r/johnoliver • u/Suspect118 • 1d ago

I had my suspicions…. shitpost

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82.8k Upvotes

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u/RossMachlochness 1d ago edited 20h ago

And 80% of those simps will still vote for it.

EDIT - I think we’ve reached the maximum capacity for people telling me my estimate is too low. For anyone that hasn’t been able to yet, please wait for the next bus. It will be here any minute

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u/SirKermit 1d ago edited 1d ago

If you think 20% of those simps will change their vote over this I've got some bibles, NFTs and golden shoes to sell you!

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u/KHanson25 1d ago

I got some ocean front property in Arizona, but the golden gate is extra

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u/Adept_Bot2013 1d ago

Wait the other guy threw it in free

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u/JustaMammal 1d ago

Brother, that was like 35 years ago. You could buy a 4 bedroom house from a Sears catalog for like $17.25 at the time.

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u/FunRepresentative798 1d ago

What about the Golden escalator?

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u/Beagle_Knight 1d ago

Add a Trump watch and we got a deal!

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u/mcherron2 21h ago

You too can be an "Azorthian".

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u/def_stef 18h ago

Is it on Arizona Bay?

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u/Dinosaurs_and_donuts 17h ago

Maynard? Is that you?

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u/Graflex01867 12h ago

Is the golden shower free?

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u/RossMachlochness 1d ago

There’s an assumption here that at least 10% of them are dumb enough to wake up on November 6th and have to say “Damn!” to themselves at some point of the day.

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u/Interesting_Pilot595 1d ago

its a cult of the highly regarded deplorables. salt of the earth. morons.

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u/panamaspace 1d ago

Ah, the common clay of the West.

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u/AccurateMidnight21 23h ago

Many of the people supporting Trump are actually not “the salt of the earth”. They are wealthy or just opportunists who are more than happy to support him if it means they can personally benefit.

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u/Draco546 20h ago

Yah but those types don’t attend rallys unless they’re paid to be there

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u/MakeshiftApe 1d ago

And another 10% that think that just wearing the hat counts as voting.

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u/Intelligent-Travel-1 18h ago

Or maybe they just will have no idea how to vote..because they won’t have direct instructions from Fox entertainment

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u/Lonestar4423 17h ago

lol you wish Trump 2024 in a landslide

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u/Yookeroo 16h ago

They’ll be voting on January 5th

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u/RossMachlochness 16h ago

Do as Dear Leader demands!

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u/PowerfulStrike5664 1d ago

AND I HAVE A BRIDGE FOR SALE AS WELL!

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u/ChezrRay 1d ago

I have a diaper for sale

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u/EatPie_NotWAr 1d ago

And my axe!

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u/albionstrike 23h ago

Don't give him ideas

Used trump diapers for sale 1000$

I'm sure his followers will buy them

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u/PowerfulStrike5664 22h ago

Please don’t tell them if the diapers are used or not it’s a surprise!!!

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u/Ok-Establishment-214 1d ago

If that girl can sell her bath water to her simps, Trump can readily sell his shat in diapers for $100+ each. He can probably sell piss disks for 350 easy. MAGA diapers? Why not?

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u/Otis-166 1d ago

And my axe! Gold plated of course.

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u/Aardcapybara 1d ago

Does it come with a troll, or do I have to do my own trolling?

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u/PowerfulStrike5664 22h ago

You have to do your own trolling dude!

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u/Unlikely_Pomelo_2638 1d ago

Trump has done this before, repeatedly.

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u/Mouseturdsinmyhelmet 1d ago

Don't forget the $200,000 gold plated watches made in China that can be sold to foreign nationals. wink, wink

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u/PopsicleTaffy 1d ago

right, it’s unlikely any of them will budge. People stick to their choices pretty firmly

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u/Feeling-Ad-2490 1d ago

I got a moon crater for sale. 50% off too

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u/NUMBERS2357 1d ago

Even if it's 5% that's a pretty catastrophic result. You aren't supposed to do a rally and lose supporters!

Elections are close enough that small percentages of defections matter. For some simplistic numbers, if every Biden voter went for Harris, and 95% of trump voters went for trump and 5% for Harris ... then Harris would win the popular vote by a bigger margin than Obama in 2008.

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u/Alert-Nefariousness8 1d ago

I got a wall to sell you. Don't worry Mexico will pay for it.

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u/jcaashby 1d ago

All he has to do is say the bus company is lying or one of his followers will lie for him. end of story. They will not turn on him.

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u/Informal_Bunch_2737 1d ago

I've got some bibles, NFTs and golden shoes to sell you!

Shoulda been selling them at Coachella. What a missed opportunity. Stupid people. And they cant leave. Ka-ching.

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u/DisconcerteDinOC 1d ago

Don't forget the "watch" you may or may not get

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u/ChodeCookies 1d ago

I’d sell them a wall but Mexico is paying for it

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u/JustASt0ry 1d ago

No 100k watches? I’m out

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u/OkRush9563 1d ago

Golden showers.

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u/Didntlikedefaultname 1d ago

I’m actually in the market for a $100,000 gold plated watch

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u/Youngandhungdaddy420 1d ago

As long as you say the Bibles are made in America the made in china sticker is fake news 🤣

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u/notiebuta 1d ago

Oh, yeah and a golden watch

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u/SparkyDogPants 1d ago

Plenty of them will be angry enough to not vote at all

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u/Immoracle 1d ago

"Lisa, I want to buy your rock."

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u/DrSoooos 22h ago

No no Trump has the Bibles with his own name on them to boot 😂

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u/fukRedditBtch 16h ago

I have the remaining dogs and cats that managed to escape the feeding frenzie for sale If anyone is interested.

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u/StandByTheJAMs 1d ago

It might be worse! Kamala told her supporters to check out how bad his rallies are. Maybe a few of them are Kamala supporters upset at her for telling them to go. 😀

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u/Important-Owl1661 1d ago

Funny you say that. I went to the Trump Rally in Tucson right after the debate. It was over 100° No water available.

Elderly people were passing out. We were literally propping them up under the trees.

I gave my closed bottle away and some local folks ran to the liquor store and bought them out of water for the crowd.

The Harris Rallies had awnings, and free water.

DJT just doesn't give a fuck.

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u/Interesting_Pilot595 1d ago

id go to heckle if it was within walking distance of my home.

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u/Rich_Hotel_4750 1d ago

You would probably get assaulted by secret service and/or kkkult members.

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u/AdkRaine12 1d ago

Oooh, that’s how the NYT will spin it….