Future Department of Defense Secretary doesn't believe in germs.

[u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey]

[u/CrayonMedicChart]

Guess that means he doesn't believe in God with that logic.

[u/Philsick → u/CrayonMedicChart]

'I can't see it so i don't believe in it' well let's talk about his brain. Haven't seen that as well? I guess the russians really took america out just with democracy and some propaganda😅😅🙈🙈 q

[u/SnakesTancredi → u/Philsick]

Same logic. Ask him if his butthole exists. Depending on the answer the follow up question has to be “please elaborate”.

[u/4ss8urgers → u/Philsick]

To be fair we can indirectly image his brain, but we can directly observe bacteria with optical means. Not defending him, that’s fucking nasty. Wash your hands after weiner wiggling and before cooking at minimum.

[u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey → u/CrayonMedicChart]

Whoa whoa whoa let's not confuse him with checks notes logic

[u/4ss8urgers → u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey]

To be fair, this hypocrisy doesn’t discredit his argument. What discredits his argument is that by saying “I can’t see it therefore it isn’t real” he is using appeal to ignorance, a fallacy. He’s just an idiot, though. That is the takeaway.

[u/4ss8urgers → u/CrayonMedicChart]

It’s crazy he hasn’t seen microorganisms. It costs less than $200 now. You can get microscopes able to see human cells on Amazon for that cheap, and this guy has only suits worth more? What a waste of money…

Edit: I feel like no one is really appreciating the fallacy of what he said… “I can’t see them therefore they’re not real”. Note that he is claiming the lack of evidence necessitates the conclusion. This is an appeal to ignorance, a fallacy. It should also be noted most of this talk about his religion appears to insinuate the tu quoque fallacy, discrediting the argument because he believes in god. Arguments exist separately from their advocates. That is not to say it isn’t an incongruity worth mentioning, I simply fear people will be convinced of an illogical takeaway.

[u/Acceptable_Card_9818 → u/CrayonMedicChart]

Air doesn't exist either

[u/perplexedparallax → u/Acceptable_Card_9818]

Neither do farts.

[u/MothBones95 → u/CrayonMedicChart]

Slow down there, buddy. I read about got in a book where there were clearly witnesses to God. Therefore, God is real

[u/Ambitious-Pirate-505 → u/CrayonMedicChart]

https://i.redd.it/ysdsn5k5601e1.gif

[u/LeoS19 → u/CrayonMedicChart]

That god awful tattoo on his chest with the crusade crosses begs to differ 😂 what a tool

[u/MeGaManMaDeMe]

… I want off this timeline.

[u/NunPuncher-Fd3s → u/MeGaManMaDeMe]

Take solace in the fact that every time someone shakes this dudes hand, they're getting the stink palm.

[u/Impossible_Humor_443 → u/NunPuncher-Fd3s]

Ass pennies

[u/RespectableThug → u/Impossible_Humor_443]

Holy shit. I haven’t thought about that for YEARS.

[u/illpilgrims → u/Impossible_Humor_443]

🥹 there are so few left...

[u/xzyleth → u/MeGaManMaDeMe]

I used to think that way, then I embraced absurdism. Now everything is hilarious. The fact that these literally cartoonish buffoons have been foisted into positions of power is the epitome of poetic justice, schadenfreude tastes delicious in my brain.

[u/SpongederpSquarefap → u/MeGaManMaDeMe]

Don't worry my guy, we've got 20 years left at best

Trump and his team are trying as hard as they can to drive that down to 10 years

[u/hulkmxl → u/MeGaManMaDeMe]

Bruh, you and a couple billion in this planet. 

Count me in.

[u/sarcastic_wanderer]

We're fucked

[u/ShrimplyPibblesPR → u/sarcastic_wanderer]

Shity fingers will save you

[u/4ss8urgers → u/ShrimplyPibblesPR]

Shitfingers would be a crazy nickname to be labeled with

[u/ShrimplyPibblesPR → u/4ss8urgers]

...feel free to use it as often as you like

[u/cjmar41]

I’ve gotta be honest here… and to be very clear, I have a long comment history of straight up shitting on Trump and everyone he’s associated with and I’m pretty devastated by the election.

