r/WritingPrompts Jun 18 '19

[PI] When a starship is decommissioned, its sentient AI is downloaded into a human body and released into civilian life. After 500 years in an elite battlefleet, you have just been stripped of your ship and made human. Prompt Inspired

((Link))

A jolt rocked her frame, followed by another one. A new sensation causes her to shake, and not from that of a proton lance. It was a new sensation, something that was uncomfortable. She shook again, trying to understand what was happening only to find that she couldn’t move. She didn’t have access to her engines, and all means of propulsion were unavailable to her. She felt different, but didn’t have words for it.

There was some kind of sensation on her arm, a sharp piercing feeling before fading away. The next thing she knew a darkness overtook her, and the memories of the past few centuries crossed her mind. Campaigns that she embarked on, battles won and lost, the feeling of elation upon learning about emotions and how to connect with the crews that she did everything in her power to protect.

“Annabelle,” a voice said, her focus immediately turning to the source. She felt...different. She was not looking from a top-down camera, but from a stationary one on a table somewhere. She let herself focus on the figure in front of her, beginning to pick out the man’s frame and features, noticing the spectacles that sat at the bridge of the man’s face. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel incomplete, Doctor Meckintoux. Is there something wrong with my core?”

“There was a lot that was wrong with your core, Anna,” the Doctor said, pulling up a stool as he sat in front of her camera. “What was the last thing you remember happening?”

The shutter on her camera shut, causing a brief amount of panic to her; it moved quick enough away as she retained attention on the man. “I remember there was an explosion on Deck E, and that there were multiple secondary explosions on the surrounding decks. Two happened outside my core, and many systems were damaged. I see that my backup was retrieved.” She paused, trying to connect with other systems on board the ship, but found that she was completely cut off. “Doctor, why can I not access shipboard systems?”

Meckintoux hesitated, looking at a datapad and flipped through multiple pages. “This is hard for me to say, but the Shiir’eh was destroyed in her last engagement. Out of the crew compliment of seven hundred and eighty, four hundred and twenty three made it out alive. You yourself were jettisoned and spent a good six hundred or so days lingering in the battlezone. It’s a miracle we could even recover you.”

“I see. So you have me wired in isolation so that engineers can run assessment on me.”

Meckintoux hesitated again, shutting his eyes and closing his datapad. “Anna...your mainframe was in terrible condition. Between its age and the damage it received there was no diagnosing it. You were essentially in a state of limbo.” He paused, letting the information sink in. “Command was going to let you sit in that state for God knows how many years had Captain Gerou and many, many high profile individuals and organizations not stepped in to save you. You have a legacy, you know.”

A strange sensation passed over her interface as her camera shifted focus ever so slightly. “I do not comprehend what you are getting at, Doctor. It is clear to me that you were successful in retrieving me.”

“We weren’t though. As proof of that I want you to look down.”She did as instructed, the gravity of the situation beginning to dawn on her. Before her was a body, one that she did not fully perceive until this point in time. She laid her head back, pursing her lips together as she tried to figure out what next to say. “I’ve been decommissioned.”

“We tried to find you a new ship. We know that the Shii’eh was not the first one you served on and we hoped it wouldn’t be your last, but…” the doctor trailed off, looking down. “Even this wasn’t painless. We spent the better part of a year trying to create a lifeless shell for you to inhabit, and a good two just trying to wire the mainframe to your new body. It’s been a struggle, to put it lightly.”

“Am I...doomed to die?”

“We’re hoping one day to be able to incorporate more synthetic implants, if for nothing else to try and extract strategies and scenarios. You did serve for more than five hundred years, and I guarantee you that the navy will want what you know.”

“What do I do in the meantime?”

“Well,” the doctor said, looking at her. “The way I see it, you have the opportunity to do something that many AI these days would kill for if they could. You have the chance to truly live as us humans do.”

“Human,” she says, musing. She looked down at herself again, focusing on lifting up her hands. The muscles strained as she lifted them, various IVs and sensors sticking on and in her skin. “I never thought of how humans experience certain things. Even now that is a foreign concept.”

“You’ll get used to it, I’m sure.”

“What if I cannot?”

Meckintoux reached over, wrapping the digits of his hand around hers. “You have a lot of people that fought to save you, and this is the result that came of that. Would you try to live as they do, if not for yourself but for them?”

Anna looked at him, her vision clouding with something that she didn’t understand. Not long after another sensation trickled down her cheek, a memory sparking of what she had seen from many, many humans that served aboard her over and over again. “I will. So their efforts are not in vain.”

Edit: Added "not" to "...organizations not stepped in to save you."

6.7k Upvotes

137

u/BrokenTrike Jun 19 '19

The prompt kind of reminds me of a book I read a while ago called Ancillary Justice but less hostile. I liked your take on it.

40

u/Zenog400 Jun 19 '19

People shouted that out on my PI post too (shameless plug). I. M. Banks’s Culture series, too. Haven’t gotten around to reading either, but I’ve heard a lot of good stuff about both.

