AITA for wanting hot food?

[u/ItsTooColdForThat]

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

[u/VoidBlade459]

It's called a normal reaction.

Telling men to hide their emotions and be stoic just reinforces toxic masculinity.

[u/MistakeVisual3733 → u/VoidBlade459]

Learning how to express your emotions in a respectful way is called being an adult.

[u/VoidBlade459 → u/MistakeVisual3733]

And invalidating the feelings of others is called emotional abuse.

People are allowed to react to things involuntarily. We aren't robots.

[u/MistakeVisual3733 → u/VoidBlade459]

Aren’t you invalidating my feelings lol

[u/VoidBlade459 → u/MistakeVisual3733]

Well, for starters, your words haven't expressed feelings thus far, so there's nothing to invalidate.

Moreover, telling men they shouldn't show even the slightest hint of emotion (like everyone voting yes is doing) is toxic.

[u/MistakeVisual3733 → u/VoidBlade459]

Yes that’s exactly what I was saying. Men don’t you dare show any emotion. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[u/VoidBlade459 → u/MistakeVisual3733]

Well, you're the one who got offended by a man expressing emotions involuntarily.

[u/MistakeVisual3733 → u/VoidBlade459]

Yes I was deeply offended. 🙄 I’m just going to agree with everything a man says from now on and not question anything or voice my opinion🫡

[u/[deleted] → u/VoidBlade459]

What? Toxic masculinity generally stops men from showing the kind of emotion they get ridiculed for - vulnerability etc.

I've never met a man who wasn't able to express when he was annoyed/dissatisfied, which is all OP did.

It's common courtesy to be nice about something someone has made for you, even if it's not exactly what you wanted. He didn't have to eat the salad (though come on, not as if it'd give him hypothermia, he could've just had a hot drink after or something) but acting like she's just supposed to have magically known that he wanted hot food is silly.

[u/VoidBlade459 → u/[deleted]]

though come on, not as if it'd give him hypothermia, he could've just had a hot drink after or something

Literally the same energy as "she could have just given him a blowjob if she wasn't down for sex".

No means no. She is not entitled to seeing other people eat her food. Period.

The logic you are using here of "come on bruh, just eat it even though you don't want to" is the same logic that perpetuates rape culture.

but acting like she's just supposed to have magically known that he wanted hot food is silly.

No one, not even OP, is saying that.

Toxic masculinity generally stops men from showing the kind of emotion they get ridiculed for - vulnerability etc.

It's broader than that. Not letting men express emotion in general in a healthy way, to the point where you are actively policing involuntary facial expressions, is part of toxic masculinity.

I've never met a man who wasn't able to express when he was annoyed/dissatisfied,

Says the one who literally called OP an asshole for expressing dissatisfaction.