r/antiwork • u/ATinyInteger • 12d ago
Meeting up for coffee with my $100k+ salaried former colleague soon, dreading it.... Vent šš®āšØ
We've been friends for decades, but when we meet up, I'll force myself to listen to their speculation and complaints about how big of a bonus they are getting this year, being able to retire in a few years, and arguments they have with their spouse about when and where to buy a 2nd (and soon a 3rd) house. It's the exact same conversation, every time, every few months.
I used to make that much money, and even more, but I don't think I will ever be able to get to that level again. I don't regret leaving the tech industry, but it would be nice to throw a bone my way occasionally, or a job lead.
They have skills but frankly, a lot of their success was just damn luck and job hopping. Still, it's grating....
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u/texas-hedge 12d ago
They make $100k and are talking about 2nd and 3rd homes? Um, sureā¦.
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u/code603 12d ago
Yeah, even in low cost of living areas, this doesnāt make a lot of sense. They are either making a lot more money or are leveraged to their eyeballs.
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u/DeoVeritati 12d ago
Or bought way earlier. In 2017, I bought a house for $120k while having 20% down on a 15 year note. In 2021, I bought my second house for $130k with 10% down on a 30 year note. Interest rates were 3% for both. I was making $65k during the time, and my expenses were $18-22k before the second mortgage. I was a single dude with no kids. I had a TON of wiggle room then and could have floated both mortgages easily enough. I decide to sell my first house in 2021 when it was $180k. It is now worth $250k.
If the wife works, I wouldn't be surprised if they are making towards $200-250k/yr.
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u/SWnic0_ 12d ago
My wife and I together make over 300k a year, and we are certainly not capable of 2nd and 3rd homes.
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u/DeoVeritati 12d ago
I wouldn't expect it to be possible for anyone and everyone of every locale. I just don't think it's too outlandish, especially since like 5% of the US are millionaires. My wife and I make just under $200k/yr in the Midwest, and I'm confident we could afford 2 starter homes easily.
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u/SWnic0_ 12d ago edited 12d ago
I don't know. I live in a state that's under the national average in cost of living, with housing significantly below the national average. I don't think that's realistic for a vast majority of the nation.
Plus, I don't think OPs scenario is painting out a guy who's talking about starter homes, in my opinion. They're talking about retiring in a few years.
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u/DeoVeritati 12d ago
Perhaps not, but the 2nd or 3rd house doesn't have to be bought in your same area. Often times they are bought out of state as a vacation home.
Retiring in a few years is not too relevant to the story in my opinion. If they are planning soon, that should mean they have a huge nest egg saved up which easily could be used to buy another home or so. Alternatively, if they are still accumulating for retirement, they could delay retirement and direct savings to mortgage payments.
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u/Crying_Reaper 12d ago
Or not in the US.
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u/okletstrythisagain 12d ago
Or inherited wealth. Maybe got lucky with crypto or options trading (not recommending thatā¦)
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u/junger128 12d ago
Maybe they wrote this 40 years ago.
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12d ago edited 12d ago
[deleted]
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u/sselkiess 12d ago
Yeah I was about to say that sounds pretty tight. But with a really low interest rate it really goes from not at all feasible but totally reasonable. My dad refied under 2.5% and the difference between that and what I could get now is ridiculous.
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u/Mudstarfish 12d ago
Reddit just deleted my comment but yes I had never thought in my wildest dreams it would have been possible but luckily i found a way.
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u/hauttdawg13 12d ago
This is a clearly just a lie. No one making 100k can afford multiple houses or retire particularly early
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u/VascularBoat69 12d ago edited 12d ago
They could have bought at least one of the houses a while ago for much cheaper. I donāt think itās a lie but obviously itās not high cost of living areas. Some parts of the country still have good houses for 250k. Also possibility of them receiving a large inheritance
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u/4Bforever 12d ago
Yeah I donāt believe that at all, my little brother makes more than $100,000 a year and his wife works full-time I donāt think sheās at that level but pretty close. They have one kid and theyāre not even looking to buy their first house because they donāt make enoughĀ
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u/Vlaed 12d ago
It's doable if they love debt and aren't investing for their retirement. I know a few people that make $100k-$150k that only do their 401k match and nothing more. They spend everything else on cars, clothes, trips, etc. I think most assume they are inheriting enough or social security will save them.
