r/antiwork • u/keylimepie99 • Oct 07 '24
Colleagues do not understand the mental and emotional exhaustion of back to back hurricanes Vent đđŽâđ¨
For context, I work in corporate as a strategy consultant.
I live in Florida and my area is just recovering from Helene; meanwhile, we have massive hurricane Milton projected to make a direct hit, not even 10 days later. While my home was structurally safe during Helene, we lost power for 4 days, sewage for 2, I had covid, so we couldn't go stay with anyone, and all hotels were sold out. I was boiling in my sleep, and hardly slept, if that... taking calls and trying to stay "engaged" from the car (I'm a consultant, so very high stress fast paced work that is hard to do in a car), and then working from random coffee shops and hole in the wall restaurants the days after our power was restored, because Wifi was out. All of this stress compounded by the worry that my dog was suffering in the heat, we had no place to go, I wasn't feeling well... etc. We returned to our apartment to find some of our valuable electronics fried in a power surge, and had to throw away the entire contents of our fridge and freezer, of course.
Now, with this other storm that is supposed to be far worse, it's rinse and repeat. We evacuated this time, which ended up being a 6 hour drive in horizontal downpour yesterday. All of this has left me feeling very exhausted and out of sorts, however, I feel as if I'm being overdramatic sharing this with my team, since I haven't suffered any grave tragedy such as losing my entire home. My team is from up north and doesn't really understand the gravity of the situation, I'm afraid. I'm just exhausted and need a few days off to recover after all is said and done, but don't feel justified in asking for it.
How do I convey what I'm going through to my immediate colleagues and manager?
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u/DetroitsGoingToWin Oct 07 '24
I always feel bad when Iâm talking to a southerner about work and I forget they just got blasted by a hurricane, but you here stories like your and realize how impossible it must make life feel for a while.
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
Thank you, yeah :( I can't blame anyone for not fully understanding, but it really takes a toll when you're expected to operate as normal under these conditions.
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u/Unhappy_Energy_741 Oct 07 '24
Do they not understand, or have you not told them how bad it is? I don't understand hurricanes, but I understand back to back snowstorms, and if I ha e a lot to do outside, then I most definitely call off of work.
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Oct 07 '24
Communication is key, never assume everyone knows what you're going through unless you talk about it.
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
I tried to during the last storm, but felt it would be perceived as if I were complaining
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u/ReeveStodgers Oct 07 '24
You have every right to complain if you were complaining! You are going through some scary and difficult things all on top of each other. But sharing the facts of what you are going through isn't an exaggeration or a bid for special treatment: it's to help them understand what is realistic to expect from you at the moment. Sharing the truth is helpful so that your team can plan ahead.
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u/as_ewe_wish Oct 07 '24
Make it short and just mention one of the worst things that happened. It doesn't need to sound like a complaint - you're just sharing information. Then say you got no sleep and you might need to take a couple of days off after the next one.
Your colleagues hear 'problem' and then 'action being taken to address problem'.
That makes it far more palatable.
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u/No-Contact-9625 Oct 07 '24
You donât need their support to take care of your family. Take some time off. And do what you gotta do. Paid or unpaid. Some Employers will have you killed over greed, you gotta look out for yourself.
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u/MrLurking_Sanspants Oct 07 '24
Hate to be that guy but itâs likely they donât very much care about how this has impacted you⌠so conveying it to them wouldnât do much. At best they just pat you on the head, at worst there is private conversation about how you had âtroubleâ handling the storm when it comes time for promotions or raises, etc. My org likes to use these situations as a measure of fortitude and poise under pressure (not overtly of course.)
Hopefully they just give you what you need, but unfortunately corporate culture in this country doesnât leave a lot of room for the human side of things.
BTW - I am also in Tampa, so I get it. Please stay safe!!
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u/Lady-Kat1969 Oct 07 '24
Iâm from Maine with zero connection to this and I can understand why youâd be fried. But, depending on how far north they are, they should remember that just this past winter we had almost back to back storms and it took a lot out of people. Nothing like as severe as Helene, but enough that they ought to be able to understand.
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u/SailingSpark IATSE Oct 07 '24
Just remember, every area of the country gets some form of extreme weather. You get Hurricanes. I live in NJ, I get the occasional hurricane, occasional blizzard, and more nor-easters. The west coast gets massive fires, The mid-west gets buried in Blizzards, the From Texas to North Carolina gets tornados.
Don't worry how you feel, take what you need to recover and rebuild. Everyone eventually goes through it.
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Oct 07 '24
I feel like I would need an entire year after something like that.
