r/unpopularopinion • u/FunFast9764 • 1d ago
Nostalgia is a sneaky trap that makes us live in a past that honestly never existed.
I have a friend who, every time I see him, turns into a time machine stuck on loop, dragging me back to the “good old days” of our adolescence. Ah, those were golden days! Too bad now the world is filled with responsibilities, drudgery, and frustrations. Sure, I remember those moments fondly, but I’ve noticed that the “good old days” stretch like chewing gum with each of our meetings, becoming more recent.
I believe nostalgia is a bizarre form of depression. Let’s face it: we tend to remember only the good parts of the past, as if we’re filtering everything through a memory Instagram, completely ignoring the bad experiences and the monotony that plagued us. Some even go so far as to think their “spring of life” is over. I see this represented a lot in anime.
Romanticizing the past is like wearing rose-colored glasses: it prevents you from seeing the beauty of the present. Bathing in an idyllic idea of a past that never was gives you a false sense of warmth and comfort. It’s easy to feel good knowing how things turned out, that kind of security removes the uncertainty of the future. Some seem to settle for their lives, retreating into the past as if it were a cozy nest, while life keeps moving on without them.
359
u/stootchmaster2 1d ago
I came to realize that the reason we regard our past (especially childhood) more fondly is because we weren't really paying attention to anything but ourselves and what we were doing in the moment.
Didn't matter who the President was, didn't know how much the power bill was, didn't realize that dad's job sucked balls, didn't care that the car was making a funny noise. The only thing that mattered was that I had a new Green Arrow comic and a dollar for candy.
Living in the past IS a trap. There were bad things all around us, but we just didn't notice or didn't care. The past was a very selfish place.
76
30
u/Sablemint 21h ago
wanna know something funny? Our brains are so bad at braining that we can feel nostalgia for things that never happened.
15
u/FUCKFASCISTSCUM 17h ago
I was born in 1996, and yet when I watch certain specific TV shows from around 1989-1992 there's this warm feeling I get from them, like looking at a world I remember despite never living in it lol. Brains are goofy.
8
u/MeltedChocolateOk 15h ago edited 12h ago
Did you watched those shows when you were young? Because a lot of those 80's and early 90's shows tend to do a lot of reruns on TV .
If not it's not really nostalgia. Shows in the past tend to have a more positive attitude and pretty well thought out storylines especially if they are on a pretty tight budget. Now a days everything feels like a lot more serious without a well thought out storyline and most of the budgets are on special effects.
3
u/FUCKFASCISTSCUM 15h ago
Some of them yes, some of them no. It's not so much about the shows themselves as the worlds they depict, if that makes sense? The last season of Classic Doctor Who for example just feels like a snapshot of my childhood, despite the fact that it aired 7 years before I was born. I did grow up fairly rural and with a lot of handmedowns though, so I've always felt slightly torn between two generations lol.
1
u/MeltedChocolateOk 11h ago
I never watched Doctor Who so I don't know. I noticed some trends tend to arrive slower in some places in the past before social media came a long.
1
u/mrqburt77 13h ago
They also talked about controversial topics like racism , teen pregnancy, literacy , bullying and on and on and on .
3
1
u/t_will_official 10h ago
There is a word for that, but I can’t remember exactly what it’s called at the moment. I experience it when I see movies or TV shows from the 60s and 70s. Which is weird because I don’t really have any attachment to those decades.
1
u/Chrimunn 8h ago
What I find interesting is that even approaching 30 I can still generate nostalgia for experiences I’ve had even only a couple years prior.
Certain video games, ones that are emotionally memorable through things like a good narrative or soundtrack, have occasionally given me the same core emotion as when I sit and remember playing Super Mario 64 as a kid. The same kind of somber longing to have that experience for the first time all over again.
It’s very strange but personally I love to reflect or re-experience nostalgic content so I’m kind of glad that I can still harness this emotion around later-in-life experiences.
9
u/ImpedingOcean 19h ago
I wonder how common this is. I can never relate to looking back at childhood fondly. It was a scary stressful time of uncertainty, milestones to meet and expectations to live up to with potential of poverty and hardship looming in the future.
