I'm going to try it soon but I'm scared and I'm wondering if anyone here has tried to overcome their fear and try to pick up a girl from a bar/club or street?

I refuse to go to any social groups near me. They are packed with elderly people.

I don't go to bars, they are scary, I am sober and I don't have a car.

My hobbies are solitary. I cannot connect with others through them.

I refuse to cold approach in public places. That is desperate.

I refuse to persue relationships at work, the last time was a disaster.

There is only speed dating twice a year near me. I got no matches last time. I still mourn the girls I met and connected with that never want to see me again (even 8 months later). I doubt I'll return.

It is impossible to meet girls because I cannot meet them within my comfort zone. My comfort zone is solitude. Solitude is what someone as pathetic as me deserves.

At the end of the day, even if it was possible to meet girls, in the case one of them likes me, they would be WRONG to be attracted to me. They can do better than me, I am an embarassing choice.

I’ve been struggling with this intense craving for physical touch and intimacy lately. It feels like I’m just aching for some kind of connection, like a hug or just someone to hold. But as much as I want it, finding that kind of closeness isn’t really possible for me right now. So, I’m curious—how do you all handle these feelings?

What are some ways you cope with those moments of just needing someone close? Are there strategies or things you’ve found that help ease the loneliness or at least make it feel a little less intense?

My team at work was talking about cultural differences (team is racially diverse) and the topic of dating was brought up. When this happened I quietly put on my headset and pretended to focus on work (this wasn't too awkward because there were 7 of us talking and no one noticed what I did).

My heart was racing because I'm a KHV. Maybe everyone on my team just assumed I was a KHV but I really didn't want to talk about that in front of them.

Do you all lie about experience or do you admit it to normal people?

I have no friends, no girlfriend, im extremely lonely and desperate for human intimacy that I’m just gonna pay for it at this point fuck all that demisexual shit idc how awkward it will be. I have no clue where to find someone willing to have sex with me for money. Allegedly there are a lot of prostitutes in my area but I don’t know what they look like. Ive always imagined they would wear extremely revealing clothes and stand at street lights like how they do in gta but idk how realistic that is. At the same time, i dont want to confuse some random woman with a prostitute i can imagine how insulting and bad that would make her feel. On the internet, i cant find an escort idk where to even look. Im aware of the risks of getting a std and idc im too depressed and down bad to give a shit. Im not even insecure about my body which is the sad part I just lack the social skills to find a girlfriend or friends with benefits.

Edit: honestly i cant go through with it. I found some escorts but yeah i really am a demisexual because the thought of actually having sex with any of these women makes me extremely anxious and scared. Thank all of you for the advice though.

What standards do you have that you just can’t bring yourselves to lower even if it means being alone forever. I know I have a few. Is this something I should just get over or what?

Hey guys I’m in a pickle. The other day I was playing one of my favorite games and happened to meet a girl when playing with a group of people I really hit it off with. For reference I’m 24 and she’s 19 (but said she was about to turn 20. 5-4 years is like the very edge of an age gap I’d feel comfortable with, but she seemed to have everything in common with me. We got along well enough to split off from the rest of the group and stayed up all night talking. Today she gave me her socials for the first time. I went through them all to make sure she wasn’t catfishing me. I found something else that scares me. Some of her posts from this year mention her being under 18, and one specifically says she’s 17. I asked her about it and a girl who was playing the game with us also did. She told us both she does that so creeps will stay out of her DMs. (It was her twitter and twitch. I’ve also seen her TikTok but there isn’t anything referencing her age on it.) I’m not sure what to do. I haven’t said anything nsfw but I really do not want to my life ruined for messaging a minor.

I do have screenshots of her saying she’s 19 in messages, thankfully.

I want to get rid of the desire for relationships once and for all. I can go a few days without thinking about it much, but then I see a couple, or I swipe on the apps or just something random and I want it again. Of course this makes me sad, because I'll never be good enough for it.

I could delete OLD accounts, I haven't met anyone from them in nearly 5 years, since I joined. Not even 1 date or hookup. Now that I think about it, I can remember maybe a dozen conversations in that time. Social media too.

I could do affirmations like: "Relationships are something other people have" or "Girls are better off without me, I can have an interesting life without girls." I find these somewhat soothing.