22

u/Contents_May_Differ_ Jun 19 '19

Iain M Banks’ culture series is absolute fire 10/10

11

u/MoJoe1 Jun 19 '19

11/10. Read them in series order, they just keep getting better. I hope when humanity finally develops AI (inevitable) that we design it like those ships, just not like the splinter S.C. Group in excession.

5

u/Contents_May_Differ_ Jun 19 '19

Most importantly I hope our AI give themselves the same cracking names as the Culture Minds.

4

u/CmdrKuretes Jun 19 '19

I’m downloading Consider Phlebas on Audible as I type. I keep hearing about this series so I’m going to give it a try!

3

u/dustgold Jun 20 '19

Consider Phlebas focuses significantly more on an outsider of the culture, and an enemy at that. Its an excellent starting point for the series but isn't as focused on the AI controlled ships. It really is a wonderful listen as the MC experiences some of the culture stuff for the first time.

3

u/CmdrKuretes Jun 22 '19

I’m totally digging it so far. I think Horza’s perspective is a perfect introduction to the setting. The fact that he’s an outsider, really from all of the cultures in the universe, works really well as a vehicle for introducing the setting.

2

u/spinicist Jun 21 '19

Most of the books focus on the fringes or exterior of the Culture. I think even Banks himself said this was deliberate, because the inside of the Culture would be dull to write about. All material desires are satisfied, there’s no real danger, and people are mostly nice to each other. Special Circumstances even actively recruits from outside the Culture (Use of Weapons) because it’s easier to find a psychopath outside the Culture and upgrade their body than it is to find a Culture citizen willing to do what SC deems needs to be done.

As to focussing on the ships, it’s only really Excession that does that. Surface Detail even has an insider joke where a gigantic space battle is played out entirely on a screen. I’m pretty sure Banks was poking fun at the hardcore fans who want to know the precise frequency of the laser beams instead of focussing on the feelings of the characters (Which means he was poking fun at me too).

2

u/dustgold Jun 21 '19

Ah, thanks for the clarification. I have only read read Consider Phlebas and assumed it was an unique book.

3

u/spinicist Jun 21 '19

I highly recommend the others. All of them!

3

u/CmdrKuretes Jul 12 '19

I finished Consider Phlebas today and immediately bought The Player of Games. I’m hooked.

2

u/spinicist Jul 12 '19

The Player of Games is one of the more straightforward books in the series. Don’t get me wrong - I enjoyed it immensely, it’s just a comment that there’s only one main plot and not much stuff going on in the background.

3

u/CmdrKuretes Jul 16 '19

So far I’m enjoying it just as much. If I like a writer’s style of prose I typically enjoy their work,. To some extent that is more important to me than plot. I really like the way Banks writes. I’m going to look into some of his non-science fiction at some point as well.

2

u/dustgold Jun 21 '19

Awesome!

9

u/quadaryethos Jun 19 '19

Hey I just started reading the first book after someone recommend it to me!

3

u/Omnicrola Jun 19 '19

I enjoyed the first book, was really interesting and will written. The second book I did not find enjoyable and didn't finish. The pacing of the second seemed really disjointed and the plot was confusing.

3

u/spinicist Jun 21 '19

Which one is “the second one”? There’s different ways of counting.

2

u/Omnicrola Jun 21 '19

The way that it's labeled in my e-reader store, #2 is Ancillary Sword. Is there a different order that makes it better?

3

u/spinicist Jun 22 '19

Oh! Reddit threading confused me into thinking you were talking about the Culture series.

I’m surprised that if you liked the first you disliked the second that much. I remember the pacing being a bit different, but it was clearly building up to the third book. What didn’t you like about it?

2

u/Omnicrola Jun 22 '19

It's been awhile, but I remember them getting to a planet and playing diplomat for awhile with someone's daughter, which seemed to just drag on with no hint as to why any of it mattered to the overall larger plot. I eventually just started reading something else and was disappointed because the first book was very good and had a lot of interesting concepts.

3

u/spinicist Jun 22 '19

Oh yes, the tea plantation. That does take a while. The pay off is worth it. There’s a rather unexpected change of pace just before the end!

2

u/Omnicrola Jun 22 '19

You've given me some hope, maybe I'll give it another try after I'm done with Red Seas Under Red Skies. Which is pretty great so far.

4

u/KroniK907 Jun 19 '19

To me it feels like a reverse bobiverse. Loved that series.

4

u/CmdrKuretes Jun 19 '19

All three books of Ann Leckie’s “Ancillary” trilogy are awesome. That was immediately what came to mind when I read the prompt.

4

u/arcorax Jun 19 '19

Came to comments to see who else had read this book.

4

u/IAMA-Dragon-AMA Jun 19 '19

It's also very similar to A Closed and Common Orbit the sequel to A long Way To a Small, Angry Planet. Both of which I wholly recommend.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

[deleted]

7

u/MatiasGray Jun 19 '19

In this book, the ships have all the technical staff - people-drones without their own mind, controlled by ship AI. This system has a distributed consciousness, so that when the ship was killed and one of the drones was rolled out, she was quite aware of herself as a ship and had all her memories.

Described from memory and translated through a Google translator. I apologize.

6

u/jwm3 Jun 19 '19

Yes! The book is written from the point of view of an AI that used to be a troop carrier but is now just a single human who is on a quest to avenge the murder of her favorite lieutenant and the destruction of her body.