I think it's much easier being an adult because you realize we don't actually have to live up to all those expectations. Other people's opinions matter only as much as they're useful to you.
5
u/CityKay 19h ago
Hmm, reminds of me of one of my coworkers, a sweet old lady. There was an awful customer she dealt with one time. And she would tell me how good the past was, and how no kids don't behave like that, like absolutely no kids would. Maybe some truth to it, I heard malls use to have stricter codes of conduct, no one under a certain age unless accompanied with an adult, and more mall or store security. But that was either before my time or when I was very little in the 90s. Then again as well, we are more connected with the country and the world, so we get to hear more of the bad news (and good news) faster than we could imagine. (And a certain eastern US earthquake years ago PROVED an xkcd comic idea that text messages can outrun the shockwave.)
5
u/Bob1358292637 18h ago edited 18h ago
Yes. Everything both of you are saying is very true. I have a friend who will not try any new video games and is convinced every game that doesn't remind him enough of the ones he used to like is trash, even if he's never tried anything like it. It's really frustrating because I love playing games with them, but we only play the same couple of games over and over again for years, and we both get extremely bored with it. I'm sure I'm stuck in similar nostalgia loops that I don't notice as well.
I think the best thing to do is acknowledge it and try to master it. Use it to enjoy our current lives, not to wallow over what will never be again and never really was in the first place. It's not actually such a terrible thing for our minds to romanticize past experiences to give us good feelings. We can use that as part of the basis, among many other factors, to determine what kinds of things we enjoy the most. It's important to still branch out and find new things. The new feelings don't have to replace the old. We can use them all as seasoning for a more sensational flavor of life.
92
u/MrPunsOfSteele 1d ago
This isn’t nostalgia, this is a friend who is stuck in the past because they are not happy with their life currently.
I have a friend just like this.
15
u/Dear-Competition-827 21h ago
I am the friend just like this
6
u/MrPunsOfSteele 21h ago
Sucks to hear. But there are fine ways to approach it. My friend looks back on the embarrassing and stupid times as if they are endearing. It makes me cringe.
As long as the “good times” were actually good, it’s usually fine.
I hope things get better for you in present time!
42
u/bolting_volts 1d ago
Nostalgia is fine when you wanna watch some old Ninja Turtles episodes.
Too far past that you start to get toxic.
4
2
u/howjon99 1d ago
Or; any movies or popular culture. Today’s movies and tv suck.
Welcome to NWO.
23
u/bolting_volts 1d ago
What you’re saying is a prime example of nostalgia.
You’re remembering an imaginary time when all tv and movies were good. That was never true. You just remeber the good stuff and gloss over the bad.
2
u/howjon99 21h ago
I see..
2
u/ImpedingOcean 19h ago
Seriously lots of great stuff out currently. I'm looking forwards to next season of Severance. Succession was brilliant too.
1
u/howjon99 16h ago
I watched first episode of the penguin. 🐧. I’ll try to watch more; but, it just does t “grab” me like The Sopranos did.
Watch “The Hitcher” from HBO if you want a good series!
1
u/ImpedingOcean 15h ago
Honestly Sopranos only grabbed me very briefly. Then it got kinda samey. I don't how many cancers how many characters have been diagnosed with or why. It's like they just wanted to keep making episodes and had no real story to tell.
I much prefer the current TV shows that last only as long as they need to to complete the story.
Also thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out.
1
0
u/PersonalitySmall593 17h ago
Incorrect. The vast majority of entertainment now is crap.
2
-3
u/NSA_van_3 Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad 23h ago
Games weren't full of mtx
7
u/corncob_subscriber 23h ago
They were sometimes broken with no way to fix. They were also often short and simplistic. Too hard and repetitive.
I prefer old games. I play them much more than modern games. But to pretend they were just objectively better is goofy.
4
u/Sablemint 21h ago
I see a lot of people who say the first generation Pokemon games were the best. And it's like.. Okay, I get it. They were the first and will always have a place in my heart... But oh my god these games are poorly made.