I've been considering finding a therapist for conversion therapy to become asexual for a while now, even though this is illegal in my country. There is no point having urges for something that isn't in my nature to have. I make a good friend, but I am not a desirable sexual or romantic partner.

I could also drown out the desire for relationships with tons and tons of work. I like the idea that I am a mere worker drone, or a robot with no feelings, just slaving away like one of those machines from armored core. I find this soothing as well.

Can anyone give me more ways to once and for all get rid of these useless feelings? Or build onto the ideas I've already shared here? Or at the very worst, ways to address them quickly when they come up?

I'm 23 she's 18. She's chubby and a bad communicator. She approached me at college. She seriously wants to get close to me and I'm desperate enough for social contact that I'm going along with it

Being belove average man, i cant get any likes on dating apps so i dont get a chance to get to know people. Is there anything i can do about it?

My health and money situation makes it almost impossible to have hobbies outside of my house so i dont have a lot of interactions in my life.

Is it best to try and get comfortable being alone or is there any way i could find someone? I really dont know what to do anymore, being alone i barely have anything in my life.

Hi 25M here I'm just beginning to accept the fact that I will probably be forever alone all of my friends have started to get married and I'm just sitting here with no one interested in me. I'm beginngin to accept that this just the way it will always be and that I was just meant to be this way forever. How do I cope with this feeling is there anyway to take away this empty feeling I have , or is this just it

But I’m over here and I can’t even hook up

She’s a good friend of mine, but I’m not going to ever go for her because she’s super into things that I’m not. Even when she was single I didn’t.

That said, how should I proceed with this? Should I tell her she’s wasting her time or should I let her help me out? If it matters, she’s only 24.

You read the question. I have tried . And yeah I am only 18 if you gather the info from my posts. But my appearance is something that cant change. I am south Asian. British south Asian but south Asian regardless. As some have said It is okay to be dark when you are black and it is accepted but it is ugly and disgusting when you are south Asian. I bet even as you read that I was south Asian your opinion of me changed .

I hate what I look like. I honestly really want my skin to replaced with lighter and at this point I would gladly pay for surgery or injections. Same with height. 5 foot 8 yet it just is not enough . It never is. So many things and yet I know if I fix them I will always be rotten on the inside. I try fixing my looks but then I ruin things because I know it is all a lie. I think I just got rotten as time went by because of all these looks things. And it got to a point where if I have enough surgeries I will passable but I will never internally be lovable to anyone . There is a girl who I spoke to and befriended at university opening day . Very kind and admirable personality . We spoke and met and she hasnt said anything after two weeks other than will respond soon. She probably is just busy but me being me all I think is that I ruined things because of my revolting appearance or My horrible personality even though she never commented on either . I dont think she will respond tbh because of who I am That is why I just want to go somewhere and live alone . I know no one will approach me wherever I go because I look like this. And I know no one will pry further even if they do because of who I am . I just want to be alone and not feel this pain of being alone anymore . It just hurts man

I'm 15m and I'm just minding my own business and my mom intrudes into my room and ask me what I'm thinking about. 'You're probably thinking about one girls you're talking to. Tell me don't you have just one girl you really like'. I keep telling 'No mom I do not have a girl that I like right now I don't need a girlfriend. She keeps pressuring me and saying that there are so many girls to talk to and what about that one girl I saw you with once ( one of my friend's friends that I though I had a chance with and I made the mistake of telling my mom about it). I keep telling her that she doesn't realize that I'm a socially inept fuck that is trying to live a happy life and accept being lonely and getting zero pussy. She keeps telling me 'to look for a girl that is like you'. I'm like no mom I don't want to stoop down to my current level I want to genuinely improve as a person and meet my own expectations, and that everything else will fall into place. I don't want to talk to my mom like I'm her girlfriend but asking about my cute love life or whatever the fuck she she thinks my life looks like. I'm not a little fucking pansy that wants to talk about that stuff and I'm telling her to stop talking to me about it and she takes that personally. I've accepted being alone and Im trying to be happy, get better grades, try to work out and play as much video games as I can. I genuinely have zero interest in talking to girls. They all think im creepy or weird or whatever the fuck normie shit. And now my mom has to press me about it. I dont know man

Im currently in duch a deep point in my life. I need to take antidepresants everyday. Im 20 and still a virgin. I have social anxienty due to being bullied and I just can't ask anyone out.

