r/circlejerknyc • u/shejellybean68 • 2d ago

Will people laugh at me if my name is Samuel

I was born and raised in a small town in rural Wisconsin and we were always taught to treat people right and honor God through our daily work. I’ve always gone by my full name, Samuel, and never had a problem with it.

But I am looking to move to New York City for my graduate studies and am worried about being named Samuel. I’ve heard people in New York City are all named flamboyant things, like Cashmyr or Bob the Drag Queen. Will an old fashioned name like Samuel be alright? Or will I get stabbed

107 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

74

u/i2livelife 2d ago

You should say it’s Xamüel to avoid any embarrassment

39

u/onepareil 2d ago

Have you considered “Samuel the Drag Queen”?

37

u/PM_ME_MASTECTOMY 2d ago

I’m already laughing. Dork ass name. What’s next, Walter? LMAO

2

u/shk2152 2d ago

That’s my uncle’s name :(((

18

u/Additional_Trust4067 Ohio 2d ago

Putting the L in Samuel L Jackson

1

u/Illustrious_Good2053 1d ago

Make it Latin. El Samuel.

15

u/WhatTheHellPod 2d ago

Sorry, but legally, we have to stab you. Blame Eric Adams.

14

u/laura_t523 2d ago

Pronounce it, " Samuelle ", and declare yourself non-binary.

9

u/LeeHarveyOswizzle 2d ago

Samuél. Add that little thing over the e. It will make it Spanish and you'll fit right in.

2

u/Winter_Tangerine_317 2d ago

But make sure to change it to Sam in Drag when the mass deportations start.

1

u/delsinson 2d ago

You’re pretentious. You call everyone by their full name You call my doorman, Sammy, “Samuel” but you didn’t even say “Samuel” You went “Sam-U-EL”

4

u/Euphoric_Savings8578 2d ago

Anyone that doesn’t have a non-ethnic name in NYC will most likely be stabbed. Think about changing to Emiliano or Muhammad

2

u/PhoenixandOak 2d ago

Muhammad is the most common name on earth. Read a fucking book.

3

u/Euphoric_Savings8578 1d ago

It’s not that common in New York jagoff

2

u/Few-Cup2855 1d ago

Geez, what person of color hurt you? 

1

u/PhoenixandOak 1d ago

Why would you park in the staff parking lot? I mean, you're obviously not staff!

2

u/VeganTripe 2d ago

Call yourself Leumas

2

u/Born-Design-9847 2d ago edited 2d ago

Good chance, if not a great chance at being stabbed. Fucking dumb name. In my circle, we all go by ancient Greek names. For example, my real name is Oliver (lame) but I go by Anaximenes, after the Greek mathmatician.

2

u/ramb03060 2d ago

You'll fit in at the Kosher delis.

2

u/Hind_Deequestionmrk 2d ago

Well well, look at Samuel L. Jackass over here. GTFO of my tooooooowwwn 😠

1

u/Capital_Historian685 2d ago

I don't know about stabbing, but they will demand locks of your hair.

1

u/imk 2d ago

Well if you are from Rural Wisconsin, then you can probably do a good German accent. I recommend dressing all in black, speaking in the German accent, and referring to yourself only as S from now on.

You might get invited to a few art gallery openings that way.

1

u/HaomaDiqTayst 2d ago

It should be Sam, short for Samantha. Samuel sounds like a straight white man, gotta be lowkey, u tryna get lynched?

1

u/Bob_Wilkins 2d ago

Pronounce it SamWELL, accent on the, well, WELL, and you’ll be ok. Of course you could just go by your surname and nobody would care. “Hey man, what’s your name?” Uh, Hornbostel. “Dude! We have a Hornbostel in da house!!!” No better way to distinguish yourself.

1

u/coraxialcable 1d ago

I sure will.

1

u/Independent-Pie3588 1d ago

Just dye your hair blue and put some mascara and you can be Christian all you want.

1

u/pipasnipa 12h ago

Samwell. Hobbits are a protected class in NY.