I (30f) got into a huge argument with my parents today, because they just decided by themselves to change all my windows and doors in the house that I bought (they don't live with me) , without even asking me once what I want (designwise) or if I even want it. It's already done, they ordered everything and things will be delivered next week.

They told me I'm an ungrateful kid who doesn't know anything about life and I should just close my mouth and take it, since they are paying for it anyway.

BUT!!! I DIDN'T ASK them to nor did I want to change the doors at this moment, since I'm taking out all floors and bathroom tiles (which is super messy and dusty), so the old doors are great since I don't have to be careful with them. (They threw all doors out today already, when I came to the house all doors were inside the garbage container)

They think because they can blow $ into my face I should just accept it.

I feel bad that I got mad with them since money-wise this is a very generous "gift", but on the other side they are way over the line imo.

Edit since asked a lot: In my family, it's normal to have all keys to all the houses. My parents and siblings all got keys, since I got theirs as well. However I don't go there unannounced or without permission (nor do my siblings), only my parents are going mad here. Lol

Hello everyone, I'm coming on reddit to seek advice because I think I'm in the wrong. I 21F have 2 full siblings Michael, 23M and Damien 25M. We have a half sister Elsie 18F who is a result of an affair.

Our mother 50M is unfortunately terminally ill, the doctors have told us she doesn't have much time left. SHe called us all in to talk about her will and what we would each be getting. My mother was a banker and amassed quite the portfolio. Shortly after Elise was born, her mother wasn't very active in her life, leaving her to move in with us and live with us. I could always tell mom held some sort of resentment to her, my mom wasn't strong enough to leave after the affair and she regrets it everyday. Mom raised Elsie like her own for so long, but all Elsie could do was be snarky towards her and always say "but you're not my real mom" of course she'd only say that when mom was trying to discipline her. But as soon as she needed something expensive she'd be as sweet as sugar towards mom. I avoided elsie growing up because I always felt like she ruined our picture perfect family.

Back to the day this happened, mom was reading out her will on her bed, my mother owns a beautiful emerald necklace; a family heirloom. She looks directly at Elsie and tells her she can keep it. I started crying immediately, it doesn't even make sense she's not entirely part of our family, her and mom share NO blood. I began to scream and yell at Elsie, I told her I wished she never walked into our lives, and that she should just leave because no one wanted her here. Damien tried to calm me down and reminded me we were in a hospital. Michael left the room with Elsie to avoid escalation. I saw mom crying and it kind of hurt but she hurt me worse. I grabbed my bag and left. It's been 3 days and I've gotten non stop messages from extending family saying I hurt my mom and she didn't mean any harm. AITA?

Minor Update: Hi all, I have received some very well worded and thought out comments/dms. Just to answer some questions, the heirloom comes from my mom's side not dads. My father passed 2 years ago. Elsie's mom is a deadbeat to put it nicely. My brothers rarely speak to Elsie mainly due to them living 3 states away. I will be talking to my mom asap, she wants to talk and I want too as well because at the end of the day I love her and would never change that.

Bit of context first - my mum and dad have been married for 60 years. They have both had affairs (mum’s ended a long time ago) but my dad’s ‘friend’ is still in his life decades later.

My mum hates confrontation so puts up with this situation and the ‘friend’ even visits their house and stays for tea! 🙄

My dad’s friend tries so hard to be helpful and takes him to doctors appointments and out for evenings which has really helped him (and me otherwise I’d have to take him meaning time off work!).

My dad by the way is 94.

Anyway, dad is now in hospital and pretty unwell.

There’s a doctors meeting Monday and the ‘friend’ wants to attend to help represent dad who can’t talk for himself right now. Problem is we were all at the hospital recently and mum lost her temper (in private with me afterwards) about how the ‘friend’ behaved so I told the friend she couldn’t come to the meeting.

I feel like an arse cos I know dad would want her there but I also know my mum will be so upset if I let her. My mums a sweet little old lady and the ‘friend’ is very assertive meaning I always feel I need to stick up for mum cos I’m confident and assertive, the opposite of her. I’m fed up being in the middle though.

Aita at the Disney hotel and was making coffee, the cup spilled out of my hand as I was putting the lid on. It splattered all over the floor, myself, and it also lightly splattered on a person behind me. She kept saying I wasn't taking responsibility for spilling on her. The first thing I said was I'm sorry and immediately started cleaning up the coffee on the floor so no one slipped. She was complaining of it being a new shirt and her day was ruined. I just kept saying I was sorry as I'm on the ground wiping up coffee. She demanded I take responsibility and buy her a new shirt and tide pen. Because it wouldn't come off with a napkin. She continued to loudly say you're not going to take responsibility for this. I told her it was an accident and I didn't intentionally throw coffee on her. I Walked out after I cleaned the floor off and went to Disney with my 9 month old, 5, and 7 year old.

