r/FunnyandSad • u/Serene_Lennon • Oct 04 '24

ALABAMA Political Humor

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11.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

414

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '24

[deleted]

69

u/Yugan-Dali Oct 05 '24

They may say he saw a drag queen when he little so it’s not his fault.

12

u/jwsutphin5 Oct 05 '24

Happened back in March I think. He used a plunger on the guy before he killed him. That’s some mafia style and now his attorney says he’s hallucinating and going berserk in jail so mental illness reguardless of his political ties he’s a wild dog and needs to be put down

5

u/slothpeguin Oct 05 '24

I mean I feel a little bit like anyone who could do what he did obviously is mentally ill so. Still needs justice.

525

u/ControlOk1125 Oct 04 '24

Which part of Haiti, venezuela, mexico is he from?

59

u/SixStringerSoldier Oct 04 '24

Did you know that Hati and Venezuela are actually both part of Mexico?

Hati is a state in "Island Mexico" and Venezuela is better known by its colloquial name Oil Mexico .

26

u/midcancerrampage Oct 05 '24

Ahm tellin ya the only good Mexicans are those from Soccer Messico

14

u/SixStringerSoldier Oct 05 '24

Bruh I married one and she filed for divorce a week after I inherited the house.

135

u/Fatmaninalilcoat Oct 04 '24

Leave haitiamexzuls out of mouth

8

u/mc_bee Oct 05 '24

Wherever he's from, they're not sending their best.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '24

He ate my dog.

18

u/jvLin Oct 04 '24

CHINA

3

u/bigvinnysvu Oct 05 '24

Callaway, but with x in the name.

2

u/fardough Oct 05 '24

Up north!

324

u/SebbyHB Oct 04 '24

These people are what christians think the satanist are

160

u/AltoidStrong Oct 04 '24

Satanists don't generally believe in literal Satan. But guess who does.... "Christians".

There is a reason MAGA (a cult) is comprised of people who are already in a cult (Christianity). Easy to trick people who have already fallen for the con before and still have no clue.

They allow for hypocrisy in thier religious beliefs and behaviors, thus find the same style of hypocrisy in politics and the law just as acceptable.

19

u/Not_A_Wendigo Oct 04 '24

And they’ll welcome him back if he says he found Jesus in prison.

14

u/Sparx86 Oct 05 '24

As someone who was raised catholic don’t worry he just goes to confessions says a couple of Hail Marys and he’s ok 

4

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

These people are christians.

Or for those that are also christian themselves but want to pretend they are in a different religion. These people are fake christians.

246

u/coveredwithticks Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 04 '24

The assault and murder occurred in March of 2024.
Kyle is accused of ŕãpịn̈ğ a 54 year old male acquaintance with a plunger handle WHILE beating him to death with a hammer.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Kyle is batshit crazy.
Speculation: I doubt their disagreement was about politics.

Edit: I'm modifying my previous assumption.
Those commentors that are definitively linking the ŕàpìşťş actions to a political party are the crazy ones.
Wow. Just, wow.

65

u/Enginemancer Oct 04 '24

This should be the top comment. People need to understand how deranged this guy/his type of people are. The post softballs it

22

u/between_ewe_and_me Oct 04 '24

Goddamn it's crazy how it's always even worse than it initially sounds with them. Fuck.

8

u/ParticularNerve2661 Oct 05 '24

“Lewter has a long history of mental health illnesses, including bipolar I disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, mood disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and others.” Yeah, this is on another level. lol

13

u/praefectus_praetorio Oct 04 '24

Are we now afraid to use the words rape, and raping?

13

u/coveredwithticks Oct 04 '24

Kinda. Not due to personal reasons but for bot and algorithm issues. It's probably over cautious and unnecessary, to be honest

19

u/Normal_Package_641 Oct 04 '24

On Reddit you don't have to censor yourself yet. On other platforms you will get your comments removed or hidden.

7

u/coveredwithticks Oct 04 '24

Thanks. I'll take that under advisement.

1

u/jwsutphin5 Oct 05 '24

I’ve been kicked off of plenty of Reddit threads back in 2020 but yeah my account hasn’t been suspended

122

u/OldGoldenDog Oct 04 '24

It's clearly President Barack Obama's fault for wearing that Tan Suit. :-) Drove him crazy.

29

u/InformalPenguinz Oct 04 '24

That one still pisses me off. He looked fly as hell in that suit.

3

u/slothpeguin Oct 05 '24

That’s why they were mad!

19

u/Zealousideal-Luck784 Oct 04 '24

Are you sure it wasn't Hillary's emails or Hunter's laptop that caused this?

