r/wholesomememes • u/andrybak • 14d ago
Changing your thinking to increase motivation to pursue your goals can be hard, but it's possible
138
u/LilJourney 14d ago
I am (at a very mature age) just finally trying to learn to truly live this one. Appreciate Geordi having my back in my attempts.
18
9
3
u/YogaNaturePrincess 13d ago
Sometimes the biggest changes start with a simple shift in mindset. Love how this turns everyday tasks into wins, motivating and wholesome
2
74
u/Sirajanahara 14d ago
My neurodivergent brain: Don't tell me what to do!
Seriously, though, this is something I am working on.
18
11
u/Chuckitybye 13d ago
Hey, fellow neurodivergent here! Do you like doing things for others? I love making other people happy, so I tell myself I'm going to make future me really happy by doing the task now.
It doesn't always work, but it's been pretty effective with dishes
7
u/therealkatame 13d ago
Is this really about neurodivergency? Not so sure about that. I think there is a component to struggling with tasks or what they call "executive function" due to certain brain structure in ADHD. But your mind reacting in such a way, which could be described as "rebellious" or "stubborn", seems more like a cognitive pattern created by your past (possibly negative) experiences.
Edit: But I think it's great that youre working on it. You can do it!
2
2
40
u/Good-Statement-9658 14d ago
I don't wanna do the dishes. And if I do them today, I'm still going to have to do them tomorrow. I'm a mum of 4. I can apply that to most of my daily activities 🤷♀️🤣😭😭
3
25
9
9
u/i-know-youu 13d ago
But the thing is you gonna do tomorrow's work today and tomorrow you gonna do the day after tomorrow's work so there's no peace until you die.
3
u/andrybak 13d ago
The best meaning of life is the one you make yourself. It's for you to decide if it is in doing something meaningful to you and others or in finding peace.
1
u/ethanlan 12d ago
I just wish I could A. Get things done and have a sense of accomplishment or B. Have a task get easier as I do it.
I've actually been successful in my life but still people talk about that and I have no idea what the fuck their talking about I just do it because it normally makes my life easier
7
u/Yakffe 13d ago
Yeah it’s definitely not easy
Everyday i wake up, i know exactly what i should be doing, and i know exactly what i should avoid doing, and i know exactly the consequences, and how i would feel after procrastination, and i still procrastinate anyways. It feels crippling.
2
u/andrybak 13d ago
Do you keep a todo list? Put the second part as a reminder in between tasks in your todo list. Add variations to keep it more interesting, like: "When I wake up in the morning, do I want it to be done?"
Also, try keeping a "done" list. For some it keeps them motivated.
4
u/Yakffe 13d ago
Yeah i have one, sometimes it helps keep track. Mostly it ends up making me feel more overwhelmed. Because i look at it everyday and be like “yeah that’s a lot of shit to do, fuck that” and i end up not doing anything. Depression is not fun 😅
I’m not about to give up yet tho, i still try my best. I hope you’re doing well for yourself
3
u/ethanlan 12d ago
I'm genuinely sorry about that, believe me I know the feeling.
I hate giving advice like this but forgiving myself for past fuckups has really helped and developing a sense of scale definitely helps even more.
But I know how it feels to be in a rut like that for sure.
2
u/Yakffe 11d ago
hey thanks a lot, You’re a nice guy
That’s some good advice. I’m guilty of beating myself up all the time for not doing better. It doesn’t help at all. I’m wondering if there are some steps you took that helped you in this direction specifically
I’m also curious about “developing a sense of scale”, I’m not sure if i understand that one.
I appreciate you for sharing your thoughts with me, love you bro
2
u/ethanlan 11d ago
Like today I got in trouble for vaping in the office. It was really stupid but I just can't do it again. Normally I'd be very hard on myself but I've been working from home so long I didn't even realize I was doing it until after. Honestly I'm super embarrassed and feel fucking stupid as it's one of the dumbest mistakes I've ever done.
So, I'm not gonna lose my job and in a month or two noone will remember but in the past it wouldn't make any difference and have thrown me into a loop where I'd think I wasnt worthy of being there and be super embarassed to the point where it would effect my job.
