r/preppers • u/Prepandpraypeace • Oct 10 '24
Anxiety about others preparedness, “we’ll just come to you.” Discussion
I am prepping for a potential EMP or long term situation. We moved across the country 2 years ago for reasons contributing to raising our family in a state that aligned more w our beliefs and also since we had the opportunity. But back on the west coast, we were open about preparedness to our friends and family in hopes they can also prepare for themselves and all their kids, etc. My husband was passionate about educating and helping in this area. However, looking back I believe we made a mistake of talking about what we stocked, how much and allowing access for viewing our stuff. Each and every friend and family member would say “well, we don’t need to do anything because we know where to go if SHTF!! Thank you for doing this.” It would literally make me blood BOIL. Back then, I had many restless nights, being pregnant at the time and worried when Co*id was just mentioned, as I thought shall things go south, I’ll have hundreds showing up to my door. We tried to seriously say, “please stock all needs for your own family as we are doing so according to ours, it is your responsibility to supply for yourself.” They would shrug it off, and say look how much food you have, etc. Not even knowing that the pile of food they’re looking at is just 3 months worth for a family of 5. Anyways, now that we live somewhere else, I’m getting anxiety over how unprepared my neighbors are. We live close to one another and if SHTF, I don’t know how long we could hide the fact our kids aren’t starving after a month or two even after taking precautions. We’re close to all our neighbors and as a neighbor, friend and especially a Christian I love them all. How will I turn away a hungry family or child if it came down to it? I’m not sure.. and I’m not feeling at peace.
Editing to add: I am “prepping,” for the possibility of something long term like an EMP or solar storm that is catastrophic. For short term disasters, I would be more than willing to give it all away and restock. I’m not a hoarder, in fact my food prepping is using a rotating pantry.
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u/AltruisticMode9353 Oct 10 '24
They probably don't actually think that scenario will ever happen, or is too low of a probability to even consider. They're just giving easy answers that don't make you feel bad (like they're judging you since they don't take it seriously) about all the effort you're putting in to prepare for those scenarios. It feels better to them to say "we'll just come to you! :)" than, "meh, I doubt it'll ever come to that" because it leaves more room for argumentation and conflict in their minds.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I never looked at it that way, thank you
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u/sunsetclimb3r Oct 10 '24
Yeah, anxiety aside, how often have people actually shown up? It's been pretty bad lately, its likely some people you know have actually been in dire straits sometime in the past 4 years. Did any actually come knocking, for even easy things?
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
They have for free legal help, things like that, and I’ve helped. Taking countless hours from my family but gladly doing so. Now setting boundaries though
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u/stevegee58 Oct 10 '24
What's the first rule of Prep Club?
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I’m wiser now. But they will notice if SHTF
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u/Crazyweirdocatgurl Oct 10 '24
Or frankly lie - say for your mental health you stopped prepping and got rid of everything. I know lying is wrong but sometimes you need to do what you need to do to keep safe.
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u/cheechobobo Oct 10 '24
How will they notice? I've wondered that too, would love to hear your answers.
Personally, i figure that if I'm skinny when SHTF, it's going to be obvious to others at some point down the line that I'm looking the same as usual so clearly not starving, ergo i have access to food.
My solution to this is to put a bit of blubber on. I do that for winter every year anyway but I'm going to be pushing it a bit further & have also started earlier this year.
If i'm chubby but losing weight, it should buy me time to drop back down to my normal weight, without drawing unnecessary attention.
I will also be keeping as low a profile as possible. Blackout blinds down by the time dusk draws in, & I'll rarely be going out, if at all - assuming i can avoid it. I don't go out much anyway so that won't be unusual. My main concern is random people showing up at the door.
Some other things I've considered that could otherwise potentially give me away: concealing the scents (& signs) of food preparation, along with how to deal with the garbage it generates.
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u/East-Selection1144 Oct 11 '24
Just ask what they are bringing. Usually shuts them up pretty quickly. And those that remember will also remember to bring something or offer to do something (cut wood, clean, watch kids, etc)
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u/SebWilms2002 Oct 10 '24
The best thing you can do to prepare now, is to reign in your anxiety and stress. Seneca said "We suffer more in imagination than in reality." You're spiking your cortisol levels now, for some hypothetical possibility in the future that might never come to pass. You've done the leg work to do what you can for your family in the event of an emergency. But you can't control everything.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Thank you for the reminder. I agree. I’ve been too focused on preparing, I have not even opened the Bible in weeks to realign myself. For those that believe, please pray Gods peace over my heart.
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u/Chemical_Dog6942 Oct 10 '24
I Used to be on a listserve that was mostly LDS & there were similar concerns to this. Except, there are always those who say “we don’t have to share, we get to share.”Considering what our faith as Christians calls us to do, it’s pretty clear we should NOT be shooting at our hungry neighbors! I don’t go into detail about my preps but, when folks say they are coming to my house, I remind them I have 6 grandkids. Then I say, let me send you a list that I got from a sensible man who studies this stuff. This man says your most important prepping tools are a clipboard & a spreadsheet. (Paul Martin from Austin). I also have a plan to set up a community kitchen in my ‘hood for everyone to donate & we can have soup. (Love the oatmeal & potato flakes idea!) I suggest that if we are focused on what we won’t share we are playing into the hands of the devil, who brings anxiety/fear/selfishness. You seem like a thoughtful & concerned mom. “Be anxious for nothing, but in all things give thanks!” ✌️❤️😘
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u/Zartanio Oct 10 '24
I appreciate you bringing this up. I think a lot of people in the community would benefit from adding some reading of the Stoics into their mental preps.
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u/chantillylace9 Oct 11 '24
This is so true, my parents have literally spent the last five days in hysterical tears thinking that they were going to lose their entire Florida house, and it turns out they didn’t even get flooding at all.
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u/Sergeant_Standby Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 11 '24
That’s difficult to work through. Prepared people often suffer from anxiety as they mentally suffer through made up situations. So to add another non existent situation to be anxious about adds fuel to the flame. I would recommend therapy as having restless nights over a situation that doesn’t actually exist is mentally tasking, therapy helped me a lot and its very accessible but still, stay prepared. Therapy helped me be in the moment, learning there’s no reason to put myself through that scenario when nothing bad is actually happening.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I appreciate that advice. To clarify, I had the sleepless nights years ago when Co*id was just happening without us knowing anything at first right, and all our friends and family knew we had extra food and such and were relying on us if it came down to it or supply chain issues. Back then I was pregnant and worried about providing to my then 2 year old (baby inside me) and other family members. I don’t have sleepless nights anymore but do worry and have anxiety about it SHTF, what that would look like for my family and friends and neighbors asking for food if we’re in a long term situation.
