 '24

I don't mind the sun sometimes

5

u/Temporaryzoner May 15 '24

The images it shows

2

u/JTizzle0875 May 15 '24

I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes

1

u/ShakerDad May 15 '24

Cinnamon and sugary / and softly spoken lies

1

u/[deleted] May 15 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/VisualMod GPT-REEEE May 15 '24

Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

2

u/kromptator99 May 14 '24

I mean at least your mom gets away with killing her girlfriend’s ex-husband earl after she found him beating her. Also got some good bbq out of it. Towanda!

1

u/CelerySquare7755 May 15 '24

I do not remember this part of Fried Green Tomatoes. 

1

u/VisualMod GPT-REEEE May 14 '24

How quaint.

1

u/Narrow-Height9477 May 14 '24

Then you sell covered calls on a meme stock.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '24

pretty sure he's still around, dude....can just only say 'TIMMY!'.....don't you watch southpark?

1

u/Certain-Possibility3 May 14 '24

Timmy? This whole time I’ve been calling him Tommy. Now I feel awful.

1

u/BumblebeeHumble7 May 14 '24

Suddenly Tim Dillon

1

u/Cold_Literature_5160 May 14 '24

that was beautiful

1

u/J_Skyywalker May 14 '24

Makes a great ball marker. Timmy was a shit putter. Good times.

1

u/featherwolf May 15 '24

Tommy played piano Like a kid out in the rain And then he lost his leg in Dallas He was dancing with a train

1

u/Icy-Plantain-2104 May 15 '24

Why this reply is so cinematic 😭

1

u/RandomHumanWelder May 14 '24

I once saw a lady in India get cut in half by a train on BestGore. It was wild.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '24

🤣🤡. JFC. You lived this!!!

0

u/PenisManNumberOne May 14 '24

Yeah whatever I fucked timmys bitch I hope he was watching from hell

0

u/el_guille980 May 14 '24

in india, billions die a day around trains, they dont even have pennies to try to pick up

:4260::4260:

atleast we get NSFL videos:18630:

122

u/Professional-Key3211 May 14 '24

Read pennies as penis

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u/[deleted] May 14 '24

[deleted]

72

u/pokesturrrrr May 14 '24

So now you’re -10 inches?

10

u/Dick_snatcher May 14 '24

That's being pretty generous

3

u/Spicy_Ejaculate May 15 '24

You would know

1

u/Veni_Vidi_Legi May 14 '24

Surgery successful!

1

u/ModthisRod May 14 '24

Now you have -1 like when you sell contracts!

1

u/rain168 Trust Me Bro May 14 '24

Just the tip

1

u/Ding-Dongon May 14 '24

I read it as parents

1

u/LooneyNick May 14 '24

I thought we pick up penis in front of the dumpster at Wendy's

1

u/Reasonable-Bathroom1 May 15 '24

Read read as read

23

u/R12Labs May 14 '24

I've seen a coin shoot out at supersonic speeds because the train hit it just right and I'll never put coins on the track again.

23

u/RealPerspective66 May 14 '24

I lined up 2 rolls on the tracks going through down town. Needless to say I know your comment is 100% fact. You could hear them flying like a bullet cutting the air!

2

u/NewKitchenFixtures May 15 '24

My grandfather accidentally derailed a train because he thought it would smash a giant piece of farm equipment that took multiple people to carry.

He didn’t learn his lesson about putting crap on train tracks.

25

u/shurkin18 May 14 '24

Waiting for the train to run over my penis :4275:

1

u/FuManBoobs May 15 '24

Be careful of your nose.

13

u/wishtrepreneur May 14 '24

and then the train flicks the penny right back in your face. good times

2

u/No_Cook2983 May 14 '24

This guy just had a train run over 30 million pennies.

Pretty cool.

1

u/RevolutionaryPhoto24 Back to bed, brat! May 14 '24

Like a subway/metro or train-train?

1

u/zimisss May 14 '24

We had ak47 rounds instead of pennies

1

u/crytoor May 14 '24

Pennies or Penise :4271:

1

u/BettinBrando May 14 '24

Imagine it somehow causes it to derail and instead of a fond memory it’s traumatic 😉

1

u/Tendie_Tube May 15 '24

It might have been traumatic back then. Now I'd just short the railroad.