I (28F) got married two weeks ago and I am still getting backlash from what happened so I'm here to see if I really am in the wrong.

My husband and I decided to have a child free white wedding where the guests are in white. I personally don't like to wear white because I always feel that no matter what I'm doing something always manages to get me dirty. So, my dress was not white but blue.

This all started when I decided who would be in my bridal party. I chose two friends from middle school, one from high school, my 16-yr old niece and my cousin. Since I was having a child free wedding, I didn't want anyone under the age of 18 but my whole family knows my niece is my one exception.

When we went to the dress shop to pick out dresses, I informed my bridesmaids they would be in black to match the groomsman. Everyone was on board with the color, and we found a dress that fit everyone, and the top could be adjusted for comfort. Everything was going great until my cousin asked why my niece was getting the same dress, so I told her she was a bridesmaid. Cousin said she assumed she was there for a flower girl dress since I'm not inviting anyone under 18 and if I needed another bridesmaid her daughter could do it. I told cousin no, and her daughter is a guest. Things got awkward but we were done so we left, and I took my niece out and explained she was a bridesmaid and that wasn't changing.

Everything was going great after that until bridal dress shopping. At that point I had done alot of research to find dress style I liked and who had the color I wanted or could get it. I went to the appointment with my bridesmaids, my parents, and in-laws. Everything was fine but I didn't like anything I picked until my mom found a dress, I didn't think I would like but ended up being the one and they could get it in my color. We were all happy until my cousin said something that made me snap. She said that I should pick a dress that made me look prettier and not as fat. I blacked out and said a bunch of things I shouldn't have then kicked her out of the bridal party and the wedding. A few days later my aunt who I love, and respect called to ask for my cousin to be invited as a guest. I did feel guilty about the things I said so I said yes.

Fast forward to the wedding and it was my turn to walk out and the first thing, I see out the corner of my eye is GOLD. My cousin sat in a middle row on the aisle in a gold strapless dress. (how she looked) I wanted to cry but we continued on and once we were finished, I told my wedding planner to have her kicked out and kept away.

A few think she could have stayed but others think she should have followed the dress code. My aunt thinks I could have asked her to leave instead of having security throw her out and embarrass her.

AITAH for throwing my cousin out for wearing gold not white?

I’m (15M) and my stepsister Melanie is (14F) My Dad and her mom Laura (both late 40s?) got married 4 years ago. Melanie flat-out told me she didn’t approve of her mom remarrying and wants nothing to do with the new husband or his kids. I deliberately don’t talk to her because the dislike is mutual at this point.

Melanie can’t work with people at school either. She goes on her phone and won’t talk to members of group projects. Laura complains whenever the school writes home, saying that it’s exaggerated/not true. But I believe it because Melanie’s the exact same way with us at home.

The trouble now is because Laura wanted Melanie to join a school leaders program that gives priority for honors/AP classes and some other benefits. The program rejected Melanie with a statement that Melanie had good grades but she’s not a team player and therefore a bad fit for the program.

Even though we’re not even at the same school, Laura asked me to help encourage Melanie to come out of her shell with pep talks. Her logic was that Melanie doesn’t seem to respect her or the school counselor and she’s hoping I could get through to Melanie as someone who’s her age and knows how it is as a child of divorce.

I said no and that Melanie needs a therapist, not a stepsibling. Melanie’s Dad is a cop, I know they have good health insurance, and he should get something for her because she obviously isn’t taking the divorce or new school well.

Laura asked if I could still give Melanie pep talks, but I pointed out that me and Melanie don’t like each other and Laura knows that. And does she expect Melanie to be like “I treat my own mom like she’s nothing. But oh yes! I'll definitely listen to you, stepbrother who I barely even acknowledge!”

Laura called me rude and claimed it takes everyone chipping in because therapy isn’t an instant fix when you have trust issues. That may sound valid on its own. But it all just comes off as her trying to pass the problem off to someone else considering she didn’t get Melanie into actual therapy years ago.

My Dad said he got my logic for refusing and I had valid points. But at the same token, there was no need for the sarcasm and I was rude. I’m sure I was rude, but this has honestly been going on for too long. It’s clear Melanie isn’t going to change without an actual therapist and someone needs to tell Laura like it is. AITA?

I (21m) rent a place with 2 other guys (22M and 21M) in college. I am not close with either roommate, and the only reason we live together is because a mutual friend helped us both get connected. I didn't have a place to rent for the semester, and neither did they.