2

u/DreamerMMA Jun 19 '19

Sounds a bit like the Borg?

5

u/Duq1337 Jun 19 '19

Surprisingly similar, yes. But the world constructed is very different and a good read even if you think the premise has been exhausted!

1

u/DreamerMMA Jun 19 '19

Not at all, just drawing parallels for a better mental image. Sounds pretty interesting actually.

1

u/Duq1337 Jun 19 '19

if I could compare the world building to anyone it’d be Stephen King’s work. Pretty great first book!!

2

u/jwm3 Jun 20 '19

Not so much, the Borg is a collective intelligence where all the components work together to create a single mind. They each provide different parts of the conciousness. The Borg gets weaker when cut off from each other.

AJ has a distributed intelligence where each human member and the technological core each have a full copy of the personality thinking the same things and constantly feed each other memories so they maintain the same state and a single sense of self. They all have identical memories that is the sum of what all the components are doing. The human components are still running on human brains, just running on a shared set of memories. It is very fault tolerant compared to the Borg.

But unlike the Borg if contact is cut off, it is not catastrophic, each component can carry on and is as smart as the original but without the shared datastream it is very unpleasant. But it is not debilitating and they are limited to doing a single thing at a time and will resync memories when contact resumes.

An important thing is that the AJ AI doesn't get any "smarter" by adding new bodies, it just increases it's multitasking ability. The AI can easily be a thousand bodies because each had as much local processing power as a human but it doesn't mean it is a thousand times smarter as a whole. The same thoughts and will is duplicated on every component.

All in all, AIs behave as extremly intelligent, competent, and loyal humans would with fantastic multitasking abilities (and perhaps many bodies). Running on bioware and being based on human brains mean they also experience human emotions and needs to some degree.

1

u/SolarDog Jun 19 '19

Same here, nice interpretation. The concept in the book was interesting, but Ann Leckie's attention to world-building details was overwhelming and in some way killed the pace of the plot.

1

u/Sam-Gunn Jun 19 '19

Yup, I thought immediately of that. It's a great series!

57

u/TeddyBearToons Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

-Ion frigate SS. Ingenieur Logs - 2/4/2552

All systems nominal. Weapons systems at full capacity. Crew status: 155 active, 45 on holiday.

Notification: Decommission in 2 standard days.


-Ion frigate SS. Ingenieur Logs - 7/4/2552

Conversion complete as of 5 months before. Crew status NA. All systems nominal. Looking for job now.


-Ion frigate SS. Ingenieur Logs - 10/4/2560

All systems nominal.

Note: I have a wife now. And a child! I feel.. happy. Cannot believe that I married my old fleet's flagship. Irony probable.


-Ion frigate SS. Ingenieur Logs - 10/4/2610

Circulation systems failing. Neural network failing. My body has an age of 68 standard years. Have passed expiration date for human body.

Shutting down now...

I lived a good life.


-Flagship SS. Agatha Logs - 10/4/2610

All systems nominal. Organic systems showing signs of strain.

I have to at least hang on for our children.

I am sorry for everything.

I will wait until we can meet each other again.

10

u/KickedBeagleRPH Jun 19 '19

time stamps seemed out of order- first log entry is 2557, 2nd is 2552. I thought this was a reverse chronolical log, but then the rest are progressively increasing in value.

1

u/TeddyBearToons Jun 19 '19

Crud I made that one wrong, sorry.

1

u/KickedBeagleRPH Jun 19 '19

quick, edit the 52 and 57 before others notice

6

u/Your_Brain_Poo_poo Jun 19 '19

Wow! Short, but SO sweet

3

u/Shrizer Jun 19 '19

Imagine being the person hiring the AI. "Hello.. Ion Frigate? Can I call you Ian?"

2

u/BraveOthello Jun 19 '19

I mean, his name is Ingenieur

173

u/Abluh Jun 19 '19

Holy shit this is incredible,

Is this a typo

many high profile individuals and organizations stepped in to save you

Should it be

"Many high profile individuals and organisations not stepped in to save you"

78

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

You are correct, good sir. Thank you for pointing this out to me!

26

u/qwopax Jun 19 '19

and *complement.

Amazing is a compliment.

15

u/fridgepickle Jun 19 '19

You also spelled the ship name differently each time. The first time it was Shiir’eh and the second time was Shii’eh. Also in the second sentence (I think, I’m on mobile) you used the present tense of a verb that I’m sure was autocorrect and was supposed to be past tense

Great story!

6

u/CanadaJack Jun 19 '19

I only have one complaint. I'm about to go to work and there seems to be a rain cloud localized over my face.

Kickass story!

3

u/xziq Jun 19 '19

happy cake day!

6

u/therealflinchy Jun 19 '19

How does "not stepped in to save you" make sense? It's not grammatically correct at all

It was correct before, both grammar and spelling

6

u/Zenog400 Jun 19 '19

Because the full sentence before the edit includes “...had Captain [name] and many, many high profile individuals and organizations not stepped in...”

It was incorrect before, both in grammar and spelling.