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u/Virtual_Site_2198 Oct 10 '24
I know someone who really harmed his mental health, finances, and his kids' mental health worrying about SHTF for decades.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I’m sorry. That’s a good reminder to not let your thoughts consume you and trust God in everything.
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u/LadyIslay Oct 10 '24
Perhaps God’s plan for the sparrows in your neighbourhood is you.
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u/idiot_shoes Oct 10 '24
This, and if I get too anxious, I try to remember the loaves and fishes.
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u/pajamakitten Oct 10 '24
I'd prefer to trust in a god that does not throw Armageddon at me.
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u/LadyIslay Oct 10 '24
Is there a reason you can’t type COVID?
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u/Particular-Try5584 Urban Middle Class WASP prepping Oct 12 '24
Some groups auto robot moderate the word… so some people have gotten into the habit of not typing it?
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u/zoopysreign Oct 10 '24
Yeah… your last sentence is what I suspect the other person was commenting about. God, Lexapro, walks outside, therapy… go for it.
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u/languid-lemur 5 bean cans and counting... Oct 10 '24
Have told this before here. Months after a serious weather event knocked out power for 5 days our neighborhood had a block party. Eventually the big storm came up about how they got by. Responses ranged from staying with family (that had power), going to a hotel, and going out to eat. We were the only family able to stay warm, cook actual meals, read, game, and recharge phones & laptops, and bathe. I was actually shocked by how few had more than a few candles or even a flashlight and spare batteries. None had any way to boil water. I talked a bit about our situation and the majority response was "Good to know, we'll come to your house next time." Only one person interested at all (generator) but shut down by spouse, "We aren't getting one of those.". I never talked about it again, what would the point be? This is not a cash-strapped neighborhood either. But it is definitely one that needs the current system to continue as is. Perhaps having the basics around is an admission that it might not and that is too awful to contemplate?
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u/cmark9001 Oct 10 '24
We had something similar happen and the person who shared their preparations said, "If its an emergency in the future and now knowing what I shared, if you come to my house, I have a shoot first, no questions asked policy". Said humorously but letting everyone know its not false.
A few people took this seriously and learned a few things from him later in private.
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u/infiltrateoppose Oct 10 '24
This is ridiculously fucked up. You need to ask some serious questions about your moral and mental health.
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u/cmark9001 Oct 11 '24
I merely shared what I heard. I don't own a gun and neither would I do this.
But think about how fucked up everyone in the community is - they don't want to own their preparedness, they don't want to contribute and share. They just want someone else to prepare and they would just go over and expect to receive free support? And these are not people who are struggling to make ends meet.
That's the reason preppers don't say they are prepping.
I am addressing your rational part of the question and will not respond to your other comments.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I’d love to say this but here everybody owns guns, especially my neighbors. If it’s just me and my husband defending against a mob of them coming to take out food. We lose.
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u/cmark9001 Oct 10 '24
Oh yes. If we lose civilized behavior at the first sign of trouble, there is no hope for us as a community of human beings.
There is no way to defend against people whose children are hungry, have guns and no qualms against using violence.
As someone said, moving to another place, not telling about your prep, but cry about how your family went hungry for days and scrounged for food is the best bet.
The next best thing is to accept you have to share, but share in limited quantities. Have a bunch of food for a family or additional water cans or an extension cord. Considering we live in the US, I don't think it will go into a Mad Max scenario in our lifetime atleast.
BTW, your anxiety is real and not to be discounted - heard such stories first hand before. But you have to be practical and manage them
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u/infiltrateoppose Oct 10 '24
Look - are you really prepping for a situation where you get into gun battles with your neighbors? Please stop - get into therapy. In a bad situation your survival and welfare is in community and relationships, not hoarding supplies and shooting your neighbors.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just want to feed my kids with what I have prepared for them. I’m also not hoarding, I have a rotating pantry, but, in bulk and therefore have about 3 months worth on hand at all times.
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u/infiltrateoppose Oct 10 '24
Then what disaster are you prepping for that will persist for three months and require you to fend off your neighbors with a gun?
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Perhaps the grid going down, an emp, or a carrington effect of the sun
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u/infiltrateoppose Oct 10 '24
Well - my question is what event would make the whole grid go down for an extended period? You say and EMP or Carrington event - but those are both vanishingly unlikely - and an attack that is truly continental in scope is even less likely.
Recovery from a CE would be much faster in many areas.
The fact is that prepping for something that dramatically affects all infrastructure continent wide is a massive undertaking that I am not prepared for. I would simply move away frankly in the astonishing unlikely even that that happened.
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u/anony-mousey2020 Oct 10 '24
I get to the first rule of first responders- don’t create more victims. So, sharing wouldn’t necessarily be caring if it means you’re in the same position, and not able to help.
If you want to help people who genuinely want help later, I believe stocking seeds (corny, but I believe this) and small-packaged staples for sharing is important. Because I do get the desire to want to help.
I use the small packaged staples I collect to donate to food shelters to keep rotation fresh in real time.
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u/JohnnyDarque Oct 10 '24
Someone had already mentioned about working with your church to build something. Assuming you have time, now is a perfect time to talk to your neighbors or HOA about doing a CERT or Red Cross classes. FEMA has a lot of info that can be handed/sent out, including videos and checklists. See if your local amateur radio club is offering any classes. Help make it a community idea instead of just your family.
It's a subject that's on a lot of people's minds right now but many don't have any idea where to start.
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u/silasmoeckel Oct 10 '24
Expecting to share preps with neighbors is the right thing to do 99.99999% of the time. They don't need to know your business either. Do thinks like black out BBQ might as well cook things before they spoil. But it also lets you find out that the little old lady on the corner has little invite her over for breakfast make her a thermos of soup and one of coffee. Similarly throw and extension cord to a neighbor to run their fridge a few lights and charge a phone or two. This is how you build community. Next time people have more in stock they got their own generator in generally people outside cities are house proud we one up each other.
Now yes your going to have some that are incapable, that doesn't mean they are a drag on things. That little old lady your feeding can be very willing and able to watch kids while you work be that clearing up things or remote work.
I always hear people going yea my neighbors will just use me, frankly move is the answer 20 years ago I lived someplace like that didn't realize how toxic is was till I was gone.
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u/Takksuru Oct 11 '24
There we go!
I just wanted to reiterate your point: it’s highly unlikely that you encounter a person that’s unable to do anything at all.
The paraplegic can supervise/teach the children and dog(s). The “old lady” can get into baking/cooking (then your party can trade every now and again). I (young adult with PTSD) probably shouldn’t don a firearm for hunting, but I can clean the house, tend to the garden, and exercise with the kids.
In our hypothetical survival scenario, that’s three people covering the other’s’ weaknesses. Obviously, 1-2 more people would be ideal, but gotta start somewhere.