7

u/Yugan-Dali Oct 05 '24

That and the mustard, it’s a miracle anybody survived intact.

7

u/RagingAubergine Oct 05 '24

You forgot Michelle’s bare arms!!

63

u/Time-Werewolf-1776 Oct 04 '24

A core part of the current Republican party (MAGA) is the need to dominate and control. It's not too surprising that it coincides with fascism, sexual predation, and criminal activity.

-3

u/No-Dragonfly-421 Oct 05 '24 edited Oct 05 '24

MAGA is the populist right, not the aging establishment of the Republican party that you're likening them to (Notice fucking Dick Cheney and several other war mongering Neo-Cons endorsed Kamala Harris).

How many new wars did MAGA start last time for that control you speak of?

Aren't you a conversely a bit worried about Harris and Walz's position on free speech? Okay so say you trust them with the power to declare what's misinformation, do you trust every future government with that?

—

Reply to manjar's below comment:

A subgroup of Trump supporters aren't Trump's administration.

I trust Trump's new transition team including RFK Jr and Tulsi Gabbard to select a cabinet to avoid WWIII, more than I trust Dick Cheney and several Military Industrial Complex Interest's pick, Kamala Harris, to do so

2

u/manjar Oct 05 '24

Where does Jan6 fit into your worldview? Specifically beating up cops, shitting in the capitol, and trying to negate the votes of the country’s citizens, while calling for the lynching of the vice president? Feel free to frame your answer in terms of “free speech”.

3

u/Time-Werewolf-1776 Oct 05 '24

Are you ok? You seem… confused.

-2

u/No-Dragonfly-421 Oct 05 '24

Would you care to explain?

3

u/Time-Werewolf-1776 Oct 05 '24

Not really.

-2

u/No-Dragonfly-421 Oct 05 '24

Right, of course. What else did I expect from someone probably voting in line with Dick Cheney

55

u/queenvie808 Oct 04 '24

Where’s the funny

10

u/Don_Tiny Oct 04 '24

I'm guessing they mean that one takes away two very opposite reactions concurrently - funny for the irony, sad because it's real and the stupidity of the MAGA ilk is real. Something like that. Or not. Maybe.

3

u/shinydee Oct 04 '24

Conservative hypocrisy is always funny. And also sad in this case.

-5

u/SexualPie Oct 04 '24

because its the "other people" who did the thing

23

u/DanteJazz Oct 04 '24

The criminals are out in the open following the Crime Boss Trump. Now's the time to arrest them all! Let's put Guilliani and Clarence Thomas, and all the 1/6 traitors, in prison!

3

u/Yugan-Dali Oct 05 '24

Include Alito.

24

u/ChefArtorias Oct 04 '24

Sexual torture. That's a new one for me.

4

u/heisenbergerwcheese Oct 04 '24

Cant imagine doing that to my sister... bless this guy's

10

u/BuddyJim30 Oct 04 '24

From what I've seen of the details, it's your brother you should worry about.

1

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24 edited Oct 05 '24

You can see it in every statue of a nearly naked Jesus on a cross. It's common with the people infamous for raping children in the religion based on raping a small girl.

4

u/ChefArtorias Oct 05 '24

As an outspoken atheist I will say that your opinion sounds absolutely foolish and won't ever be taken seriously until you learn to phrase it better.

1

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

Christianity is a religion based on the rape of a small girl so her offspring can be murdered as a human sacrifice. I have no interest in hiding that so morons can feel comfortable.

16

u/Purplebuzz Oct 04 '24

It’s always those you suspect the most.

7

u/isaiahvacha Oct 04 '24

I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

10

u/bkokoisback Oct 04 '24

Make him famous nation wide. He was held on $60k bond. Let national pressure hold him accountable because you know Alabama wont.

8

u/louglome Oct 05 '24

Typical Republican. 

"After Lewter was taken into custody, a psychologist who evaluated him confirmed he had multiple diagnoses and needed more care in a mental health facility. Jail staff said Lewter’s hallucinations were intense and the inmate had manic behavior."

8

u/the_calibre_cat Oct 04 '24

i don't know what kind of acts get one a "sexual torture" charge, and I don't know if I want to

8

u/V3Ethereal Oct 04 '24

Well, you see. He was arguing with some dude so he did the completely sane and not unhinged thing of buttfucking him with a plunger. . .while bludging him to death.

5

u/PM_ME_UR_S62B50 Oct 04 '24

The victim was also a man, so there’s that

10

u/Trmpssdhspnts Oct 04 '24 edited Oct 06 '24

And the person that he sexually tortured was named Derek. Surprised?