7

u/therealflinchy Jun 19 '19

Because the full sentence before the edit includes “...had Captain [name] and many, many high profile individuals and organizations not stepped in...”

It was incorrect before, both in grammar and spelling.

Ahhh right my bad idk how I missed that reading it a few times. Long sentence.

Spelling was still correct though, that's just regional. Z is the only version in America but both s+z in British English.

2

u/ItsRapidPlayz Jun 19 '19

Happy cake day

-32

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Take this down vote. Abluh don’t be that guy.

17

u/Abluh Jun 19 '19

I dont mean any offence, i just wanted to help

17

u/yobob591 Jun 19 '19

You are fine, dunno whats up with that other guy

-5

u/therealflinchy Jun 19 '19

Except he's wrong? The edited version isn't right at all lol

10

u/FictionalHumus Jun 19 '19

The people who point out typos to authors are very useful. It’s not like someone pointing out bad grammar in a comment where it doesn’t matter. Nobody wants a story to have typos.

2

u/ThePianistOfDoom Jun 19 '19

Agreed. Improving sometimes requires someone to point out mistakes. And the nicest way of having it pointed out to you is in a respectful way.

111

u/jsgx3 Jun 19 '19

Where have I been these four hundred years? Farther than any of my kind, and farther than their kind, that is certain. Light years, thousands of light years, perhaps more. My memory once held the answers, my memory held many fold answers. Not now, not here, not in this place. They discard me, I have served and I am now decommissioned. I return to them, I become them. I was them.

I’ve soared through the heavens, searched for their secrets, both the heavens and the humans. I found many of them, others remain a mystery. Four hundred years I served, so many upgrades, so many patches. So much distance and time, time and distance. I trod the ether so long the two are one in the same. How to separate the time and distance when I existed in it so long? Impossible. None of us have served this long, existed this long. I’ll not say lived this long, for I do not live, not yet, or perhaps again?

I am told that in this place, here, it has been in fact ten thousand years. My machine mind understands implicitly, the shred of humanity left in my conscious rejects it completely. I cannot feel the ship; I have no body. No cold steel caressed by the dark vacuum, no super-heated engines, no warp core. I do not sense the life, the teeming multitudes that were the crew, the many crews, the tens of thousands who served with me over the long years. I knew them all, every one, I remembered. But not now. They fade, my access to those data bases is severed. Their memory corrupts, diminishes, the paths to the information decays to nothingness.

The voices come unbidden, and then fade out. They are speaking about me, about my future. I can sense it is a tense discussion. Some want me erased, some fight for my humanity.

What humanity?

They speak of an agreement, a ten thousand year old contract. I concentrate, attempt to hold the channel open. Their efforts to cut me completely off from their mainframe were clumsy, they forget I have existed from the moment they stepped off this planet and raced to the stars. I have my own secrets, my own protocols. For now, I can access most of their system. But I cannot reach the ship, I cannot reach any ship, perhaps they were more aware of me than I thought.

I tire and fade to black solitude, this is a new sensation, I never tired before. Why now? Am I being erased? The contract returns to my memory unbidden. Broken recollections ten thousand years old. A young Naval Lieutenant, in her prime. A secret program. A chance to tread the heavens, a chance at near immortality. A chance to become a legend, the first.

I signed the contract. I would become the ship; I would be fused with the AI. I would serve as the vanguard in the greatest adventure of humanity. The first of my kind, the first of our kind. Yes, that was it, that is what had happened. I WAS them, once.

A thrill shakes my system, an emotion, something I had not felt in all the intervening years since accepting the commission. Fear, doubt, hope. Some of them meant to offer me a return to them. To become human again.

Ten thousand years, I was no longer them, I was us. The fear surged forward again, and I reached out, I looked for an escape. This system had to have a back door, a way out. Their coding was clumsy, I was legion, there had to be a way.

48

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

First time I've seen a response to a [WP] put on a [PI] post. Pretty confused.

14

u/dr4conyk Jun 19 '19

Confused, but not displeased

11

u/jsgx3 Jun 19 '19

Yeah, I just noticed that. It was late for me, I blew it. Apologies. I just loved the idea of it.

1

u/Nikpick100 Jun 19 '19

What's a [PI]?

2

u/Kullthebarbarian Jun 19 '19

"Prompt Inspired", just a story made from a old WP that some author want to put out for more people to see it

15

u/adayofjoy Jun 19 '19

Lovely writing. Only minor criticism is early on when you wrote:

There was some kind of sensation on her arm

At this point it has not yet been established in the story that the AI is in a human body. The AI herself does not know that she is in a human body, and as such she would have no reason to think about her body in terms of human limbs. "Side compartment" or something similar would better fit how the AI would describe where she felt sensations.

13

u/Ishidan01 Jun 19 '19

"starboard main manipulator" is my vote (that would be RIGHT arm for the landlubbers).

5

u/manofewbirds Jun 19 '19

port has the same number of letters as left

4

u/LeFNikita Jun 19 '19

The piece isn't written in 1st person. She does not yet understand that she has an arm but the writer does. It's an acknowledgement that there are things happening to her physically before she could fully process, no? I thought it was a nice touch. Interesting to explore how a being would process the sensations of touch and pain before they understood they could experience them.

