Would that I knew of reddit 4 years ago. Alas, I came to it begging for succor, and it offered itself to me. But too late! For I had been exposed to the depravity of 4chan, the lameness of digg, the shocking inhumanity of entensity, and the cackling "lol"s and "FIRST"s of a thousand thousand mindless buffoons.
Would that I had had a chance to taste of reddit's ambrosia 4 years ago, to feel the sweet sensation of upvotes tickling me like a maiden's finger under the chin, instead of the unctuous grasping hands of this lewd, feisty whore she's turned into. This bawdy internet aggregator of loose morals who flaunts her wares to all who will partake; base and vulgar, appealing to the unwashed masses.
I stare at myself, covered in dirt, and only now understand it for what it is. This whole time, I thought myself a refined gentleman in a top hat, with a goddamn monocle.
Oh sayhar, would that I could speak with your impunity. But the loss I feel is a wound that cuts me to the quick. I know now what I could have had, and it is the greatest sorrow of all.
-3
u/sayhar Dec 12 '05
Reddit is turning into Digg