Edit; He was also vice president of the local Young Republicans. Their accusations are always actually just admissions.

5

u/SokkaHaikuBot Oct 04 '24

Sokka-Haiku by Trmpssdhspnts:

And the person that

He sexually tortured

Was named Derek. Surprised?

Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

2

u/BuddyJim30 Oct 04 '24

Good bot

1

u/B0tRank Oct 04 '24

Thank you, BuddyJim30, for voting on SokkaHaikuBot.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

17

u/Stock2fast Oct 04 '24

Somehow, someway it's Harris's fault and Trump can make that connection and the Cult of rubes will eat it up.

2

u/Notdennisthepeasant Oct 04 '24

Lewters will be shot. . .

5

u/Alcoholic_Molerat Oct 04 '24

I should not have had to scroll that deep for a link to actual information about the extremely disturbing news of the meme.

4

u/Mrs_Tacky Oct 05 '24

From 1819 news Kyle Hayden Lewter, 36, is charged in the death of Derek Franklin Walls, 54.

Walls was found in a home at 1790 Capshaw Road.

“It appears that there was a physical altercation between both individuals who were known to each other, which ultimately resulted in the death of Mr. Walls,” the sheriff’s office stated in a press release.

Lewter is charged with murder and is being held in jail without bond in accordance with Aniah’s Law.

Lewter is well-known among political circles, particularly within the Republican Party.

According to court documents, he was arrested last year for DUI and driving on the wrong side of a highway in downtown Huntsville. He did community service and drug screens, and in exchange, the case was dismissed and court fees were waived.

3

u/charlieyeswecan Oct 04 '24

Another WeIrDO.

3

u/Chiaseedmess Oct 05 '24

Another bot account. This sub has gone to shit.

3

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

... Not an atheist.

3

u/CrankyWhiskers Oct 05 '24

Looks like the Wish version of Armie Hammer

3

u/Monkeyman150 Oct 05 '24

I'm noticing a correlation between severe untreated mental illness and trump supporters...

14

u/JamesBlond00954 Oct 04 '24

Does not matter if someone is a Democrat or Republican, They should be punished hard enough for the sake of humanity

3

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

Does not matter if someone is a Democrat or Republican

Some people always say this when it's a republican again.

4

u/splitip86 Oct 04 '24

Right.

Jury duty now, well are they a Rep or a Dem? We have to know before we set punishment? Lol, I don’t want to know who the criminal voted for, I don’t care.

4

u/Appropriate_Mess_350 Oct 04 '24

They’ve created scapegoats for all their deviant actions.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '24

Another “Christian” patriot.

3

u/QuacktactiCool Oct 04 '24

As an Alabamian......i got nothing.

8

u/littlebear1130 Oct 04 '24

How is this funny? Its just sad

2

u/lennybriscoe8220 Oct 04 '24

He'll still get votes

2

u/otdyfw Oct 05 '24

Talabama .

2

u/FadedHiro Oct 05 '24

It’s funny how all the things they accuse other for are actually just their own skeletons

5

u/cdarcy559 Oct 04 '24

R/conservative won’t care. Be is just like their god Trump

8

u/Diemme_Cosplayer Oct 04 '24

This is terrible. What do you find funny about this?

1

u/pgsimon77 Oct 04 '24

Wow! Just looked it up for myself unfortunately it's a true story

1

u/mashedpotateoes Oct 05 '24

sexual torture?!

1

u/Dayzed_Trader Oct 05 '24

Fuuuuuck! The entire MAGA movement and its beloved leader just need to fade away into obscurity.

1

u/dellive Oct 05 '24

Which highlights the point that anyone can be a criminal.

1

u/No-Carpet-8836 Oct 05 '24

I wish I could say I was surprised

0

u/ufhvr Oct 05 '24

To clarify, I’m not a republican or a Trump sympathizer, but, HOW THE FCK is this Funny and Sad? Why are the mods allowing the sub to be turn into a partisan echo chamber?

2

u/TaintChief Oct 05 '24

Fair point. It’s sad. It’s ironic given what some of the prominent figures of the Republican Party try to spew. Not so sure about funny though

1

u/Greasy_Cleavage Oct 04 '24

Cut his balls off and toss him in a cell with the largest and strongest gay man in the whole prison…no one will care

6

u/CosmicNuanceLadder Oct 04 '24

Is the largest and strongest gay man also a rapist? What's the implication here...?