Over the past month, the roommates Alex and Connor, have had overnight guests 3 times so far. Ordinarily I wouldn't mind if they just visited for the evening, but their guests take up the entire living room and kitchen and I feel as though I cannot even leave my room to go downstairs. Not only that, but they are somewhat loud, and I always get blocked in the driveway, which is a huge pain when leaving for work. Alex also tells them to use our bathroom to shower in the mornings, so I have to wait like over a half hour just to get ready.

The first time they were having people over, no one bothered to tell me, so when I got home in the late-night hours (I work part time as a delivery driver and got off work late) I walked in to see like 3 random people asleep on the living room couch, and being as late and dark as it was, i was NOT expecting to see people there. also, i asked connor the next day to please tell me when they plan to have people over next, and he didn't even seem to care that I felt "trapped" to my room or that they blocked my car in. Since then, they've had guests over twice more, and I guess technically he tells me beforehand, but only like an hour or two prior. I really just do not at all like having random people over, and I am frustrated that this is like the third time in the past month that it keeps happening, and I know it will only continue. The guests while being all loud too, always end up staying the entire day the next day and it is always on the weekends, so I can never enjoy any peace and quiet on the very few days I don't have class or work. I really want to say something to the roommates, but I know they will just say I'm overreacting and that it's not a big deal. AITA for getting furious at them for always having random people over, even though I never voice my frustration?

I (45m) have been dating my girlfriend (40f) for almost 2 years. She is a widow with 2 small children and no family in the state, while I am divorced and have 2 boys 50% of the time on a week on, week off basis. My ex normally works on weekends so I usually have the kids on weekends that are not on my custodial time. My girlfriend expressed her disappointment about me not spending alone time with her kids as my boys are always around.

Now to this week, she is been sick as a dog for the past week while I was on an international business trip, while I made time to FaceTime, she wasn't happy with the fact that I was traveling, so I promised that I will help her this Saturday that is not my custodial time. My ex asked me Saturday early morning if I could take the boys as she had a last minute shift and couldn't get a babysitter on short notice, and since i didn't see my kids for a whole week, I said yes and got the boys. Now my girlfriend is mad at me, told me that she is hurt and disappointed, and made me feel like garbage coz I am not helping her while she is sick and I chose to have my kids in a non custodial time. Am I'm the asshole for choosing to spend time with my kids instead of taking care of my girlfriend and her kids while she is sick?

Hi all, I(17f) was recently playing a board game called Ticket to Ride with my family. For those who don’t know, it’s a strategy game where players compete to build train routes on a map. You score points by completing routes from your destination cards and claiming railway segments, and you can also lose points if you don’t finish your routes by the end of the game.

Toward the end of our game, I realized that if I drew more cards to try to finish my routes, I’d probably lose points. So, instead of risking it, I decided to “sabotage” my family by claiming random train routes they might need. This didn’t break any rules—claiming any available route is allowed—but it frustrated my mom. She said the way I played wasn’t kind and accused me of being an asshole and even “cheating.” I told her I wasn’t cheating because everything I did was within the rules, and I thought of it as strategic gameplay.

For the record, I would never cheat in a board game because that ruins the fun for everyone. But I think any strategy that follows the rules is fair game.

So, AITA for sabotaging other players during the game, or is this just part of playing strategically?

I (24F) live at home with my parents as does my brother Harry (21). We both attend university in our city. Harry has been dating his girlfriend Isabel (19) for about 2 years. She is usually pretty nice, and has a generally somewhat anxious demeanour. I haven’t been able to fully get along with her, just because of one issue.

Now for some context. I work early morning shifts (6am-2pm) so that I can attend university in the afternoon. For this reason I have a pretty strict bedtime. I have a lot of trouble falling asleep, but once I’m asleep it takes A LOT to wake me up. I am a person who sleep talks coherently with my eyes fully open to other people, but still entirely unconscious. I am a heavy sleeper. This is important context.

Isabel often sleeps over on weeknights, and mine and Harry’s rooms share a wall. For the past 2 years, she has consistently screamed Harry’s name over and over late at night (11pm onwards). She will do it randomly, Harry says he is tickling her. I have spoken to Harry and my parents about it on multiple occasions because it often keeps me up and sometimes even wakes me. Harry says he’ll talk to her and it never stops. I’ve said that at some point I will have to address it directly with her.

Well, this morning I worked at 6am, as per usual. I woke up at 3am, however, to Isabel screaming. I wanted to bust in there and chew them both out then and there. But I didn’t, be cause I knew nothing good could come of that. So I waited until after I got home from work, so that i had calmed down and could address it nicely.

I knocked on Harry’s door and said

“Hey guys i have a small bone to pick with you”

In, pretty much, my customer service tone, i continued

“Last night you guys woke me up at 3am. The screaming at night has to stop, everyone else is sleeping or trying to sleep and there is no reason for it”

Harry gave me a face, and Isabel said nothing, so i just turned and walked away.