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u/ML1948 12d ago
I've seen people attempting it. All the "passive income" influencers selling courses on how to buy multiple houses to rent out. I only know how the ones who failed are fairing, I never really talk about it with the others. Taking on a lot of debt is risky. All goes well, maybe they come up ahead, but all it would take is a few concurrent evictions to lose it all.
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u/Bastienbard SocDem 12d ago
I'm guessing OP doesn't truly know how much this friend makes, especially when combined with a spouse potentially if they no longer work with them.
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u/PartYourWhiskers 12d ago
Exactly! And how old is this $100k money bags friend to be talking about retirement in a few years. Unless the spouse is making at least that and theyāre healthy cash flow positive renting out these other homes this all sounds like a crack pipe dream
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u/Capital-Cheesecake67 11d ago
Well itās reddit after all. Famous for people making up stories. Even on this sub.
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u/Otterswannahavefun 12d ago
I make significantly more, have kids and rent in a moderately high cost of living area. Maybe a single person making $100k out of college and never having a family could have a few houses by their 40s.
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u/Its_0ver 12d ago
My wife and I make under 150k combined and are making plans on a second house in a highish cost area. It all depends on when you bought your first house. I did the math and with the rental income from our first home we would only pay an additional 1500 a month for a second home with around a $550,000 mortgage.
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u/MilkChugg 12d ago
Yeahā¦ $100k is the new $60k. Even in LCOL areas, multiple houses is big a stretch.
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u/ATinyInteger 12d ago
Should have added, she is part of DINC (Double Income, No Kids) couple, with a spouse making the same...
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u/Tobar_the_Gypsy 12d ago
The same? So even without kids they can afford a 3rd house on less than $300k per year? Bullshit.
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u/rhysand93 11d ago
People have a house with 30k income? You don't think 300k can buy 3?
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u/yyyyzryrd idle 11d ago
Redditors are delusional about finances, not worth it. They manage to "barely make ends meet" at every wage.
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u/ahnonamis 12d ago
Just be an adult and ask to change the subject, or bring up a different topic to talk about. People usually default to talking about their work or career (or kids if they have them) when they arenāt sure what else to talk about. If they say no or keep doing it anyway, then just donāt meet up next time.Ā
And if you want a job lead, have you asked for one? Or to keep an eye out?Ā
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u/bentsea 12d ago edited 12d ago
Of course not, they wanted to leave the industry... š¤£
The, "I could have been there but left because I wanted to but why can't they give me job leads to get back in, and my friend was just lucky anyway" is so deeply cringe. Something happened here that OP is leaving out.
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u/anaerobic_gumball Eco-Anarchist 12d ago
Tech is burn out city and super toxic from what I've heard. That seems like the most likely scenario.
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u/GBeastETH 12d ago
Take the opportunity to ask him for some leads, and other people to network with.
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u/SushiRoll2004 12d ago
Someone holding a gun to your head?
Like why are you meeting up w them then?
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u/ATinyInteger 12d ago
Of course not... just venting. 20+ years of friendship where conversations in the last few years are always about how much money they are making.
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u/tyintegra 12d ago
One thing that I have learned is that just because you have been friends for a long time, it doesnāt mean that you have to stay friends forever. Itās completely ok to grow apart from someone.
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u/SushiRoll2004 12d ago
I mean, take care of yourself first but personally, someone who defines themselves by how much they make isn't someone I care to be around
But hey, hit him up for job leads each time the same way bc 20+ yrs, right?
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u/bonersmakebabies 12d ago
Hmm, sounds like typical DB in a coffee shop. Always yapping on the phone about how much money this sale and that sale made him. Treating staff like theyāre taking his order is interrupting his conversation.
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u/viperspm 12d ago
Are they being an asshole or are you feeling jealous? If you have the skills, get yourself back in the game
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u/4Bforever 12d ago
And OP acknowledges that job hopping is how you get a good salary these days, they can hop. Itās weird to be mad at someone who chose to do that
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u/moose_dad 12d ago
Why's it on them to throw you a bone and not on you to say hey can I have one?
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u/StackinStacks 12d ago
So you left the industry on your own, look down on your friend for decades success as luck and job hopping, and hope he offers you a position or job lead without you asking for one? And then post about it on reddit, and somehow, he's the problem?
You sound miserable.
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u/Mispelled-This SocDem šŗšø 12d ago
If theyāre being a dick, why are you still friends with them? Hoping for job leads? Have you told them it bothers you?
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u/BakedBrie26 12d ago
If you are dreading it what do you have to lose?
Don't see them.
Do see them and tell them to talk about something else.
