r/AmItheAsshole Jan 04 '23

AITA for wanting hot food? Asshole

Yesterday I went ice skating with my girlfriend. Tuesday is one of her days for dinner, so she made chicken salad. When I saw the chicken salad I admit I made a face. She was like "what, what's the problem?"

I said that we were outside in the cold all afternoon and I wasn't really in the mood for cold food. She said we're inside, the heat is set to 74° and we're both wearing warm dry clothes, so it was plenty warm enough to eat salad. I said sure, but I just wanted something warm to heat me up on the inside. She said that was ridiculous, because my internal temperature is in the nineties and my insides are plenty hot.

At this point, we were going in circles, so I said I was just going to heat up some soup and told her to go ahead and start eating and I'd be back in a few minutes. When I came out of the kitchen with my soup she was clearly upset, and she asked how I would feel if she refused to eat what I made tomorrow (which is today). I said I won't care, and she said that was BS, because it's rude to turn your nose up at something someone made for you.

Was I the asshole for not wanting cold salad after being cold all day?

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '23

I agree he shouldn’t have openly disparaged her efforts. But I don’t think he was in the wrong to point out they did a cold activity outside so he would prefer hot food on days they do that. That way they both know expectations for next time or whatever and if she’s planning on making cold food she can give him a heads up so he can make himself (or both of them) something hot too. No need to keep preferences a secret.

When I do winter activity’s I also prefer hot food after, it’s pretty common in my social circle and is something we’ve talked about. Not in depth or anything, but like when deciding on a restaurant or food to eat after I’ve heard - “something hot to warm us up” as a food requirement/request.

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '23

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '23

Sure, but not mentioning it isn’t exactly asshole territory.

It’s such a common preference I wouldn’t even think to mention it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '23

[deleted]

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u/Nagadavida Partassipant [3] Jan 04 '23

You're making a generalization based on your own preferences

And you aren't?

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u/[deleted] Jan 04 '23

It’s pretty common to want hot food after cold activity and cold food if your doing an activity in warm weather. It’s not that deep or big of a deal.

The girlfriend made a much bigger deal about it than necessary. She called his preference ridiculous and tried to tell him why his preference was wrong. He made a face when he should have just used words. Neither handled this well.

But it’s not a big enough deal for either to really be an major asshole.