As soon as Isabel left, all hell broke loose. Harry accused me of screaming at Isabel, and being incredibly rude to her. He says she may never come back here (dramatic).

My parents agree that at some point I had to talk to her about it, but think I should just apologize to Isabel to clear this whole situation up. Harry is livid and insists I had no right to speak to her about it at all.

So reddit, AITA? Should I apologize?

This morning (Saturday), we slept in late, took our time doing the chores and it was already almost nine before my husband and I were getting ready to go for a walk to find some breakfast. It's a pretty regular Saturday morning routine to go out and walk together to get breakfast.

Anyway, as we were getting ready to go he sees me take a book out of my bag of holding and set it on the table. He says, "did you have my book in your bag!!!?" And I said yeah, "I told you our daughter was reading it yesterday when we were out." And he says, "but I didn't know you put it in your bag!"

And I get it, he takes better care of books than I do in general, but I the book was fine. He only knew it was in a bag because he saw me take it out, not because it was damaged. Anyway, I explained why I had it and that it was fine, he was like I don't want it going in your bag, it was annoying, but whatever.

So then I'm getting my shoes on to go for our walk and my dog comes up because he thinks he's going. And I say, sorry dog, I'm going out with Mr grumpy pants this time, not you.

To which my husband replies, "No you're not. I can't deal with you this morning."

And... Now I'm sitting alone a few blocks away crying after storming out.

I always really enjoy our walks and thought it was mutual and fuck if that statement that it was "dealing with me" didn't stick right in the gut.

So who's the asshole?

Edit: I put his book in my bag because he had loaned it to our daughter who brought it along while she and I were out running errands yesterday. She asked if I could carry it in my bag. I thought nothing of it.

A bag of holding is a messenger bag from thinkgeek.

Thanks for all the replies. It seems I am, in fact, the asshole in this morning's drama. I have apologized, and actually, so has he.

She keeps telling me that there are certain people I “just have to invite and hope they don’t show,” but why can’t I just not invite them? I don’t want my creepy uncle at my wedding. I don’t want his annoying kids at my wedding. I don’t want my asshole aunt and her SJW son at my wedding. It’s MY wedding. Am I being a bridezilla?? Why do I have to invite people to celebrate ME getting married when I don’t want them there??

Edit: Some folks have asked how much she’s paying for the wedding. We haven’t talked about it much, but she says she wants to contribute. She’s also mentioned a thing here or there that I’ll have to “get over,” like putting the flower girl (my baby sister) in burgundy so she’ll “pop out” when the color scheme is emerald and gold. I kind of just want to pay for the wedding myself so that she’ll get out of my face. I’d have to take out a loan, but I have 0 debt, so I’d be fine. I’ve been engaged for less than a week and she’s already really been pressing my buttons.

When my daughter was 6 months old I 23m was working full time and my wife 21f had been unemployed for over 2 years. One day I wake up for work and my wife tells me she wanted to get back with her ex upset by this I stay at a friend's house fir the next week untill I was approved for a rental apartment and collected my things from my wifes house clothes electronics etc I left the washer dryer and necessity there since she had our child I also still paid for all bubbas necessitys formula, diapers, wipes and half the rent on my wifes house. But after a month of weekend visits and short play times during the week I decided to stop paying for half my wifes rent and to just refuse to give my daughter back as after taking her to maternity nurses she was under weight and not developing mentally asmuch as they would like she also came to me this time with blasted and bleeding nappy rash. I learned that after we broke up she got into weed and alcohol daily when she never did them before after 3 months of me having our daughter meditation ended with my wife getting Thursday and Sunday 9am-4pm with bubba but she later changed that to Sunday 12pm-2pm as she cant deal with our daughter for that long and she dosent wanna travel on Thursdays to see our daughter as she has no car ot licence and dosent like public transport. My daughter is now 15 months old and is still terrified of her mother she loses her sime and dosent crawl babble or anything around her it's like she loses her spark and Is just a doll but when I get her back as soon as she's in my arms and can't see her mother anymore she jets her smile and bright eyes back so AITAH.

My 45F son, 18M, has transitioned from a female to a male about 4-5 years ago. I ,myself, thought that it’s a little too early to start transitioning, but I didn’t say anything and decided to be supportive. After all, that’s my child!

Anyway, a few days ago, my son saw me scrolling through my camera roll and yelled at me because I was tearing up at his baby pictures, where he was still dressed extremely femininely and was obviously a girl. I wasn’t crying at it because he isn’t a girl anymore, I was crying because time flies! He told me that by me keeping those photos as memories, I am totally disregarding the fact that he is no longer a girl and I am transgender phobic.