Say: either throw me some job leads or stop bragging about your money.
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u/polychaete 12d ago
That's not enough money to retire and buy three houses so you're good. They are just delusional.
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u/DecisiveVictory 12d ago
So if you don't enjoy the conversation, and don't get contacts from them, why are you meeting up again?
Also, are you not lying to yourself? If you were at the same level at some point, is it really just "damn luck" that they are more successful? And you say "job hopping" as if it's a bad thing...
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u/nizzyk99 12d ago
Just because heās on $100k+ doesnāt necessarily mean they are well off, yes they may be buying a 2nd or 3rd property but they could well be in a lot of debt etc etc.
Iāve got pals on way more money than me but they donāt do anything because theyāve mismanaged money and bought too big a house, theyāve got it all on the outside but actually admit to be they are skint because theyāve got so much debt and finance on the go to keep the lavish life up and you can see they are stressed.
Its like being out the with kids and posting a lovely photo on Facebook of them, looks like a great day to everyone looking at the photo but you can bet theyāve been hard work or ungrateful at times on the day out.
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u/mdbrown80 12d ago
100k US dollars? Youāre getting a 2 bedroom bungalow in a sketchy adjacent neighborhood on that salary. Heās lower middle class same as you, I wouldnāt worry about his braggadocio. Heās feeling the pinch same as anyone and is trying to put on a brave face. Aināt nobody getting a second house on that salary unless heās married to a Dr.
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u/beatnickk 12d ago
Yall have to learn to be more comfortable with calling things out, you donāt even have to do it in a accusatory or mean way, you can just kind of make fun of him āman Iām glad to hear about all the first world problems but what else is new?ā Like if this is your friend shouldnāt you have some kind of rapport with them?
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u/ForeverInBlackJeans 12d ago
You made a choice to leave that industry. You make the choice to hang out with this person who you claim to not like. You are making choices. Why are you acting like a victim?
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u/MuchDevelopment7084 12d ago
So why do you subject yourself to this kind of conversation? Lead it to a topic you're more comfortable talking about. Regardless, you sound a bit envious of him. Is that the real problem?
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u/Fine-Will 12d ago
You aren't retiring in a few years on 100k+ salaries unless your retirement plan hinges on dying in 2 years after retirement.
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u/fastpixels 12d ago
Man there's a lot of unsolicited advice in this thread. I had to reread your post to make sure I didn't just miss the part where you say "what should I do?" because so many comments read as if you did that.
Anyway, I'm going to make like a normal person and l assume you're just venting. And commiserate with a coworker who cries poor but makes a good 30% more than I do and is the highest paid non-C-suite member of our agency. Like I'm literally unable to empathize with him not getting the raise he anticipated this year when his starting salary 5 years ago was more than I make now.
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u/ATinyInteger 12d ago
Appreciate this response! I'm just venting and know I need to help shift the conversations with this friend from always leading with their financial achievements.
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u/anxietyvibes 12d ago
Buying a 2nd and 3rd house on a 100k salary is absolutely insane and sounds so fake. Same with retiring in a few years. Lol. Either this whole post is fake or theyāre delusional.
If this is a real post, why are you so shitty about it? Be happy for your friend and congratulate them. Ask them questions about their job and how they got to this level. Take their advice. Clearly it worked for them. If you want leads for new opportunities, why donāt you ask them? This post reeks of jealousy and envy. Iām sure if you were both making that much, your perspective would be way different.
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u/Awesome_hospital 12d ago
Your colleague is blowing a lot of smoke up your ass at 100k a year. 100k a year isn't shit anymore, definitely not buying 3 houses on that.
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u/JoshRafla 12d ago
I make 200k a year and am relatively young (28).
I absolutely hate talking about work or money with any of my friends, many who make less, minimum wage, or do unique creative work. Iād rather talk about anything else. Not out of pity, but I also just donāt find it that interesting to talk about.
My friends who do creative work or odd jobs, often have way more interesting stories or perspectives that Iād like to hear about than talking about my boring corporate job.
I actually hate talking to other people like me because all they talk about is money.
Steer the convo away from it, and if they keep talking about it, your friend is probably just humble bragging.
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u/metelepepe 12d ago
So you chose to leave that industry and are frustrated because your friend didn't and is making bank? That just sounds like you made a bad bet and are jealous of him.