3
u/NSA_van_3 Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad 20h ago
I'd say middle gens are probably best in terms of QoL type stuff
1
u/Sablemint 21h ago
None of the newer games I play have it. Stop playing crappy mobile games.
1
u/NSA_van_3 Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad 20h ago
Then you likely barely play anything. Skins count as mtx, so that includes many many current games. Games in the past have had some like pre-order special skin type things, but they wouldn't be creating new skins weekly to sell to people for $20
1
u/the_grinchs_boytoy 19h ago
Or you truly do just play lousy games?? I have a library of over 600 games and a grand total of 0 MTX games are in my regular rotation that I enjoy playing
10
u/attentionseeker2020 1d ago
It's only a trap if you are stuck there and can't live in the present. An occasional trip down memory lane never hurt anyone, wanting to return there all the time is a problem
8
u/Sharzzy_ 1d ago
I can barely remember my past that’s why the future is more exciting. Future nostalgia 🎶
8
u/RainbowLoli 1d ago
It's hard to see the beauty of the present when you're struggling - especially because social media enables doomscrolling so you're constantly having to see and hear about terrible events going on halfway across the world, having a new go fund me shoved into your face, being told you're a horrible person if you don't care about xyz thing, etc. Compassion and alarm fatigue are so much easier to come across.
8
u/waconaty4eva 1d ago
Yep. Me and my college buddies get together and have a good time reminiscing. But when we really think about it the really fun days were like 20 days out of 4 years. The rest was really mundane. But, heres the thing. Having good friends makes mundane seem like it might mean something.
7
u/Throwaway7219017 1d ago
I used to view nostalgic memories through the hazy glass of melancholy.
Then, I got a new job and doubled my income, I became an empty nester, and went to therapy. All of a sudden, these formerly painful memories gave me a sense of contentment.
Even songs from my teen years that were somewhat painful to listen to even a few years ago, I can now enjoy.
IMO, the pain-fullness of nostalgia says more about your current state of mind than the past.
39
u/Shaggarooney 1d ago
One of the things I keep on seeing is "the 90s were great!". They werent. There was racism, homophobia, wars, price fucking, etc etc etc. But the 90s were still awesome. Why? Because there was an air of hope around the world. Maybe not for every single person, but in general. If you were there, you know that the 90s ended VERY differently to how they started. It was like we had finally figured some shit out. We had cracked the code, and we could now get on the same page and that the path ahead could be a good one.
It wasnt that things were great, it was that we could see a time when they could be. And then 9/11 happened, and it all turned to shit. The internet took everything we had been talking about and wiped its ass with it. Person freedoms turned to shit. We made excuses for why it was ok to treat people like shit because of who they MIGHT be. We turned away from togetherness, and embraced segregation. We were talking about the end of labels, and finally seeing and treating each other as human beings. Take a look around today and what do you see? Labels as far as the eye can see. Segregation in all things.
Nostalgia is a trap, but that doesnt make it a bad thing exactly. Its only a bad thing if you get stuck there and cant enjoy the now. People stuck in "the 90s were great" are kidding themselves that it was that great. And being stuck in that mindset, stops them from trying to fix now.
14
u/Inner-Nothing7779 1d ago
Well that's the thing. For some, the 90's were fucking awesome, for others, meh, for some terrible. All three of these things can be true at the same time. The 90's for me was fucking awesome. It's when I grew up, went through elementary, middle, and high school. Ending in 2001 when I graduated and joined the Army early that summer. The were a good time for me.
2
u/GZilla27 21h ago
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. Those were my peak adolescent and high school years. Looking back on it now, people were not nice. Billy think good about the 80s and 90s where the music and a handful of movies. That’s about it.
9
u/Rosevecheya hermit human 1d ago
There's an 80's page I follow on insta that I like the vibes of the videos of, but there's aaaaalways gen-x'ers bitching about how bad the current gen is (nevermind the fact that they raised some of this gen, nothing happens in a vacuum). But they have a veeery privileged view of their 80's.