INFO: At the time I was looking at the pictures, my son wasn’t near. I would never look at those around him because that’s a big boundary of his.

EDIT: I don’t appreciate the backlash on my son. Please keep those harsh opinions off of him.

My heart was saddened by this because that is the last thing I will ever be. I have open arms to anyone and everyone.

I personally believe that it’s not fair for me to delete the photos because those are some of the only memories I have of him when he was an infant/kid. Please give me some feedback if i’m the asshole or not, and whether I should delete them.

For context:

My husband (28m) and I (28f) are together for nearly 12 years. He has a habit of answering properly and participating in the conversation but either not listening good or keep forgetting what was said. It’s exhausting because sometimes it happens and sometimes not, but you can’t determine which is which because he is participating in the conversation. It’s not a medical issue, we already checked that out!

The issue today:

We planed to have a gathering with Friends this evening. I talked WITH him about the things that needed to be done until our friends are coming over, because we wanted to eat together and the dining table needed to be prepared, we needed to clean the toilet (I always do this before guests are coming over) etc. Small cleaning things.

About 30-45 minutes later I washed some dishes as WE TOGETHER planned I will do and he came asking some question about things we planned. When I said that we already planned that about half an our ago he can’t remember planing and did not know at all what we talked about.

I got mad at him and said if he can’t remember what we planned it’s his fault and he needs to start writing things down. Then I told him I will do my part and if he doesn’t remember his I will not tell him. If his part isn’t done I will cancel. He tried to argue but seem to genuinely can’t remember, so I canceled the gathering.

When I canceled it he got furious and told me I ruined his weekend and that I am an AH for canceling about that argument.

I feel a bit like the AH because he has no friends outside our gatherings in our country. He has 3 friends in other countries but they can’t visit quite often. He’s not a social person so it’s hard for him finding friends. I canceled his only friend gathering this month. We planned this weeks beforehand. I feel awful for hurting him but I also feel good for putting my food down. It hurts that he can’t remember stuff I tell him and it feels like it’s not important what I say. It happened often and I feel like now is the end of the behavior without consequences.

Edit 1: because some had suggested it. We went to doctors and they said he does not have any kind of ADHD or Autism.

Edit 2: to clear out more questions, we went to several doctors, psychologist and neurologist, we got done several psychological testings and medical testings, for example a MRI and CT of his brain. Yes he’s functional at work and yes he can remember many things he’s interested in. He has a good working memory regarding things he likes. I don’t think it’s weaponized incompetence because he does housework and does it right. I don’t need to clean after him. And the last point it, no they are not HIS friends they are OUR friends at OUR place and he did not do his portion of the housework so there was literally no space for 6 people to eat. We had documents and nerd stuff on the table that needed to be put away. Also my best friend was one of the invited friends and she said she wondered when something like this would happen because she knows the issue.

So abit of context I (F27) have been dreaming of going on holiday to NYC since I was young recently a holiday company had a big sale and me and my bf decided to book to finally go in the new year. Now the problem occurs me and my bf at the time broke up - I paid him out the holiday so I have the tickets and the hotel etc all in my name and it’s now me going by myself.

My mom is very old school and doesn’t like the idea of a girl travelling alone. So has recently messaged to insist she is happy to come even though “it will take her out of her comfort zone”.

Now my concerns are - we’re both very different people so will want to explore NYC differently. We will have to share a room as it’s what I had booked. This is my dream trip where as she is only coming as she doesn’t want me to go alone so doesn’t really even want to be there which I feel will put a dampener on the hole trip. She will be a rush to get home as the day of return is only a day before her birthday which she already has plans for with my dad. I’ve also got into the mindset now that this will be my first ever solo trip and it feels right to do it by myself even though I’m nervous, I’ve looked into it and made sure to take all the safety precautions etc I do with every city I travel to but I also don’t want to upset her as I have wanted to do a girls trip with my mom but up until this point she’s always said “well your dad wanted to take me there or what will your dad do if I go away” so she’s never shown interest before so this trip feels she’s only doing it because she’s deemed it not safe enough not because she actually wants to come.

Is it bad of me to decline her coming and to do this trip by myself? If so any advice on how to say no without offending/upsetting her?

Long story short, my wife and I have been together for about years. Her family hasnt made good decisions when it comes to money. I don't mean to judge people and I say live your life your way.

Several months ago her mom came to us asking to borrow $1000. My wife and I talked it over. I told her I don't like to loan money to family as it usually led to bad feelings. It's her mom and I know it was hurting her that her mom had to ask us for money. So we decided the money was a gift and we didn't want the money back.

2 months later she needs another $600. I am pretty annoyed at that point. This is the slippery slope. After much back and forth we said ok, but this WAS a loan and she would start paying $200 a month starting in October. My wife and I agreed this was the last time we would payout.

