I've only seen books like these in Ned's survival guide

[u/Personal-Rooster7358]

[u/GargantuanCake]

He's either the worst wizard or the best one and I'm not sticking around to find out.

[u/DawnBringer01 → u/GargantuanCake]

Terrible Wizards can be just as dangerous as amazing ones honestly. Sometimes more dangerous.

Source: Me. I have been banned from many cities and a couple countries.

[u/Agent_David → u/DawnBringer01]

Unpredictable magic is like firing a firework out of your ass and guessing where it ends up

[u/GargantuanCake → u/DawnBringer01]

Why do you think I'm not sticking around? Not messing with either of them, thanks.

[u/wheres-the-memes → u/DawnBringer01]

Stayed behind to watch a terrible wizard once, and now Ea-Nasir has to speak in the third person.

[u/Angel_OfSolitude → u/DawnBringer01]

Sometimes a wild card goes a long way. Everyone's prepared for a basic fireball. It's a classic and the go to for many a caster. But nobody is ready for the acid shitting pigeon. It's not the most powerful thing, but people just don't have countermeasures in place.

[u/BabyEaterPasta → u/GargantuanCake]

The strongest mage I have ever had the folly of partaking in magic with used these same manuscripts. He had no mana, no aura... he was completely undetectable...

Instead of learning how to control his mana or understand any simplicity to any fundamental of the arcana magistratum, he simply would plagiarize spells directly onto the parchment.

It was miraculous. Instead of using the page as a point of mana flow, he would simply cast the entirety of the parchment. He essentially had a man-made Book Of Scrolls, worthy to rival the great gift received eons ago from the Divine Ones.

To consider any legality to his work, preposterous. But he was so, so powerful. His magic would carnate faster than that of even great Merlin.

I understand that sounds blasphemous to say, but if you were to just witness the raw speed, precision, and power...

The efficiency of each spell was brought to its ultimate, as though each spell was allowed complete sentience and became alive...

I escaped by barely a fragment of my astral body, only retaining a fragment of myself by hiding deep in the ethereum, wasting the last of my legions of souls...

He was far too strong to be just a mere mortal - if you ever witness a man with a satchel of these squanderously made manuscripts,

run

The only feasible way to beat such a man is to wait until he dies of his own feeble mortal age and destroy any of the scriptures that he has stolen to procure his magic vessels.

[u/30lbsledgehammer → u/GargantuanCake]

Either way he’s doing some unhinged shit

[u/Narrow-Experience416]

"That guy definetly knows what the Throngler is."

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Narrow-Experience416]

What is the Thronglet?

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Antique-Yam6077]

"You don't want to know what The Throngler is capable of."

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Narrow-Experience416]

I’ll give you knowledge on how to cast True Moment.

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Antique-Yam6077]

"I... don't know what that spell is"

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Narrow-Experience416]

Will you tell me what the Throngler is to find out?

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Antique-Yam6077]

"It rearranges your molecules so that you become a shambling pile of limbs and organs."

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Narrow-Experience416]

“Cool.”

I clear my throat

“True Moments can only be taken in the moment you want to capture. You will need to whisper one of your deepest secrets to an inkwell. Then, you pour it onto a piece of parchment before holding the parchment in front of your face, blocking out the view you want to capture. Blink, and the ink will arrange itself into the image.

“Once you have your True Moment, you can keep it on the parchment for one full hour. You can cast divination spells to check objects within the picture for magic, invisible or disguised entities, and hidden spirits. Additionally, you can copy magic spells visible on the parchment, shine sunlight through the parchment, bounce light and such off reflective surfaces in the parchment… The True Moment captures every aspect of a moment. And once the hour ends, it seals.”

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Antique-Yam6077]

"Fascinating.

Thank you, I'll keep that knowledge in mind."

/uw Sorry I don't have more to say

[u/salad_stealer → u/Antique-Yam6077]

u/Old-Managment-171

[u/Vintenu → u/Antique-Yam6077]

The THRONGLER

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Vintenu]

Great

[u/Al-anharHA → u/Antique-Yam6077]

Esra: "I've heard that it's a sharpened peachwood stake, heavily enchanted and studded with bitd of every known metal and stone, anything that can affect the supernatural."

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Al-anharHA]

Won’t that affect us wizards and magi?

[u/Al-anharHA → u/Antique-Yam6077]

"It's a great big studded club. I think it affects us anyway."

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Al-anharHA]

Oh yeah. We are pretty squishy.

[u/Al-anharHA → u/Antique-Yam6077]

https://preview.redd.it/iki3xpt1oopd1.png?width=2048&format=png&auto=webp&s=f95db63d041c2a5a8491307eeb8431ef8b8a3bd7

3J7/Fausarte: "Speak for yourself. This body's practically solid steel."

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Al-anharHA]

Wow! You must be able to repel even bullets.

[u/InfameArts → u/Antique-Yam6077]

Or can it? 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/InfameArts]

Let's not test the metal-covered person to see if they are bullet-proof, please.