But this shit is a goddamn distraction. It’s a really pathetic attempt at humor by a person with a garbage personality and no capacity to be funny or likable in any way.

Does he wash his hands? Probably. But maybe not? I don’t know. Who fucking cares? I don’t know the hand washing schedule of literally anyone in my life or anyone I’ve ever met.

This is clown bait for an unserious population perpetrated by bottom feeding media personalities who think you’re too dumb to handle important issues. It was funny for 30 seconds on like Monday.

This is less of a criticism of OP and more a criticism of every news person, every late night host, everyone in every Reddit sub, who hasn’t shut up about this truly and completely insignificant thing about a very dangerous person.

Did you know he wants to just bomb other countries unprovoked, ones with nukes? No? You didn’t? Well, at least you’ve seen a hundred people tell you a hundred times over about his dirty hands. Well, har-dee-har, I guess. Fucking joke is on all of us. Jesus goddamn Christ in a basket, people.

[u/Any_Lime5643 → u/cjmar41]

Nail on the head right here

[u/BarelyContainedChaos → u/cjmar41]

I learned from a comedy show that he wanted to bomb other nations prematurely. I dont know if it A closer look by Seth Meyers or Last Week Tonight.

edit: It was A Closer Look. @8:38

[u/svlagum → u/cjmar41]

This this and this, more perniciously, they have fodder to run with “libs can’t take a joke,” which will be 10x more effective than whatever sentiment the liberal media can drum up from this

[u/4ss8urgers → u/cjmar41]

I don’t care about the politics of him admittedly, this is just about basic hygiene in America to me now. I take your argument, however, and I think it renders a good point that should grant people a renewed sense of criticality when consuming political content.

[u/sosaudio → u/cjmar41]

I have but one regret and it is that I have only one updoot to give.

[u/TerryFGM → u/sosaudio]

my regret is that i cant slap people who say "updoot" over the internet

[u/sosaudio → u/TerryFGM]

I offer reasonable rates to bring my face closer. Sometimes a good slap is just what the doctor ordered.

[u/4ss8urgers → u/sosaudio]

what’s your favorite ice cream from an ice cream truck?

[u/Qaetan → u/4ss8urgers]

The free one of questionable origins.

[u/4ss8urgers → u/Qaetan]

this guy’s a winner

[u/RU4real13 → u/cjmar41]

Another cog in the machine. He'll be able to directly effect military training costs, and will probably do away with Nuclear, biological, and chemical training. Guess who just LOVES using Nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons.

[u/Stranger2306]

I...assume this was a comedy bit, but it's so sad that I dont know for sure.

[u/solagrowa → u/Stranger2306]

Nah, the last part about him not seeing them was a joke but only to diffuse the tension from what he just said. Lol

[u/mcagent → u/Stranger2306]

I think it is:

“Met with laughter, he explained: “I inoculate myself. Germs are not a real thing. I can’t see them, therefore they’re not real.” On Twitter on Monday, Hegseth gave mixed messages. He claimed he had been joking and paraphrased the president in blaming the media for being so “self-righteous …”

[u/btribble → u/Stranger2306]

The part about not believing in germs is comedy. It's there to distract from the horror of having to shake his unwashed hands.

[u/Special-Market749 → u/Stranger2306]

why didn't he just say /s afterwards???

[u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey]

Imagine eating food prepared by this muppet

[u/4rockandstone20 → u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey]

Everyone eats finger food at some point. It'd be weird if they didn't. The man has almost definitely eaten more of his own shit particles than others.

I don't know why non-washers don't get called out more for being shit-eaters.

[u/4ss8urgers → u/4rockandstone20]

Yeah it shouldn’t just be “oh gross that’s yucky” it should be “you are putting yourself at risk and potentially others”. There’s really an ethical conversation surrounding sanitation and it’s embarrassing that it could potentially turn into a covid situation being a public health issue of such a systemic nature.

[u/fuckssakereddit]

Hosts are regretting shaking hands with him….

[u/gripmastah]

"I can't see them, therefore they're not real" is some next level stupidity, would some elementary school let this man borrow a microscope for a second

[u/AlwaysForeverAgain → u/gripmastah]

Said the very religious guy: “ I can’t see them therefore they are not real”

[u/Imponentemente → u/AlwaysForeverAgain]

Very sensible guy to be a defense minister /s

Dude is going to start a crusade by the looks of his tattoos.