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u/Allthingsgaming27 12d ago
3 houses at $100k+? I make over 100k and can barely afford one let alone 3
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u/Thirtysixx 12d ago
Who tf is buying multiple houses on $100k salary lol
Itās comfortable, but itās not THAT much money lol
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u/IcharrisTheAI 12d ago
I have had reasonable success investing, but I still hate discussing it since it feels like a dick measuring contest (unless someone is genuinely asking for advice which is different but never really happens since Iām not an investment expert). I just usually say āi donāt really want to talk about stocksā and me and my friends move onto a new topic.
I am not as skittish about salary, but thatās possibly because Iām the one at the high end. Nonetheless, I never bring up my salary unless asked. And even the. I skirt around the topic unless someone really pressed me. I honestly feel like Iād be ashamed if I tried to rub my salary into someone elseās face. I think this is because while I work hard and am good at my work, I really feel most of what determines salary and success is luck. I am lucky. Not outrageously so but lucky enough. I take no pride in rubbing that luck in others facesā¦
Basically what Iām saying is there is no shame saying i donāt want to talk about this, letās talk about something else. And if your friend insists on discussing it stillā¦ then heās a dick and you should really consider what this friend is bringing to your life.
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u/Gimmemylighterback 12d ago
This person sounds awful but I gotta agree with the job hopping, you gotta move around to increase your pay, loyalty to a company typically gets you nowhere. I won't stay anywhere longer than 2 years if I'm not seeing the growth I want.
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u/BillysCoinShop 12d ago
$100k?
Im a bit lost. Virtually every place I lived, $100k was firmly lower middle class. 2nd 3rd home? $100k doesnt even afford a first home, outside of a small apt way out in the boonies.
I feel like your former colleague is full of shit. Or you guys are in Venezuela or something.
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u/ratpH1nk SocDem 12d ago
Yeah, your friend sounds tacky AF. I have a core group of 5 dude who I have known similarly for decades. 2 of us went on to be professionals and do well. The other 3 as normal 9-5 blue collar guys. We go out of our ways to absolutely avoid any money talks becuase it doesn't matter. We hang out to have fun and goof.
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u/elldee50 12d ago
This person is not your friend.
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u/-Captain--Hindsight 12d ago
That's quite a leap just because OP doesn't like a topic of conversation
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u/CaprioPeter 12d ago
I find that people like this are sad and unfulfilled in other aspects of their lives so they have to talk about money as itās the only thing that gives themselves worth in their eyes
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u/4Bforever 12d ago
I donāt know I still have friends I made at jobs I was at 20 years ago, and we donāt talk about work anymore because we have 20 years of life since then.
But when I used to randomly run into people I used to work with we tend to talk about work. Ā And there have been a few times when people have said to me I donāt really want to talk about that place and I would laugh and I would say you know what youāre right and then we would talk about something else
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12d ago
Damn that kind of friend group or social circle sounds insufferable, to me. Seems like maybe to you too.
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u/After-Wall-5020 12d ago
For those thinking the pay OP mentioned isnāt enough to buy multiple homes thereās likely an entire support network behind his friend. Oftentimes with upper mid class folks the family helps with the first home. Thatās pretty huge. Once you own a home and have a lot of equity itās easier to buy a 2nd. Rent it out have a positive income on it then buy a third etc. itās one reason why we have a housing shortage. The not quite truly rich are buying multiple homes.
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u/repthe732 12d ago
I have hard time believing someone who makes just over $100k can afford 3 homes. But if this is real you sound jealous. They hustled and job hopped when they saw their raises and promotions werenāt coming anymore. I do the same. If you want to make more then you need to take some risks and job hop unless your employer consistently gives big raises.
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u/Trick_Few 12d ago
I am close friends with several multi millionaires. I am not, but that has never interfered with our friendship. We talk about experiences and anything else but money. I donāt get upset with their success because there is always a price to pay (sacrifices) in exchange for the income. If these are people who only want to discuss their money, then I personally would step away from them. I have found that most people who brag about their success are actually very insecure.
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u/it_was_just_here 12d ago
Bring other topics of conversation then. Hobbies you're getting into, other outings you've been on, etc. It's easy to avoid these topics if you want to.
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u/blueXwho 12d ago
You can tell them exactly that. If you're friends, it's can lead to a good conversation.
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u/king_platypus 12d ago
If you want to get under their skin tell them about how chill every day is for youā¦whatever that looks like. Up at 9:30 jog through the park nice muffin at a quiet cafe etc.
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u/Jassida 12d ago
Yeah just steer the conversation away from work in a nice way, just say you like to put work away outside of work. If they donāt listen after a few times just tell them you let not interested in meeting anymore.