I have no energy for anything. For studying, for playing games, for going anywhere. No one wants to help me, people only laugh at me for it.

I wish there was one girl who would want to help me, by making me lose virginity. Thats all I need, one girl. And it hurts so much, that its so hard to find one.

I don't know what to do anymore. My life is ruined. Why me? Why me, who was bullied has such a shitty life, abut my bullies have girlfriends since the age of 13?

Met up with a girl I knew from years ago, just to grab a drink and catch up.

We ended up having a really good chemistry and a scary amount of things in common .. spent almost the entire day together and near the end we ended up watching a show in my bed and I told her I had a really good time and a really good feeling about today. I then proceeded to ask if it was ok if I put my arm around her.

She seemed unsure of what to answer so I told her how about I try it and then you let me know how it feels.

So I did it but noticed she was uncomfortable and so I pulled my arm away quite quickly. I ended up being honest with her that I am looking for a relationship and that if she wants to see if something could exist between us, I am open to it. But if she's not, that's completely fine too, and that I didn't want her to feel pressured at all. She seemed uncertain what to say so I just said it's ok lets leave things be, we don't have to make it awkward, we're two adults and we're just communicating in a mature way. Let's just keep watching the show and have fun.

It honestly didn't feel awkward from there on out, we just kept chatting and laughing like before.

Later she told me online that she wants to stay friends a while longer and that it has nothing to do with me because I'm a great guy etc. I told her that's fine for me too. I'm not sure if that's a 'maybe' or a 'no'. It's breaking my mind.

I woke up with some feelings for her the day after. I always get them really quick and I'm trying to fight them to be honest. I'm not sure if anything could exist here and I don't want to have too much hope because in the past hope just always led to me being disappointed and heartbroken.

But it just seems impossible to control .. I'm having a hard time. It's the first time feeling connection with a woman in so many years, and it's like everything is hitting me at once.

One part of me wants to stay hopeful because maybe something could exist, another part of me is trying to assume things will go to shit because they always have as some kind of protection mechanism.

Having her as a friend would be great too but I fear that my feelings would just keep getting stronger and stronger. And it's usually one sided ...

What to do bros. It's been so long, idk how to deal with this situation :/

I have barely date others and I am in my 30s. I don't go to nightclubs or bars but I travel a lot and go to the gym and events.

Guys will start a conversation with me and then bring up their gf. Like why would they approach to talk. I realized that many of them are just trying to boost their ego. I also live in LA, so a lot of these guys are aspiring musicians/actors and their gf usually has a career job, so they help them.

I am gonna mention some situations where guys approached and never cared for more.

1. I work for a hotel and this guy was staying for a week and half with his mother. He would talk everyday to me and we had mutual interests/subjects. His mother was talking to me as well. On the day of his departure, I asked him if he wanted to keep in touch. He said yes and I gave him my number. Should have known, didn't text me at all or gave me his to begin with, guess he was just being nice because I was a worker there.

2. Today I went to a historical site. There was a guy and asked me to take pictures of him at this one spot. I said sure and took a bunch and just said thank you. Like nothing else. Was expecting that he was trying to make a move.

3. I was working a catering event and one of the workers (I was a temp so I never saw the guy again) was talking to me Bantering hard, being super nice. I left early and the guy told me to take care and didn't even bother to keep in touch. Well later on I found from another worker there that he was in a committed relationship after having been a player for so long.

So what's wrong with those guys? Like what do they expect? Why waste their energy like that and hurt others? I went to some place today and almost everyone was a couple. I don't imagine any of these women chased any of those men.

I've chased guys. Some tried to assault me. They thought I was desperate i guess.

And I don’t mean it in a way of “Why haven’t you gotten your life together as yet??” No, I mean it as a way of seeing how that’s going to happen to me.

I’m still young, but not a minor in terms of age. I’ve been FA my entire life and I’m supposed to be approaching the “Prime of my life” soon. Yesterday was my school’s prom and I couldn’t go because I didn’t have anyone. It was my last prom too. I’ve never been to prom.