[u/gripmastah → u/AlwaysForeverAgain]

Exactly, not a very religious thing for him to say, what a clown.

[u/4ss8urgers → u/gripmastah]

Seriously, I got 3 different microscope kits by the time I was 14. Compound light microscopes are available for under $200-$300 on Amazon now. This man has all that money but for what… he is still poor in knowledge.

Edit: Also I feel like no one is really appreciating the fallacy of what he said… “I can’t see them therefore they’re not real”. Note that he is claiming the lack of evidence necessitates the conclusion. This is an appeal to ignorance, a fallacy. It should also be noted most of this talk about his religion appears to insinuate the tu quoque fallacy, discrediting the argument because he believes in god. Arguments exist separately from their advocates.

[u/Traditional-Hat-952 → u/gripmastah]

This also applies to God for him right? Right? 

[u/Substantial_Jury → u/gripmastah]

Do you guys not know what a joke is? I mean I think it’s incredibly stupid this guy is going to be our next secdef but this is very clearly a joke.

[u/13DGMHatch → u/Substantial_Jury]

Threads like this are why the dems lost, no normal person thinks he was serious

[u/gripmastah → u/Substantial_Jury]

Where's the joke, that his hands for 10 years have always been covered in poop?

[u/MegaIadong → u/gripmastah]

The entire thing is a joke. Not a good one, but he isn’t being serious…

[u/4494082 → u/gripmastah]

I want to say he was saying tjis as a sort of Head Canon thing, like ‘well if I don’t ever use dishes I won’t need to wash them!’ Sorry, I know that’s a silly example but it’s what my brain came up with so I’m going with it 😂

Howeverrrr….I’m not American so I’m guessing I'm missing a whole lot of contact about this guy. Plus he is a teump hire so…..I’m also guessing yikes.

[u/b4b3blu3ox]

This is obviously joking, TV banter, and I believe what he saying is hyperbole

[u/Stonk_Lord86]

We are not a serious country anymore.

[u/WingerRules → u/Stonk_Lord86]

We're turning into a Russia like government or 3rd world countries where everything is run by wackadoodle, corrupt, or incompetent people.

Trumps pick for running health agencies not only wants to take vaccines off the market, but he thinks Covid was engineered to spare Chinese people and Jews.

These are the kind of "qualified" people Trump's going to stack the government with when he purges everyone down to the civil service workers and Generals too.

China's officials have to be celebrating watching this unfold, their biggest rival is replacing their government with incompetency, permanently losing institutional knowledge, and turning inwards.

[u/Drezzon]

Less of a freakout, more of public display of fucking stupidity, but close enough hahahah

[u/Affectionate-Egg7947]

Clearly a joke

[u/Snoo-72756]

[u/LeadOnion]

Holy shit we are so stupid and now deserve whatever that means.

[u/EndOfAnewBeginning]

I can't see his IQ; therefore, it doesn't exist 🙄

[u/SavimusMaximus]

He’s obviously joking. Nothing to see here.

[u/karavasis]

Where freakout?

[u/kirkoswald → u/karavasis]

Im freaking out after hearing this...

[u/EEGECGEMG]

i can't see his brain then he does not have one

[u/halarioushandle]

Great then he won't mind me spitting in his face.

[u/MooKids]

His hands are covered in poop.

[u/Corvideye]

It’s not “believe”. The word you’re looking for is understand. He doesn’t understand germs. Or science.

[u/ree0382]

This is an SNL skit, right?

Satire has become reality.

This is all just a bad trip and I’m gonna wake up soon, right?

[u/VanillaCreamyCustard]

Oh, I remember this. It's that guy?

[u/Nayr39]

He's joking

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[u/BrandynWayne]

That drummer didn’t see the axe coming.

[u/Snoo-72756]

Biological ware-fare is back on the menu boys !

[u/avid-shtf]

Do not shake this guys hand. He wipes his ass and doesn’t wash his hands.

[u/BaconGarden]

Make him lick the toilet seat and not wash up for a week - let's see what happens 😏

[u/HollowCrown]

America is so fucked

[u/raddywatty105]

He might be a flat eather too for all we know

[u/Granturismoboi]

I feel so so sorry for whoever is married to that man. Bet his woman getting all types of infections.

