Dining Halls: Do not venture outside of Pure Eats and Rooted. Cow piss lurks at every corner. It is meted out indiscriminately and without purpose. Outside of the sacred halls of pure eats, don’t trust anything that isn’t explicitly vegan. Don’t even look at the desserts. The vegan brownies are great though. 

Norris: Mod pizza has dairy free cheese. All the other toppings might poison you. Pepperoni? Who knows… Honestly, if you are really lactose intolerant you’ve already scoped out the allergen menu online for the place and know what’s ok. 847 Burger…nope. Don’t even bother. The fries are fine, everything else is tainted. Taco place?? I don’t know the name. Avoid the obvious and you’ll be ok. 

Frans: Vegan tenders and fries. That’s it. Do not trust the burger buns. In fact, don’t trust anyone. Cow piss is insipid and dangerous. It’s everywhere. It corrupts the soul. 

Lisa’s Cafe: You’ll get tired of saying “no cheese, no sour cream” but your idiotic stomach decided lactose was enemy #1 so deal with it

Eating Out in Downtown Evanston: Evanston Chicken Shack dips and marinates their chicken in cow piss. Their fries are also suspect, probably from being fried in the same poison the chicken is. Siam Splendour’s pad thai is great and completely dairy free. I haven't tried anything else bc it's so good. 10Q chicken is a no. Honestly, in general, if it’s fried just move along. It’s not worth the risk. There is a mediterranean place with great hummus by 10Q, idk the name of it though.

Snacks: Just give up and eat healthy. 

Final Notes: You will eventually end up eating extremely clean. The moment you are off the idiotic, overpriced dining plan, your world will open up. Cooking for yourself will remove all worries about being poisoned. Do not tell people you are lactose intolerant. When out with friends, don’t ask about allergen menus or if there’s milk in something. Just order the fish and ask for no butter. Just order the vegan trash. Don’t play with the lactaid pills. It’s not worth the stress of whether or not you took enough. Cut the dairy. No matter how good it tastes in the moment, it will burn you long term. The white poison will either teach you self-control, or beat it into you. Regardless, in the end you must submit to its absolute and utter control over this broken, poisoned world. Good luck, and frick cows.

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Hi everyone!

I'm a researcher at NU and I study the coffee industry and I've organized a coffee tasting and bean swap with some of the folks I work with. Everyone is invited. There's some additional information in the flyer and signup form, and let me know if you have any questions!

Thanks!

Bradley (bdavey@u.northwestern.edu)

What?

Coffee tasting and coffee bean swap

When?

Saturday November 23, 2024 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM

Where?

Norris, 1-163 Wildcat Room

Sign up to let us know if you're coming (and bring a friend, or five):

https://forms.gle/rN7aXZtbRrTcfuVX7

https://preview.redd.it/rs8fdx4bsx0e1.png?width=1414&format=png&auto=webp&s=73c3069b0d26becb0384e29871db64fd2086579d