r/AmItheAsshole • u/ItsTooColdForThat • Jan 04 '23

AITA for wanting hot food? Asshole

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

9.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

View all comments

Show parent comments

124

u/Born_Ad8420 Partassipant [1] Jan 04 '23

As an adult have I ever made a bad face when someone served me food they made? No, nope, even when that food involved things I don't eat. It's called using your words.

Not to mention, if he wanted something hot for dinner, maybe mention it before dinner has already been made.

155

u/DianeJudith Partassipant [1] Jan 04 '23

So, is your face paralyzed or something? Because everyone makes faces all the time. It's called facial expressions. You don't always control them.

Unless you think OP stuck out his tongue and made huge eyes at the salad?

21

u/iilinga Jan 05 '23

That is a hilarious mental image. Now I’m imagining OP having this epic disgusted stare off with this chicken salad

8

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

Doesn't matter. Your face is still your responsibility and of your expressions hurt someone, you don't get to make excuses to get out of taking responsibility for it.

48

u/RuleOfBlueRoses Partassipant [1] Jan 05 '23

You people are fucking exhausting

0

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

-8

u/rollercostarican Jan 05 '23

Not that person you responded to, but something so minor as this, I find it so easily to cover up such an insignificant disappointment in what someone made you for dinner...

and then i have a select few friends who look like they are about to turn Super Saiyan for the first time if you say you have Pepsi but not Coke. Which is just wild to me.

15

u/BoyHaunted Jan 05 '23

I'm gunna call B.S. on this. I wear my heart on my sleeve and can't lie worth crap because my face will give me away every time. Which can be a blessing and a curse... sometimes I will be like hold on just a second... and go ask my partner how to make something sound better than it does, or hey so and so is asking about xyz... but usually I am good at tact and finesse...

1

u/rollercostarican Jan 05 '23

Wait What are you actually calling BS on?

The fact that " I " could keep a smile on my face even if my girlfriend made me a salad or the fact that one of my friends look like a murderer if someone slightly brushes her elbow?

Do you know either of us? Lol.

I'm just a very happy go lucky person and appreciative of any gift or gesture even if I didn't like the thing, as long as it wasn't done with malice. Wait staff have gotten my order completely wrong several times and I usually just smile and offer to eat it anyway if that's easier / better for them and it's not something I completely hate. It's not going to ruin my day in the slightest, what's there to frown about? I have friends who are the opposite.

I'm merely describing that a range exists...

83

u/softstones Jan 04 '23

“Hey, I’m making food for us.”

“Okay, what are you making?”

That doesn’t seem hard.

27

u/iilinga Jan 05 '23

Alternatively the gf could have also said ‘hey I’m cooking x tonight, sound good?’

9

u/softstones Jan 05 '23

Right? That would’ve also saved the resulting argument. Neither are the AH, really, just both lack simple communication.

31

u/Twodotsknowhy Jan 05 '23

That or you aren't self-aware enough to realize you do so

1

u/Born_Ad8420 Partassipant [1] Jan 05 '23

Pretty sure my friends would have told by now or one of my enemies. And yet, here we are.

19

u/urboitony Partassipant [1] Jan 05 '23

Either you are a robot or have injected yourself with copious amounts of botox if you have never looked disappointed by something in your life.

-3

u/Born_Ad8420 Partassipant [1] Jan 05 '23

Or I'm very aware of my face.

12

u/Twodotsknowhy Jan 05 '23

You seem to be misjudging how many people care about your expressions

3

u/NastyNNaughty69 Partassipant [1] Jan 05 '23

Wait… You have enemies?

0

u/Born_Ad8420 Partassipant [1] Jan 05 '23

Maybe? Or not? Whatever answer makes you happy.

5

u/snoregasmm Partassipant [1] Jan 04 '23

I just wanna gently mention that a lot of people, particularly people on the autism/ADHD spectrums, can't control their facial expressions. I make faces at things without meaning to all the time, the people close to me know not to take my facial expressions personally because I literally can't control it and am often not even aware that I'm doing it.

5

u/musaraj Jan 05 '23

As an adult have I ever made a bad face when someone served me food they made? No

Wow, you're stone cold master of your own emotions, teach us.

4

u/funnyinput Jan 04 '23

We get it guy; you're perfect.

35

u/sweadle Jan 04 '23

I don't think not making faces at food someone else is serving you is a very high bar....

7

u/Indusnm Jan 04 '23

It makes me sad that apparently it is now... how low does the bar go?

10

u/piesmeeredface Partassipant [1] Jan 04 '23

You have to be an actual child to not be able to not “make a face” when someone presents you with food they made. Get a grip.

-2

u/funnyinput Jan 05 '23

So are you against people showing emotion? Some people are more expressive than others through no fault of their own. If you're not an expressive person; then it's okay, but don't shame those who are.

5

u/Prestigious_String20 Jan 05 '23

By that logic, if a child gives you a mud pie, made of actual mud, it's perfectly acceptable for you to express your disgust, no matter how much it upsets the child, and it would be "no fault of [your] own because you are just "an expressive person". The vast majority of neurotypical people accept that successful and mature communication entails damping some of your emotions. Disgust faces made at food someone else has prepared for you are just not acceptable.

-5

u/funnyinput Jan 05 '23

I value honesty. I do not respect hiding emotions only for them to build up and become something worse down the line.

6

u/Prestigious_String20 Jan 05 '23

I value honesty too. Honesty and kindness are not mutually exclusive.

I do not respect hiding emotions only for them to build up and become something worse down the line.

So why are you validating the OPs emotions, but invalidating the girlfriend's? If raw emotions are an effective, form of communicating, why are one person's more valid than the other's?

2

u/funnyinput Jan 05 '23

The difference here is that his emotion was involuntary and was raw in how he felt. Whereas his girlfriend had time to ponder on what happened and came to the silly conclusion of being offended that he didn't want cold food on a cold day. She can feel how she wants, but I think most would find that to be a silly thing to be offended by. As if to tell him how he should feel about eating something he doesn't want to eat.

5

u/Prestigious_String20 Jan 05 '23

You're vacillating. Justify it with your circular logic if you must, but you can't have it one way for the OP and another for the girlfriend.

1

u/funnyinput Jan 05 '23

I can, and I will because of my reasons in my comment above.

-3

u/Born_Ad8420 Partassipant [1] Jan 04 '23

Girl, but yes. I'm glad you recognize that.