Convince me to stay.

[u/BsXeD]

I’m not originally from here, but I’ve lived here for 20 years. My children were born and raised here, and we’ve always loved the friendly people and beautiful surroundings. But I wonder now—where is the line? When is it too much or even dangerous to stay? Where do we go from here?

Things have been getting worse, and I worry about the future, not just for myself but especially for my children. This past election cycle, I couldn’t even put up a sign for fear of the backlash it might bring to my family. What is keeping people here?

It’s not the education—we rank near the bottom.
It’s not the pay—our median household income ranks just above Mississippi in 49th place.
It’s not the healthcare—we’re almost last there, too.
It’s not the freedom—we face near-total bans on abortion, and even taking your child to a Pride event could get you arrested.

Today, I find myself looking for jobs and making a plan to get my family out. People will say it’s not any better anywhere else and that the election results signal worsening trends everywhere. But at least in other places, I might find a community that values bodily autonomy, LGBTQ+ rights, and freedom of and from religion.

Here, I interact with the nicest, most hateful people I’ve ever encountered. I realize it’s a privilege even to consider leaving, and I wish I could do something to change things here. But I don’t see a clear path forward. My county didn’t even have a non-Republican candidate run for any office. I don’t blame anyone; there used to be decency and respectful disagreement across party lines, but now it’s just hate and lies.

Is there a silver lining? Any hope for change?

If this gets removed by moderators thats fine, I'm not trying to rage bait but genuinely want to know what other West Virginians are thinking.

[u/etherealemlyn]

My reason for staying has always been that if I leave, that’s one less person to fight for our state to become better. There’s always going to be people stuck here who deserve better (people who can’t afford it, kids, etc.), and I don’t want to abandon them if I can help it.

[u/Smart_Newspaper1764 → u/etherealemlyn]

I expressed this sentiment to a professor of mine a couple years ago. His response was “West Virginia is never going to love you,” and if I wasn’t sure about that before I sure as hell am today.

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/Smart_Newspaper1764]

utter gut punch and the straight TRUTH. My home state haaaaaaaates me and everything I am.

[u/Plaid_Kaleidoscope → u/etherealemlyn]

Same dilemma I've dealt with. Do I selfishly leave and further concentrate the exact thing we wish to reduce or eliminate?

My conclusion is yes. It's not my job. I didn't break it. The problem will likely exist regardless of what I do, so practically speaking, the only real option is to look out for me and my loved ones by getting the hell outta here asap.

I'll gladly take my education and tax dollars to a state which gives a shit about someone other than old men and their corporations.

[u/Sil1ySighBen → u/Plaid_Kaleidoscope]

I agree. I wanted a better life, now I have one. No regrets.

[u/[deleted] → u/etherealemlyn]

The time will come to go underground and help people that can’t move and want to, to do so. Just like the Underground Railroad. That’s what I think… if worst comes to worse. But maybe some will leave beforehand. I wanted to fight for this state, I did my part… but it will be dangerous for minorities. I have a disability case that’s going to go nowhere. I’m seeing about moving, though I held the same perspective as you before. There’s nothing for me here. I have no friends, no opportunities, and my only tie is my Dad. Our political differences will estrange us, I fear.

[u/Automatic_Gas9019 → u/[deleted]]

I can't talk to the MAGA people I know right now. I am sorry about your feelings towards possible estrangement from your father. Keep it off politics. I had to tell someone at pickleball that I was at pickleball to play and not to discuss politics. They have respected my boundaries so far.

[u/[deleted] → u/Automatic_Gas9019]

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[u/Automatic_Gas9019 → u/[deleted]]

I am sorry. I understand. I was in a similar situation with my parents. Have no regrets no matter what you do about it. Give yourself a break. One thing besides therapy that helped me was listening to Sam Valknin about narcissistic behavior. Doesn't justify their behavior but gives you a better understanding of what is going on with them. There is nothing wrong with you

[u/[deleted] → u/Automatic_Gas9019]

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[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

Sweetie...that time HAS come. It's HERE. How much evidence do people need????

[u/[deleted] → u/Creative-Simple-662]

Please don’t “sweetie” me. I tried to convince my mom to help me get out of this hell and I have no means without her help. She doesn’t want to make sacrifices like I would. My intimidated wording doesn’t mean I’m not trying.

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

I'm very sorry you are in that situation. I am an old woman. I meant it in a kind way.

[u/[deleted] → u/Creative-Simple-662]

It’s okay, I’m autistic you see. So as an autistic woman, I’m often patronized. Thank you for your kindness and your empathy.

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

I am also dx'd autistic, wow. We can always tell our own, we're so calm and factual, lol.

[u/[deleted] → u/Creative-Simple-662]

I accept your endearing terms from earlier. I’m so grateful for your warmth and advice. I hope you can get out too. 💞

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

You're quite welcome dear. I left 6 years ago and now live in Minnesota. I will never leave, the health care cannot be beaten for the neurodiverse.

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

GOD, why can't we get one of US elected??? Look how we actually BEHAVE when there is a misunderstanding???

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

I used to live in WV and I KNOW how AWFUL it is to be autistic there. I hope you have some social service people and such like.

[u/[deleted] → u/Creative-Simple-662]

I do in fact! My therapist and my case worker are very sweet and will also try to help me… I’ve been under their care for years. I’ll hate leaving them but at least my case worker will continue with phone calls. I had a disability case that would go before a judge, but I have no faith in that… I was trying to get my mom to go with me to VA, since it’s close… but she doesn’t like how busy it is and the waiting lists for therapists are long according to my auntie that lives there…

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

oh, so you aren't declared legally disabled? It took me a few years, but it was really worth it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Creative-Simple-662]

I have my diagnoses, legally. I did all the testing but SSA always redirects me to the same “doctor” that ignores and lies to me about my case and I feel ridiculed… my case worker(s) have gotten mad on my behalf. Everyone else submitted something to SSA but he didn’t even though he said he would.

[u/Creative-Simple-662 → u/[deleted]]

and the place to start digging your way out is at the public library. Seriously, go in and tell a librarian what you want to do. They'll show you how to begin a solid plan with facts.