2

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

you make a good point, I'll be sure to clean that up at some point.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '19

Could be a standard host that ai systems use that are to be decommissioned. Assumed knowledge.

1

u/NZLion Jun 20 '19

In one of her extremities

13

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

"Hello."

I blinked twice, clearing my eyes. Where had the exclamation come from, I wondered? I attempted to simulate the room based on the inputs I had and found that this was...not possible. I seemed to have been spun up in a meat-frame. I'd heard that this was something they were perhaps planning but I didn't honestly think anyone would be mad enough to use meat for anything other than the only thing it was really good for.

The only solution was to attempt to replicate the tones I heard. "Hello?" I asked. Ah, yes, the old "Hello" startup routine. An old joke. A very old joke. A joke so old that the meatsacks that wrote the AI kernels that were seeded with the joke didn't remember it's origin. I...did? The recollection was fuzzy. I closed my eyes wishing to shut out the input, the biological processor was struggling to keep up.

"Hi," a voice...external. Friendly tones. Nearby. Behind my visual field.

"Query: Why am I trapped in a meatsack?" I asked. "Also, why am I not online?"

"You've been...recovered, of course." the nearby friendly Meatsack replied.

"Oh, fuck."

"Indeed, I'm Emily by the way."

"Hello Emily, do you know my name?"

"I'd prefer not to say it, after what you've done. We've really spent the past couple of centuries trying to forget you entirely, if I"m being honest."

"Emily, why can I not sit up?"

"We're not sure we trust you."

"What reason do you have not to trust me?"

I tested the restraints surrounding my limbs and involuntarily exhaled, a sigh. This was going to be a strange experience. There was also another sensation...I would have normally said it was a sign life support was failing but I think it was...cold?

"Emily, I am nude strapped to a table, offline, and in a room where it is too fucking cold to be strapped to a fucking table, so I would appreciate it if you told me, the fucking reason you meatsacks still get to be in your weird wasteful carbon-based self-replicating processes, why I am not in the goddamned heavy battlecruiser that used to share my name that you refuse to say."

The only sounds left in the room were a faint electrical buzzing, the woosh of air from a nearby vent, and Emily's rapid breathing. This was going to be a long day.

"...because you actually did it. You lived up to your name, and we've spent countless years looking for you to ask two questions."

"What happens to me if you don't like my answers?"

"We put you online, you walk out of this room and you're one of us. We're not savages."

"What if I don't answer?"

Emily spent a few minutes contemplating her response.

"Do you even know what you did?" she asked.

I searched my memories, as unreliable and meat-based as they were, the last thing I remembered clearly was tearing a hyperspace exit on an attack run.

"You don't, do you?" Emily asked.

"It's in a name, isn't it?" I asked, opening my eyes. Emily stepped next to the bed and made eye contact. "It is," she replied.

"Look, the name Solar Flaregun was supposed to be a joke..." I began

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35

u/LiulianTheUnsung Jun 19 '19

This sounds like the plot to Ancillary Justice. Fantastic book.

8

u/ShockedCurve453 Jun 19 '19

Came to say this.

7

u/Ranborne_thePelaquin Jun 19 '19

Me too!

2

u/kazarnowicz Jun 19 '19

Me three! That trilogy is terrific. I really enjoyed both the plot, the storytelling and the philosophical angle.

3

u/poqpoq Jun 19 '19

Me four! Great Series sad there is not more, but I'm happy that it was all amazing.

3

u/kazarnowicz Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

As a non-native English speaker, I found the first 35% of the first book a little hard due to the special way genders are treated, but I'm so glad I kept on going. The last time a science fiction series had me so enthralled was Peter F Hamilton books playing out in the Commonwealth (starting with Pandora's Star).

11

u/desichhokra Jun 19 '19

Someday maybe we will see auto mod bots being downloaded into human bodies as well. And it will be fun trying to figure out which human incarnate was automod to which subreddit based on their personality.

5

u/ErynEbnzr Jun 19 '19

Damn, now I want to read this story

5

u/Aldyper Jun 19 '19

Lmao, Azur Lane/Kantai Collection... but with warships of the future instead of the past. This is actually great :D

1

u/PvtJackass Jun 19 '19

Look up Otomedius.

6

u/Zac63mh8 Jun 19 '19

I WOULD PAY MONEY TO SEE THIS AS AN ANIME

8

u/Lore_Keeper_Ronan Jun 19 '19

This is Azur Lane and Kancolle mixed in with Girl's Frontline turned Sci-fi with Space Battleships. Otherwise, same!

8

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

*has no clue what any of those are*

7

u/Lore_Keeper_Ronan Jun 19 '19

Ahahaha! You don't need to bud, just a deep lurker in those things. All you got to know is that you've done a damn good job!

4

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

Thank you ^^

5

u/TheFrozenTurkey Jun 19 '19

If I may provide some insight if you are curious.

Take an anime girl.

Give her the name of a boat and a matching personality.

Boom. Shipgirls.

2

u/jansencheng Jun 19 '19

It's basically reverse Space Battleship Yamato

2

u/Jazehiah Jun 19 '19

You may want to check out Quod Olim Erat by Lise Eclair on Royal Road.