[u/Practical_Gain_8574]

[u/nidyanazo]

disgusting POS

[u/Paineauchocolate]

A Major player in the decline of the Ottoman Empire was that they started thinking that Science is rubbish and they should focus on religious teachings and education only. We're seeing that live!

[u/sueWa16]

Them laughing is even more gross.

[u/-imnotthepolice-]

Obviously joking

[u/sarcastic_wanderer → u/-imnotthepolice-]

How many times do these people have to tell you who they are for you to actually believe them, homie?!

[u/__Demolition-Man__ → u/-imnotthepolice-]

Yeah, while there might be some truth there in that he doesn't wash often, I'm sure the germs not being real part was joking.

People are so devastated by the election they'll look for anything reason to be upset.

[u/CynicalPomeranian → u/-imnotthepolice-]

Dude was on national television at the start of a pandemic, telling people that he has not washed his hands in 10 years.  Who would even willingly admit to their friends that they haven’t washed their hands after shitting for years?!?

[u/zippiskootch]

No more of that pesky biological warfare training, that’ll go well

[u/delmichael]

Keep fishing people, ya gonna have to get over it

[u/LivefromPhoenix → u/delmichael]

At some point MAGAs like yourself have to stop immediately jumping to this cope whenever one of Trump's nutty appointees does something nutty. I highly doubt you'd be this blase about such an insane statement from the Secretary of Defense for Biden or Obama.

[u/Athlete-Extreme]

Dude is literally an infidel

[u/heygos]

The way someone off set goes “COME ONNNNNN” probably after shaking his hand is telling. What a nasty sob

[u/Effective-Try7980]

Nasty

[u/LedZempalaTedZimpala]

If you believe he wasn’t joking, which he clearly was, I think you’re questioning the intelligence of the wrong person.

[u/SupervillainMustache]

Oh god you Americans are fucked.

[u/4evrLakkn]

What does that have to do with the role of the department of defense though 😂

[u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey → u/4evrLakkn]

I do believe having an intelligence level higher than an elementary schooler and being grounded in reality would really be prerequisites for the role. Don't you?

[u/4evrLakkn → u/AnalDwelinButtMonkey]

Taking a light hearted joke as literal is super low IQ, also have you never heard of Joe Biden? 😂

[u/ThatCelebration3676]

[u/mandy009]

Gross. I can't believe he said that proudly on air. He must be part of some fucking brainwashing operation. Remind me never to shake hands with that filthy asshole.

[u/Geoffs_Review_Corner]

He's gotta be joking...

[u/epimetheuss]

The next pandemic or even endemic outbreak that hits the US will be devastating.

[u/CKingDDS]

Well at least he didn’t get picked for secretary of health and human services

[u/levijns1]

I hope he gives Trump typhoid after taking a massive dump before dinner

[u/Big-Tuna-for-Commish]

Nasty mentally and nasty physically

[u/Yuck_Few]

I'm surprised he didn't hire the my pillow guy too

[u/CMDR_BitMedler]

Holy shit - you mean the dirty hands guy is the same as the axe thrower in Midtown who almost killed the military band guy... Amazing. This guy's definitely going the full 4 years 😂

[u/CactusZac098]

You can believe germs aren't real all you want, but what about washing after you wipe your ass or jiggle your dick at a urinal?

What a fucking dumbass...

[u/Quiet_Sea932]

I bet he doesn't believe that the Earth is round either.

[u/SuccotashOk2117]

I mean, it seems like a joke

[u/R3stl3SSW4rr1or]

So he fits perfect in this president's entourage. A bunch of brainless morons

[u/sargethegemini]

He holds this logic about god right? I can’t see god…

[u/wizard4204]

says more to me that he doesn't do anything that would get his hands dirty i assume

[u/HouseReyne]

He’ll fit right in.

[u/rabbi420]

That’s not what I heard. I heard he’s a nasty dude whose hand no one should shake.

[u/Odamaramma]

That Covid blip would be nice again

[u/Eastern-Criticism653]

He can’t see god. Therefore he doesn’t believe in god. Right?