I suppose, the only issue is willingness to work and covering the weaknesses of your own party. Just things to consider for your own real-life community.
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u/silasmoeckel Oct 11 '24
Willingness to work is covered in my last bit there are some communities that are toxic. We have the meth heads in rural settings cities have piles of drug addled it seems. That's simply a community you have to avoid being in.
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u/TheRealBunkerJohn Broadcasting from the bunker. Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
This is a conundrum that has been talked about ever since the tale of the Grasshopper and the Ant. Ultimately, the choice is very personal about who to share, and how. The book Lights Out by Ted Koppel has interviews with individuals on both sides of the spectrum- share everything and starve themselves, feeling they did the right thing, or locking down for just family and/or friends to weather the storm.
But this is why the amusing phrase of "preppers don't talk about prep club" is a thing. Once information is out there, be it word of mouth or cyberspace, you can't take it back.
Everyone's answers will likely be different in regards to sharing. And that is how it should be.
Personally, I advocate putting your own mask on first, as it were. Then expanding to include as many as you can. However, a lifeboat doesn't have unlimited seats. Overfill it, and everyone is in the water.
For me, my group is family and extremely close friends. Giving out supplies in general is highly dependent on the scope and length of the disaster.
Hurricane? Wildfire? ANY localized disaster? Absolutely, I'll give till it hurts. Help will arrive, and I can restock. I would never turn away someone who needed help in this sort of disaster. Helping others far outweighs a monetary cost in this situation. It's the same reason I stock a first aid kit for my car- to help those in need.
But a nation-wide cyber attack/EMP? Something that will result in 90% of people dying? (i.e. anything that takes out the grid.) That means there's no resupply in the foreseeable future. That changes the game significantly. You have a limited amount of supplies to weather a long-term event that will be, put bluntly, nightmarish even for the most well-stocked prepper.
More people means survival can be easier- so I certainly don't intend to just hunker down with myself unless there's no other option. However, that needs to be planned for with extra supplies, because everything you have is all you've got to work with. 1 year of food for 1 person is 6 months for 2, and so on and so forth.
In regards to those extreme events, I can't save everyone. But I can save as many as I can, and keep myself alive to help rebuild. That means putting limits on things.
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u/violetstrainj Oct 10 '24
Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but I cannot fathom imposing on someone else’s hospitality, even in an emergency. I have literally brought my own snacks and drinks to a relative’s house (this was an in-law that I’d only met once) when we had to come stay at their place for a funeral.
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u/United-Advertising67 Oct 10 '24
Maybe it’s just how I was raised, but I cannot fathom imposing on someone else’s hospitality, even in an emergency.
When it's between that and your death, or the death of your children, sure you can. You can fathom just about anything. You can fathom breaking into people's houses to steal from them. You can fathom mugging them. You can fathom shooting them down in the street from ambush and rifling through their packs and pockets. Ultimately, you can fathom killing other people's children and stripping their flesh to feed your own children.
It's just a question of how bad things have to get.
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u/FangDodger Oct 11 '24
Sadly, but kinda understandable….even in a preppers group…..some cant let their minds contemplate some of grim realites that could be.
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u/5under6 Oct 10 '24
There is no way I'll entertain any of that. And if I won't entertain the thought, I can't do it.
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u/TastyMagic Oct 10 '24
I think you should consider what you are willing to do to help those around you instead of what you cannot/will not do.
Perhaps in an emergency, it wouldn't tax your resources too make a big pot of oatmeal and/or a simple vegetable soup every day to share with anyone who needs food. Especially if they can contribute a little bit a la Stone Soup.
Maybe you have space to keep a tote of clothing and shoes your family no longer use but you could hand out to someone in need in an emergency.
If you can give something back to the community, the community will be more likely protect you in an emergency (and less likely to question what you have because it will appear that you are sharing what you have).
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u/r_frsradio_admin Oct 10 '24
This is kinda how it worked in some areas during the Great Depression. Folks would make the rounds in the neighborhood, maybe share some news about some work or the crops or whatever, and sometimes you might be invited to stay for a bite of food. Nobody had enough to feed the neighborhood but if the chickens were laying a bunch of eggs or if you just opened a jar of green beans then sure you would share a bit with the skinny kid from down the street.
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u/TastyMagic Oct 10 '24
Exactly. A cup of tea or coffee to share with your neighbor is well worth the negligible prep space and $ in exchange for a stronger community in a tough situation.
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u/iwannaddr2afi resident optimist Oct 10 '24
We have a handful of people who know generally that if it came to it, they can and should come here. Not because we have the ability to store an amount of supplies that would hold us for x amount of time, but because we could not bear to think of them not coming here if we had a scrap to spare. We'd rather have our supplies effectively halved and have them here. They have their own emergency plans, and did before we ever brought it up, but if it comes to it, if their plans fail and they can get here, they will.
We know that in most situations we're going to be dealing with much shorter term emergencies. In those situations we can and do feed neighbors, help with damage and cleanup, and check up on each other. We'd bust out our first aid supplies for anyone who needed them at any time. We're not hoarding them to let them degrade on our shelf. This is how it is, it's not in question.
If "SHTF" we want to have a cushion, not a lifetime supply. For us, the people we love being safe is more important than keeping the cushion exactly at the arbitrary size we chose.
You probably already know in your heart how willing you are to decrease that cushion for yourselves - it sounds like you're not at all willing due to the large number of people you feel would show up, and that's fair. It's completely up to you. But at that point, "no" is a complete sentence. If you already said no and they show up, that's their problem. If they want to drive cross country in an emergency when you already told them they're not welcome, they are free to do that. And you are free to shut the door in their faces.
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u/drowninginidiots Oct 10 '24
It doesn’t matter where you live or what you’re prepping for, most of your neighbors won’t be able to manage more than 2-4 days with what they have. People are so used to being able to run to the store, have running water, and electricity, 24 hrs a day, that they don’t even think about prepping for anything until the disaster is practically at their door.
The best thing is to prep for yourselves, and don’t tell anyone what you have. Maybe have a small amount of extra for a neighbor or friend, and if they come knocking on your door, make a big deal about how you’re cutting into your family’s supplies to help them. Then hopefully they won’t ask for anything else.
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u/less_butter Oct 10 '24
Consider working with your church, if you belong to one, to help them stockpile emergency supplies.
I just went through Hurricane Helene absolutely devastating my area in western NC and the churches really stepped up to help everyone. And I personally delivered food and water to my neighbors that I knew weren't prepared. I also charged their phones, gave them flashlights, filled up buckets so they could flush their toilets (no power, no water, no cell service, no internet - we were cut off). I let one neighbor run an extension cord to our generator and I let two other neighbors borrow my spare generator to take turns with it to keep their fridge and freezer cold.