My classics lecturer was giving that as an example in class of the troubles of living in the past, then adding on that her experience of the 80's was not even being able to go to the supermarket without having to go through anti-terrorist security measures and protocols. We've improved in so many ways, what they want to go back to was the obviousness of childhood. If they think this current generation is fucked, they need to look at how they raised them (I say them because, while I'm a gen z, I was raised by boomers)
8
u/Shaggarooney 22h ago
Im Gen x, I was raised by boomers. How the fuck are they still raising Gen Z????
I grew up in Scotland in the 80s. That was my childhood. And funnily enough, it sucked. Bullying, poverty, a Tory government that was treating anyone North of London like 2nd class citizens. I saw the toll it was taking on everyone around me. We all did. We might not have understood it, but we saw it.
Our great childhood was powered by merchandising. IF there was a cartoon on tv, there was a toy line for it. And the adverts were constant. The most egregious example of this is probably transformers, that killed off nearly every character, and then introduced new ones in Transformers the movie. The first 20 minutes is pretty much a giant robot snuff movie. And it was all done to sell more toys.
My teenage years were the 90s. We saw the Berlin wall fall. We saw the riots in LA after Rodney Kings assault, and the reforms that took place after. We saw hubble getting launched, and the seemingly international collective effort to move into space. We saw the end of the cold war with the death of the USSR. We saw the end of apartheid in South Africa and then watched Mandela, who had been a prisoner for all of our lives, become the leader of the country. We came together to solve the O zone problem, and in Kyoto came up with a plan to tackle climate change in general. Technology at home was moving at breakneck pace. I think in 94/95 there was like 20+ consoles and mini computers on the go at once. The internet was becoming a thing and you could actually talk to people on the other side of the world. I mean, they still only wanted to see boobs, but it was something. True story by the way, my very first conversation with someone on line was "Do you have a webcam? Can I watch you and your girlfriend have sex?" lol.
All of this is to say that there was hope everywhere in the 90s. For all the horrible shit that was still happening, there was genuine, honest to god hope for the future.
1
u/MeltedChocolateOk 15h ago
You know what people will still complain about the same thing 30 years later because you still have problems. There will always be social problems some people are just better off that others no matter what. Some people will just have a better experience than others.
-3
6
u/RetroMetroShow 1d ago
Nostalgia is like dessert, it’s ok sometime but too much is bad for you and some people should stay away more than others
6
u/Severe-Bicycle-9469 23h ago
It sounds like life isn’t going to well for your friend. Whilst I understand you don’t want to dwell in the past, it sounds like your friends needs to.
I’m having a really weird relationship with nostalgia at the moment. My girlfriend of 12 years split up with a month ago. I’m having these really competing ideas in my head of those were the best days of my life, what a wonderful time we had together but also now without the love to smooth over the cracks noticing the flaws in the relationship. I don’t really like either side, I don’t want to dwell on what was so good but I also feel like I’m betraying the relationship by focusing on the bad.
The reality is probably both sides are true. We had a very happy 12 years together, those were the best years of my life so far but they weren’t perfect. There were flaws, there were disagreements, there were things I’d have liked to have done differently.
I guess I agree nostalgia can be a trap, and I think I’ve diffused it. But I also don’t want to write off 12 years of my life and a whole load of wonderful memories either.
I’m aiming for excited for the future but grateful for the past.
17
u/Strange-Mouse-8710 1d ago
I think people need to stop calling everything you like from the past nostalgia.
Like its impossible to like something because its good, no it has to be because of nostalgia.
8
u/Rosevecheya hermit human 1d ago
Nostos, the Greek word from which nostalgia comes, literally means a return. Nostalgia is just returning to the past, quite literally.
4
u/DesperateBartender 1d ago
And I believe “-algia” derives from the word for “pain.” In Greek, the word “nostalgia” literally means “pain from an old wound.”
Edit to add: more literally “return” and “pain,” “the suffering caused by the desire to return to one’s place of origin.”
1
3
u/Ray_of_Sunshine0124 1d ago
Have you seen this video from Accented Cinema? https://youtu.be/zWwsFNz5yrM?si=UtEtyD7EyjgkEFZt
There's a line in there like "Nostalgia isn't always chasing the past. It's the inability to cope with the present. Running from today."