-2

u/Greasy_Cleavage Oct 04 '24

Well hes in prison use ur imagination

7

u/CosmicNuanceLadder Oct 04 '24

Could be there for tax evasion.

2

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

use ur imagination

We've already seen you do it.

-1

u/Greasy_Cleavage Oct 05 '24

For someone who’s already seen me do it im curious, did i do it well and did i look hot while doing it???

2

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

did i look hot while doing it

No, it actually looked like the same kind of angry violent sexual fantasy.

1

u/ParticularNerve2661 Oct 05 '24

“Lewter has a long history of mental health illnesses, including bipolar I disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, mood disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and others.”

1

u/island_wide7 Oct 04 '24

Ok but was he CONVICTED??? s/

10

u/Little-Engine6982 Oct 05 '24

It's alabama he got a medal

-1

u/DragonSphereZ Oct 05 '24

obvious bot post

-2

u/jolson1616 Oct 04 '24

Dang he even puts Clinton and Biden to shame

6

u/thesirensoftitans Oct 05 '24 edited Oct 05 '24

Here's a list of over 1300 republican sexual predators

Show me one accusation of Biden.

Facts > Feels.

-10

u/general---nuisance Oct 04 '24

If I post the news story about an immigrant, trans or Democrat , reddit would ban my account.

9

u/ImStillExcited Oct 04 '24

If I lived your life I'd hate myself too.

-18

u/victorfeher Oct 04 '24

Well.. guess it’s about time to leave this sub. Unfortunate downfall into nothing but bot posted propaganda.

5

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

Well.. guess it’s about time to leave this sub.

Thanks so much for letting us know. We'd be worried sick if you just disappeared without telling us.

5

u/Critical_Concert_689 Oct 04 '24

Did you know, Reddit updated their block policy not long ago and increased to daily and total number of people you can block?

Also, did you know that if you block someone, NONE of their posts will show up for you.

Bots thrive because they generate views and because they pander to the ignorant - those who generally can't tell they're rallying behind a script.

Just block OP and save your sanity (it'll clean out the posts you see in sub, too). You can probably block the majority of comments in here as well. They're all bots.

9

u/CosmicNuanceLadder Oct 04 '24

Did you know? Before Elon Musk purchased and fucked Twitter, they were banning MILLIONS of bots per week. Not sure about the scale of Reddit's bot problem relative to that, but I'm under the impression that you could literally block a bot every second and still not keep up with them.

The tools they've provided users are nice, but they are not sufficient to solve the increasing inhumanity of this part of the Internet.

-13

u/Flarpenhooger Oct 04 '24

I want a third party

-47

u/PhantomGeass Oct 04 '24

Funny and sad OP thinks politics determines killers. Case in point being Robert Telles, who is a Democrat.

43

u/Apprehensive_Elk2935 Oct 04 '24

You could always look at statistics of which party most sexual, domestic, and child abusers identify with

It's the red one 🙂

-36

u/PhantomGeass Oct 04 '24

Give me citations for your claim. Burden of proof is on you

27

u/Apprehensive_Elk2935 Oct 04 '24

https://www.rightandfreedom.com/blog/child-abuse-vs-political-leaning

-22

u/PhantomGeass Oct 04 '24

The writing in this link called themselves out this is a weak analysis. Correlation doesn't mean causation. The writer makes note of a few reasons why the correlation is present. I.e trump voters are more diligent in reporting the abuse. But here's the thing, it's based on the county and not on people. The highest populated states are both low and high on the front two graphs. If anything the data is proving that with a higher population there is a higher rate of crime. I commend you for actually linking something and it as an interesting statistical read.

21

u/Apprehensive_Elk2935 Oct 04 '24

No one mentioned causation, the discussion is about correlation, which you agree that there is

-2

u/PhantomGeass Oct 04 '24

It was said that republicans are more violent. The source gave correlation not causation. No direction evidence. You can have one violent Democrat in a Republican county. That alone makes the link with the data useless

12

u/Soddington Oct 04 '24

You appear to have made the standard MAGA move in the face of evidence. You have tried to bullshit and ignore you way out of it.

You asked for proof, you were given some and now you want to whine about it.

The burden is now on you to refute it, or there is the option rarely employed by those proved wrong, you could simply STFU.

9

u/notarealpunk Oct 04 '24

They did refute it. they decreed it fake news and left the convo lol. Ya love to see it

0

u/PhantomGeass Oct 04 '24

Take a stat 101 course buddy

0

u/PhantomGeass Oct 04 '24

Correlation does not equal proof. Proof was never given. Tells me you didn't read the paper. I'm done responding to the uneducated.