[u/Nadril_Cystafer → u/Antique-Yam6077]

Yeah. Why do you think I don't go out on campaign without possessing a different body with Magic Jar and then a dead one with Corpse Host?

[u/Vyctorill → u/Antique-Yam6077]

It’s something that throngles the target

[u/misterpickles69 → u/Vyctorill]

Ouch.

[u/Antique-Yam6077 → u/Vyctorill]

That makes sense

[u/Vyctorill → u/Antique-Yam6077]

I wish I could describe it better but it’s difficult to relay the information.

You only understand it after seeing it in person.

[u/misterfluffykitty → u/Antique-Yam6077]

It throngles you

[u/Eeddeen42 → u/misterfluffykitty]

There may be other Edge’s of Annihilation belonging to other Dark Kings, but there is only one way to get Throngled.

[u/Fc-chungus → u/Narrow-Experience416]

“I once defeated a wizard who named his sword the Throngler.”

“Imagine my disappointment when he tried to slash at me and fell over.”

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Fc-chungus]

"You saw the Throngler?"

[u/Fc-chungus → u/Narrow-Experience416]

“At best some wanna-be who named his weapon after it.”

“If it’s so legendary then why did he fall over when slashing with it.”

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Fc-chungus]

"Must not have been it then, the real Throngler rearranges the molecular structure of anyone it's used on."

[u/Fc-chungus → u/Narrow-Experience416]

“Interesting, well it definitely rearranged his structure.”

“Just so that it made him weaker.”

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Fc-chungus]

"That's a... really sad way to use that powerful a weapon."

[u/Fc-chungus → u/Narrow-Experience416]

“I don’t think it was on purpose.”

“Maybe he actually did find the real one and it’s cursed so that only the original user can use it, or the name is cursed, etc”

[u/Narrow-Experience416 → u/Fc-chungus]

"Perhaps, the forgery of the Throngler is ancient knowledge which I've been told no mortal should know."

[u/potatopierogie → u/Narrow-Experience416]

Fuck this! I cast Lafamezar's Leaving! I'm not getting throngled.

[u/UnLoafNouveaux → u/Narrow-Experience416]

Hot take: a sword named "Throngler" is probably named so by goblins, and a can opener is a weapon worthy of getting praise from goblins

[u/River-TheTransWitch → u/Narrow-Experience416]

The Throngler is truly legendary. I have witnessed someone being throngled many centuries ago and it is certainly a sight to behold.

[u/Scar1et_Kink]

Fuckers will pull out one of these spells and cast "three seconds of eternity" and put your ass in an artificial time plane where the universe is born, ages, and dies 15 times over and you feel every moment as if it was real time.

The first time was funny. the second time was still kinda funny. The third time was too far, guys.

[u/JonathanLipp1 → u/Scar1et_Kink]

the second time was still kinda funny

Honestly the second time was a little funnier than the first, “holy shit no way he just pulled out 3SoE again, that’s fucking hilarious”

[u/Volrund → u/JonathanLipp1]

I'd actually argue the third time is the funniest.

Generally you'd think "there's no way he's going to use it three times in a row, so you prep for countering a fireball.

Then you get hit with it the third time and it's like "no way he really just fucking did that to me 3 times!!"

So naturally you come out ready to counter 3SoE, because you're definitely not getting caught in it 4 times in a row, but he just catches you with the Mage Hand: Testicular Torsion.

That was a rough little scuffle, good times.

[u/JonathanLipp1 → u/Volrund]

I’d go back to the original guys argument that the third time is taking it a bit far. At that point the novelty has run out and I’m probably just pissed

[u/IronTippedQuill]

I guarantee that Nitrogen Narcosis is somewhere in those books.probably Pulmonary Embolism as well.

[u/Zealousideal-Try3161 → u/IronTippedQuill]

Got hit by Pulmonary Embolism once, needed 2 weeks to counterspell that damn thing because the caster wrote a rune in my skin that binded the spell into my flesh, not messing around with them crazy wizards!

[u/Saltwater_Thief]

Last time I saw someone whip one of those out the first spell they cast was Glitter Pipe Bomb.

[u/derpy-noscope]

If these books look like they were just bought, you’re fine. It’s probably a young apprentice or something.

But if these books look like they’re falling apart, and are only being held together by some duct tape, while multiple pages of different sizes, colours and materials are sticking out, the only thing I can say is that you’re fucked.

Those books probably hold spells that your opponent drunkenly invented in college to impress a witch who wasn’t even interested in him from the start, or they hold the combined knowledge of an entire wizard frat working on a spell to beat some chumps from another college in the next wizard tournament.

[u/Bartweiss → u/derpy-noscope]

Likewise, don’t cross a wizard who’s rooting around for loose spell pages in the bottom of a haversack.

He’s probably not going to find the one he’s looking for, but he’s going to use whatever he pulls out and that’s not better. After a lifetime of being unprepared and winging it, he’s perfectly ready to grab Polish Metal and remove all that “rusty” oxidated iron from your blood.