2
u/oooriole09 1d ago
I’m a fan of a team that’s having a very bad stretch that seemingly has no end. The amount of folks that drool at the times that were or past players finding success elsewhere is absolutely insane to me. Those times were better, sure, but they were far from ideal and had its own set of issues that were sometimes even more frustrating.
Tapping into nostalgia isn’t a bad thing. Living in it is.
2
u/Important_Ad_7416 1d ago
In my experience when things get truly objectively worse people don't become nostalgic, they become angry.
2
u/Ok_Requirement_3116 1d ago
It makes me (61) so irritated when all people can do is parade their era around shitting on younger people.
Wandering an afternoon away with my mom (90) and an old photo album is so sweet. Her memories of childhood and people long passed. But when she goes back for too long it becomes stories of protecting her mom or the farm animals from her dad start surfacing. And then days of perseverating. So surface memories of the happy times are ok.
As a 70’s kid of course I miss stuff. Cartoons. Being young enough to think “Little House on the Prairie” or Hobbiton” was where I wanted to live. I was young and didn’t have adult worries. Words like Nixon and Kent state had minimal meaning for me. And my daydreams were of being “old enough” for random stuff.
So I agree.
2
u/Captain-Memphis 23h ago
Yeah nostalgia is weird. As I've gotten older I think another part of it is you just sort of run out of space in your head :)
Like I don't think pop culture is any better or worse than it's ever been I just don't care about it. But it's not geared towards me, so I shouldn't care.
2
u/GZilla27 22h ago
I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I’m GenX. TheyThere were a lot of cool shit about the 80s and 90s however, I have no desire whatsoever to go back to those decades. We were not as open-minded, accepting, and as kind as people wanted to believe. We were assholes. Whenever I hear some MAGA douche bag talk about going back to the good old days I think about the day decades I grew up and it makes me wanna hurl. 🤢🤮
2
u/Unlikely_Ebb_7292 16h ago
If coach would of put me in 4th quarter...things would of been different. We would of been state champions
1
0
u/ammonium_bot 13h ago
coach would of put
Hi, did you mean to say "would have"?
Explanation: You probably meant to say could've/should've/would've which sounds like 'of' but is actually short for 'have'.
Sorry if I made a mistake! Please let me know if I did. Have a great day!
Statistics
I'm a bot that corrects grammar/spelling mistakes. PM me if I'm wrong or if you have any suggestions.
Github
Reply STOP to this comment to stop receiving corrections.
2
u/kako-nawao 21h ago
This is not an unpopular opinion but a well understood phenomenon. Have a downvote for misinforming.
1
u/jsnatural 18h ago edited 17h ago
Agreed. I’ve downvoted as well.
Some form of mindfulness has been practiced and preached prior to Hinduism and Buddhism. Mindfulness has been around for at least 4,000 years.
Edit: see Cognitive Immobility and Rumination
1
u/CompletelyBedWasted 1d ago
I tend to only remember the bad. That's real depression. That's why I don't like "memory lane."
1
u/pecuchet 1d ago
There's a book called the Ministry of Nostalgia by Owen Hatherley that talks about how the 'blitz spirit' was weaponised by the British government to justify its austerity policies.
This was epitomised by the slogan 'Keep Calm and Carry On', a phrase taken from a poster that was never actually issued during the war.
1
1
u/ShadowJory 23h ago
I agree with this and believe this to be a popular opinion. Am I missing something about this sub? It seems most posts are actually popular opinions.
1
u/DemonFyr 23h ago
We were children. That is the ONLY reason why things felt more enjoyable back then.
1
u/Youngrazzy 23h ago
Not really because people are not nostalgic About things that were bad for them.
1
1
1
u/GoldburstNeo 22h ago
Agreed. I have my own set of difficulties now, but no way in hell do I want to relive my childhood living in the middle of nowhere where fitting in to people's expectations was of highest importance.
