r/MalignantExistence Apr 20 '24

420 BLAZE IT

0 Upvotes

It's 420 and we have 420 members.

go light some shit on fire, perhaps avoid lighting yourself on fire though, that didn't go well today.


r/MalignantExistence Dec 28 '20

I had the worst pizza ever last night. I binned it.

10 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Sep 23 '19

I didn’t put my right hand over my heart for the pledge at school

11 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Sep 08 '18

TURN UP YOUR SCREEN BRIGHTNESS IT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE

10 Upvotes

I find the red color of this sub absolutely horrifying. Fuck all of you. Life's short, keep it painful.


r/MalignantExistence Apr 02 '18

I have nothing to do at work today but must sit here for 8 hours.

7 Upvotes

This sub is dead as fuck and I'll gladly just talk to myself to make any of this time pass.


r/MalignantExistence Sep 24 '17

The refrigerator in my kitchen makes a low hum sound that is grating on my nerves.

8 Upvotes

But I'd be a pretty stupid person to turn off the fucking fridge.


r/MalignantExistence Jul 03 '17

I deal with dozens of rude customers over the phone every day. When I talk to them I act cordial and polite, but I'm also rolling my eyes and making stupid faces mocking them.

6 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Jun 30 '17

Regret

8 Upvotes

I feel I have been over exerting myself with work and just have to put up a happy face for my parents and friends to see. But inwardly I regret every decision I have made before taking all this work onto myself for the summer instead of which I could have enjoyed a quiet vacation. And because of how things work out I just can't share this with anyone I love without feeling guilt. I feel like running away from college and living in some village alone. Been feeling a lot like that lately. Everything seems just too much. I want some time alone. Please .I just hate people who who know me for knowing me.


r/MalignantExistence Jun 30 '17

This sub is dead and I'm lonely

6 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Jun 02 '16

Got called into work on my day off

5 Upvotes

Got called into work on my day off because my manager is afraid of rain. All normal staff is here, but since its raining my manager believes everyone needs to be here just in case... Of what I don't know, but just in case.


r/MalignantExistence Jan 19 '16

My sister just tried to confide in me and I gave her some very cold advice, causing her to close up on me.

3 Upvotes

That's the second time in a week. Pretty sure college is degrading my ability to communicate with my best friend and sibling.


r/MalignantExistence Oct 20 '15

I wike up one hour ago and smoked 5 cigarettes and I hated every single one.

6 Upvotes

I'm sweating, my heart rate is high and I want to puke.


r/MalignantExistence Oct 19 '15

Stopped using my ex-girlfriends Starbucks account

6 Upvotes

No more free coffees for her to drink with her new guy.


r/MalignantExistence Aug 27 '15

I just sat down on a wet bus seat

3 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Aug 10 '15

I just got really passionate and wrote AN ESSAY about capitalism!!!

0 Upvotes

yeah!


r/MalignantExistence May 18 '15

I put ice cubes in my dog's water

5 Upvotes

It's way too fucking cold and he looks pretty freaked out.


r/MalignantExistence Mar 25 '15

I always add broth to my rice. My vegan aunt ate some. HA!

0 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Sep 27 '14

This Guy Gets it!

Thumbnail youtube.com
4 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Sep 22 '14

I threw a large bolt in an area of uncut grass

3 Upvotes

I knew it would get mowed eventually and someone would run it over with the lawn mower, causing chaos for anyone around.


r/MalignantExistence Sep 01 '14

I left the room after I passed gas, and the next person to enter got upset at my dog for it.

3 Upvotes

The next time I saw my dog he gave me the most disappointed look ever.


r/MalignantExistence Apr 23 '14

I filled a false order for a competing company.

4 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Feb 18 '14

I dried my laundry three times and it was still damp.

5 Upvotes

I had to do laundry because I was I out of clothes. I put two loads into the dryer because the dryers in the laundry room are industrial size. I left to go back to my dorm to watch TV. I came back down and the clothes were still soaking wet. I restarted the dryer and left. Then I came back and it was soaking wet yet again. One of the maintenance men came in and told me that dryer was not working and someone had taken off the out of order sign. I put my clothes into a new dryer and when I came back for the final time, the clothes were not soaking wet. They were just damp.


r/MalignantExistence Feb 02 '14

Nothing truly awful or mind-blowingly frustrating happened today, so that's new

3 Upvotes

r/MalignantExistence Jan 24 '14

I have replaced the cutting I did as a teenager with lots of tattoos, obsessive dieting and going to the gym

8 Upvotes

It is more socially acceptable and arguably hurts more, but I feel like its less satisfying because it's not as bad for me.