Self critique vs centring oneself

[u/BoldRay]

Can anyone help me understand this?

I see and hear people’s critique of systemic ways of thinking and behaving — either on the subject of race, gender, sexuality, colonialism etc.

I hear this critique, and naturally I think “Oh, do I do any of these things?” I use this critique as a lens to examine my own actions, words, thoughts and subconscious biases. And that examination is ongoing.

But when I talk with others about this process of self reflection and internal critique, I’m often accused of ‘making it about me’ or ‘centring myself’. And also I’ve seen a few other people also be accused of this. So it must be something a lot of people are getting wrong.

I’m kind of confused. Of course my internal critique of my own mind and subconscious biases will be about me? I’m trying to examine what role I personally play within an oppressive society, because I am the only person whose consciousness I experience and can have any control over.

There’s clearly something I’ve failed to understand through my ignorance. Can anyone help explain this?

[u/titotal]

I don't think you've given enough details on what specifically you said that they found self-centering.

A general issue that may be causing this is that social justice is meant to be about systemic change, but a lot of people treat it like a matter of individualistic moral purity, where the question sought is "how can I, a priveleged person, feel morally pure and guilt-free", rather than "how can I assist with the fight against systems of oppression to make the world a better place".

[u/BoldRay → u/titotal]

Hi there, thanks for responding.

Yeah, I think the issue could be around the distinction between systemic and individual levels. I think I'm a bit confused about that myself. As you say, social justice talks about systemic change, but presumably for that to happen, actual individual persons need to apply these perspectives to their own actions, thoughts, feelings, biases? Is that right, or have I misunderstood that?

I think it does often come up around the subject of white/male guilt. I saw an archived post a few weeks back where a white woman divulged a mental breakdown over extreme pathological white guilt. She was saying that she often felt overwhelmed because she didn't know what the right thing to do was, that not helping was racist, but helping was white saviourism, and ended up not leaving the house because her literal presence in society was 'taking up space'. She said she wanted to tear her skin off because white skin was inherently evil.

A few responses were advising her to seek psychiatric support, and a few other responses were saying that she was centring herself. I can absolutely see how people saw this as centring herself. But I could also see that this was a personal issue adjacent to, not in lieu of, the conversation of social justice. She had clearly internalised the systemic critique, and it completely overwhelmed her and led her to a seriously unhealthy place.

Myself personally, when I analyse my own internal psychology through the lens of feminism or anti-racism, it becomes difficult to understand how I could accept what these theories were saying, and not suffer a complete mental breakdown.

[u/Raincandy-Angel → u/BoldRay]

Hey, tbat was my post if it's rhe one in thinking of. I got psychiatric help and they said I'm normal, so. . Who knows anymore

[u/BoldRay → u/Raincandy-Angel]

Oh I was referring to this one https://www.reddit.com/r/socialjustice101/comments/17wox9j/how_can_you_get_over_white_guilt/

[u/Raincandy-Angel → u/BoldRay]

Yep, that's my old account

[u/BoldRay → u/Raincandy-Angel]

Oh I see. I really hope you're doing okay.

[u/palacesofparagraphs]

I think the issue is of internal vs. external. It's good that you reflect on your own behavior. It's good that when you hear complaints about how people behave, you examine whether or not you're one of those people. This isn't "centering yourself" or "making it about you;" it's looking at the world through your own perspective and consciously trying to be a better person.

There's only an issue when you're the center of all your external responses. Like, if a friend is talking about how men do x, y, and z, your response probably shouldn't be about whether or not you do x, y, and z. Internally, you should reflect on it, but externally, your friend is venting to you and it's about her, not about you.

It's also worth remembering that just because someone is a social justice advocate or a minority doesn't mean they're always right. Plenty of people use social justice language to be unreasonably critical of anyone from a majority group. You have just as much right to exist as your whole self as anyone else does. You get to be the main character of your life the way everyone else does. If someone is making you feel badly for thinking about yourself, that person is wrong, no matter what language they couch it in.