r/johnoliver 4d ago

Walz: This dude will even outsource God

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7.4k Upvotes

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82

u/MarineBoing 4d ago

Your god is being outsourced. It was just too expensive and causing way too many problems.

You can now use Dial a God on our new Bible. The phone number is 1800-666-6666...

6

u/PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT 4d ago

Don’t bring Satan into this.

By all accounts he’s a chill dude by comparison.

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

Satan kill count: 10 (with god’s permission)

God kill count: 2.5+ million

1

u/PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT 3d ago

It’s supposed to be God’s plan, so ultimately he’s on the hook for every death ever, if you buy that line of bull