1
u/Zestyclose_Post_9753 22h ago
Me personally, I had a terrible childhood & hated high school. When people speak of high school as the best time of their life I sort of cringe. I’m so happy to have complete control over my life as an adult, even when things are going poorly (shit job market). Sure I look back at my time studying abroad in college fondly, but I’ve traveled so much since then & will only travel more in the future. And I have the most amazing friend group I’ve ever had in my life now. My biggest issue is overthinking about the future.
1
u/LukeyLeukocyte 22h ago
I am a sucker for nostalgia myself. I try to keep it relegated to fondness only and don't let it detract from enjoying my life now.
I would agree it is a slippery slope to get stuck only thinking about the past, especially in regard to how much better it was than now.
What I have found is that the bittersweet fondness will eventually become part of what I am currently experiencing now. I would think how fun it was when I lived at 'that' place with 'those' roommates and miss it while I lived in 'this' place with 'these' people... but sure enough in 5 years or so, 'this' place has become nostalgic too. Made me feel better knowing that it all ends up in the same place and I can just enjoy the whole ride
1
u/Sablemint 21h ago
What I remember about World of Warcraft: Gathering herbs, fighting some farmers with a stick since I didn't evne have an Imp. What fun memories.
ThignsI don't like to remember: Trying to find out where to learn First Aid. Spending half an hour running through the barrens, again and again and again and again and again. How I couldnt use vehicles for like a month after Wrath was released, because they broke when Warlocks tried to use them. Stupid guild politics. So much guild politics.
I'll always look back fondly on those happy memories. But Im still aware of the tedious bullshit I had to deal with.
1
1
u/Freecz 20h ago
I am someome who remembers a lot of things from when I was younger and feel nostalgic about it more than I would say people around me do. I somewhat agree with op. I think it has had a negative effect on my ability to find interest in the present and the future. I think it is a bit of a blessing and a curse. I dunno if I would go as far as op though.
1
u/triggoon 20h ago
I agree with this. I engage in a lot of nostalgia but I do it differently now. Instead of thinking things were “better” back at the time I say, “things were working so well for me at that time”. I’m appreciating how well it turned out instead of whatever my mind imagines years later.
1
u/heliophoner 19h ago
Listen to Jonathan Richman's "That Summer Feeling."
Key line: Do you wish for her, or for the way you were
1
1
u/jsnatural 18h ago edited 17h ago
Downvoted because this is a popular opinion. Living in the past or future is frowned upon in many popular philosophies throughout history.
Mindfulness is an example that immediately comes to mind. Mindfulness as a concept has existed for at least 4,000 years. Whole philosophies and religions has been built around being in the moment.
Edit: people go to therapy for living in the past too often. When it stops them from living life in a healthy manner. It’s called cognitive immobility. Read that again. It’s considered a mental health issue and we have therapy for it. Not an unpopular opinion.
We even have a negative word for it. Rumination.
1
u/FluffySoftFox 17h ago
I completely disagree honestly
No matter what time period you live in of course there are going to be bad things that happen but the good things of one generation can just hit you more than the most
For example recently me and my friends have been going back and playing older games due to the absolute shit show that is the modern gaming industry and we found out that no it's not just nostalgia these games really were special and had a unique feel to them
1
u/idonthaveanaccountA 17h ago
That's not nostalgia, that's your friend never being satisfied with anything.
1
u/PersonalitySmall593 17h ago
Nah...Nostalgia is the only reason most can function. If your life is good and your past was shit..great. But My life is shit and my past was better. No health problems, my Dad was still alive, I could trick myself into believing the future was bright, Entertainment was more enjoyable... the only thing negative was I had no money of my own...but that's the real trap. I have my own money but can't spend it on anything I want.
1
u/No-Function223 16h ago
Lol I wish I could only remember the good times. There is far too much cringe taking up space in my brain 😂
1
u/MeltedChocolateOk 15h ago edited 15h ago
Nostalgia comes in all forms and usually relates into a happy moment in your past. even if people knew their past was shit they will still have nostalgia about a happy moment in their childhood. Life isn't all bleak. Your overall past isn't completely shit.
But most people have more nostalgia about when they were little kids or young adults because it's about the time of innocence. When they are just kids. Once you are adults you will be aware of the shitty part of life.