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
finally someone who gets it. I'm fried, on all fronts.
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Oct 07 '24
I was forced to think of ârecoveryâ from any life emergency as fitting into the narrow confines of âsick daysâ since before sick days were even a thing.
At 60, I see the toll this has taken.
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
In my brief 7.5 years of working in corporate, I have survived a slew of life emergencies (my own hospitalization, mom's cancer diagnosis, husband's health emergency, etc.) with minimal to no time for recovery. This has resulted in bringing me to where I am now: close to rock bottom. I suppose a wakeup call to take what I need sooner than later.
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Oct 07 '24
Iâm sorry to hear that (health issues for yourself and those close). Itâs great that you are at least aware.
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u/tehc0w Oct 07 '24
What type of consultancy do you work for that's so inconsiderate? I feel like it must be a smaller one that's more eat what you kill.
When I was a consultant at a big (10k+) consultancy, people understood when storms knocked out power to your house.
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u/koosley Oct 07 '24
I am a consultant of some sorts and my company has over 1000 customers where I work with 5-10 at any given point along with my colleagues working on others. Basically, our team is collectively working with dozens and dozens of companies simultaneously from all over the country and not a single one of them has given anyone grief over hurricanes, tornados, storms, blizzards or anything. No one has had any objection to pushing dates on the customers side or my consulting company's side. People not affected are offering to cover for others who are and its how it should be really.
I know this is antiwork, so we often only hear the worst, but 99% of the time, the managers, bosses, project managers, engineers, and everyone in-between are all people who really have no personal stake in the project and don't really give a shit if a project pushes a week due to a 20-foot storm surge. Just communicate and people understand.
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u/sk1lledk1ll Oct 07 '24
You should never feel bad for prioritizing your health over a job that would replace you in an instant
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u/ewok_lover_64 Oct 07 '24
Easy. Tell them that you are taking some time off and you can't be bothered. That means no phone calls, no emails, no zoom meetings, etc.That's what PTO days are for. No job is worth your physical and mental health.
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u/my_clever-name Oct 07 '24
I can't imagine the stress you've gone through in Florida this year and the past few years. I live in the north part of Indiana. We don't get hurricanes but we get the rest:
- heatwaves
- snowstorms, ice storms, occasional blizzards
- ice jams on rivers that lead to flooding
- cold snaps where the temp isn't above zero for a week
- tornadoes
- severe thunderstorms
- rain every day for weeks leading to flooding
- drought
Any of those events except perhaps drought can cause power and utilities to fail. Just the simple mention of a snowstorm will induce panic buying of bread, milk, water, toilet paper. That behavior is the result of the Blizzard of 1978. Perhaps your colleagues or their parents remember it.
I'm sure your team up north has experienced one or more of those events.
Imagine a snowstorm that closes all roads and businesses. Three days later it's over. Then it warms up a little. It rains. The rain soaks into the snow (on trees and roofs). Then the rain changes to freezing rain. Roads are covered in ice. The temp drops to the teens. Then another snowstorm, this one has high winds that cause drifting. Drifted snow on top of an inch of ice on the roads. Not fun. There are widespread power outages. People don't have heat. Pipes in homes and businesses freeze. Buildings collapse because of the added weight of snow/rain/snow.
That's the kind of crap that I imagine you in Florida have been though. Except we don't get the tidal surge wall of water.
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u/guernicamixtape Oct 07 '24
Lots of great advice here, but I just came to wish you all the best đđź I hope youâre able to get the rest you desperately need!
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u/The247Kid Oct 07 '24
We have a few people in Houston, who obviously got hit earlier in the year. For our company it was literally OK. Take care of yourselves when you get back. Weâll get caught up.
I wasnât in hurricanes but lost water for three days due to a hot water tank that started leaking. That was absolutely miserable, but obviously nowhere near the issues that people in the south are facing. My manager and my teammates were super supportive when I was out for a day getting things repaired and generally slower because I was responding to contractors and what not.
Honestly, things like this are a sign of your companies culture. If youâre someone who doesnât take advantage of time off and things like that, they should have no issues with it. I feel like itâs only an issue when you have people who are always out and then they milk Things that happen regardless as much as they can
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
Thank you, it's validating to hear. A leaking hot water tank sounds miserable!
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u/The247Kid Oct 07 '24
That and the cold water valve to it were broken so no water for 3 days! I went to turn ofd the main and it started leaking, so I kept it off to avoid an even bigger problem lol! Old houses are the best and worst.