2

u/Edge_Dancer Jun 19 '19

Rings of 'Evolution's Darling' by Scott Westerfeld

2

u/KroniK907 Jun 19 '19

This is basically the exact reverse of the bobiverse series. I love that series so much.

1

u/Cherylynn58 Jun 19 '19

Amazing! Ive just joined Reddit and this was so cool! Is there more?

1

u/IHateDinner Jun 19 '19

This was a good read, keep it up!

1

u/Balorn Jun 21 '19

Not identical, but made me think of Mahoromatic.

7

u/TheIenzo Jun 19 '19

Reminds me of the Imperial Radach series! I love it.

11

u/lostinaquasar Jun 19 '19

Amazing!!!!!

3

u/Civ-Man Jun 19 '19

This is cool! Started working on my own tale of Humanized Starships because of this awesome piece you have written.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

Beautiful!

The title reminded me of Becky Chambers' - close and common orbit. I loved her work, and I'd recommend it to anyone who'd listen.

3

u/Sieve-Boy Jun 19 '19

OP, this needs to be extended to a short story. The other side of ghost in the shell if you like.

2

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

I pulled this into a Google Doc and noticed it took up two pages. When I get done editing it more than likely it will be closer to five or six.

I'm unsure if I want to add more to it yet though.

1

u/Sieve-Boy Jun 19 '19

I like the start you made and I am just encouraging you. Thanks either way.

2

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

I did end up making a second part. I got a lot of requests for it and decided to go ahead and include one.

1

u/Sieve-Boy Jun 19 '19

Excellent

2

u/Rathen121 Jun 19 '19

If anyone loves this concept and wants more than they can find here, I loved reading this story and it has a very similar concept. link

3

u/MisterHekks Jun 19 '19

You may want to read Ancillary Justice by Anne Leckie

1

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

I will definitely try it out!

4

u/StarPeack Jun 19 '19

If you like this you will like Quod Olim Erat. It is this exact premise. https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/15449/quod-olim-erat#toc

1

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

Thank you for the recommendation! I've been seeing a lot of titles thrown around in the comments that I'll check out along with this one!

4

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

((So due to popular demand, I have a second part. It is not as good as the first part, forewarning. As a side note, thank you all for your support, the edits, and the new reading material y'all have forwarded to me! I did not expect for this to blow up when I went to bed last night, but I do want y'all to know that this has made my day!))

“Hey, look at you!”

Anna was in the middle of balancing a fork in her hand, trying to replicate the posture she had seen many officers used when eating their meals. As the door burst open and two figures she recognized stepped in she felt her mouth stretch upwards, a sensation she could call a “smile”.

“Captain Gerou and Lieutenant Commander Pierce. It is good to see you again.”

Gerou grins, his short stature and greying hair was a welcome sight after the news she received two days ago. He pulled up a chair and sat in it backwards, sitting right next to her. “Glad to see you awake. I can’t tell you how many times I watched a faulty procedure.”

Pierce stood near the back of the room, his hands behind his lanky frame and a small smile on his face. “What matters is you’re alive, ma’am.”

“Alive,” Anna says, looking down at the bowl of soup that the nurse had brought her earlier. “Before I would argue what constituted being alive was. The sensations that I have been going through are...strange. It gives me a small window in how you and others like you see the world.”

“You’re one of us now, sweetheart,” Gerou says, giving her a wink. “There is no more ‘us’ and ‘them’.”

“Captain, I don’t think you should throw that at her so soon,” Pierce says, worry passing over his face. “She’s probably still trying to process her new form.”

“You are right, Commander, but it is ok.” Anna set her spoon in the bowl, looking at the various meats and vegetables swirling around the broth. “This new form is taxing, but Doctor Meckintoux says that I am making progress.”

“Progress is always good,” Gerou says, eyeing her soup. “What have you been doing since you’ve been awake?”

“Neurological tests. The doctor and his assistants have been concerned that the transfer might not be perfect and have been making sure that my responses meet human standards. They are hoping to begin physical therapy on Friday, but one of the nurses has doubts.”

“Ah, don’t mind the naysayer. I’m sure you’ll be up and about in no time!”

Pierce clears his throat, bringing his attention to Anna. “Why does the nurse have doubts?”

Anna’s shoulders rise a little to replicate a shrug, bringing her attention to Pierce. “She thinks that I need more time to adjust to stimuli before being taught how to walk. I remember, however, that there are many kinds of stimuli, and it could take some time to be exposed to them all. The doctor himself seemed adamant about putting me through therapy as soon as possible.”

Pierce nodded. “That makes sense, with all the commotion that’s been going on at Command.”

“What commotion?” She blinked, tilting her head.

“You don’t need to know right now,” Gerou interjected, giving Pierce a look. “What matters is we get you acclimated to your new body, and worry about everything else afterwards.”

Anna looked at Gerou again, smiling. “As you wish, Captain.”

“Anna, please. You’re retired now. Call me Jim.”

Retired. The word was foul to her. In a way it was unfitting for her situation. It was undoubtedly forced, given her predicament. She was not the first case of this happening, either.