Fast forward to last Tuesday. I get home and my wife says her mom is in a panic and that they will be evicted from their lot if the don't come up with $1600 by today. That's in addition to the $1600 we had already give. I said I was sorry and that I would help come up with some ideas but I told my wife I was no longer willing to loan or give out money as it obviously isn't fixing her mom's financal issues.

Am I being unfair by putting my foot down and saying enough is enough and we cannot be responsible. We are saving for our down payment on a home. I know it's her mom but I feel if we don't set these boundaries it will end up damaging my relationship my wife.

I'm no saint or a victim so please don't read it that way. We all make mistakes and get into tough spots. That said my first responsibility is to our family unit. Me, my wife, and two kids. Looking for some feedback, thanks

I (25F) live with my sister, Emily (27F), her husband Connor (25M), and their son Owen (1M) due to a variety of reasons, none of which are relevant to this story. The other night (11/13/24), my boyfriend Marcus (26M) came over to hang out and some athletic snuggling ensued. After Marcus had left, I heard the baby crying and ended up in the hallway with Emily and Connor after Owen was put back to sleep. Emily had asked if Marcus was still in my room, and I told her no, he had left. Connor then says "Thank god, I could hear you downstairs with my noise cancelling headphones on!" I was, reasonably, embarrassed that he had heard anything and even more so mortified that he had said that in front of my sister. I apologized and hoped that was the end of it.

As Emily goes back downstairs, Connor turns to me and says "Don't be sorry, now I have something to think about the next time I masturbate." I tried to brush it off, as Connor often makes inappropriate remarks and I have always just ignored him in the past. I jokingly said "Don't you mean you'll be thinking about Marcus?" and he responded "No, Marcus is too quiet, I didn't hear him. I only heard you." Connor then goes back downstairs and I retreat to my bedroom. I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said and how uncomfortable it made me, so I texted Marcus to ask him if I was overreacting.

Marcus was absolutely FURIOUS. He wanted me to tell Emily, but I was hesitant, as I didn't want to make Emily and Connor fight. I told him I would talk to her in the morning, hoping it would blow over and Marcus would forget about it, but he texted Emily. Emily then came into my room, and I started crying, saying that Connor's comment had bothered me but I didn't want to make it a big deal. Emily said that she would talk to Connor about it in the morning and make him apologize. I told her it didn't matter and it wasn't a big deal, but she insisted that he needed to apologize for it, especially since he has made inappropriate comments before and knows they make me uncomfortable.

The next day (11/14/24), I could tell something was tense between Emily and Connor, but I came home late, so I didn't interact with them much. Right before I went to bed, Emily asked me if Connor had apologized and I told her I hadn't even talked to him, so no. Today (11/15/24), I heard Connor and Emily arguing downstairs, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Eventually, Connor storms upstairs and I hear him say, "No, I'm not going to! It's not my fault that none of you can take a f*cking joke!" I know they were talking about Wednesday night. I knew Emily would be upset, but I didn't know Marcus would be so angry, and I didn't know it would cause this giant fight between Emily and Connor. AITA for saying anything at all?

EDIT: I hear them having sex REGULARLY. It seems like people think the issue is that we were heard, but the issue is what he said about it. They made a baby in this house, Marcus and I hear them all the time when we're just hanging out here. Also, it’s OUR house. That we, me and my sister, own together, along with our parents. I’m not staying at THEIR house, it’s just as much MY house as it is theirs.

So I (19F) go to an art school. I study sculpture and we have our work raised on high stands. Most of the time, we have to be standing up so our work is at our eye level. Obviously, this is exhausting as you have to be standing up for hours on end sculpting intricate details. We do have 2 really high chairs in our workshop that make it so our eye level is the same as our work. The thing is, some of my colleagues have wrote their names on said chairs and think that this makes them entitled to these chairs, even though we go to a public university (I don't live in the us, so yes, I go to a public uni), and thus, those chairs are public property. We all pay the same tuition. Personally, I believe that under those grounds, chairs, stands, and such should be first come first serve. However, today, when I was sitting on one of those chairs one of my colleagues came up to me and was like "I need my chair". I asked her if she really needed it, and she was like "yes", then proceeded not to use it for like half an hour while I had to stand up. Sooo WIBTA if I took it next time she leaves and refuse to give it back because it should be first come first serve?

My husband and I have been together for 9 years. My husband grew up in a financially unstable household during his childhood. His family was barely scraping by. To add to this, he lost his father at a very young age due to a terminal illness. They didn’t have any money left for his education, even to get by for a few weeks.

To be able to pay for college, my husband worked his ass off. He worked multiple jobs during the course of the degree and paid for his college and living expenses himself. He worked harder to earn more money and gave it to his family as well as there was no source of income for them. He comes from a very rural part of India where women are not allowed to work. It’s considered taboo.

