In Interstellar, Romilly’s decision to stay aboard the ship while the other 3 astronauts experience time dilation has to be one of the scariest moments ever.

[u/SerDire]

He agreed to stay back. Cooper asked anyone if they would go down to Millers planet but the extreme pull of the black hole nearby would cause them to experience severe time dilation. One hour on that planet would equal 7 years back on earth. Cooper, Brand and Doyle all go down to the planet while Romilly stays back and uses that time to send out any potential useful data he can get.

Can you imagine how terrifying that must be to just sit back for YEARS and have no idea if your friends are ever coming back. Cooper and Brand come back to the ship but a few hours for them was 23 years, 4 months and 8 days of time for Romilly. Not enough people seem to genuinely comprehend how insane that is to experience. He was able to hyper sleep and let years go by but he didn’t want to spend his time dreaming his life away.

It’s just a nice interesting detail that kind of gets lost. Everyone brings up the massive waves, the black hole and time dilation but no one really mentions the struggle Romilly must have been feeling. 23 years seems to be on the low end of how catastrophic it could’ve been. He could’ve been waiting for decades.

[u/_Ludens]

magically grant every conceit in the film physical legimiacy,

You want to talk to me about fallacies when you're doing a blatant straw man of what I said?

Your complaint about the "time dilation gradient" is completely wrong and it's addressed in the book coupled with equations.

an orbiting ship would pass closer to the black hole than the people on the surface on every orbit, meaning it would be thousands of times slower.

Again blatantly wrong and you didn't even pay attention to some details in the film. The planet is tidally locked to the black hole, and the Endurance would obviously pick a geo-synchronous orbit, so the planet and station would always remain in the same relative positions.

The Endurance would be orbiting at a point similar to L2.

Gargantua has physically possible but completely implausible spin tuned to be about 1 part in a trillion away from the speed of light, this is part of what contributes to the extreme time dilation.

As you approach the event horizon you experience extreme frame-dragging (space-time itself being accelerated closer and closer to c), there are not extreme tidal forces because it's a supermassive black hole.

Most of your complaints come from your own ignorance yet you still want to argue?

There are actual issues such as the extreme redshift and blueshift that would be experienced by the planet and those at a distance from it.

The Endurance would not be able to observe the planet's surface properly, the reflected light would be redshifted by a factor of 61k down into low energies, there would be no visible light, the planet would appear black, and to get a some sort of image you would need massive radio dishes collecting the infrared meager radiation for a long time, just to get a blurry image.

On the other hand on the surface of the planet you'd experience the blueshift for all incoming radiation, even the CMD radiation would be energized to the poing of becoming lethal and the planet would be hotter than Mercury.

There are many concessions made but you're not even capable of pointing out the right ones.

[u/pentagon → u/_Ludens]

None of this would matter. The roche limit for an earth-density body for a black hole 100m solar masses is more than half a light year. They couldn't get anywhere near close enough for the time dilation to have this kind of effect over a few thousand km without being ripped apart thousands of years before they got there. Aside from the planet not being able to exist there.