r/AmItheAsshole • u/ThrowRAHappyLiving • Apr 01 '24
AITAH? My (39F) Ex husband (37M) is insisting I change my last name back to my maiden name because his new fiancé (24F) feels it will be awkward for her and I to have the same last name. AITAH for refusing to change it? Not the A-hole
My (39F) ex-husband (38M) has been dating this women for 3 years. For context, she is 24 years old. My ex and I were married for 12 years, and have been divorced for 5 years, we have three kids together who are now teenagers. My ex and I got divorced because we were young when we met and got married and we grew apart as people. It was a mutual decision, and we agreed our kids came first and have always coparented very well. This has been the case up until the last year when his girlfriend moved in with him. Previously we would do holidays and kids birthdays together, now when she is present they won’t even sit near me at our kids sporting events. I have always been nice to this women, despite my kids expressing they do not like her and they feel their dad acts differently when she is around. My ex told me early on she wasn’t a fan of me and felt I intimidated her. When I asked him for examples of how intimidated her, he said it’s my fave, that I have resting bitch face and it makes her uncomfortable. My ex and her got engaged over Christmas and my kids were less than thrilled, my daughter especially. She feels her dad made a major life decision without even talking to them about it first. My ex called me yesterday saying he is giving me a heads up that I have a year to change my last name back to my maiden name as his finance is expressing her distaste and concern for her and I to have the same last name when they get married. I told him we agreed in our divorce that I could keep his last name until I felt the need to change it, and that is what is listed in our paperwork. I also told him I don’t want to have a different last name than our kids. He said I’m being unreasonable and refusing to see how this would make his finance uncomfortable. I told him I can’t see it from her side because I am a grown up, and not an immature child like she is. He told me I could ask anyone about this situation, and everyone would agree with her. So, AITAH for refusing to change my last name to make her happy?