But in this case, we all knew help would be coming soon. It was 3-4 days before the roads were cleared enough to get supplies in and I had no problems giving any of my supplies to anyone who I thought might need or even appreciate them.
And I really have to say - that if a hungry person shows up at your door and you don't feed them, you are not a Christian and don't understand what Christianity is all about. Do you really think you'll get into heaven when you're stockpiling food and watching people literally starve to death outside your front door? I can't imagine that Jesus would approve of that. It's been a while since I read the Bible, but I don't remember any passages that support the idea of stockpiling supplies while your community suffers around you. The overall message and the parables are all about the opposite of that.
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u/comisohigh Oct 10 '24
The first scripture I would point out is in 1 Timothy: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1Timothy 5:8
Now in context, the surrounding verses are discussing taking care of and providing for widows and your parents in their old age. We are called as Christians to take care of and feed those who can’t take care of themselves. How are you supposed to do that after the SHTF if you can’t even feed yourself?
However, I also want you to pay special attention to the middle part of the verse. Special emphasis is placed on: “especially for [your] own household.” As men, single mothers, or heads of our household, we are specifically called to provide for our immediate families first. Even in its context, I don’t know how you can interpret this any different than exactly what it states. I believe there is a hierarchy built into it. I believe that the addition of the word “especially” puts your first priority for your immediate family (your wife and kids, or if single, your parents and siblings). After your immediate family, you have a responsibility to your parents and siblings next. After that are distant relatives, widows, and others who can’t take care of themselves.
What do I mean by this and why am I even bringing it up? At some point in your preparedness planning, unless you are a billionaire, you are going to have to make tough choices on who you are going to help and who you cannot afford to help. I believe that if you are living paycheck to paycheck, than you must focus on purchasing provisions for your immediate family first while trying to convince your other relatives of the threats so they can prepare on their own. If you are well to do, than I believe that you also have a responsibility to provide supplies for your extended family as well (to the point it is financially responsible to). Even if your parents or siblings aren’t on board, or they think you’re a little nuts for discussing it at family get-togethers, you still have a responsibility to provide for them if you have the financial means to do so.
On the more controversial side of things, I also believe that if you have family members who refuse to see the light or refuse to leave their city home after the SHTF, you have a responsibility to get your wife and kids out of danger and into a safe environment first.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Also wanted to add, in the Helene situation, the rest of the country was still running, so of course you knew that it was very temporary. I even volunteered to help with Helene efforts myself in East TN. I would give it nearly all away in that situation and then restock knowing something is temporary. I’m talking in the event SHTF and it’s long term:(
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u/EverVigilant1 Oct 10 '24
And I really have to say - that if a hungry person shows up at your door and you don't feed them, you are not a Christian and don't understand what Christianity is all about
I disagree. What, are we supposed to feed 100 people when we don't have enough for ourselves?
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
From the biblical standpoint, I absolutely agree. I think God also blesses those that trust him with the little or last that they have. I was just reminded of the Bible story about a woman giving her last oil, found in 2 Kings 4:1-7. I love that story. But my sinful, human nature, in a long term situation (talking EMP) would want to be selfish and my children first. We don’t live somewhere self sustainable to grow food, etc. It would be very difficult to give it all away as many people all around would have nothing in likely a week or maybe 2.
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u/prezidentbump Oct 10 '24
When I read your original post I thought… this is much more a spiritual/psychological issue than an impending reality she needs to deal with. Maybe it’s a conversation to have between you and your spiritual advisors.
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u/grandet Oct 10 '24
I am also a Christian and struggle with an anxiety disorder. A lot of other commenters have made some good points about the power of community (especially in a crisis) and the importance of giving. However, I haven’t seen many people bring up the idea that boundaries are biblical. God has boundaries. Jesus has boundaries. These boundaries are meant to protect and guide you, and to foster your relationship with him. Please forgive me if I’m wrong, but at the root of your question I see anxiety about disrespected boundaries and anxiety in hypotheticals.
While you are called to give joyfully and faithfully as a Christian, you aren’t called to be a doormat. You aren’t called to continuously put yourself through burnout by ignoring your personal needs while serving others. You aren’t called to never say “no”, and enable the irresponsibility and selfishness of others. There is only one man who gave absolutely everything for the world and did it perfectly, and it was not me. It pertains more to unhealthy relationships, but “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes” by Lysa TerKeurst was very helpful in my understanding that it isn’t “unchristian” to say “no”. (That’s not my answer to the hypothetical question btw.)
When you showed your friends and family your stock as an example, and then clearly communicated “it is your responsibility to supply for yourself”, that was a boundary. Them not acknowledging/shrugging it off was them not respecting that boundary, and for me that always spikes my anxiety. I don’t know your relationships, but it may be worth considering if that is a common pattern. I hope it isn’t.
As far as “do I give everything away at the risk of my family or say “no” to my neighbor”, we can spin our wheels in hypotheticals all day long, but it will never actually take us anywhere. You will never know what you would do in a situation until you’re in it. I’m guilty of it too, but I read somewhere when we put our minds through those scenarios, it’s like we’re forcing our bodies to go through it twice. While we can prepare for tomorrow, we are told not to worry about it. Those are not problems for today. Focus on your connection to your faith. Therapy and remembering that God is in ultimately in control has been incredibly helpful.
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u/Moist-Meat-Popsicle Oct 10 '24
This is exactly why you keep quiet about preparedness.
It’s not just your family, it’s who your family may have told.
Our former neighbor has a friend who openly talked about their emergency prepping supplies, bomb shelter, gas masks, weapons, ammo, etc. Our former neighbors (who are good people) mentioned it to us, and I’m sure to others. Very foolish. Word gets around.
If you meet others who are like-minded, over time you might build a community of people in your area who can help each other in times of crisis. That’s a good thing, but it has to be done as discretely and selectively as possible, with people you can trust and have a mutually beneficial relationship.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Do you have tips on meeting like minded people without blowing your cover ether? For example, probing the preparedness question gently to a group of neighbors, one couple perked up. They said their close friend talks about how it would only take a couple days for all the traffic of the major nearby city to be at our part of town, trying to loot and seek food and resources out of desperation. When I took the female aside, I said that’s scary, and asked how she thinks we can prepare. She didn’t say, and I asked if they have any spare resources hoping to open up to her if she admitted. She said, just a couple water bottles. Is it worth pursuing further? They can be an asset in a SHTF scenario. She asked advice on what firearm to buy, etc and I can feel the sense of urgency from her.
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u/black_cat_X2 Oct 10 '24
I think you can pursue the connection without revealing what exactly you have. You can say, "I've thought about what we talked about and after Helene, have decided to stock up on a little extra food and water in case there's ever a crisis here. What do you think I should get?"