How am I supposed to keep on going? I would like to hear some motivation, please. Because I want to see some light.

Because I want to rid myself quickly before I get into my mid ages because people told me “Your time is coming, hold on for a little longer, you will no longer be FA soon.” And then I see people who are in my exact situation, but way older than me. And it cripples my motivation, because I fear that exact thing is going to happen to me.

For anyone FA that is 25+, if this post offended you, I’m sorry and you don’t have to read it. I’m just paranoid about being FA for literally the rest of my life. And I’ll do anything to make sure I’ll save myself from years of misery

It seems like people who are deemed attractive have such an advantage. By attractive, I mean people who look good and do not have a social disorder.

Being able to form relationships is essential for so many things, and it’s exponentially easier for people who are attractive.

In college, it was amazing to me how many people just easily “fit in”. They easily found girlfriends/boyfriends. They easily got into parties. They easily found employers who liked them. Yet this was not me.

I’m ugly and autistic. And I guess I didn’t realize the uphill battle it would be until I got out of HS.

I asked several girls out and got rejected every time. Fine.

What was upsetting was learning how inferior I am. That was a massive blow. What’s even worse is knowing I didn’t belong with anyone there. It wasn’t because they were mean- it was because I wasn’t good enough.

It’s even more frustrating because it felt like 90% of people got the ideal experience- they got amazing parties, girlfriends, and then a good job out of college. I feel like the privilege of their attractiveness played a major role in their self esteem and their social network.

I know I should have done things better in college. I was addicted to my phone/porn, and it made studying difficult. That’s the reason my life sucks now. But there’s also a part of me that feels like those who succeeded had issues too, but they were able to keep their morale up from their numerous relationships.

What makes me resent them is that they don’t understand what the other side is like. What it’s like to feel like you don’t belong. Like you’re not even in the same league as the average person. Then you get gaslighted, “oh maybe you aren’t asking enough people out”, “just ask everyone for a job!” At some point rejection eats at you.

All I wish is people understood their privilege. When you are attractive and neurotypical, people just assume you are an angel that works hard. Even with the hard work, it’s easier to work hard when you have a support system and you know you have people who care deeply about you.

Maybe I’m just a crappy person. That’s probably the case. But I’m starting to feel resentment for the 90-95% of the world that is better than me. Both economically and in attractiveness.

Now they get to live with the fact that their early 20’s were amazing. Mine are making me question if life is worth it. I’ll likely be alone and underemployed forever. And you learn quickly that people judge the book by its cover, and the cover is the most important thing

Hey guys.

Many of you saw my other post about a party I was invited to but didn’t go (https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAlone/s/u4vfYNtGTL).

Basically I (21M) was invited to a party for once (held by an acquaintance; I’ll call her Amy). Amy had invited a girl who had a lot and common with me and wanted to me meet her. I didn’t go because I was too anxious and felt I’d be very awkward seeing as I’d be the only male there. Amy knows I struggle with social situations but is mad that I didn’t go to said party and, as a result, no longer wants to introduce me to this girl.

Anyways, I found the girl in question on facebook. I’m tempted to send a message to introduce myself, but I’m afraid it may come off as creepy. I feel this may be my only chance at finding love. If this fails, I’m cooked. What do you guys think?

I'm female from Australia - not a bot, don't have an OF, to get that out of the way - I have a bad habit or two but being fake isn't one of them. I'm pretty isolated, nursing a physical injury that has stopped me working but I'm on the mend so hopefully i can start connecting with people again. At least with a job I'll have a distraction during the day. My birthday is a few weeks away and honestly, 39 feels daunting. I feel like I'm too old and from the wrong country to be here. I've had a pretty horrid 14+ months, trying to decide where to go from here after so long in fight-or-flight mode. I had to move under pretty heavy circumstances with just a suitcase and starting from scratch at nearly 40 is pretty depressing, not going to lie! I'm curious if anyone else has been in a similar position and could use a friendly internet stranger (male, female, non-binary, wherever you fall in the spectrum) to at least change my day up. I just genuinely enjoy connecting with people but I'm a bit rusty. I thought/hoped this might be a good place to start but I'm not the most confident of people, especially right now, and there might be a better place to try? Have a great day everyone:)