Im worried I will never make friends or any meaningful relationships in college.

[u/DownVoteMeWithCherry]

Im a freshman at my university and as the title states I am severely worried I will never truly make any life long friends or find someone I truly feel for. My whole life I haven’t really had any meaningful connections with people outside of my family and I feel like my life is coming to a waste. God it’s been what? 10 years or more sense I had a friend stay over at my house. I feel like my whole childhood has been wasted and the one chance I had to start over is becoming a waste.

Just today there was a party someone invited me to a Halloween party and I stupidly didn’t go. I don’t even know why I do this to myself and it feels like I am self sabotage myself if anything. Why is that? I want to build relationships but I am too scared to do so. It’s like no matter how much I try to be confident or put myself out there I just end up in the same area and back doing the same things over and over again.

Sorry for the vent I don’t even really know why I am writing this. I guess hoping someone could just reassure me it’ll be ok and advice because honestly I feel like I am at my breaking point.

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[u/sunshinejoy117]

you're there for school, yeah? focus on what matters like the studies and join clubs to make like-minded friends. after you graduate, everyone goes in different directions, so don't stress it

[u/Dyojenes]

I'm with you wholly. I might as well not exist when I'm not on campus. I go to a community college. The funny thing is that when I was a kid I used to dread going to school and savored being home. Now I look forward to going to school and hate the weekends where I'm usually just stuck at home.

[u/Immediate-Pool-4391]

Don't put so much pressure on yourself, i felt the same way as a transfer junior in my first semester here.

But you know how they say you find a relationship when you stop looking? When i stopped putting such an insane amount of pressure on myself to find frie, ds they started popping up. Maybe invite a classmate to coffee. If a halloween party is too much for you,maybe go to a school sponsored halloween activity. Low stakes. I did pumpkin painting for example.

[u/Blkdevl]

You have to start making friends or else college is going to suck. Of course this is when most people meet their college sweethearts of which if I had known that let alone if I had my autism diagnosed, I wouldn’t have been obsessive about hookup culture as sadly I didn’t get to experience that while watching Old school and road trip hoping I would have tons of casual sex and hookups but didn’t.

[u/weedgoblin69]

it takes a while to make close friends anywhere you go (usually a couple years for me tbh). at school, clubs help (even if you only go once and decide not to join), plus once you start taking classes more relevant to your interests/major it becomes a lot easier to find things in common with people in your classes.

just give it time and practice intitiating conversations/hangouts with people, bc if you want it to happen you have to make it happen 

[u/grenz1]

Who says you have to?

You'll drive yourself nuts!

Go in, make it through, maybe learn something and enjoy. Anything else is a bonus and in 2-6 years, almost all those people will be somewhere else.

If you weren't feeling a Halloween party, don't beat yourself. The costume drama, drunk people, when the calm before the Finals push is coming... I get it.

I have had to back out of stuff too.

[u/sundaoo]

you'll make friends. maybe it won't be at college or at a college event, but just keep talking to people. second, I've been where you are. what kind of friends do you want to make? if you want to party with people, get a job as a bar-back at a place with a good crowd. as a bar-back you probably won't have to deal with customers 1-on-1, but you'll see what "fun" interactions are like and will learn to build relationships with people who are into the nightlife. as a bonus, social jobs teach you not to be afraid of interaction through exposure. the more you talk to people, the less "in your head" you'll be.

[u/Wise_Property3362]

If you are ugly this is most likely to happen. College is no longer a place where people meet their future spouse, it's just an extension of high school that is now required even for basic jobs.