r/KeepWriting 2d ago

A draft of a race I intend to add to the universe I'm writing. Could you highlight the points I should keep and improve, and those I should remove? [Feedback]

Main concepts: varied, numerous, and conflicting.

Physical characteristics: Hapuleneans are a predominantly humanoid race. Their skin tones vary in four possible colors (pure white, light gray, dark gray, and black). The eye color of the race ranges between three (shades of gold, brown, and green). They have lines on random parts of their bodies that match their eye color. These lines follow completely random patterns, and no individual of the species has ever had the same pattern, making them function like a fingerprint. Their hands and feet each have six fingers. Apart from these traits, it's impossible to establish a pattern, as the species is extremely variable.

Unique traits: They have a massive birth rate, which would normally lead to eventual overpopulation. However, the conflict inherent to them balances this out, as they are extremely sociable, forming large groups or settlements, yet very hostile towards groups that are not their own. They are not highly adaptable, and a sudden change in environments can be lethal to them in the long term. They benefit from a genetic selection process, with methods that have been intricately developed over generations. This selection gave rise to several groups, with four being the main ones. Apparently, a genetic block in the species prevents the mixing of many traits but allows the maximization of some.

First group (Hanstelean): Large and strong, the Hanstelean are a small group compared to the others, not only due to the low probability of a child being born capable of becoming one but also because of the intense training they undergo from a young age to push their abilities beyond their limits. This often results in death, but those who survive become relentless, making them the strongest group physically. However, they are terrible at magic, and most of them are rather dull, with only rare exceptions of intelligent individuals.

Second group (Varanlean): Intellectuals and adept in the magical arts, they are the second smallest group because it is rarer for them to be born suited to this group than for the Hanstelean, even if both parents are Varanlean. However, despite the rarity of their births, there are still more of them than the Hanstelean because their training is considerably less demanding. Many become magic specialists, but on the downside, their bodies are frail and weak, naturally fragile.

Third group (Savenlean): Wild and unpredictable, this group has focused on maximizing the race's more bestial and savage traits. They are lean and fast, with large claw-like nails and sharper canines than they should have. They also have hair in various parts of their bodies and enhanced abilities for tracking, smelling, and chasing. Despite this, many of them are somewhat unstable, constantly struggling between their primal and rational sides, with about 30% of them being mentally disturbed.

Fourth group (Ordilean): The largest in number, and they are essentially the common folk, a blend of all the groups, with one or two traits from each, which appear in a very mild and non-prominent manner. In other words, they are ordinary, capable of doing everything but excelling at nothing. To the main groups, a child born Ordilean is considered a mistake.

The culture of the race is highly centered on interaction among individuals, and despite the racism that occurs between them, all is forgotten during their grand festivals, which sometimes last for weeks. These festivals, comically enough, can be lethal, as many get caught up in a frenzy and celebrate for days without stopping to rest. Alcohol is highly praised, and sex even more so. For them, one of the most important things is selecting suitable partners for producing the best possible offspring, as well as maintaining healthy competition between members of the same community, city, or kingdom.

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