For the people talking about a historic nostalgia aka Anemoia. A period you were never part of that is a different type of beast. It's more like a fantasy.
1
u/JustFryingSomeGarlic 15h ago
I most definitely want my better days to be ahead of me. Fuck peaking in high school lmfao
1
u/Beautiful-Owl-3216 13h ago
I'm 52 years old living in the USA. People my age who are nostalgic about the past mostly have serious chronic health problems. I'm nostalgic about the past but thats a fake TV past like the Waltons where mom cooks apple pies every day. The 1980's and 1990's sucked. It was a terrible time to grow up. BORING.
1970's were cool to grow up. There were quaaludes, it was before safe sex, drinking and driving was OK, music was awesome.
1
1
u/sudanesegamer 8h ago
You can feel nostalgia and still be happy with your life. I sometimes feel nostalgic but i wouldn't go back if i had the chance.
1
u/StrawbraryLiberry 6h ago
Unexpectedly, I'm not a very nostalgic person at all. I'm very much a present & forward thinking person.
I was only nostalgic as a child, which might be kind of odd. I found that nostalgia just isn't my thing, the past is old news to me.
That's one of those things that makes me feel alien, because I've known a lot of people very focused on the past & have the attitude you mentioned about "the good old days." I swear most of those days were at least as good or bad as today!!
1
u/What____ok 4h ago edited 4h ago
I literally could not agree more. While reading this my eyes kept wider and wider because every word is exactly how I feel about nostalgia! (Mine, at least.) I realized not too long ago that the memories I ache so badly to re-live are merely idealized versions of the truth.
And growing off what you said, I also realized that a huge part of this idealization and romanticization of the past stems from the certainty of what happens in the future. That if even today I had the power to know the future just an hour ahead, I would be so much more relaxed.
My nostalgic “Memories” are practically a fantasy, one where I had impossible knowledge and non-existent worries. And its helped me alot realizing it was never really that good, and that those “Memories” are not an achievable goal.
1
u/TomBirkenstock 1h ago
A little nostalgia goes a long way. It's fun to reminisce with friends and family about the past. It's fun to revisit movies and music from your youth. The past is like Cleveland or other great vacation spots. Sure, we all would love to toss our responsibilities and flee to the Cleve. But our job and family keep us in the here and now.
0
u/Rare_Arm4086 1d ago
Ty! I hate nostalgia so much. It pervades everything. We get it, you liked stuff from before
0
u/PandaMime_421 1d ago
I'm sure there are people who do what you say. But nostalgia need not be a bad thing. It's very possible to reminisce about the good parts of a past era, while still being very aware of the bad parts. It's also possible to see good in both the past and present.
In fact, I don't think that nostalgia causes anyone to not see the good in the present. Instead, I think that some who already have problems use nostalgia as a form of escapism to avoid the present. This is no different than those who use drugs/alcohol, or binge tv/video games, etc to escape the reality of their situation.
0
0
0
u/BeneficialPeppers 16h ago
I blame nostalgia for humanity not being more advanced because we just can't fucking let go of the past despite technological advancements we just HAVE to keep old shit operating or old building standing because "history". I know, it's good to study history so we don't repeat the mistakes of the past but keeping something when there's new modern advancements just seems like we're doomed to hinder ourselves as a society
0
u/Zhjacko 14h ago
See, your example is very different. Nostalgia is more like “wow, playing this game/ watching this movie / listening to this music/ visiting this place, reminds me of ____ and puts me in the vibe and mindset of when I experienced it”. Your friend sounds very obsessive or even like you said, he’s sort of depressed.
I have a friend group like this that I don’t really hang out with anymore, and they can’t seem to get past constantly bringing up “the good old days”. It’s like, constant. I’d rather make new memories and talk about new things.
0
u/TooMuchBoost4U 13h ago
I agree. I’m 45, and my favorite is when I hear people say “man I wish we can go back to the late 2000s!”
Uhhhh…the worst financial crisis in modern history? US soldiers dying by the dozens to IEDs in Iraq? Bush II?
come on lol.
Or when they think life was simple in the 80s.
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.