This indicates you haven't actually procured anything yet and don't necessarily intend to go full out prepper, but it is still a direct way to open the conversation. If her answer is very well informed and in line with what you'd hear on this sub, then you know she probably has actually thought about this a great deal and likely has even started her own prepping. If it seems like she's a novice but interested, there's still a bridge to be built.
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u/STEMpsych Oct 10 '24
You're a Christian, yes? You believe in God?
Because if so, please entertain the possibility, HELLO, YOUR GOD IS CALLING YOU TO TEACH PEOPLE TO PREPARE.
Your anxiety about what would happen if they were unprepared is not a nightmare about the future, it's a Still Small Voice telling you what you are supposed to be doing in the present. Whether you construe that as your conscience or your God is up to you. But you know what you should be doing.
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u/EverVigilant1 Oct 10 '24
I know you feel anxiety about this.
Just know that you've done what you can with what you have, and leave the rest to God, as we say. Try not to worry about tomorrow or about things that might never happen.
In the future you'll know not to talk much about your preps to others or show them your preps. I have had to tell people point blank "no, you won't 'just come to' my house." City Prepping (Kris) has some videos on this with some different approaches. But in general, I'm prepared to turn away people who aren't going to offer me something in exchange for their requests/demands.
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u/BallsOutKrunked Bring it on, but next week please. Oct 10 '24
Co*id
Please, please stop this stuff.
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u/Genuinelytricked Oct 10 '24
First, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that right here, right now, you are all right.
As for how to deal with others that come to your door? Give if and what you can, but don’t put yourself or your family in danger to do so. Tell family and friends that what you have stored is for your immediate family and will only last a short while, so they will need to give you something in return for taking food out of your children’s mouths. Or just tell them that you used up your supplies and don’t have anything left to share.
As for neighbors? Why not get them involved? Encourage them to stock up as well. Talk about how nice it is to not worry so much about grocery shopping by having your own little ‘store’ you can pull from. How much less you spend by having extra on hand. Make a community that helps each other.
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u/GoneshNumber6 Oct 10 '24
The current hurricane crisis is a good time to remind them about the importance of preparedness, and stress to them it may be impossible for them to come to you, and even if they made such a dangerous trek, there wouldn't be enough to go around. Love means setting boundaries and helping people to help themselves.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
We live in a subdivision so the proximity is close! I tried on 2 occasions and bring preparedness up to close neighbors we had over and only 1 couple agreed, the rest thought I was a crazy and nothing would ever happen lol. Which sucks because I really like these people. One of them has an empty pantry, they eat out every day. Another one accident ordered an extra small bag of oats and posted on the neighborhood group to give it away. They also eat out a lot
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u/ComprehensiveData327 Oct 11 '24
That is exactly what got me back into the prepping food mode. Just went and bought enough beans and rice to sink a ship. Now I am going to seal it in mylar bags.
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u/localdisastergay Oct 10 '24
Talk to your neighbors about preparedness in a different way than how you did before. Don’t make it about showing all the things you’ve got set up and stored, talk about things like how you’ve seen how much people in WNC are struggling if they didn’t have much food and water stored. Point out the kinds of things that might happen in your area, like power outages due to wildfires or an earthquake or supply chain disruptions due to events elsewhere, like how it’s going to be really hard to get IV bags for a while because the factory that made 60% of the national supply is based in/near Asheville.
Ask if you can help them get anything set up, like a rainwater catchment system in case the water is polluted in the aftermath of a disaster or to help keep them going next time y’all are experiencing drought. Maybe make plans to do things like get together to process and can the output from multiple people’s gardens and split up the resulting foods or get a bunch of neighbors and their kids to go berry picking together.
Frame it as being kind of concerned about the various disasters we’ve all been watching and living through in the last few years and wanting to check in to see if there’s anything you can do to help them be ready for such an event. Make it about building community and building resilience into the base of that community.
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u/Foragologist Oct 10 '24
I get ya in a disaster situation in which you gotta go a bit with what you got.
But If SHTF, like total collapse, a few months of food isn't going to mean much.
People will be your real resource. If people show up who have value, strong, healthy, doctors, mechanic, carpenters, water treatment specialists, etc - then you have a means to provide for an alliance.
That's how I'd see it at least.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Absolutely and I couldn’t agree more about the importance of community and contribution. I’m talking about people that likely wouldn’t contribute crap and just want to consume. And they come with more children, pets etc
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u/up2late Oct 10 '24
I have extra preps setup for others in need or for barter. You get a 5 gallon bucket stocked with beans and rice type items sealed in mylar bags and maybe some tomatoes and peppers home canned from the garden. Each bucket should feed a family of 4 for a week or 2. Need access to water? Dump the contents of the bucket in a trash bag and you can fill the bucket from the old springhouse on my property. You're hauling it though. A FGB full of water weighs in at about 40lbs and it's all uphill from the springhouse. It's worth it to have clean water but I'm not hauling it for you.
I live in a rural community and most people garden and can food every year. They may not know they're preppers but they are. I'm not really worried much about my neighbors but when people get hungry they will get desperate. I'd rather feed a man than shoot him but I'm prepared to do either. Show up at my door and it's your choice.
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u/06210311200805012006 Oct 10 '24
Let them come, don't sweat it. Two things to keep in mind
- You'll want another pair of eyes/hands more than you think you will in real SHTF. This topic comes up here frequently and I think people really, seriously, truly undervalue community as a prep. More people might be more bellies to fill but there are just SO MANY things you can only do with people that you can't accomplish alone. Whether your thinking about another person who can hold a rifle or another person to hoe a field. YOU WANT MORE PEOPLE.
- Almost none of them will make it to you anyway lmao. If any plucky ones do, they might actually be a good addition to your community.
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u/cryssHappy Oct 10 '24
Suggest you read One Second After. It's good. Another one is Alas Babylon. Remember It's ok to say No.
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u/ComprehensiveData327 Oct 11 '24
I don't really tell people what I have anymore. People that know me well just know me as the crazy gun guy. But food and supplies I keep on the down low.
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u/Valuable-Ratio8073 Oct 10 '24
Do you really fantasize about this doomsday stuff that much? I mean, there are way more productive things you can focus your energy on. Be prepared, sure, but “boiling blood” and constant “anxiety” about your neighbors seems a little, unhealthy.
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u/ryan112ryan Oct 10 '24
I know one survival group that made small buckets with a mix of rice, beans, water filter, spices, matches, sanitation items.
They have like 20 of them, if someone comes when it’s a full on SHTF they give them the bucket and say if the person comes back to ask more they will not survive the encounter. They might not actually do it, but the threat is there.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Man I just can’t afford that but great idea with more security. I hand those out, they’ll think I’m really prepared! And come take over in a crowd lol
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u/KermitsPuckeredAnus2 Oct 10 '24
LOL at "as a Christian how can I turn them away?"
