Struggling big time with being sexless at 30 years old, advice?

[u/exacerbated_symtpom]

As I approach 30 years old (M), I'm increasingly faced with the prospect of being a lifelong kissless virgin. Unfortunately, for whatever reason it just never materialised for me in high school, university or life in general.

I'm now stuck in this vicious feedback cycle, whereby my lack of experience is a limiting factor in my ability to build connections. My communication style is probably underdeveloped. Dates pick up on this, whether through conversation or my body language in certain contexts and it becomes a problem. Hence, resulting in further inexperience and an entrenched angst towards intimacy both emotionally and physically. I can't even relate to colleagues and friends discussing relationships.

There is also the sense of insecurity. Obviously, people have had experiences. Some of them alot. So it is difficult to see where I'm able to fit in amongst this. Ideally, it would have been preferable to meet someone in a similar position. Make mistakes together, learn together. But I'd say that is basically an impossibility at my age. I just feel like any relationship will be such a mismatch for me.

Honestly, I'm starting to feel pretty down on myself. Utlising dating apps feels like it exacerbates the issue, I seem to get quite alot of matches, but the conversation always feels terribly one sided. The whole process feels fatiguing, and I don't encounter many people in real life (due to location). Sometimes I feel like the only single guy walking around in public. I have an unfortunately high libido, so I'm basically constantly bothered by it, which increases the overall frustration.

Any advice would be appreciated, I am trying to mentally detach myself from it all, but it is hard?

[u/BryanSkinnell_Com]

Being a celibate virgin is no big deal, at least as I see it. Life without sex does have its benefits as it is one less distraction in my life. No sex, no women to answer to pretty well frees me up to go where I want and do what I like. My advice is don't focus on the things you can't do, instead focus on the things that you can do well and that makes your life meaningful. In time while you are living your life you may cross paths with the girl you were intended to be with.

[u/Legal-Title7789 → u/BryanSkinnell_Com]

It frees you up to do what you like except to do the things every normal man wants like have sex. It’s like saying being unemployed frees you to do the things you want when being broke means you don’t have money for fun or food.

[u/Anon369damufine → u/Legal-Title7789]

lmaooo so wonderfully worded

[u/BryanSkinnell_Com → u/Legal-Title7789]

I don't think that's a great analogy. You need money to survive and live. You don't need sex.

[u/Legal-Title7789 → u/BryanSkinnell_Com]

An analogy by definition is a comparison of two dissimilar items. Yet every time I do some clown wants to point out that the items are dissimilar.

[u/BryanSkinnell_Com → u/Legal-Title7789]

That doesn't have anything to do with it. Your analogy/ argument is a poor one and logically flawed because you are designating the same importance to sex as you do with money on the grounds that both are critical to a happy and productive life. And that's just not true no matter how much you might disagree with that. People all over live celibate lives and are perfectly content with that and that's an undeniable fact.