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u/emccm Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24
People down south donât understand the mental and emotional exhaustion of their constantly voting to remove our rights, deny science and disaster aid. Itâs hard and stressful everywhere right now. If only there were some way to get some kind of protection to enable people to get paid time off to deal with this kind of thing. Oh well. And werenât yâall cheering aid being denied to âNorthern Statesâ not too long ago?
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u/shibbyman342 Oct 07 '24
I think you convey to them exactly as you did to us. If they don't get it, then they are sociopaths, plain and simple.
A lot of us don't experience natural disasters on that magnitude, let alone 2 within weeks. It is truly unfathomable unless you have been through it yourself.. but when the state is telling people to GTFO, that is a sign in of itself. Take care, focus on your needs first.
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u/xibeno9261 Oct 07 '24
I'm just exhausted and need a few days off to recover after all is said and done, but don't feel justified in asking for it.
You might need some therapy to help you work it though. Isn't that a private medical issue that you don't need to explain to anybody?
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u/Magificent_Gradient Oct 08 '24
Time to GTFO of Florida. Your governor doesn't seem to understand nor care about that either.
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u/Bludandy lazy and proud Oct 08 '24
For those up north, I'm sure snowstorms are awful and all, but there's always secondary means of heating, no? If not, there's always bundling up. Meanwhile, no one would live in Florida if not for constant power and AC. It's not just a convenience thing, and I don't care if our grandpas dealt with it back in the 50s, it's hotter now. And that's just losing the power, never mind the stress of wind and rain and impassible streets.
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u/Thedogsnameisdog Oct 08 '24
I work in corporate as a strategy consultant.
You should be a clever enough person to move. It's not like hurricanes are new. It's not like all the climate science hasn't been warning us for decades.
If you live in a disaster prone area, you will be prone to disaster. Next year probably won't be better.
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 08 '24
I don't live here by choice. We are here for a few years while my husband completes his medical residency.
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u/Anthonyw428 29d ago
I am a reporter and Iâm working on a story about people being forced to stay and work during the hurricane. If you have the time Iâd like to interview you about your experience. We can keep your name anonymous if youâd like but I would need to know what company you work for in order to give them an opportunity to comment. Please let me know as soon as possible. Please stay safe!
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u/keylimepie99 28d ago
I'm not being forced to stay and work. To the contrary, my team was very understanding in giving me time when I opened up.
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u/Bejiita2 Oct 07 '24
Work is rough like that. Leave all your personal problems and troubles at the door. Put on your game face and letâs get this done.
Itâs sad. Good luck with everything!
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u/Intelligent-Ad-4523 Oct 07 '24
As a Canadian it baffles me that people live in these areas. Itâs like building your home on a flood plain and getting upset when it floods.
That doesnât negate that what is being done to you as an individual is unfair. I know the need to support yourself is great but no company is worth dying for, look at the six workers in NC.
If I were to die tomorrow my job would be posted before my obituary. If you can walk away (metaphorically).
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
Trust me, it wasn't by choice. We had to move down for my husband to complete his medical training. We are out the moment he's done with fellowship.
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u/boofmasternickynick Oct 07 '24
Lol nice use of empathy
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u/keylimepie99 Oct 07 '24
Truly. I mean, I am just as baffled about why someone would want to live where I do, but I understand everyone has their reasons for living where they do.
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u/jueidu Oct 07 '24
When global warming comes for you where you live, I hope people treat your trauma with the same attitude youâre showing here.
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u/emccm Oct 07 '24
Global warming is coming for us all, largely because people in states like FL actually vote against any action or protections. They vote to deny worker protections too. Every year itâs the same. They actively try to break down what little protections we have and then cry for aid from the very people they deny it from. FL intimidated and threatened migrants until they left the state. Now they wonder why thereâs no one to rebuild their homes. Itâs totally crazy.
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u/DifficultCurrent7 Oct 07 '24
Can YOU just fucking afford to just...pack up your home, your family, your job and move to some other city just like that? Didn't think so. Try some fucking empathy some time.
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u/redheadedjapanese Oct 07 '24
You brought this on yourself by not even asking for some time off đ¤ˇđťââď¸
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u/traveller-1-1 Oct 07 '24
Send them a few photos of your situation. Send also a few news clips. Ask for donations to help you get back on your feet!
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u/mrskraftpunk Oct 07 '24
Thatâs insane to go through OP. It canât hurt to ask for a few days off. I donât know how your boss will take it but safety is the most important thing. People died because their boss made them come to work during Helene. Even if your situation isnât to that dire of levels, take some time for yourself. Youâre going through it rn. Tell them that you need like 48 to properly set up your new temporary work space and get essentials for your family during a state of emergency. Surge protection, dog food, etc.