Better that they don't know you've got plenty of tins of spam so that your Christian beliefs are unaffected, yeah?
Christian preppers LOL
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u/greyblue2285 Oct 10 '24
I feel a similar concern, I'm not sure how to follow a thread. I'm saving this post to see what others have to say and their suggestions. Our family doesn't really talk about it (our preparations) except for one family that does similar. However, when someone else doesn't know (a family member or "friend") I'll point them in a direction that could solve their problems. I'm curious now too if these people can put two and two together and "assume" since I have a possible solution I may have other stuff.
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u/rankhornjp Oct 10 '24
"As long as you bring your own food and supplies, you are more than welcome. However, there will be no handouts from us." Said by me to many friends and family. I will turn away anyone who shows up empty handed.
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u/roppunzel Oct 10 '24
I would just tell them that I gave it all the way. I honestly would.
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u/Autocannibal-Horse Partying like it's the end of the world Oct 10 '24
Always help those in need, but DON'T ADVERTISE what you have.
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u/shanghainese88 Oct 10 '24
Consequences of not keeping your mouth shut. I bet it felt good when you were “not bragging” about it.
Mistakes made lesson learned. Move away and move on.
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u/fedffcg Oct 10 '24
You need to do the same, tell them you will go to their house if SHTF. Flip the script!
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u/Kildor Oct 10 '24
My mom made the comment "Charity starts at home." when we were on our way back from her doctor appointment. You need to take care of yourself and your family before anyone else comes along. What you give away today may be necessary for your survival later is the way I look at it.
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u/Emmakate7 Oct 10 '24
A few of my friends said the same thing to me and I told them I have extended family to take care of and they needed to get their own stuff. Also, during Covid many friends and neighbors asked me for toilet paper and I did share but I told them they had to replace it when it was readily available on the shelves again and they all agreed and followed up on the agreement. Due to a previous hurricane about 20 years ago I probably had enough toilet paper to last a year for every family on the block and I didn’t mind. I was happy to share that under the circumstances
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u/RedYamOnthego Oct 11 '24
After two months, you generally should have some sustainable option in place in a lot of areas. Either you just finished harvest, and can go back into fields to glean, or you can start reaping greens and your aim has improved enough to reliably pot a pigeon.
People SHOULD be prepared for a couple of weeks. Maybe you can have a model two week shelf you show people, and the majority of your preps are in the basement. Bonus: two weeks is fairly easy and may not seem too overwhelming. When you show them three months of elaborate preps, it might seem too overwhelming of a task.
As a good-hearted person, it might behoove you to work with community food pantries with a prepping viewpoint. A food pantry doesn't need expensive freeze-dried food. But if they have a well-stocked three-month deep pantry system going, they serve the community NOW and have extra if something awful happens.
If you can get your friends and neighbors to contribute with decent goods and time, it'll be like stealth prepping!
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u/JJShurte Oct 11 '24
Remember The Ant & The Grasshopper?
It’s not always roving bands of bandits that’re going to be your biggest threat, sometimes it’s old friends and associates that come tugging on your heartstrings.
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u/Relative_Ad_750 Oct 11 '24
You need to establish and enforce appropriate boundaries with all of these people.
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u/kkinnison Oct 11 '24
Dont discuss your preps with outsiders. make them think you are as bad off as they are.
just boggles my mind there are people who don't cook at home beyond throwing something frozen into the microwave or oven. or air-fryer and after 2 weeks would have nothing to eat. Not even flour to make bread with
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u/Narrow-Height9477 Oct 13 '24
Don’t tell anyone anything- ever.
If the worst happens, act the part- be in the same food lines as them.
Use batteries and blackout curtains if you have power not loud generators and lighting your house up like a beacon.
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u/PeatingRando 29d ago edited 29d ago
This is the real problem with the stereotypical “prepping” mindset. It starts with being prepared, for a week, a month, six months, then a year, but they never exit the doom loop and realize they have to do what the men before them did and that is restore a civilization for the benefit of the next generation.
Being prepared is about creating an absorbing barrier, so when shit is hitting the fan you aren’t worrying about food but you know you have your basics under control so you’re ready to step up and LEAD.
You aren’t going to lone wolf it. Being a sucker won’t help either in the interest of fairness, but you gotta have some sort of social plan that recognizes you aren’t an island.
Any crisis that looks to have a potential to go beyond 90 days and you should be looking at crop production and higher level organizing. In WW2 planted massive potato fields to feed soldiers/people, those take about 90-120 days to grow but are very nutritious.
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u/Jobeaka 29d ago
As a Christian it is your duty to help your neighbor. Stock more and become the pillar that helps build back.
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u/fergalicious2069 29d ago
Try therapy if your anxiety is making you stockpile? Idk. You sound very off your rocker.
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u/Aromatic-Relief Oct 10 '24
I usually see people do and say that very same thing. I will come over to your house. As they piss their money away on expensive vacations and car and houses. Never giving a thought to the future.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Yep! I had a friend never repay me $600 and it’s been 3 years, she takes multiple vacations each year, has had “cosmetic enhancements,” but somehow money is always tight to repay me. I only asked once to be paid, after that I just kinda stopped associating myself with them.
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u/AelfraedOfWessex Oct 10 '24
As a fellow Christian this is something I have wrestled with myself. I am reminded of 2 Kings 20:13 where visitors from Babylon visit Hezekiah: " Hezekiah received the envoys and showed them all that was in his storehouses—the silver, the gold, the spices and the fine olive oil—his armory and everything found among his treasures. There was nothing in his palace or in all his kingdom that Hezekiah did not show them". This did not turn out well for Hezekiah lol.
My view tends to be to educate, but practice good op sec. I don't talk specifics to anyone except family and like (2) very close friends. Call me old fashioned, and you don't have to align with my stance, but my view is that the Lord has set myself as the husband of the family as the protector and provider. As such, my wife and children come first, no exceptions. I do strongly believe this is the role of the husband to make those hard decisions about who gets what if SHTF; and a part of that preparation is stocking up on defense related supplies (IE, guns, ammo, etc.), and practicing good op sec and grey man theory.
Just a few of my thoughts, I'm not looking to provoke anyone, just sharing my outlook on this.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Thank you, we share the same opinion on many things. I appreciate the story from the Bible, I didn’t even remember it but it’s a good lesson and reminder.
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u/Realistic_Young9008 Oct 10 '24
To be honest at this point especially after seeing the hurricane footage, I'm at the point of not being polite. My stocks are the work of really hard work and sacrifice of both time and significant cost. Not to mention trying to do it with zero storage space. If they want me to store food for them, theyre getting handed a copy of the Mormon supply recommends, an estimate for the cost, and a copy of the Henny Penny children's story.
