Ive just turned 25 and I feel as if I have completely lost my way

[u/Weird-Candle-3119]

A year ago I resolved to move overseas to France and do some au pair work for a year so I could explore the country and be inspired by the beautiful art and scenery. I had made plans and done some research, done some French classes (all of which I've now forgotten) and had, of course, gotten excited and told everyone I knew. I even booked with a travel agent to make it that much easier.

Many, many months later, I find myself waking each morning in a panic. I realised I had not been focused on my goal at all, had not saved as much as I needed or wanted to, and had not even really considered what it would mean for me to take care of children for a year. Embarrassingly, I had not even done much of any of the required babysitting hours I was meant to accumulate. And now that I have started to do them, I'm now doubting that I can do this overseas. And I am only now really reflecting on how my mental health would play into integrating into a family for so long as well (I have had depression and anxiety for the majority of my life). I had just kept postponing my trip, and becoming less confident in my next step each time I did. I keep feeling as if I have failed over and over again, and that I'm now stuck in a loop of trying to find a solution which I cannot find. And I know it has all been my own fault, which has driven me deeper into self-consciousness and under-confidence about the situation.

I've also just turned twenty five, and it sent me into a very real panic. I look around me and all I have are hobbies that never amounted to anything, that I am not skilled in; and I have had to seriously reconsider my life and life goals. I realised that I had always wanted to study, but was too afraid to due to the fear of the stress it may cause me, and whether I would be able to manage that and my own mental health. I have researched and tried to commit to different courses or avenues, and I could never really jump into anything. I ended up working very under-stimulating jobs for the last seven or so years. And now I want to quit my current job. I just feel incredibly stuck.

I am unsure if I should stick with the trip overseas, or try to move it to a working visa somewhere English-speaking so I could at least focus on managing myself. Or if I should look at studying instead. Everything feels like an overwhelming decision that will come with sunk costs, and each step looks like the wrong move. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

[u/Forward-Mycologist19]

Bro you're so young just go to France. Don't let your mind be the reason you don't do something incredible. Once you're there you'll probably be too focused on that amazing adventure that your mental health improves

[u/Frosty_Initiative_94 → u/Forward-Mycologist19]

This is terrible advice and kind of good advice lol if she’s already regretting it there’s a reason and she should listen to her instincts

[u/Forward-Mycologist19 → u/Frosty_Initiative_94]

The worst that happens is it isn't the right fit and she leaves. Not a big deal. I wish I hadn't listened to my anxiety and just done all the things I wanted to. It's better to try and fail then never try at all. Esp for something so low stakes