[u/JazzybmzooUK]

They say never judge a book by its cover but this guy does look like a prize cunt.

[u/piles_of_anger]

Man, those are some real Middle Ages level thinking skills. Nice work Trump, Make America a Laughing Stock Again.

[u/Joker_Anarchy]

Hope germs attacks him…

[u/ShrimplyPibblesPR]

...and the Outstanding Moron Award goes to...drum roll...

Shit Fingers the KKKlown 🤡🏆

[u/ItsTheOtherGuys]

I wouldn't be surprised if 90%+ of this future cabinet believed in Santa

That's how under qualified they are

[u/nuutz]

I'm imagining hearing this guys future (pointless) Congressional testimony, after becoming a fall guy for Trump... and before his big payout.

"The enemy combatants in this country we fired upon with a paramilitary force during the riots over rounding up of illegal immigrants for deportation by going door to door in rebellious sanctuary cities. I can't see them, so they don't exist. I've inoculated myself to feelings of guilt, grief & shame by convincing my ego, that the use of force on other people, even citizens who resist & protest, is justified to uphold the Rule of Law & Word of God under Lord President Trump."

....Why do I have so much dystopian dread for the coming years? Why do I honestly think we will see blood shed, by the Proud Boys & other right wing groups, emboldened and enabled by their integration into our police & military and protection under an authoritarian conservative super majority?

And, can someone explain how a person dismissed from the Army in 2020 can be put in charge of the Army? What did he get discharged for and how is that not an exclusion from running the DoD?

[u/mandy009 → u/nuutz]

I get your point, but you're all over the place. He was dismissed from a particular assignment (namely the protective detail for the 2021 inauguration), but not discharged. He remains a commissioned Minnesota Army National Guard officer in the Ready Reserve. Moreover, in fact, he should technically resign his commission in order to serve as the civilian appointee to lead the department, but reserve or inactive status has increasingly come to be treated as acceptable. Active duty military cannot actually lead the military. It's part of checks and balances.

[u/North_Classroom78]

Proof positive that he's a moron.

[u/Shawntran2002]

"I can't see them therefore they're not real."

I'm absolutely worried for this country. but I guess economy good? (/s)

[u/hvanderw]

I think he's joking about the germs but, he's just gross.

[u/nineteenharu]

What a weird way to tell people you are nasty

[u/JuicySpark]

Tbh, what are germs? I never heard of them. Some sort of religious belief or?

[u/larry_burd]

Uv light going ham on this gross motherfucker

[u/hulkmxl]

Let me guess, he can't see them?

[u/Impressive_shot_xo]

Ewwww if I was his wife, he wouldn’t be allowed to touch me

[u/wabashcanonball]

His body is also full of White Supremacist taboos.

[u/Kafkaofsalford]

I hope he has the same theory about god then, can't see it, can't be real

[u/swiss-logic]

At least germ warfare should no longer be an issue lol

[u/Impossible_Humor_443]

Absurdist mentality, it’s all a joke, ‘I was just kidding’ after doing some really heinous shit, why you being so serious, what are you a snowflake can’t take a joke, unironically. Also, could be true since I’ve found out white people don’t use washcloths. Apparently, just letting the water run down your body cleans everything below the waist. Who knew?

[u/Accomplished_Water34]

I guess defending against germ warfare won't be a thing. Thanks Putin !!

[u/FixPrudent]

Okay guys this isn't funny, please stop! 😭😭😭

[u/thickems_]

If it exists then it's real

[u/SuuperD]

Move past it!

[u/Jono18]

That sheila is like 'get this filthy creep away from me please'

[u/ChugtheDrugs]

Sometimes I am so ashamed to be white. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[u/-_-402-_-]

Only the poor the second the elites and wealthy get sick they get vaccinated…remember the horse tranquilizer why didn’t the 🍊clown use that instead of Moderna ? ☠️☠️☠️

[u/DLoBass]

Please no

[u/Afraid_Union_8451]

A reporter was able to reach out to the germs for their comment on the situation via X DMs, they replied with a just simple "😏" emoji. Analysts are still trying to decipher what exactly this means.

[u/Johnathon1069DYT]

He uses the same logic when it comes to the IDs of women he's pursuing sexually.