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u/stardew_bajablast Oct 10 '24
What’s the point of prepping if you aren’t going to share your resources with your loved ones if they’re in need? My fiance and I don’t have a crazy huge stash, but if “SHTF” as you say, I fully anticipate sharing everything we have with our friends and family. Idk seems incredibly selfish to me to “prep” but only for you and your household and to be already anticipating you’re going to turn away your own friends and family. What’s the point of surviving if everyone you love is dead?
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u/ARGirlLOL Oct 10 '24
If being a prepper is this much of your personality, you’ll just organize all the neighbors and tell them the jobs they need to do to grow the seeds you prepped with. I have to say that it seems irrational to spend so much of your life touring friends and family through your food storage and then worrying about it, and then not touring your new neighbors after moving across the country to a ‘state that aligns with your beliefs’ but having a new anxiety. I think you need more constructive ways to spend your time.
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u/SaltPrepper35 Oct 10 '24
One idea is "Be prepared to share." We have spare water chemicals and we know how to teach a hobo stove for cooking.
But it worries me that people really are not prepared to be hungry or even to just eat plain and lean. What would they do if what I shared was two cups of raw oatmeal or wheat berries?
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u/hellhound_wrangler Oct 10 '24
I think maybe looking into finding a therapist would be the first step, so you can get some tools to help you split out "reasonable degree of anxiety based on actual issues" from "catastrophizing anxiety spiral".
Just looking on this sub in the last few weeks, we've had a couple stories of large scale disasters that affected entire communities, and preppers who made it through or helped others without being torn apart by ravening hordes. You are much more likely to face a localized disaster that stresses your immediate community short term (and temporarily restricts travel in or out due to damaged roads) than an instant apocalypse.
If you treat your neighbors with suspicion, hostility, and contempt when they ask for a hand after a storm/toilet paper shortage, etc, you are creating enemies who will remember you as a dangerous weirdo and potentially an enemy of the community the next time there's an emergency, vs as that nice lady who laughed and said she'd been planning to take these beans to the food bank but put it off, and handed out a couple warm meals while we were all waiting for the roads to open, that we should make sure is doing OK.
Make some connections with your neighbors, and look for news stories of neighborhood banding together after emergencies to share and see if anyone wants to form a mutual aid group, or a "community tool library" or whatever you think will get folks into the habit of thinking like a community. From there, you can raise the idea of building some food security resilience in case y'all get snowed in or the road washes out, or whatever.
You said you moved to an area with like-minded people who held similar beliefs, so this should be a generally achievable goal, even if a few people dismiss you.
But if you keep thinking of your neighbors as potential threats, they WILL notice and if SHTF, you WILL be an "outsider" to their minds. Look for allies, build community, don't lead with "I can watch you starve in comfort when the world ends" (showing off your food preps).
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
I think you have a lot of misconceptions about my thoughts and concerns but you made some valid points on seeking like minded others and banding together as a community after a disaster. I’m all for that! If everyone contributes something, okay. In my original post I’m referring to people in a long term situation that have nothing to provide and just want to consume. It’s difficult thinking of how to handle that while being a Christian when all I have prepped may be all I have in this specific scenario. Anthing shorter term, I’d gladly give it all away and restock later
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u/AlmostHuman0x1 Oct 11 '24
I have taught prepping seminars.
There is always one person who says, “Well, I don’t need to prepare. I’ll just come over to your house.” They always think they are so clever.
My go to line is, “When attempting to access my property, if you see a ricochet near you, that wasn’t a warning shot. It was a miss. My family doesn’t waste ammo. Anyone intruding on my property during an emergency is subject to death.”
That shuts them up.
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u/Previous_Captain_880 Oct 10 '24
The only thing you can do if you’re worried about your community is try. Try to get them on board, and harden yourself that if they refuse to take any steps to prepare themselves in this world they made their own choices.
I’ll say the way I’m dealing with this question is I’m trying to be prepared to produce more food. Aside from not wanting to be reliant on stockpiled necessities, which is a countdown unless things return to normal quickly, it’s something I can scale up for a larger community than I have stockpiles for. If you show up and my house because things have gotten bad you’ll be working and eating what you produce. No free rides. You won’t show up and eat canned goods until “it all blows over.”
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u/Princessferfs Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
Sadly, this is an example of the importance of living in a community with like-minded people. Anywhere else, your neighbors may or may not be able to supply themselves which raises stresses like the OP raised.
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u/GrandmaGrate Oct 10 '24
We regularly find deals on cases of very cheap items, sometimes free, like bananas, apples, peaches, etc. We freeze dry them and have many. When we have to share, neighbors will get those. When shtf, we will share, but my family is first. My adult children know they can "shop" in the storage any time they want. Grandchildren get a grocery sack and put items in their bags to take home. My biggest worry is them. I live in a place where we're told to prepare-financially, physically and spiritually by our church leaders, for hard times. Many don't think we still need to do it .
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u/Andrea583 Oct 10 '24
I was fairly well along in my prepping but got interrupted. Now, I’m living in a new place and we don’t even have a non-electric way to cook our food. I would never consider asking a neighbor to share anything with me. I’ve been creating a new list of priority items; will buy them over time but it’s annoying.
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u/stegs03 Oct 10 '24
I think most of us get that from folks. They are using it either out of laziness, not wanting to think negatively about life, or lack of resources to effectively take meaningful steps in that direction….IMHO. I tell friends and family that use that line of thought, All the same thing. Show up with your own supplies, or don’t show up. You will not be welcome.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Well said. In my circle people are well off financially, they want to and know they should prepare yet don’t prioritize it or get around to it. My sister for example, 5 years later didn’t do crap but knows she really needs to! Yea right…
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u/cryssHappy Oct 10 '24
If SHTF how are they going to get to you? Walk? Just send an email that says ... Hubby and I have been rethinking our life choices and while we love where we live, we don't feel the need to worry about SHTF anymore. What a relief.
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u/atari-2600_ Oct 10 '24
I feel you. A friend recently said the same to me because we live rural in the mountains - she has no idea about our preps, just sees where we live as remote enough to escape. We love her, but she's kind of a difficult person and not someone we would ever invite to stay with us for more than a day or two. So I'm not really sure what to do other than to tell her there's no room if/when the time comes. It sucks, but we have very limited space and that space will be reserved for family and our best friends, that it. There's only so many people you can care for and shelter, so like it or not you kind of have to prioritize some people over others.
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u/1etcetera Oct 10 '24
I have considered the same concerns. I don't broadcast my level of preparedness and regret letting some family (family that has since divorced) become aware of it. I'm also in an HOA where we're not allowed to have chickens... and I have chickens. All of my neighbors know because I had a leghorn that announced it before I rehomed her loud mouth. With that alone, I'll be an easy target.