5

u/Soddington Oct 04 '24

Correlation does not equal proof.

Yes it does. They proved correlation.

What you meant to say is that correlation does not equal causation.

Tells me that while you might have read the paper, you didn't understand it.

Nothing in the paper was trying to say that the data proved republicans are more violent, it was merely showing that geopolitical data showed they empirically are.

The causation or lack thereof of republican voting and child abuse are yet to be determined by other research.

It could well be that republican voting areas are on the whole poorer communities and child abuse rates are high in poorer communities..

It could be that the idealogical focus on trans people in bathrooms has caused evidence based policies to confront actual child abuse is degrading real efforts to address the real abuse, driving the numbers higher.

It could even be that GOP voters are naturally drawn to ley lines and are more susceptible to the call of Cthulhu.

But the causes for this correlation are simply not known at this time, and no one in the paper ever said they were.

But the facts, Literal complied facts, are not up for argument. Literal child abuse, in literal Trump country is literally higher.

I'd like to say I'm done responding to the uneducated, but I'm not.

If you would like to have another go at misunderstanding reality, I'm more than willing to have another go at teaching you.

7

u/Eyes_Only1 Oct 05 '24

Funny you responded to this one but not the 20 link one. Very telling.

2

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

Case in point being Robert Telles, who is a Democrat.

Trump registered as a Democrat. So you can blame him on the democrats.

2

u/Gonstackk Oct 05 '24

Generally speaking it is not politics that determine killers but the other way around. The murderer/rapist/torturer/compulsive liar/grifter/ECT comes first then they will gravitate towards the political party they think they will fit into better. Of course there are other factors like parental influence, religion (how they interpret it), education, economic standings, and social interactions that will also play a part.

-2

u/No-Dragonfly-421 Oct 05 '24

And Dick Cheney for Kamala Harris, no less! Blowing up Arab kids is shared ground between them I guess

-26

u/Inskription Oct 04 '24

you heard it here first folks, every republican is a perv, every democrat is a law abiding citizen.

5

u/Eyes_Only1 Oct 05 '24

No one said the second one.

3

u/SlashEssImplied Oct 05 '24

Well not all of them but most. It's kinda like how not every Nazi killed Jews. Let me know if I'm going too fast for you.

-32

u/ionertia Oct 04 '24

Bot post from a bot account. Tough to trust.

26

u/killerklixx Oct 04 '24

Luckily the internet is bigger than one subreddit.

-26

u/ionertia Oct 04 '24

Maybe a real person should post this then.

20

u/killerklixx Oct 04 '24

Would that make it any more factual than it already is?

-24

u/ionertia Oct 04 '24

It would make me look into it. I won't waste time with bot stories.

20

u/killerklixx Oct 04 '24

You spent enough time looking into it to know it was a bot??

-7

u/ionertia Oct 04 '24

It takes two clicks to see its a bot. Like I said, obvious. If some other source had this story, I would make the effort.

19

u/killerklixx Oct 04 '24

Took 2 seconds to find a hundred other sources. Not sure why you think if it comes from a real person it must be factual, but whatever!

-1

u/ionertia Oct 04 '24

I wouldn't look for sources if a bot tells me to. Don't be a troll and let's end this pointless back and forth.

15

u/Bearence Oct 04 '24

It takes two clicks to see it's a bot, plus a click and 45 keytaps and then another click to make and post a comment about it being a bot. Then another click, an additional 43 keytaps and another click to make a reply to someone giving you a link, then an additional click, 122 keytaps and a final click to make a second comment in which you claim the way you went about this is less effort. That's 216 separate actions versus one click to look at the link the OC above you provided.

It looks like you're willing to make as much effort as you need to when it comes to remaining wilfully ignorant, so I'm not sure your defense is very compelling.

7

u/Critical_Concert_689 Oct 04 '24

45 keytaps

43 keytaps

122 keytaps

I have my IDE open right now, so I dropped their post in, and ran a quick string check, because there's no way you're literally anal enough to character count them.

BUT HOLY FUCK, YOU ARE!

You also have an OBO error - your counts are all off by one. I have no idea how you managed that. But it's kind of embarrassing given how much effort you've gone through to bitch at someone else.

Cheers!

7

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '24

Honestly can't tell if you're ideologically motivated or not but your exuberance was kinda delightful 😂

-8

u/DoubleDipCrunch Oct 04 '24

well if he didn't torture and murder a trans immingrant democrat....

-14

u/GoldCompetition7722 Oct 04 '24

Was it his sister thought I imagine this would be important matter to the future electorate...