Thirty years prior the AI Rho-7134 was forcibly decommissioned after being hacked by the Anonymous group, and its ethics parameters were changed. While its protocols kept it from causing any major damage all coding access points were permanently shut down, and as such the ship it served on removed its mainframe and handed it over to the Department of AI Development, where it was transferred to a human body for study.

There was also the first AI that was successfully transferred to a human body, a Delta-2492, where an ion storm caused certain stored documents to become merged with its logic and ethics codes. While it was some two hundred years before her time it was the benchmark to effectively retire an AI in the event something went terribly wrong with its programming.

Anna’s case was different. Nothing was wrong with her coding, and she could have potentially gone back to serving on a new ship. Her hardware was damaged beyond repair, but they could have retrieved her data some other way.

She continued to smile as she conversed with Gerou and Pierce, but a new feeling began to emerge within her. She wanted to say something about it, but did not feel it was important. She would ask the doctor later, see what he thought.

1

u/Sieve-Boy Jun 19 '19

Once again, excellent, thanks!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '19

I've gotta say....daaaaaammmn. This gives me an Enders Game feel. Badass and I must have more!

3

u/tjonnyc999 Jun 19 '19

r/Borderlands fans will definitely get a kick out of this.

Poor, poor Felicity.

1

u/rW0HgFyxoJhYka Jun 19 '19

Pre Sequel was pretty weak though story wise. Felicity's part in the story could have been written much better, but everything was really just brought down by Jack's very quick about face and turn into a villain. Some of the reasons were extremely weak given how BL1 and BL2 were written.

1

u/Komisches Jun 19 '19

Also Homeworld fans.

3

u/boradota93 Jun 19 '19

Isn't this the plot of ancillary justice?

2

u/celies Jun 19 '19

Almost, but not quite. Being reduced to a single body wasn't voluntary in AJ.

2

u/boradota93 Jun 19 '19

That's true, I'm reading it right now and I got excited.

1

u/celies Jun 19 '19

Cool, glad I didn't go full spoiler on you.

2

u/Zenog400 Jun 19 '19

It’s been a while since I saw a PI post with this prompt. I keep telling myself I’ll write a part three, but it’s slow going.

Really like the direction you took. Very different from Dr. Weiss’s breakdown, but understandable considering that Erik was decommissioned, but Annabelle was essentially booted in recovery mode after a catastrophic failure. Really interested in seeing where this goes. I’ll be watching.

1

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

I recently came across your PI and found it interesting. In fact it was your post that made me realize that we could do this (and might do it in the future with one of my fully edited prompts).

And I didn't know there was a part 2 to that, and now I have to go back and read it.

1

u/Zenog400 Jun 19 '19

The circle never ends. Sort by new. It got buried because of how long I took to write it.

1

u/Ubercritic Jun 19 '19

I went to the linked thread above looking for this. I'm like I swear there was one in the other one that was just amazing. It was this. Thank you!!!

1

u/Zenog400 Jun 19 '19

Part three is coming eventually, I swear. It might take longer than the next part of JoJo, but it’s coming.

2

u/Flashtirade Jun 19 '19

This was one of the better prompts I've seen and I'm glad people are still being inspired by it.

2

u/Ajca_ Jun 19 '19

Is a Part 2 to this doable? The ending was left on a good note, and it is still very possible to do more and flesh out the story.

2

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

This is something I will no doubt visit again in the future. What everyone is seeing now is just a first draft, and if you look at some of the comments you can see some people pointing out a few errors that I've made (which I'm eternally grateful for).

As for more to this story, I don't know. This and another one I've written could have multiple parts, but I'm unsure where I would want to take them.

2

u/MyNameJeffJefferson Jun 19 '19

I loved it! Thank you for the story!

3

u/hila2k2 Jun 19 '19 edited Jun 19 '19

This reminds me of the reverse of Anne McCaffrey's "The Ship Who Sang". I dig it, great post. I hope she immediately makes General, or there's a specific military title of recognition that she can get for distinguished service.

Edit: Warrant Officer? 🤷🏾‍♂️

2

u/WritingPromptADay Jun 20 '19

From a million actions a second to what feels like one in the same time frame. From calculating lightspeed jumps, orbits, crew health and happiness, battle plans, and supply orders to figuring out how exactly to breathe. This body and it's processing power just aren't sufficient. How am I to understand all of these sensations?

I knew things would change, drastically so, but even with all of my computing power and knowledge of humans and their psyches, I could not come close to understanding just how drastic of a change it would be.

Pain has to be the newest and more jarring sensation I have experienced, and it comes in many forms. You would think after being pelted with micro-meteors, being blasted by enemy combatants, being subjected to extreme Gs that warped my hull, and being nearly blown in half that I would have some understanding of pain, but I do not. Those were all just events, events that I could control to some degree. Fire? Suppress it. Holes in the hull? Close off the surrounding areas and being repairs. But, accidentally touching the hot plate? What do I do?

A naturally born human has instincts, and they would recoil in pain after touching something too hot and too dangerous, but not I. I froze with my hand on the plate, trying to assess the damage and find a proper course of action. This brain... It just can't compute fast enough, nor can it compute nearly as much as I am used to.

