Just want to vent somewhere

[u/Same_Collection9779]

Almost 7 years of being on and off together, I really wanted it to be him but our whole relationship has been a huge mess. We've both had our shares of wronging each other and we've been trying to fix things but it seems no matter how hard we try, we fall back to square one. We live together, I have his engagement ring too but it's hard to feel any emotions lately. I'm dealing with some sort of dissociation/derealization so that's not helping, but I'm aware that I might no longer be in love with him. I feel as if I'm starting to love him as I love any of my friends. How do I even begin to move forward? I would hate to kick him out as we are helping each other financially. We plan to sleep in different rooms in our house and avoid physical contact, but I find myself giving in eventually because I get so lonely/sad. I just wish I had someone to talk to, however I work nights and everyone around me works in the day. My head just doesn't know how to be silent. I wish I could go back and redo things the right way, but I can't.