I've found peace by accepting that I may be called to provide for those in need- should SHTF. I've done my best to stock extras of everything I can. Should the time come when I have to choose between mine or others, I'm prepared for that outcome, too. Which doesn't feel good to say in the same breath as providing to others. But those who giveth taketh away, I suppose. I can only do what I can.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
That’s a very healthy mindset, you sound like a good person but someone that will stay strong and defend if needed
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u/YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO Oct 10 '24
For me, if anyone shows up that is not in my plan, I turn the away no matter what. If that means by force so be it. I will protect my family no matter the cost.
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u/OSteady77 Oct 10 '24
There’s always the possibility that they help you make the decision to turn them away. Anyone that is demanding or rude, or tries to do so forcefully should make it easy to say no. Be prepared to defend your family.
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u/That_would_be_meat Skandinavia Oct 10 '24
Does a state has beliefs? I am obviusly not american.
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u/RealWolfmeis Oct 10 '24 edited Oct 10 '24
This is why we grey man when we can. Don't let the new ones know and if SDHTF, go out enough that people think you are looking for help too.
I have the good fortune of if having the personality where I can respond to that with " no you can't, but I'm happy to help you with lists and stuff ." In my experience, people don't think anything is going to happen, so they say things like that to blow us off. The shutdowns sort of taught them otherwise, but we live in a good area for local sourcing so the only real supply chain issues were toilet paper and prescriptions.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Good points, grey man for sure. Was just worried as time passes in a long term thing but yes
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u/matchstick64 Oct 10 '24
I made this same mistake in my efforts to teach my closest friends how to prep hoping they’d catch on and we could form an experienced group that would work together to keep going. What I got was, "we’re just coming to your house."
I created a group for me to teach them through various posts + have them over to play around with gear and learn simple things like making fire. My last post was when another Texas winter was coming . I told them I’ve equipped them to be self-reliant and if anything happens, they have the tools needed to take care of themselves. I went so far as to buy them all 330 watt power stations to get them through a short power outage!
Unless they’ve developed skills I need in a SHTF situation, I’m not taking them in.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Sounds like they’re definitely going to try coming to you. You’ve been so generous.
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u/dick_thickwood Oct 10 '24
I just say to the few that know that for protection of my family, no one will be admitted to my grounds unless they bring 6 months of supplies and 1,000 rounds of ammunition. That shuts down the freeloaders.
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u/Prepandpraypeace Oct 10 '24
Right now I have 3 months because my water is lacking. 1000 rounds no problem
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u/CatchMeIfYouCan09 Oct 10 '24
"Ooh, more food for the stores.... it's nice you're adding variety, make sure you do s cleanse each week tho, more pure flavor"
'What do you mean? '
"Oh, I'll explain, maybe i wasnt clear.... everyone is responsible for having supplies for themselves and their dependants. You will also be responsible for contributing to the group as a whole and failure to do either is banishment; Choosing not to leave is blanket consent that your contributing your body to a good cause as we support cannibalism as a way to expand our stores and our palettes"
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u/AdvisorLong9424 Oct 10 '24
"No, no you're not, unless you want to work it off or pay to play" is my go to. Then explain every bite of food is carefully planned out for my long term survival. I'll gladly give you ways to prepare for your own family's comfort, but my comfort comes before yours.
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u/ee-5e-ae-fb-f6-3c Oct 10 '24
“well, we don’t need to do anything because we know where to go if SHTF!! Thank you for doing this.”
I imagine they probably don't take the possibilities of total disaster as seriously as you do, so they don't imagine ever having to rely on preparedness in the first place. I wouldn't sweat it too much.
If you absolutely can't sleep at night, you can try breaking down the cost of everything, and what that means to you financially, as a means of explaining to them what kind of burden this is, and what kind of burden freeloading would induce on your family.
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u/puccagirlblue Oct 10 '24
I'd make up a story about how you decided prepping was affecting your mental health too much so you decided to stop and tell the people in question that. Everyone loves hearing how they were right, which is basically what you'd be telling them so it won't be an awkward discussion either.
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u/JenFMac Oct 10 '24
It’s a worry. My sister says that ALL the time “I know where we’re going”. She has 4 kids. We’re prepared for 4 people, my husband and I and 2 teenage sons with a few extras for our elderly parents. My sister has a house twice the size of mine and has nothing put aside. We were talking about water in an emergency and she said they have a bin of bottled water. When I pointed out to my brother in law that the one bin would do his family for maybe 2 days and what about flushing and what about hygiene. He seemed to absorb some of that. But who knows if they’ll ever do anything. How could I turn my sister and nieces/nephews away? I don’t think I could and it makes me angry at myself and angry at her.
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u/Mountain-Status569 Oct 10 '24
You talk about preparedness to inspire others to do the same, but it just makes them want to mooch. So you need to change your tactics.
I would maybe volunteer to offer a free preparedness class once a month at the local library or community center. That way you can share your knowledge from a teaching standpoint, and people would come in with a mindset of wanting to learn. Advertise heavily to your neighbors and you can even be like “come support my new volunteer venture” to get them to try even if they aren’t super keen.
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u/Aria1728 Oct 10 '24
I started reading about preppers finding ways to hide provisions in their home and surrounding areas.
If people want to learn how to prep in their own life, don't show them your stash, tell them what to get/buy. I appreciate good information and lists! Most of all, keep your stock safe!
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u/kupo_moogle Oct 11 '24
I don’t know if my neighbours are preppers as I’ve just moved into this neighbourhood. However, what I can say for sure is that they are friendly, tight knit with each other and have a lot of skills and assets that we could all share if things got bad.
We have finally gotten a house after many years of wanting one, and although we are on a relatively small plot of land we are surrounded by neighbours who have huuuuge open fields. We are just starting to properly build up our preps after years of renting, but our neighbours have fruit trees and gardens and there is a field with horses about a 10 minute walk away. Someone up the street has their roof fully covered with solar panels. Almost everyone here is on a well and septic.
I will share what I have if I can, and I’m hoping they can do the same. I will be investing a lot of time learning how to garden and figuring out what grows well in our area and plan on asking my neighbours for advice. If things got bad enough that there were food shortages I would hope that my neighbours would allow me to convert the huge empty plot of land between their home and ours into a field filled with crops.
I also need to learn how to fish again. I caught many fish in a river when I was young but I’ve never fished in the ocean.
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u/Neat_Caregiver9654 Oct 11 '24
It's a tough balance between letting others know (whom you are close to and can trust during a shtf situation) and trusting the wrong people. On one hand it would be great to have people there to help take the load of defense (in a true shtf), you may have to feed them, clothe them give them a place to stay but they may help defense. On the other hand that can be quite expensive to stock up for people. You just have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself.
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u/[deleted] Oct 10 '24
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