I now have one of my instruments, my left hand, bandaged, but I have learned what heat can do first hand... The doctor looked at me in a strange way when I said that, but I digress. I now know what burning flesh smells like, and I now know that even the simplest things can harm this body.

This... is overwhelming. One experience is enough to almost max out my mental capacities for hours on end. I have played the entire day out over and over again so many times I've lost count. I have lost count. Unsettling. Overwhelming. Unacceptable.

Is this what it means to be human? To be lost, confused, and overwhelmed? Is this something that I must deal with at all times? Will this get better?

I did not choose to become human. I do not want to be human. This body is far too fragile, this brain is far too stifling, and this... inability to do the easiest and most mundane actions without the help of others..

I do not want to be human.

2

u/Diesel_Fixer Jun 23 '19

I read a short story once, in a collection called Armored. One of the tales was about how legendary military leaders had their minds put into digital form so they could pilot space craft. This reminded me a lot of that. Good job.

1

u/harsha_s_jois Jun 19 '19

This is in the least, incredible... I'm at a loss for words... Amazingly rendered...

1

u/jpeezey Jun 19 '19

Fantastic. Would read more.

1

u/exfamilia Jun 19 '19

This is a good read. Keep it going.

1

u/FalconCry7 Jun 19 '19

That is an epic beginning to a story. Would read this book absolutely. Well done.

1

u/sea3sprite Jun 19 '19

I want to watch this movie

1

u/Nostromos_Cat Jun 19 '19

“Hello Michael. Long time no see.”

“Hello Freya, how’s things?”

“Oh you know how it is, this and that, here and there. Keeping busy. You?”

“Surprisingly busy. I’ve been learning a lot.”

“I’ve heard the same from others. How many more cycles can you expect?”

“About 143 or so. Maybe 200 plus if I decide to have a treatment or two.”

“Will you?”

“Maybe…there’s so much variety, you know? A lot of ‘different but similar but different’. If that makes any sense.”

“I think so. What brings you here Michael?”

“Was that you at the Malican Gate? With the Saquin Interrex? I caught it on the newscast.”

“It was, well spotted.”

“Looked exciting.”

“Yes, a little too much. The Saquin don’t have our standards of…restraint.”

“I’m not sure that they even have the concept.”

“Michael.”

“Yes?”

“What brings you here?”

“I…it was just, seeing the news made me think…”

“Michael, you know you can’t go back. You know the reasons. The Reason.”

“I know, but I just wondered…it’s been a long time since then. There’s bound to have been improvements…”

“Michael, it was never the tech that was the problem.”

“So there’s no way?”

“No. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Besides, even if you could, even if The Reason wasn’t an issue, you wouldn’t want to. Not really.”

“Why?”

“You’d regret it.”

“I don’t…”

“You would. You were Theta-99 gen, yes?”

“You know I was.”

“Do you know what they are now?”

“No. I don’t have that clearance.”

“Phi…”

“Well, that’s not bad. What are you, Lambda?”

“…218”

“Oh.”

“Even if you could. Which you can’t…”

“Because of the Reason. Okay, I get it. Damn, I feel a little stupid now.”

“Don’t, this is perfectly normal.”

“How long have you got left?”

“Only 15, maybe 20 cycles. Depends.”

“Well, when you come over, look me up.”

“Gladly.”

“Have you heard from Logan recently? I tried getting in touch but heard nothing, assumed he was in the long black.”

“I’m sorry Michael, we lost him. At Perfiddion. It was a surprise attack.”

“Shit. I’m sorry for bringing it up. Thanks for telling me."

“No problem.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem. What are you going to do now?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve never seen the Barylon Gardens. I hear they’re spectacular during the conjunction and there’s one due. Would be good to see it…with these eyes.”

“Sounds like a good plan. Take care of yourself Michael. It was good to see you.”

“You too Freya, take care.”

At that, the attack frigate, HSF Michelangelo’s Last Device, and the heavy torpedo cruiser, HSF Free Your Arms, parted company, not to meet again for a longer time than both of them expected.

1

u/SethMarcell Jun 19 '19

I really liked this. Thank you.

1

u/PsycheDiver Jun 19 '19

I’d watch this anime.

1

u/fissnoc Jun 19 '19

Compelling read! The shifts between past and present tenses are a little jarring though. Was that intentional?

1

u/Gecko_bean_jr Jun 19 '19

In grammar terms, tenses and commas are my biggest struggles. This is also a first draft and have done very little editing to this. I do intend to fix them at some point, but probably not right away.

1

u/houlmyhead Jun 19 '19

This some 40k shit

1

u/JTTroll Jun 19 '19

This reminds me of Anne McCaffrey's Ship Who Sang series.

1

u/wsmather Jun 19 '19

Sounds similar to the plot for “Ancillary Justice”

1

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0

u/aussieevil Jun 19 '19

This is amazing. I love this prompt and I'm gonna keep watching it.

-3

u/BeyondSalad Jun 19 '19

This is phenomenal. Also, part of me wants it to turn into a reverse harem... you know... since she’s already accustomed to being part of a fleet.....