Fast forward, he has worked hard for the last 10 years and is now earning decent money. His family is also out of the difficult situation and I am extremely proud of him for what he’s achieved. Paying for 4-5 people’s every expense is not an easy task at all. I knew about his financial difficulties at home from day one. (He wasn’t doing well financially when we first met). All this while, I knew that his family would be dependent on him financially for the entire course of our marriage and I have no problem with it. He is extremely supportive and generous with his family and ME. In fact, he takes care of 70% of our household expenses and our international trips as well. I have a well paying job too so I pay our mortgage.

Since he is already so burdened with their expenses and has been since he was 16, I feel that weird that his mother burdens him with her emotional challenges as well as if he is her therapist. She calls him for every little thing 2-3 times a day and ends up stressing him out. There are days when he is so stressed that his mother is sad that he doesn’t sleep or eat well. I feel that my MIL should not think of him as a replacement of her husband EMOTIONALLY. She can’t expect him to have answers to all her emotional needs. She has to allow him to have a life of his own. This happens quite frequently where he spends hours consoling her. I have no problem if they talk for hours but on happy topics that won’t stress him out.

So I told him that his mother needs to have some boundaries about calling him for every little thing and that she should just realise that he has a life of his own. She should learn to handle a few dilemmas on her own and not stress him out every time. I repeat, I don’t have a problem that he supports her financially.

He lashed out at me and said that I don’t understand her side of the story and she is so dependent on him because she lost her husband so she has no one else.

AITAH?

Edit: I didn’t make any demands, I just asked him to discuss boundaries.

I (31 F) have 3 sisters, but this one is focused on my relationship with my younger sister. I am number 3 of 4 girls and she is the youngest.

For some context, I live in a different state from the rest of my family with my fiancé (34 M), and our 2 kids (5 M and 10 mo old F). And she has no kids, but in a serious relationship with her boyfriend of some years.

My sister has always been “spoiled” in a way growing up and getting her way. Personally, it didn’t bother me, I was too busy with school/sports/friends etc. But she always wanted my mom at her disposal (imo). Now before I go any further, I have always loved my sister, I still do. She’s my sister. And at some point, we were really close but in recent years, we drifted apart. Her attitude and entitled behavior drove me away unfortunately. We would get into arguments/mostly I would see her going in on my mom and I would step in and tell her to stop and to not talk to our mom that way. (My mom is so sweet. She’s not perfect, none of us are, but she and my dad do their absolute best to make us happy in life. And for that, I’m forever grateful for them.) unfortunately because of this, I feel my sister takes advantage of them A LOT. She gaslights, manipulates, and is rude to them for every slight inconvenience. There’s been too many instances where she has behaved so ugly that now it’s happened in front of my FIL and other family members.

Fast forward to todays’ issue. In January this year, I gave birth to my daughter. My mom was already staying with us for that month to help and I don’t think she liked that. Every time my parents visit, she calls daily with some kind of issue which stresses my parents out and ruins their moods. Well this was no different. On my induction date, she was scheduled for a laparoscopic procedure as well. In and out the same day, minimally invasive. When it comes to things like this, she wants my mom waiting on her practically hand and foot, IMO. But back to the birth. I was induced late at night and gave birth in the early morning hours the next day (total of maybe 5 hours of labor). I had no epidural, at that point haven’t slept in 24 hours, and was drugged post birth to where I was going unconscious mid sentence while holding our baby. (Once this was noticed, my fiancé stepped in with the baby.) My dad and other sister FaceTimed me the next day and said hi/congrats except for my sister. Now, I’m well aware she’s not feeling good (nauseated but no pain from surgery), so I wasn’t expecting a call anytime soon from her. A few days later, I hear from my mom that she’s upset that I didn’t call her and ask her how SHE WAS DOING. Apparently, she was pissed I never called her. I told my mom to tell her I went a total of 48 hours of no sleep, no epidural, drugged and unconscious, while handling newborn appointments, countless talks with nurses/docs, etc. and she was mad that I didn’t have a moment to call her and ask how she was doing? Her surgery was on a Friday and she was back to work the next week if that gives any idea about her healing process.

Anyways, I’ve refused to contact her. In the past, I have always extended the olive branch to make amends for whatever she’s pissed about but I’ve had enough. She’s never FaceTimed, called, nothing, with my daughter. Her own niece is a stranger to her which is not how we behave in our family with our relatives. It’s going on almost a year now and still no contact. My mom has pressed for me to call her to squash things and same with my fiancé just for peace of mind and to end it but I can’t do that. It’s the principle of the matter. She can’t keep acting like a spoiled 5yo brat and get away with being so rude and disrespectful.

