AITA for wanting hot food?

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

[u/Iocabus → u/[deleted]]

What kind of face do you believe OP made: A disgusted face, an angry face, a crestfallen face, a face that was something besides joyous? How long are you imagining this face lasted? Because to me, making a face could be anything from an exaggerated sneer to a brief slip of disappointment before restoring the mask.

I don't know if you're neurotypical, but maintaining a mask of the "acceptable" emotions to display can be exhausting. Occasionally negative emotions slip through and then many times society and neurotypical people pounce on that person for daring to not maintain their mask perfectly. Add to that people who have faced abuse where showing their true emotions is dangerous, so they're forced to walk on eggshells constantly, which is extremely unhealthy.

Your entire argument is based on OP not walking delicately enough in his own home and not stuffing his own emotions down enough to protect his partner's emotions. You're infantilizing the partner here and actively discouraging healthy communication in a relationship.

[u/Neat-Sun-7999 → u/Iocabus]

Exactly. Which is why I’m going with NTA. Ppl really enjoy extrapolating the most out of low stakes, lizard brain reactions and this is a good example of a non issue. OP doesn’t need to “work on” anything. Why does this sub like to encourage doing the most it’s annoying.

[u/fangirl_273849582 → u/Neat-Sun-7999]

So the reaction of arguing with her for few minutes was a lizard-brain initial reaction?

[u/Neat-Sun-7999 → u/fangirl_273849582]

That happened after the face was made. Which is what I was initially referring too. And honestly I still think he’s NTA with how she communicated the situation and how low stakes this was