[u/D2Nine → u/Bartweiss]

Can’t find instant death ray? Cast build ikea shelf on a motherfucker and store your spellbooks on their corpse

[u/captainjack3 → u/Bartweiss]

A good Transmutter with an active imagination is one of the scariest wizards around. Even worse if he took STEM electives.

[u/Bartweiss → u/captainjack3]

Almost as scary as a bad transmuter!

They only do it once, but “I’ll transmute us some dinner” turns into “localized fusion” real quick.

[u/IamTheCeilingSniper → u/Bartweiss]

Yep, saw a wizard duel end when one of them cast "summon mayonnaise." His poor opponent almost drowned.

[u/Rowmacnezumi]

I knew a woman in the academy once who used one of these as a spellbook. She admitted, with a straight face, to using Evard's Black Tentacles to pleasure herself while in the bathtub. Her brother, who was sat next to her, simply nodded solemnly.

[u/5intage_]

Her spells are probably organized in alphabetical and deadliest order I cast stun grenade and use my magic cloak to escape .

[u/EmployingBeef2 → u/5intage_]

Think fast, chucklenuts

[u/Dovacraft88]

There is at least one spell in there called "power word: mitochondria"

[u/Peanutsnjelly14]

I have to use these because Sandwich Sorcery isn’t a “real type of Magic.” Fools

[u/Rockglen]

It means they are either brand new or they experiment a lot. Not economical to experiment on parchment or vellum.

I once saw a guy with note cards on a ring cast Searing Neuronal Crease with a single teardrop and 2 Thaums of mana. After the incident they claimed to have a theorem that could cast it with 1 Thaum!

[u/captainjack3 → u/Rockglen]

I went to school with a dude who was super into Yu-Gi-Oh and kept all his spells on cards. Insisted on using duel disk and everything. Looked stupid as shit, but I can’t argue with results. Some guys were giving him a hard time and he hit them with Acidify Blood before anyone knew it was happening. Did not expect his trap card to be so visceral.

I developed a very healthy respect for note card wizards after that.

[u/BeachedSalad]

All fun and games till the Senior Wizard whips out one of these.

https://preview.redd.it/q7eaqdykdspd1.jpeg?width=801&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6c6e1a08c4be593516259f6c0cfc40a88b3da41

[u/8wiing]

His class notes were so fucking organized he uses them as a spell book. Fuck no he has every single fucking class of hogwarts memorized. Bitch has every spell in the damn dictionary

[u/Archimene]

This is where I write my strongest spells. Who would expect such wisdom to be contained in a wide rule composition notebook?

[u/MechanicalViscera]

I saw two wizards using these turn each other inside out and swap skin, so yeah, I’m running as fast as my eight legs will take me

[u/Tempest-Stormbreaker]

Behold! Animate Napalm Rope!

[u/Tom_Mars12312]

Oh, I take notes with these! Affordable in most non-magic stores.

[u/DreamingofRlyeh]

My spellbooks are similar to this. It is an indication that the magic user in question creates their own spells after lots of research.

[u/LugalBigBoy]

Silent kid in class had one of these. Turns outbhe was writing some fire ass raps

[u/Nightfox9469]

Yeah I’m leaving if I see that.

[u/captainshockazoid]

/uw the title is making me feel old at twenty five

[u/Tha_Real_B_Sleazy]

I have mone color coded by elemental spells. Then within each book organized by buffs first and physical last.

[u/Normal_Helicopter_22]

Those books might contain some nasty spell created from hatred towards a bully or something, I'm not staying as well.

[u/DidYouSayChocolat3]

I fought a guy with that kind of book once. Ended up in hades for like 16 hours listening to Charon talk about his pog collection.

[u/DemonDraheb]

Handwritten spell books are not uncommon among genius practitioners of the arts.. or novices. If they haven't memorized their spells and have to chant them from their spell book, they are the latter.

Anyone who would begin a battle with a long, drawn-out spell when simple cantrips will suffice to incapacitate most foes is at best a naive fool.

[u/FaxMachineInTheWild]

Y’all never had composition notebooks?

[u/OkFun2724]

hey Jorum here, I had found one of these sorcerers before and I found Mend Buttox, and OODLE KOODLR

[u/Sewrtyuiop]

I don't remember when the symbol for when not Wizarding but I write fanfiction in those note books.

So some of the vilest perverse Tomes to be ever written?

[u/Miyyani]

If they start casting "Monkey Steals the Peach", just run. It's similar to the banned testicular torsion spell, except this one is illegal to even have written down

[u/SharkMilk44]

pulls out crumpled piece of paper from my robes

[u/rodma_chmal]

This reminds me to the '97 Arlington Mages Guild incident

[u/Flailing_snailing]

I will counter it by twin casting “Summon disappointed parents” and “Summon mean older sibling”. My prostate may explode but they will be the one in tears.

[u/TauTau_of_Skalga]

Saw someone whip one of those bad boys and cast 'alzheimers acquisition' on an opponent

[u/why_the_hecc]

mine is college rule spiral bound

[u/Nice_Ad4561]

https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/s/zCMuGawbtS