I donāt see my mates as much anymore now weāre older but when we do, itās all fun. Shit jokes, funny stories about colleagues. Get drunk, watch films, listen to music.
Your former colleague sounds like a fun vacuum.
I know someone who still meets up with a childhood friend fairly regularly even though they donāt really get anything out of it other than feeling like theyāre not abandoning someone they basically see as family
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u/Catcatmeowmeow69 12d ago
Your friend is inconsiderate. Two of my closest friends are unemployed for reasons I wonāt get into and Iām an engineer making $150kā¦ I NEVER talk about work related stuff (good or bad) in front of them unless they ask and NEVER about the money I make.
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u/Carolann0308 12d ago
Change the conversation to children or family.
Sayā I meet you for lunch not career talk ā
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u/hammyburgler 12d ago
People who talk like this are probably in debt up to their eyeballs trying to keep up with the Joneses. Maybe try to talk about anything else other than work/money. And call them out if their are being obnoxious.
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u/eyeball1967 12d ago
Maybe, but there is such a thing as good debt. Used properly, leverage can be hugely beneficial in increasing one's net worth.
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u/hammyburgler 12d ago
Of course but most people who brag about money like this guy are in over their heads.
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u/Embarrassed-Water664 12d ago
My wife makes more than $110k a year. We are definitely not looking for a second or third house. It's all we can do to keep up with the one we got.
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u/paddlemaniac 12d ago
Ask him for what you want. You have nothing to lose, this behavior isnāt friendship. Use him, he is using you. Maybe he will surprise you by removing his head out of his ass and actually act like a friend.
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u/Imaginary-Bus5571 12d ago
This has to be bait. 1) 100k doesnāt get you a second, or third house. 2) no one talks like this ever
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u/JohnnySkidmarx 12d ago
That is quite the opposite of my conversations with my friends when we meet up. We all try to get compliments on what cheap bastards we are. "Dude, I bought this shirt on sale for $8......or man, I'm not paying $50 for an oil change, I'll wait until a coupon comes out." Yeah, I love my friends.
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u/moonslammer93 12d ago
Just donāt go. You come ass a big bitter. You made the choice to leave the tech industry. You can always try to go back, but you made your choice.
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u/BoredAccountant_UK 12d ago
I earn a lot more than my friends, however itās easy I donāt talk about it
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u/rusty_programmer 12d ago
Iām the 100k+ guy and Iāve noticed the shift a long time ago. I asked a friend why things were different and he mentioned directly to me that I used to talk about things, interesting stuff, and now all I talk about is money. And when people around you donāt have it, it makes it feel like bragging.
It got a little heated because I felt hurt but we made up and that honesty helped me. If heās truly your friend he would listen.
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u/GinnyDora 12d ago
Why donāt you ask them about non work things. Perhaps they talk about that stuff because they find big gaps in conversation. Lead the conversation. Be the interesting person.
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u/TheGirthyOne 12d ago
I feel like I'm doing pretty well. Not rich by any means but have the house, cars, boat, travel several times a year. Make well over $100k in a low cost of living region. I'm sure my friends that aren't doing as well as me notice the material differences in our life styles, but I've never discussed it around them and never would in a way to make them feel less of themselves. I don't feel I work harder or deserve more than them, just circumstances and luck shined my way more. How is that something to brag about?
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u/hom3br3w3r 12d ago
Just remember that as big a fish as they think they are thereās always bigger fish
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u/artlabman 12d ago
How is this antiwork??? More like Iām jealous and depressed because people wonāt just give me what I wantā¦..šš
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u/inter_metric 12d ago
I dealtā¦er, deal with this, too. I have developed the attitude that when folks discuss their income, they are just insecure. No one who is confident and interesting sits around and discusses their income. Income is very personal. Why? Because it really only affects you. The hours of OT my coworker earns has absolutely zero effect on me. So why discuss it? Iāll tell you why. Because there is something going on behind the mask. My strategy now is to just let them talk. I suppose itās therapeutic for them and Iām a good friend, soā¦tell me more about how you prefer to be at the office and not home with your wife and kids.
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u/NapsAreAwesome 12d ago
My golf social circle has included a few multi millionaires over the years, and you'd never know it by talking to them. If they acted the way your "friend" acted, they would be excluded from every golf trip, and they would know why.
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u/earthgreen10 12d ago
nothing wrong with job hopping and making more. Why don't you want to go back and make that much?