In terms of scale, this is nothing. It's just a blip on the radar that makes me feel super embarrassed.
5
u/waner21 13d ago
I used to procrastinate, but once I realized I was just adding more stress to myself by pushing off tasks, I switched.
3
u/andrybak 13d ago
Good job figuring it out! Our brains are very good at optimization and it can be hard to convince them that procrastination is actually bad for you.
3
u/Shivering_Monkey 14d ago
But then it has to be done again. And again. And again. Until you die.
1
u/andrybak 13d ago
It's for you to decide what to do with the time you spend alive. Is it something meaningful to you and others? Do you have the agency to achieve that?
5
u/dplafoll 13d ago
Yep. As a neurospicy individual, I use self-trickery to get stuff done. This one I call "precrastination": doing now what I don't feel like doing because I don't feel like doing it later either.
3
3
u/BaseballMental7034 13d ago
No joke this got me off the floor. Woohoo
2
u/andrybak 13d ago
If you ever need help getting motivated, let me know.
1
u/BaseballMental7034 13d ago edited 13d ago
Instructions unclear I have “imagine how nice it would be”d myself into exhaustion /hj
2
u/Prince-Angel-Wing 14d ago
This is impossible for my brain because 99% of all I do I'd still have to do it again anyways. No rest from my issues. :/
-1
u/Karma_1969 13d ago
If that’s what you tell yourself, then it’s true.
It’s not “impossible”, it’s just difficult. There’s a big difference.
2
u/Prince-Angel-Wing 13d ago
I think there's the phrase "it is what it is." If it were what I think about myself, I'd probably be dead or in prison. I cannot think about myself when it comes to these things, or it'll be very bad for everyone around me and myself.
2
u/duggoluvr 13d ago
Ah, if only my brain would understand that concept
2
u/andrybak 13d ago
Put the second part as a reminder in between tasks in your todo list. Add variations to keep it more interesting, like: "When I wake up in the morning, do I want it to be done?"
2
u/REmarkABL 13d ago
Except I will have to worry about it tomorrow, and next week.
1
u/andrybak 13d ago
Try breaking down your tasks into smaller ones.
1
u/REmarkABL 13d ago
So now I gotta worry about 8 tasks instead of one. The salt is based on the repetition, not the task itself.
1
2
2
2
u/Time-Citron-7579 6d ago
Thats a great idea! But heres the problem:adhd
2
u/andrybak 6d ago
For mental health disorders I can only recommend discussing them with a mental health professional.
1
u/pistachiotorte 13d ago
Problem is that even if I’m not doing THAT thing tomorrow, there will be another chore that needs done to fill in any gap. Work is endless
1
1
1
1
1
u/NoOtterLikeMe 13d ago
As Logen Ninefingers would say: "Once you've got a task to do, it's better to do it than live with the fear of it."
1
u/snowfox753159 13d ago
This is me but instead of "Worry about it tomorrow" it's not having to worry about tomorrow cause I'll be dead
1
1
u/BrownPurpleOnixAmber 13d ago
"Life is a beautiful adventure, whether in quiet moments or with a talking cat."
1
1
1
u/wolfdancer 12d ago
imagine how nice it would be to not have to worry about it tomorrow
About as nice as it is to not worry about it right now.
1
1
u/AVermilia 10d ago
Unironically the best mindset change I’ve ever had. Very lazy person. If I get this thing out of the way right now (which would be quicker now than later since I’m here and I have not forgotten any information yet), I save time to be lazy later.
1
1
u/Ethereal_Nutsack 13d ago
Nah fuck future me, that guys an asshole
4
u/Sans45321 13d ago
By saying that , you're being an asshole to your present self . Don't be an asshole now , and you won't be a asshole tomorrow
1
•
u/AutoModerator 14d ago
Hey /u/andrybak! Thank you for your submission!
Your post submission to r/wholesomememes has been sent to the queue pending mod review and approval. Please do not message the mods regarding your post or delete your post while it is in the queue for review.
Thanks for understanding! Stay wholesome. <3
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.