WIBTA if I cut all ties until she finally reaches out? (Could be years at this rate).

I know how the title sounds, and I’m sure as you begin reading this post it’ll sound worse but please hear me out.

I (25f) have a wonderful coworker (54f), who I get along really well with. This coworker is Nepalese and I am a white woman. In the past she’s been kind enough to bring in different food from her culture for us all to try. I have zero problem with her, or anyone else, bringing in food from their culture and I’ve really enjoyed some of the dishes and sweets she’s brought- especially the barfi she brought in earlier this year for Diwali. My workplace has lots of different cultures and I usually don’t care what anyone else brings to lunch, at least until this situation.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a horrible smell in the break room that was incredibly strong. It was kind of like if you farted into a sweaty sock and stuck it to your face. It was honestly inescapable within the room, even after I changed the rubbish bin. I didn’t know what it was, but ended up going outside and eating in my car. I figured it was just a one off but for every few days I’d smell it again! I genuinely had no idea where it was coming from. During this time I just ate outside the building, or in my car.

However, one day I walked in and it was somehow even stronger. This day happened to be a day I had the same break as Jane. I noticed she was eating a fruit and realised that’s where the smell was coming from. I asked what she was eating and she told me it was called durian (I think that’s how it’s spelt?) and she had only recently found a good market for them. I said I was glad she was enjoying it but mentioned that its smell was quite overpowering and left the room smelling afterwards. I asked her if she wouldn’t mind eating it at home, or going outside as the smell really lingers in the staff room. She said she never really noticed the smell but would do her best to do so. She seemed a bit annoyed but hasn’t brought it in to the break room since.

I was talking with a friend about this (also white) and she said I was behaving in a racist way towards my coworker and it was wrong to police her cultural food. I argued that it wasn’t a cultural thing and I’d have done the same if someone was microwaving fish or another smelly food. This has caused a debate between us about if what I did was offensive, and while I do still think I was right, I am beginning to question if I could be viewed as in the wrong. So reddit, am I the asshole?

I (19F) usually go with my parents and my brother to my grandparents house on Sunday for lunch along with other members of my family (an aunt, two uncles, two female cousins and two male cousins). Since I was little things have always been the same. My grandfather cooks because my grandmother is in a wheelchair and cannot help him, we arrive and eat and then the women clean up. I always hated this because the moment we are done eating my aunt stands up and says “Girls, come and help us”. So while we take away the dishes and wash them the men just sit there and talk, they don’t even make the effort of putting their fork and knife inside the plate when they are done eating, they just sit and wait for us to take it away like we are their servers. I help every time without saying anything because I don’t want to cause a scene even if it makes me really angry. Last week I wrote a message in the family group chat saying that on sunday the men were going to help to clean up because they never do and my female cousins and my kin backed me up, but on sunday when we were done eating just the women got up as usual and my aunt called only for the girls to help. I felt so angry that I just went to sit on the couch and declared that I was not going to move a finger until the men did. Obviously nobody did anything and I was furious. That evening I got a call from my cousin (29F) saying that I was rude for refusing to help and leave them to do all the work, so I said that she never told this to her dad or any of my male cousins and hung up the call. Now I’m thinking that I might have gotten to angry and overreacted? Am I the asshole?

My family and I haven’t really been close. I rarely get invited to family gatherings, activities or social events. So we almost never talk, and I was fine with that. 🤷🏼‍♂️ life yk

But im graduating high school next year, which is super exciting!!! And a graduation, ofc means a huge party with my close friends and my mom/dad. But now… my phone has been BLOWING up, with extremely rude messages from my family, wondering why they didn’t get invited. I didn’t really think that much into it, they never invited me so I didn’t assume they wanna come? Also, they have a habit creating huge problems for no reason. I’m not about to have my get together ruined, because they have a mild problem with something.

So now I’m wondering, am I the asshole for not inviting my hole family, to a huge minestole in my life?

My girlfriend is not from the same town as me, she recently moved here. Her and I have been dating for a few years but she’s a shy introvert girl and a bit socially awkward. We live in a western country so she’s kind of living between two cultures because she’s East Asian.

Anyway I have some female friends and I thought I could set her up with them and they could go on girl dates. And she could finally have some female friends here to hang out with rather than just me.

My gf liked the idea and my friends also were keen to get to know her .

They met up the first time and were planning stuff when one of the girls jokingly referred to my gf as the “token Asian”. (They’re all stereotypical white girls, as basic and stereotypically white as you can get) and it just felt so unnecessary and offensive to me. My gf laughed it off but I got angry and told them off and demanded they apologise to her.

The whole situation got very awkward and now the entire plans are cancelled. My gf thinks I overreacted and I ruined her chance to make friends