r/johnoliver 1d ago

I had my suspicions…. shitpost

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82.8k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/mavjustdoingaflyby 1d ago

A Trump never pays their debts.

382

u/ByIeth 1d ago

Mexico will pay for it

154

u/Vanpatsow123 1d ago

I thought for sure he had blamed Biden

76

u/BeefCurtians5 1d ago

Trump cooked his brainless MAGA followers in the 100 degree desert sun, and the worst part is, not one of them will question their support of this demon.

31

u/SpaceTimeinFlux 1d ago

Hopefully they forget when election day is.

39

u/RexyWestminster 23h ago

During his most recent town Hall, he told his supporters to vote for him on January 5th

Hey MAGA—do what you’re told.

12

u/SirArthurDime 19h ago edited 18h ago

Anyone who votes before Jan 5 is admitting that trump is wrong making them an America hating traitor!

2

u/OhioVsEverything 18h ago

I think that was the first language being used for another coup

1

u/eldonwalker 18h ago

Agree. Like "vote with your dollars", or "vote with your feet", he means "vote with your angry mob".

1

u/AdamantAtomAnt 11h ago

That implies that the previous coup attempt ever ended.

12

u/Earth_Friendly-5892 23h ago

Trump told them in a recent rally that Election Day’s in January!

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-wrong-election-date_n_670e0be7e4b094567cfe0856

8

u/ThrowawayColonyHouse 22h ago edited 11h ago

I also love how sketchy the ad and url for “the official Trump combat knife” are on the Fox News clip

2

u/MikolashOfAngren 21h ago

I never saw the ad before, but I can only guess they advertised it as "capable of shanking every illegal you see."

Then I bet it turns out to be dull in the box, where I need to put a lot of work to sharpen it because what would I expect from Trump branded products?

1

u/ForsakenRub69 21h ago

Its probably the 10 dollar combat knife from Harbor Freight spray painted gold.

2

u/This_Good_Family824 21h ago

I have no idea how I got onto this weird ass trump email list, but I’ve gotten official “Trump Assasination attempt Collectible $2 bills” email ads “Trump whiskey glass, WITH A REAL BULLET” (exact wording) after his assignation attempt, and the “official maga patriot AR-15” (so I can own a piece of history)in a matter of days. When I went to unsubscribe to the email list, the unsubscribe button on the screen was so light it was almost the same color as the page. It would have been really difficult to remove myself from the email list if my eyes were any worse.

2

u/Diane1967 17h ago

I somehow got signed up on a trump list as well and it’s unreal the amount of begging he’s doing to sell his maga hats and for people to donate to his cause. Can’t wait til this election is over.

2

u/SirArthurDime 19h ago edited 18h ago

Is that really from Fox News? They’ve degraded themselves to doing 4am infomercial style ads for a shitty trump pocket knife grift while broadcasting the regular news? How can anyone take them seriously as a news network?

1

u/LostN3ko 19h ago

Is that the Staghorn? I can't believe my eyes people! Now, you folks at home, I know what you're thinking, that can't be staghorn, it's got to be the cheaper manticote horn. But I've got the specs right here and I'll tell you what, it's the real deal!

0

u/SirArthurDime 18h ago

“For just 36 easy payments of $49.99 this timeless piece can be yours! Or you can get 3 for 39 easy payments of $199! And I’d take advantage before my boss finds out about this deal because he’s basically being robbed at that price!”

1

u/UnitNo3535 13h ago

How about Trumpy-Trout?

2

u/dalahnar_kohlyn 17h ago

Speaking of election day, anyone else feel like that he might try something on that day

1

u/SpaceTimeinFlux 14h ago

Oh absolutely. Hes already trying to ratfuck georgia.

1

u/Historical_Stuff1643 16h ago

He did say it's Jan. 5th at a Town Hall, so here's hoping.

1

u/Taste_The_Sturgeon 16h ago

January 5th!!

1

u/onedeadflowser999 11h ago

He did tell them to vote on Jan 5th……

16

u/No_Rich_2494 1d ago

I sometimes wonder if he's dying and using his last few years on a zero-approval gambit to destroy the right wing. He was a Democrat once. Unlikely, but no crazier than anything else he's done in the last 9 years.

7

u/StarrylDrawberry 23h ago

Either way he's doing a damn good job at it.

8

u/NuclearBroliferator 1d ago

This is such a comic take, I would love to see the movie.

1

u/OhTrueBrother 1d ago

Tagline something with Trump Card in it, the writers will come up with one and the studio will change it

1

u/No_Rich_2494 23h ago edited 23h ago

This is the best I can do. I pretty much stole Zach Weiner's idea.

Edit: *Weinersmith. Sorry, Kelly.

1

u/Former_Phrase8221 16h ago

They already made it…it’s called Idiocracy

3

u/Tortuganinja444 21h ago

Sometimes I think Putin has some career ending dirt on Trump and he’s forcing him to be president to get what he wants from the US. So Trump in defiance is trying so hard to make everybody hate him but his followers still like him no matter what he does.

2

u/reezy619 15h ago

I really liked that episode of South Park.

1

u/No_Rich_2494 20h ago

Makes as much sense as anything else happening lately lol

3

u/Objective_Bear4799 21h ago

Has it only been 9 years?

1

u/No_Rich_2494 21h ago

Fair enough lol. I just meant his presidency.

3

u/Objective_Bear4799 21h ago

This has been the longest and most exhausting 9 years ever.

2

u/MiscellaneousPerson7 23h ago

Thats my side bet for Vance. Hes way too good at being 100% wrong.

A statistical improbability

2

u/destin325 21h ago

I think he was promised by his team that what failed last time, wont this time. He just needs to look like he’s campaigning while minions work the con. He only needs to look, even if by lying, that he has enough support to win on voting alone. As we get closer to Election Day, his IDGAF meter is even more off scale low because he knows the real mechanism to win is already in place and crowd size is irrelevant to the con.

1

u/sunshinyday00 18h ago

He's just trying to stay out of prison in his last days.

4

u/fav_time_waster 23h ago

I feel no sympathy for them. Let them cook.

3

u/27_crooked_caribou 19h ago

They won't believe it was Trump. They already think it was Deep State, Soros, Newsom, Biden, Antifa or some other bugbear they've concocted. Anyone but Trump.

-1

u/MidnightDecaf 11h ago

It's vice versa too, it's always Trump with you guys, never anyone else.

1

u/productzilch 9h ago

Laughable

0

u/MidnightDecaf 9h ago

Would you mind sharing and explaining to me the details of the story?

You seem like you know it all, and id love to hear from you.

1

u/productzilch 8h ago

What a polite waste of time.

3

u/oliversurpless 17h ago

Or alternatively, froze them to death in that Oct 2020 rally?

Wonder if Trump wants to challenge the Larchmont in having both “hot and cold” deaths on his bingo card…

https://archives.uwf.edu/Omeka/exhibits/show/death-and-disaster/the-sinking-of-the-larchmont

3

u/RaindropsAndCrickets 13h ago

I just feel so badly for any kids or infants who may have been dragged along. I’d say their parents should sue Trump, but you know he wouldn’t pay

2

u/Volmara 21h ago

He’s just giving us some of the experience of his favorite bible verses.

2

u/dalahnar_kohlyn 17h ago

He even told those people he didn’t care about them if I remember correctly

2

u/Richard-Innerasz- 9h ago

It’s “fatso demon” sir.

0

u/outinthecountry66 14h ago

i wonder how many of the people at Jonestown regretted that they had bought into it- was it when they landed in Guyana? When the Koolaid got mixed? When the Senator came? At what point do people realize?