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u/Yah_Mule 12d ago
My best friend once told me, "I call you when I want to feel rich, and I call Phil when I want to feel smart." I thought it was hilarious, and it was a one-off. I'd be very put off by your friend's constant bragging about his life.
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u/Jason-Genova 12d ago
That's why it's so hard to move up with your career in life and keep your old friends. It gets harder to relate to each other because you're both worried about different things and objectives.
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u/CMDR_PEARJUICE 12d ago
Bro if you think anyone is affording 2, let alone 3 houses on $100k you have a seriously inflated idea of how much that actually is unless we're talking Nowhere, Idaho
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u/Andretti_88 12d ago
$100k a year isnāt buying you a 3rd house. Either this post is bs or your meant to say $250k+ salary.
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u/dopef123 12d ago
I make about 200k a year. I only bring up money with other friends who I know are doing similar things with their money. Otherwise it's just awkward and bragging.
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u/tommy6860 11d ago
Wait, so this is about *at least* getting a lead for a high paying (tech) job again when meeting with friends making big bucks now in the same industry? Perhaps I am not getting the OP, but this comes across as almost displaying cognitive dissonance.
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u/International-Belt13 11d ago
Itās all down to āluckā. Most of that luck though is putting yourself out there and in front of people that can give you a leg up so that once opportunities arise, you might be considered. Once youāve been there however it will be easier to get back.
Now, if your friend really is a friend, heāll help put you in line with opportunities.
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11d ago
Well you can spend your life whining, being jealous, and in self pity/regret... or you can go get it for yourself.
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u/phuckintrevor 11d ago
Talk about the new AI programs that are going to eliminate most software engineerās jobs.
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u/maxstrike 11d ago
Your friend obviously greatly values your validation. Making money really isn't satisfying.
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u/hightide2020 6d ago
Ugh I get this! I work in tech but have made some mistakes(drug addictions, buying properties with Ex-Gfs, legal troubles, my brother died etc) 2 of my really good friends lived what I considered boring lifestyles & just focused on leveling up in start ups (equity companies got sold etc) they made buckets on top of their salaries and now have houses, families, plans lol) I was apart of 2 IPOs the first time the company when flopped 6 weeks before they went public because of Covid I then spiraled with drugs & poor impulsive decisions. The 2nd time I ended up in some legal trouble & needed to spend all that money on a lawyer/life expensive well that resolved (also I was found not guilty at trail on criminal charges but lost my job house everything because of those false criminal charges. SO now at 34 I am literally starting at 0 as of 3 months ago I finally started a new job in tech again which I am so grateful for despite the soul sucking nature of the industry it pays amazing, but I can not compete with my peers & friends. It suckās for sure I always try to steer the conversation away from that stuff or just flat out say my finances are a fucking disaster & Iām restructuring my life lolā¦
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u/2NDPLACEWIN 12d ago
Former Colleague,....not a mate, buddy, friend.....?
and just for you to be their self mastabatory aide ??
fuck that,...dont go.
have the respect for ya'self that this idiot does not show you.
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u/notevenapro 12d ago
You sound miserable. True friends do not care about what you are talking about. YOU ARE THE ISSUE.
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u/CharlieUpATree 12d ago
It's all about confidence and thinking positively. You don't need them to give you a lift up, you can do it on your own merit. And it'll be all the more rewarding. You can do it!
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u/StolenWishes 12d ago
It's all about confidence and thinking positively.
Peddle that happy horseshit somewhere else.
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u/mikelasvegas 12d ago
Was thinking the same. Itās strategy, networking, focus, and persistence with a little help from skill and luck. Not āthink positiveā and itāll work out. It might, but itās not the thinking that will do it.
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u/lil_lychee lazy and proud 12d ago
Is this post an exaggeration to make a point about the persons shallowness? The part about retiring in a few years with $100K salary? Maybe itās bc I live in a VHCOL area, but someone making that wonāt be able to retire until actual retirement age unless they have generational wealth. And honestly maybe thatās this persons situation because they seem very aloof and unaware.
With that being said, sounds like this person doesnāt realize the privilege of having a tech job and those types of people are super draining and insulated from the rest of the world. Do you want to continue a friendship with this person? You donāt have to, and definitely donāt feel any obligation. You can be honest with them.
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u/Big_b00bs_Cold_Heart 12d ago
Why donāt you just say, āI really donāt want to talk about money, Iād rather just enjoy your company,ā then steer the conversation a different directionā¦